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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25527481">Fix you</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Helgabuttercup/pseuds/Helgabuttercup'>Helgabuttercup</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Last of Us</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abby Being an Asshole, Alternate Universe - Homeless, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dark, Ellie (The Last of Us) Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Eventual Romance, F/F, Gangs, Homelessness, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Lies, Oblivious Ellie (The Last of Us), POV Ellie (The Last of Us), Pedophile David (Camp Camp), Protective Joel (The Last of Us), Psychological Drama, Sad Ellie (The Last of Us), Slow Burn, Useless Lesbian Ellie (The Last of Us)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 07:55:44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>82,803</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25527481</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Helgabuttercup/pseuds/Helgabuttercup</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Ellie Williams is a runaway teenager with a troubled past.</p><p>As she tries to survive day by day, she forgets just how good it is to have someone to love you back.</p><p>Well, until she comes across that broken man and this beautiful highschooler.</p><p>But Ellie is running from something.  How long until it bites her in the ass?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dina/Ellie (The Last of Us)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>118</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>438</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She was dying.</p><p>She was not breathing, her body crushed under the weight of the pain corrupting her every sense. Watery eyes opened, longing for the sight of a long awaited excemption. But what she saw ignited the fire in her veins, burned her skin so furiously she fought against the screams bubbling in her throat.</p><p>Green eyes searched for green eyes. His were cold and animal, almost inhuman. His skin wrickled under the pressure of the snarl curling his thin lips. The monster's calloused hands lessened the pression around the pale and fragile neck.</p><p>She was breathing again.</p><p>She felt something hard press against her stomach from where he was straddling her, his legs placed on each side of her battered body.</p><p>His voice was the result of some demonic entity, barely human in its sweet, raspy tone. His voice haunted her head like a neverending nightmare.</p><p>'' I told you to keep quiet.''</p><p>It was barely a whisper, but he might as well have been screaming. She screamed as well but only a groan came out, throat parched by all the crying she's done that day.</p><p>Her head felt funny, a mix of lightheadedness and pain. Crimson blood pourred from somewhere around her right eyebrow. Bile threatened to come surfacing and her mind wanted nothing more than to fade away in a cloud of bliss.</p><p>He smiled sour sweetly and a chocking uneasiness grew inside her guts.</p><p>'' You should always listen to your uncle, little rabbit. Always.''</p><p>She felt fingers fiddle with the rim of her hand me down jeans and she instinctively tried to will her mind away, far away from this hell. From this place she used to call home. It was a feeble attempt but sometimes, when she tried hard enought, she found herself back in her old house. When her mom and dad were still breathing the fresh Boston air. Back when her dad mounted her on his broad shoulders so she could also see The Red Sox of Boston fighting their way throught their opposants, whatever that meant. She just loved the atmosphere and the noise and despite being very young, she knew those people were having fun.</p><p>A muffled groan of pleasure brought her back to reality. The man ran his hands against her skin, not unlike those of a disgusting ramping insect. Her body shivered uncontrollably at the contact of his cold skin on her too flat stomach and her hips. Her eyes glazed over, blood tracing a curved pattern across her eye, clot beggining to form from the long gash. She wanted to scream, to curse, to yell at this man who took everything from her, but she stayed silent. The fight had left her long ago. She could never win. She never did. She was always at his mercy.</p><p>Her bare back scrapped against the wooden floor with each of his movement. Her head hurt from how tight her hairtie was. Sweat stained hair glued at her forehead. She felt like utter shit.</p><p>He panted and her body contracted on itself, fighting against this intrusive attack but he didn't stop. If anything it even fueled his sick selfish pleasure. A tiny whimper escaped her lips, which made him lick his lips wet.</p><p>'' Yeah.... You like that baby girl?''</p><p>The pet name almost made her throw up right on him but she resisted. She knew the beating was almost as bad as the raping, and she did not want another broken rib.</p><p>And then she was left alone on the cold floor, as naked as the day she was born, only more tainted by a perversion she was once not aware existed. Tears rolled down her cheeks like waterfall, smudging the blood to a pink hue.</p><p>Her blood boiled insanely with a white rage that consumed her every thought, desire for murder strong in her good night wishes. She bit her lip and tasted blood, briefly wondering how good his own crimson gore would feel tainted on her small fingers.</p><p>And then the world disappeared on this last but everlasting blood lust.</p><p> </p><p>__________________________________________________________________</p><p>Ellie woke up with her breaths short and raspy, chest tighening every time she breathed out. A sweaty hand jolted to fist the red flannel she was wearing, few inches above her madly beating heart. Her other hand clenched the cold handle of her pocket knife, cold panic surging from deep within her, tensing her muscles and freezing her bones.</p><p>'' Fuck... Oh fuck...''</p><p>She tried to steady her breathing, hand now cradling her chest in desesperate attempt at calming the panic attack.</p><p>'' You're fine girl. You're fine. It's... It's just a stupid nightmare...''</p><p>The sound of her own voice helped her to crawl back into reality. She smelled oil and felt the mattress under her body, old and battered with years of use. One last difficult breath and she let out a long sigh of relief. It was a nightmare. Just a freaking nightmare.</p><p>She swipped aside the hair that stucked at her forehead and cheeks, eyes taking in her surrounding one more time. She was seated on a mattress that has been tossed unceremoniously on the floor of the creepy old garage she has found a few days ago up north of the town.</p><p>''Fuck...'' She sighed, fatigue evident in her voice. ''What time is it ?''</p><p>With great effort, she lifted her body and rose to her full height, cracking her back with a pleasured hum. The girl rubbed the sleep off her eyes and rested her hand on the shed's door and pushed ligthly.</p><p>The sounds of birds and the blinding light of the sun gave her what she needed to know.</p><p>''Oh shit!''</p><p>She ran back inside and gathered her belongings before throwing them in her torn black backpack. She grasped the straps as hard as she could and checked outside for the outlines of a human body.</p><p>And sure enough, there was one.</p><p>''Shit shit shit shit shit!''</p><p>She ajusted her backpack and looked all around for a way out, heart beating fast behind her ribcage. She spotted a broken window up high, out of her reach. Nearing the window she jumped on an old battered car in need of a good fix and then leaped on the metal of an odd looking furniture with too many drawers for her liking.</p><p>She reached for the windows and threw her backpack on the ground which was a few meters down. She casted a last look at the shed's door and jumped as it opened with the screaming of the wood and joints.</p><p>Her body hit the floor like a boulder but she didn't stop. She grabbed the straps of her bag and ran for her life.</p><p>_____________________________________________</p><p>The city of Jackson was lit with human activities despite the early hours. The streets were cramped of cars and sidewalks full of people going left and right to a precise destination.</p><p>Except that Ellie didn't have a precise destination.</p><p>Today was like any other day, the teen was being ignored by all despite her ragged apparence and dirtied face. Jackson had a high percentage of homelessness and she was nothing special to society's judgemental eyes.<br/>
The sun burned the top of her head and she was sweating under the fabric of her shirt and flannel. </p><p>Her dream still felt like a vivid memory.</p><p>Ellie rubbed her eyes, her finger hovering a nail away from the scar slicing her eyebrow. Oh she wished she knew how to make the nightmares go away. She hadn't had a good night of sleep for what felt like forever. </p><p>She stepped on the sidewalk and even though she blended with the crowd of bodies, she still felt like watching a movie, a movie of which she was not a part of. Old men would give her the stinky eyes and the side glances, hoping to be unseen, but she had vigilante eyes, she always saw them.</p><p>It only made her grip the knife harder in her pocket.</p><p>There was voices all around her from the people going about their life, but they all mushed togheter to a crampled mess of tones. But she was not listening, head troubled by her too vivid dream.</p><p>Beaten up blue and white snickers scrapped the asphalt. Cool drafts of wind sneaked their way into her clothes. Her flannel too big for her rubbed at her thights.</p><p>And she was famished.</p><p>She decided to make a detour to one of her favorite place in town. Unlike most people in this town, some of them still cared. There was this coffee shop near the skateboard park that would offer her two pastries and infinite refill of coffee if she helped them taking out the trash. She wasn't too fan of the taste of coffee. Burn shit tasted better. But she was grateful for everything she could fill her stomach with at this point.</p><p>By the time she arrived there, the low grumble of her stomach has turned into a loud growl. She was hungry, so very hungry.</p><p>'' Oh my, hello dear! You are early today!''<br/>
'' Hi Miss Hollers.'' Ellie saluted, giving the old lady a somewhat polite lopsided grin, taking in the wrinkly but sweet smile she was sending her way, probably the only smiles she get these days.<br/>
'' You look so hungry poor little thing. Why don't you go sit over there while I prepare something for you? Go on!''</p><p>Ellie took place on a chair in the backstore, nodding along.</p><p>The coffee shop was a small place, barely big enough to fit a dozen of customers at the same time. From what Ellie has gathered, Miss Hollers has owned this cafe for the past 30 years, so no little feat. The wood cracked, the floor screamed under their feet, but their pastries were the best. They had a vast menu and the place was always clean. It had gained a good reputation over the decade but it was mostly empty this friday.</p><p>''There you go sweetie. Now try not making a mess,uh ?''<br/>
''Yes Miss Hollers. Thank you.''</p><p>Her voice was weak, almost fragile as she thanked the owner, taking a bite out of the warm muffin, allowing the taste to fill her mouth with its chocolate chunks.</p><p>It didn't quite fulled her stomach but it did ease the pain, her core no longer an empty void.</p><p>After asking for a small coffee, Ellie helped the old lady to take out the heavy trash and soon enough she was on her way and it was as if she never came.</p><p>They never bothered to talk about her condition. A sixteen year old girl shouldn't be in the street. But things were pretty bad in Jackson. People didn't question it and if they did they never acted on it, much to Ellie's relief. She did not want the police on her case.</p><p>And she'd rather die than go back home, if she could still call it like that. It sure as hell didn't feel like a home back then.<br/>
Her feet took her nowhere in particular but she found herself in front of a high school building and memories flooded her like rain. She had liked high school. She had medium grades. Had a friend or two to hang out with after school to avoid going home. She particurly loved the music lessons, where she had started to learn playing guitar. Gustavo was a good teacher and she had good memories of him. She smiled sadly at the education she was most likely to miss and never have. Life was like a lottery ticket; and it was clear that she didn't win this one.</p><p>She sat on the ground, back against a broken tree trunk just in front of the school building. Taking out her diary from her bag, she tapped her pen on the rim of the book, bitting down on her lip as she seemed deep in thought.</p><p>/I saw him again last night. I swear he gets more scary everytime I dream of him.<br/>
I was helpless, bloodied. Totally at his mercy.<br/>
I'm so tired of this shit.<br/>
If only my morning sun would shine.../</p><p>There was the sound of footsteps as she wrote the last word, and curiosity caught the cat.</p><p>And in front of her stood the most beautiful girl she has ever seen.<br/>
She was her age, maybe a bit older, and she sported the high school uniform which suited her so well it was criminal. A mope of black curls waved around an olive colored face, with a smile so enticing Ellie felt her throat block suddenly. Her brown eyes were round and big. She noticed how her irises would turn honey if under the right light. The smile stretched on her face at the joke one of her friend made her knee go numb, and Ellie couldn't help but notice the many freckles dusting her face, not unlike herself.</p><p>The teenager allowed herself a dreamy smile. She didn't know the girl.<br/>
But every time before and after school she would come here and let her eyes wander over the beautiful teenager laughing with her friends.<br/>
She would stare at her from across the street with the faintest smile for minutes, until the bell rang,</p><p>Then she would leave and come back at the end of classes. So far she never spotted her, since she was very experimented at playing the wallflower.<br/>
She was so beautiful and Ellie was never able to take her eyes off of her.</p><p>Glancing down at her diary, she gripped the pen tightly and continued to write.</p><p>/My morning sun is the drug that brings me near<br/>
To the childhood I lost<br/>
Replaced by fear.../</p><p>It was the lyrics of an old song. And yet it described her so well it hurt to think about how screwed she was right now. Barely 16 with no roof above her head and in a constant hunger. Per chance she was never one to eat a lot and she was used to go a long time without snacking. She hated having to scavenge the trash so she would often do odd jobs for a few needed bills. She still had a fucking pride to maintain and would die hungry before she picked food from trash.</p><p>Her feet brought her to a picnic area, in the park near the school, already patiently waiting for the girl to come out, to show her her perfect white smile.</p><p>'' God I'm such a creep.'' She muttered to herself, nervously playing with her fingers.</p><p>She placed her head in her hands, wondering why things went so wrong. She was an happy kid.<br/>
Why did her parents had to die so early?</p><p>''No. I can't think about them right now. I'm stressed enought as it is. I need to find shelter for tonight.. that morning was too close of a call...''</p><p>But she did like that mattress. And the shed offered warmth and security. She just needed to wake up before 5 am.</p><p>Every morning without exception, the owner of the shade makes apparition. For what, she had no idea but she was always gone by that time. Ellie was also one to have the worst sleep schedule. There was too many a close calls lately.<br/>
But there was also something that bothered her greatly, sending a methaphorical brick in the pit of her stomach.</p><p>Sometimes she would wake up in the middle of the night with a blanket near her. Or other times in the morning she would spot snacks around the shed she was not sure was there before. Maybe she was just negligent. That was the most probable answer.</p><p>There was no way the man knew she was there. He would have her thrown out already. Like the others before.</p><p>Time passed quickly. She even succeded in taking a short nap, head rested on her arms like she sometimes did at school.</p><p>And when she moved towards the school, she saw her again, leaning against a taller asian guy, and he laughed wholeheartedly at something she said in his ear. Ellie leaned her shoulder against a tree, his rough trunk scrapping the soft fabric, her ponytail laying on her other shoulder. Trying the stare at her throught the thickness of her soft dark auburn hair.</p><p>She loved to observe the mannerisms of her movements. She loved the way she moved, the way she talked, how her hand would often brush her dark bangs out of her eyes. How good she always looked with her uniform. How white her teeth shone under the smile and how she liked the way her hair bounced at every step. Ellie chuckled lightky at how creepy she sounded just now.</p><p>''She doesn't even know you, creep'' She grounded herself like she would a perverted boy.</p><p>She better go before she turn into some kind of sexual harasser or something. She stared at her way too long for it to ne normal. But when she did turn around one last time to check on her, the young woman was looking directly at her with a smile.</p><p>And Ellie felt her heart drop.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was heavily raining that night. The wind was strong and merciless against the dark rotten wood of the shed she was sleeping in. It eased its way in, causing the cabin to growl and crack. The tiny body on the mattress shivered as freezing drafts skimmed over her clothed self despite the grey hoodie and black shredded jeans that did so little in warming her up.</p><p>Summer was definitely over now and autumn was her favorite time of the year. There was something just so magical about the warm colors painting the trees and horizons and the cool but fresh air filled with the scent of rain and dried leaves. It also unfortunately meant she had to scavenge for warmer clothes.<br/>
When she left home last year she had brought with her a hoodie, her favorite. It has started to fray at the sleeves but it still kept her somewhat warm during the day.</p><p>The sound of rain splattering against the roof was relaxing, but Ellie could not find it in herself to sleep. Arms crossed behind her head, hair out of its usual ponytail, green eyes gazed at the creaking wood above her head, lost in the dangerous sea that was her mind.</p><p>Her only light in this darkness was the occasional shots of angry lightening crossing the sky in an explosion of sounds. With all this commotion, she was not able to sleep at all. The teenager rolled on her side, slightly shivering. She was hungry, her bottle of water was empty, and she was cold. Nothing she didn't experiment before but it did not make it any easier. If anything, it only made her feel more lonely and depressed.</p><p>She missed her parents. She missed her friends. She even missed David's old dog. But she wouldn't go back. She couldn't. He'd kill her for sure. Or make her pay and she was unsure which was worst.</p><p>Ellie hugged her body tightly, tears threatening to fall. She was so tired of this. She just wanted to close her eyes and never wake up. She wanted to escape this dreadful and hopeless life. She had no future. At this rate she would probably not even survive Jackson's harsh winter, when food is scarce and people less generous.</p><p>Her left hand grabbed the handle of her knife and she let her fingers run on it, feeling the cold, sharp edge menacing to slice her skin. It would be so easy. Slit her wrists open and let the weird man find her in the morning in a pool of her own blood. She would never admit it, but she often thought about suicide, too often for her liking. But then a feeling of utter shame came and it tamed the undesirable emotions. In this world, she had no one to like and to like her back. </p><p>She felt so godamn lonely.</p><p>There was a sudden growl somewhere in the shed and her blood froze in her veins. The heavy door opened and a shot of light blinded her for a moment.</p><p>Ellie shot upright, hand instinctively holding onto her knife for eventual protection. The man who entered seemed just as baffled, his small eyes opened wide.</p><p>''Oh. I uh didn't know you'd be awake'' came his gruff but soft voice, lips babbling under a thick graying beard. '' You uh... You usually sleep like a log at this time o' night so... Well I bhought this blanket to- hey!''</p><p>She didn't let him finish and bolted out of shed, running faster than she ever did before. She ran so fast she almost tripped on her own feet.</p><p>''Hey wait, kiddo!''</p><p>But she didnt stop, holding the straps of her backpack for dear life. Soon enough she was nothing but drenched head to toes, shoes and legs covered in mud and loose hair glued to her skin and clothes. The young teen ran toward the wooden fence circling the propriety and shimmied her way between two planks of wood, leaving forever behind the man and the best shelter she had in weeks.</p><p>By the time she reached rown, she had no more air to breath and she stopped, resting her palms on her knees, curling slightly over to let the air fill her lungs again.</p><p>Fuck.</p><p>FUCK!</p><p>Godamn fucking fuck!</p><p>That's it, that is how she was gonna die. Like a trash bag in the rain. Dead from hypothermia or something dumb like that. Well, fuck it. She was a survivor for crying out loud, and she would fight again for one more breath.</p><p>As she made her way toward a source of shelter from the rain, she tried to balance her mind towards positivity, but it was no easy feat. She was a pessimist, always saw the glass half empty. Couldn't help herself.</p><p>Depression and PTSD did not help either.</p><p>But sometimes, she would try to be that brave positive girl she wanted to become. But it was so hard and tiring to be someone else and her resolve often crumpled under the darkness in her heart.</p><p>The street she was following was a dead end, but at the extremity of it she found her plan B. </p><p>Hidden behind piles of trash and boxes, the barely visible sign of the cheap restaurant shone brightly in the night. This was no place for a 16 years old girl, but so was the street so she made her way to it.</p><p>The bell rang as she opened the faded white door and she immediatly smelled tobacco. The place was small and alit with some blue and red lights hanging from the roof. Since it was past midnight the restaurant was empty, save for some guy sleeping on the counter and an old waitress flicking throught today's newspaper, cigarette in her mouth, leaning heavily over the pinkish counter. </p><p>Without a word, she placed her bag on one of the booth and sighed when she removed the weight off her exhausted legs. She was completely drenched and it sucked. But at least it was warm in here.</p><p>'' Some coffee, dear?''</p><p>Ellie looked up at the face of the waitress, eyeing her up and down behind a mess of black curly hair and thick rimmed glasses.</p><p>The teenager awkwardky straightened her back, briefly going over the menu. Maybe it was time to spare some of the coins she made by helping that old lady last week with her garden.</p><p>''Uh... Yeah, that'd be great. And a ham sandwich. Please.'' She added. '' Is... Is that okay if I stay here for the night? It's pretty cold outside and I caught the rain...''</p><p>She made puppy dog eyes at the woman. She hated pity but for the sake of warmth, she could put her pride aside. The waitress frowned and took in the state of the teenager.</p><p>''Sure.'' She answered, not wanting to dwell in the girl's business. ''But you are helping me with the dishes after your meal.''<br/>
'' Deal.''</p><p>After she finished coffee, food and dishes, she took out her old walkman and earbuds and laid onto the dirty and frayed booth, stomach no longer an empty void. Her clothes were no longer wet but a more comfortable damp. She removed her shoes and turned to her side, eyes closing to the melodious voice of Russel Hitchcock playing in her ears.</p><p>---‐---------------</p><p><br/>
/I saw her again today. Maybe I'm just crazy, but she gets prettier every time I see her.<br/>
She was with her boyfriend. Well, who I assume is her boyfriend, unless she makes a hobby out of kissing her friends.<br/>
Man I feel like such a creep. She saw me staring today and I wanted to bury myself in the ground. I waved awkwardly and she waved back. Fuck. I'm such an idiot.<br/>
She was just being polite to that creepy loner staring from behind the tree. Nothing more.<br/>
I need to give her some space. But man, I'm gonna miss her smile.../</p><p>Ellie sucked on a lolipop she bought, blinking slowly in fatigue as she wrote down her thoughts. Suddenly nervous, she flicked the remaining pages, bitting down hard on her lip when she saw she only had a few pages left.<br/>
Feeling braver all of sudden, she turned the book over and started to read one of her very first entries.<br/>
It was very messy, with random drawings all over the pages. There was very faint specks of pink here and there, and Ellie closed her eyes at the memory, willing the panic away. Now was not the time for an episode. She quickly dug out her walkman and shoved the earbuds in her ears, drowning her nefast thoughts in soft rock. She let the calming hum of the strings brush the negativity away, all while trying to control her breathing.</p><p><br/>
When she felt a bit better she wandered into town, hands deep in her pockets. She stopped a many places, asking her acquantances if they had any job for her. Ellie Williams was no thief, it was more profitable for her to ask for simple jobs instead. It allowed her to gain a bit of money on her more lucky days and at least shelter or a bit of food on other days. Managers trusted her and they prefered to give a few pieces for a well needed help than pay for another employee.</p><p>She stopped in front of a pizzeria and spotted a fat man in a dirtied apron covered in grease. She pushed the door.</p><p>''Hey T, got any work for me?'' She asked without salutation, barely looking at the man, too busy staring at the delicious pizzas presented behind the glassed display.<br/>
''That you, kid? Haven't seen you in weeks. I thought you were dead. You okay?''</p><p>Ellie knew he didn't give a fuck about her but she nodded nonetheless.</p><p>''Been busy. Any work for me?'' She repeated impatiently.</p><p>The bald man gave a laugh as greasy as his pizzas and disappeared in the basckstore. The teenager stared at a bowl full of chocolates to sell and fought to keep her hands to herself. Fortunately he came back soon enough and threw a red and black shirt at her.</p><p>''Get dressed, you look like shit! You have a delivery to make down the street. Comon, hurry!''<br/>
'' And what do I get from it ?'' She asked, trying to keep the snark out of her voice.</p><p>He lifted one of his bushy eyebrow.</p><p>'' You get to keep the tip. So better offer one hell of a service, kid!''<br/>
''Sure.'' She replied, a bit pissed off at his not so generous offer and she slipped into the uniform.</p><p>But beggar couldn't be chosers. And she stomped to him, snatched the box of pizza a little too furiously and ran off outside the door, muttering something under her breath about cheap italian fuckers.</p><p>The place was not actually that far, it barely took her seven minutes to get there. Ellie actually wondered who the fuck was too much of lazy ass to go to a seven godamm minutes walk. The hot box felt food on her frozen hands and the smell was really getting to her. Maybe she shouĺd treat herself a good slice later. Man it's been so long since she last ate a good, hot pizza. But she also needed to buy a coat for the upcoming winter. She knew where to buy one for really cheap but it was still an handful of money. Maybe spend less in food and soda for a while...</p><p>Ellie sighed, quietly listening to Anne Murray's voice echoing throught her earbuds.</p><p>The young woman finally stoppped in front of the door and knocked, not even bothering to remove the music, supposing it wouldn't change much to the grumpy old bastard who opened the door with the whitest smile.</p><p>Ellie's breath caught in her throat and the world turned a dreamy pink around her, sending her spiralling into a tornado of emotioms.</p><p>
  <em>Dreamin', I must be dreamin'</em><br/>
<em>Or am I really lying here with you?</em><br/>
<em>Baby, you take me in your arms</em><br/>
<em>And though I'm wide awake, I know my</em><br/>
<em>Dream is comin' true</em>
</p><p>There she was, majestic in her purple top, hair loose and curly like a modern Esmeralda, brown irises melting into her own green eyes. Ellie gaped at the heavenly apparition, not quite certain if she was seeing straight. Two wings popped from behind the sweet faced girl, whiter than a the puffy cloud in the sky above.</p><p>
  <em>And oh I just fall in love again</em><br/>
<em>Just one touch </em><br/>
<em>And then it happens every time</em><br/>
<em>There I go by, just fall in love again</em><br/>
<em>When I do</em><br/>
<em>I can't help myself, I fall in love with you</em>
</p><p>She felt her knees go weak, awestruck at the sight of those deep pools of syrupy honey. Her face was dusted with freckles, her mouth stretched into puckered lips. Was she murmuring her name ?</p><p>''Ellie...'' The girl's soft tone sent Ellie railing back into a too perfect daydream , where she was in her arms, and things were going so fine.</p><p>
  <em>Magic, it must be magic</em><br/>
<em>The way I hold you</em><br/>
<em>When the night just seems to fly.</em><br/>
<em>Easy for you to take me to a star</em><br/>
<em>Heaven is that moment when I look into your eyes</em>
</p><p>They locked eyes again, and their hands brushed ever so slightly. Ellie brought hers against her lips, gently applying the most gentle kiss. It was perfect. She was so beautiful up close, and they were going to run togheter, hands in hands, far from this horrible place.</p><p>''Ellie'' She sing sang again, tracing the soft curve of the redhead jaw with a long finger.<br/>
''Yes?'' The teen pained to talk, mouth frozen in an happy smile, slowly brushing a rebelious lock of dark hair out of the perfect face in front of her.<br/>
''... zza.''<br/>
''Hm? What did you say?'' She asked, confused.<br/>
'' The pizza, Ellie. The pizz-<br/>
'' Hello, earth to pizza delivery girl?!?!''</p><p>Ellie's eyes shot right open when her earbuds were suddenly thrown out of her ears, music stopping just as abruptly as her dreams. The girl from the school was standing less than a meter from her, her features contorded in a mix of annoyance and amusement. Her eyes were staring at her as if she was some kind of mysterious animal and she lifted an inquisitive eyebrow. <br/>
This was no dream.<br/>
It was reality.<br/>
And she just made a fool out of herself.<br/>
Ellie felt her mouth go dry and she fumbled in her words.</p><p>''I uh'm here for the, ah, the pi-pizza.''</p><p>Fuck, she felt awkward and dumb. Her hands holding the pizza were shaking and her head felt funny. She slowly clawed her way back to reality and realised she had been staring, literally staring, wordlessly, at the girl she crushed on.</p><p>'' Thanks... Can i have it now?''</p><p>Ellie looked at the pizza and down at the girl before handing it over, still looking stupidly into the eyes of the stranger standing by the door. The customer smiled in appreciation and dug her hand into her pocket and handed her a twenty.</p><p>'' Keep the change weirdo.''</p><p>There was no venom or mock in her voice, she said it like it was a matter of fact. Ellie felt her face redden in deep shame and she left the doorstep without saying a word, barely conscious of the twenty dollars bill in her fist.</p><p>What the fuck was wrong with her? What kind of- what kind of creep was she ?</p><p>''Get a hold of yourself... shit.'' She cursed, red in the face.</p><p>Well if there was any chance left in this world for her to get togheter with the girl, it was gone now. Once the shame had subsisted, it left her with an emotion much more hollow in its origin. Now she just felt sad. It has been so long since she talked, really talked to someone her age. She felt awkward and out of place, her lack social skills has rendered rather quiet, a shadow of the blabbermouth she used to be. No one wanted to hear what she had to say anyway. Furiously kicking on a pebble on the ground she went to give the money to Tony, aka T, which left her with the 3.80 dollars tip. When she counted all the money she had on her, she was surprised she had so much left. 34.95 cents. That was a lot. If she was careful she could last another few days without having to stress too much her  vital needs</p><p>When the sun set, the teenager found an empty but quiet spot in an alleway. It was not too cold today and she was comfortable enough under the weight of her hoodie, flannel and shirt. Sitting with her back against the wall, she fought the exhaustion and ran both her hands in her newly washed hair before checking the contents of her bag. Let’s see. There was her trusted walkman and earbuds, an half empty bottle of shampoo, soap, her full filled bottle of water, her knife, an half eaten bar of caramel stuffed chocolate and finally, a few cds for her walkman. She also had a few underwears she would wash if she had the change.<br/>
She had almost nothing to her name.<br/>
Not wanting to dwell too much on her shitty life, the teenager closed her eyes and well into a dreamless slumber.</p><p> </p><p><br/>
It was well into the night when a sound near her took her from that peaceful and much needed sleep. She cursed silently. She was sleeping so good and she swore to destroy whatever crap that had woken her up.<br/>
Turning her heavy head toward the sound, she frowned upon seeimg the outline of a shadow clumsily making its way to her. The strong scent of alcohol filled the air with each step the stranger took.<br/>
Suddenly very awake, the young girl stood up, carefully watching over this drunkass of a man, ready to pounce on him with her knife did he try anything.</p><p><br/>
‘’Hey ther’ doll. Whut are you doin’ here by yurselv’?’’ He slurred, dark pools of darkness gazing at her with half a smirk.<br/>
From what she could see from the light of the lamp post, the man looked well into his forties and had a strong build hidden under a tatterer leather jacket. Ellie’s heart dropped painfully in the pit of her stomach as she let adrenaline and instinct take over.</p><p><br/>
‘’ Back off, man! I swear- I swear to fucking God if you take another step I’m fucking stabbing you! I-I’m not joking around!’’</p><p><br/>
She tried to appear menacing, but she was a skinny teenager and he was a grown ass man. A grown ass man who, if he wanted to, could do whatever he desired with her. The thought alone sent a jolt of electricity in her brain and her chest contracted when she felt a familiar panic raising within her.</p><p><br/>
Fuck. Not now!</p><p><br/>
Unwelcome images of David filled her brain. She remembered his filthy hands all over her, and she felt like clawing at her skin until it bled.  The stranger’s eyes looked so much like his;  perverted, dangerous and corrupted.<br/>
Breathing became difficult.</p><p><br/>
‘’C’mere doll, I don’t wanna hurt ya. M’sure we can do it peacefully and quietly, ya?’’</p><p><br/>
Ellie gulped down on the brick blocking her throat and charged towards him, past him.<br/>
Drunk and surprised, he could barely comprehend when the teenager ran past him without givimg him time to do anything.<br/>
And when he turned back, she had already disappeared into the night.</p><p>Ellie ran and ran until her legs gave out, and she almost passed out from, exhaustion. She limped to get to a bench facing some flowers shop and laid on her side, both hands clutching at her hoodie. Her eyes teared at the lack of air she was getting and she cried even more at the sheer fear of dying like a looser on this bench. Gruesome pictures filled her head. His eyes, his voice, his hands, his breathing, his tongue, his dick, she could see and feel them all, it made her sick to her stomach. Barely restraining from crying out, she pulled her knife, looking at it expectedly and began to stab the bench with all the strenght she could muster. Her hand shot up and down a dozen of time, gluttural sounds produced by her throat the only music to this release of fear and rage.</p><p><br/>
‘’ I will kill you! I will fucking kill you dead! Fuck you! Fu-fucking fuck you!’’</p><p><br/>
She only stopped when she became painfully aware of how numb her arm had become. It dropped to her side, breathing coming to a slower rythm as she looked at the holes in the craftship of the bench.</p><p><br/>
Hot tears rolled down her cheeks, each track leaving a burning sensation in its wake. She was so sick and tired of everything. She just wanted the pain to end. She wanted the memories to go away. She wanted to go home, her real home. She wanted to take a hot bubbled bath, she longed to sleep in a real fluffy bed. She wanted to sleep with a smile on her face and not having to worry about the next day’s problems.</p><p><br/>
She was so tired of fighting.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>''Come here rabbit... cute, cute little rabbit...''</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Ellie tossed herself further against the closet's wall, hoping she'd blend into it and disappear. Her bruised knees has been brought to her small frame, limpy arms envelopping them in a hug. Her body shook in terror and pain, eyes fixed on the door, knowing all too well it was only a matter of time before he found her. Her hands moved to her head, gripping at her hair, tugging it in desperation. She wanted him to leave her alone. She didn't want to hear his voice, to see his weathered face, to feel his hands against her skin.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She frowned, the newly fresh scar across her eyebrow still aching. Tears shone at the edge of her eyes. She always thought she was someone tough. But David made her feel so weak, so helpless and worthless. She hated it with every fiber of her being. She was nothing but a ragdoll, something to be used for his own sick pleasure. She hated him, more than words could ever describe. There was no word strong enough in this world to specify how much she despiced him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She heard the footsteps coming closer and she closed her eyes, tears rolling down her cheeks, knuckles white from the grip she had on her auburn hair. Her breathing was uneven and her silent crying turned into whimpers when the wooden door opened on his ugly face, lips twisted in a demented version of a sweet smile.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Physically speaking, David Williams was nothing like his older brother. He was scrawny but possessed enough strenght to lift her up easily. His hair and eyes were dark, whereas her father was light haired and blue eyed.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>His eyes was what scared her the most. They were hungry, full of an animalistic desire that wasn't there before the system forced her to live with him after her parent's accident. She had no one but this uncle her parents visited once in a while.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He had a charming personality. His voice was soothing and his eyes genuine and full of trust. For a while, he was this sweet uncle who brought her ice cream and showed her those cartoons destined for teenagers despite her younger age.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Then she came to live with him. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Everything was fine at first. She had stayed in the same school so while she was crying the death of her parents, things weren't so bad.</em><br/>
<em>Then there was the curios hand on her knee. The lingering fingers on her tight. The low purring when he asked for a kiss on his cheek. The accidental touch on her ass. It has been so gradual she barely noticed when things got out of hands.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>''Come here Ellie. I dont want to hurt you baby girl. Come to me.''</em><br/>
<em>''Leave me alone, you chickenshit!'' She yelled, rage burning in her words.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>His face turned horrible and he squinted his eyes in anger.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>''What did I say about cursing?'' </em>
</p><p>
  <em>He reached madly for her foot, his anger only fueled by the shouts of terror and distress of the teenager who tried to kick at him with all her might, her hands trying to get a hold of anything that could help her get away from him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>''Submit yourself therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.'' He growled, holding onto her jeans so hard she feared it'd tear.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Ellie could only cry in fright when he got her out of the closet, an handful of her ponytail in his strong hand. He forced her cheek againt his bearded own.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>''The eye that mocks a father and scorns to obey a mother will be picked out by the ravens of the valley and eaten by the vultures.''</em><br/>
<em>''You are not my family!'' The girl hissed with an hate that came deep from within her core.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But he didn't listen, eyes staring at something high up.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>''Now I want to remind you, although you once fully knew it, that Jesus, who saved a people out of the land of Egypt, afterward destroyed those who did not believe. And the angels who did not stay within their position of authority, but left their proper dwelling, he has kept in eternal chains under gloomy darkness until the judgment of the great day - just as Sodom and Gomorrah and the surrounding cities, which likewise indulged in sexual immorality and pursued unnatural desire, serve as an exemple by undergoing a punishment of eternal fire.''</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Ellie felt the bile threatening to spill all over him. Her head felt fuzzy and light, as if she was going to faint. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>''You're sick.'' She stated, her nails stabbing the back of his arm.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But he only smiled, his grip tightening over her shaking blossoming body at his mercy.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>''I am only purrifying you from this evil deviance of yours, my little rabbit. So you can come forward a normal member of this society.''</em><br/>
<em>''Go to hell!''</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He backhanded her so hard she fell on her back and the floor cried out under her weight. He rolled over her, his body so much larger than hers. She looked at him straight in his eyes and saw nothing but the horrible fate that had yet to come. She was only 13 but she felt like murdering him, bash his brain with a machete until there was nothing else but a mashed version of his face.</em>
</p><p><br/>
-----------------</p><p>Ellie woke up in a gasp and the mother of all headaches. She breathed hard throught her nose, trying to get a grip of reality but fuck, her head was hurting like a motherfucker.</p><p>She lifted her body to a sitting position and the ache in her back reminded her she slept on that wooden bench all night. Night that was not completely over judging by the still dark scenery, a ray of light barely making itself known above the high buildings. Fear crept up her back and turned into a disgusting shiver. Furiously wiping away the cold tears on her face, she stood up, grabbed her bag and headed toward a more populated area.</p><p>The memory of David was so fresh in her mind, it was like he was still there, creeping upon her every move like a shadow. She still felt the bruise from his touch, and her scar became sore. She closed her eyes and tried to think about something else and the only thing that came to mind was the infectuous smile of that black haired girl. It eased the muscles in her shoulders and released the tightening of her chest. She wanted to see her again.<br/>
But could she ? She was so damaged and she was so pure and angel-like. God, she didn't even know her name.</p><p>Ellie felt her mood dampen at the idea.</p><p>All in all, she felt miserable. She felt deadly tired, weak, hungry and stressed. She also felt scared, but it was an every day emotion. She was still shaken up by the nightmare and there was nothing she could do to stop the images graved in her head, playing it over and over like a broken record. She only moved forward, head hung low.</p><p>The dinner she walked into was already lit with human activities. Mostly early construction workers, clothed in dirty clothes and yellow protective gears. But Ellie didn't pay attention to them and settled in the only booth available, eyes half closed, feeling as if her soul had been drained from her body.<br/>
She ordered a coffee full of sugar and nothing to munch on. Her stomach groaned in protest but she ignored it. She didn't feel hungry-hungry, she just felt like throwing up. Even the coffee was too much but she had to buy something if she wanted to stay in the warm and inviting environememt.</p><p>She drank her coffee, staring lazily outside the window. The sun was begining to set and Jackson slowly was brought to life. A group of teenagers passed in front of the dinner, laughing at something one of the boys said and gesturing wildly. Ellie grimly thought that could have been her, if life had turned out to her favor. They were smiling and the teenager wondered when was the last time she’d been happy.</p><p>Probably when her parents were still alive.</p><p>She was so lost in her own thought she didn't notice that someone has taken the seat in front of her. The place was so packed it was the only place left.<br/>
But she didn't aknowledge him, keeping her stare on the window. The person in front of her shifted and exhaled softly.</p><p>''Hey there kiddo.''</p><p>Ellie frowned and looked up, eyes darkening upon seeing the face of the man of the shed. She hadn't seen him properly but she was sure it was him. She recognized his voice and thick texan accent.</p><p>''You gotta be fucking kidding me...'' she growled under her breath, looking on her side to avoid his face, the wrinkles around his eyes reminding her too much of Him.<br/>
If he was offended by her cursing he didn't show. He took a calming sip of his coffee and looked at her with soft concern in his eyes, unsure of what to say.</p><p>''The coffee good ?'' He asked, almost timidly.</p><p>Ellie shot him a hateful glance,</p><p>''Why do you care ?''<br/>
''Just askin'' he shrugged.</p><p>She frowned harder and turned her head toward the window, taking a sip herself.</p><p>''It tastes like burned shit.''She finally answered, not looking at him.<br/>
''Why do you drink it then ?''<br/>
''Fuck man, are we playing twenty questions now ? Don't talk to me. Just drink your shit and be on your way!'' She barked as a defense mechanism.</p><p>The man strained his eyes over the too skinny teenager, trying to decipher how to approach this wild cat without getting clawed at. He looked at his surroundings, deep in thoughts.</p><p>''Haven't seen you in the shed recently. I reckon it's getting mighty cold outside.''<br/>
''Again, why do you fucking care?''<br/>
''I just don't think a kid should be out there by this weather.''<br/>
''Oh yeah? Well I don't think a dude as old as you should drink coffee. Isn't it bad for your heart? How old are you anyway, 70?''</p><p>Despite the insult, he chuckled lightly.</p><p>''Aren't you the little firecracker, I'm 45. Think you can count to that?''</p><p>Was it in her head or did the little fucker just crack a joke at her?</p><p>The pain in her head had subsisted, thanks to the coffee, and she felt a remark creep up her throat.</p><p>''I definitely can. Not so sure about you though, you know, with the dementia. You being 45, you should already be dead at this age. Freaky old man.''</p><p>He smirked into his dark, steaming coffee.</p><p>''Careful there kid, that's a big word for someone who's 11.''</p><p>Ellie felt her face redden at the implication and she fisted her hands, shooting him a murderous glance.</p><p>''I'm 16, you old fucker.''<br/>
''Hm. I mean, you're so small,I could have sworm...''<br/>
''Hey!'' She yapped. ''I'll have you know that I'm above average. Not like a giant like you can understand.''<br/>
''Hm? Sorry, kiddo. Can't hear you from up here.''</p><p>Ellie crossed her arms protectively.</p><p>''So that's how you spend your sweet mornings? Chatting up homeless teenager girls?'' She sneered from across the table, finally daring to meet his eyes.</p><p>The man seemed to think for a second before he shook his head. He looked rather well for a man in his mid forties. He must have looked handsome at her age. Not like she was interested anyway.</p><p>''I've been uh... worried 'bout you is all.'' He said carefully, eyes staring intently at his mug. ''I, ah, saw you sleepin' in the shed the other day and... well it got me thinkin' that maybe you were in trouble.''<br/>
''I'm fine.'' Ellie hissed, leering at him with the eyes of a desperate cat ready to bounce at any hint of danger.</p><p>There was something weird going on with him. With the tone of his voice, of his smell, with his posture. There was something... oddly father-like with him.</p><p>And she hated it. She hated that it brought up feelings she's been trying her hardest to ignore.</p><p>She finished her coffee tossed her bag on her back.</p><p>''I don't need your help.''</p><p>And she left without giving him the opportunity to talk back, she couldn't give two fucks about what he wanted to accomplish with her. Guys could never be trusted. They were nothing but perverted animals.</p><p>Once she was sure he wasn't following her she slowed her pace to a more normal walk, head still replaying the scene over and over again. What the fuck was that ? Who did he think he was? Must be some pervy dude out for her pants too. That's what she was worth, right? <br/>
Ellie cringed at the thought and it reminded her of the hours of crying she's spent over this, too deep in her self loath to think about anything else. She wanted to scream and cry at the memory of his disgusting hairy hands over her belly, on her face, between her legs...</p><p>She was going to be sick. </p><p>She ran to the closest trash can and puked everything she had eaten and drank lately, which wasn't much. The whole ordeal left her stomach empty and painful. She groaned in discomfort and let her back slid down the brick wall behind her, headache coming back full force. She felt like shit, and tears welled at her eyes. She wiped them with her sleeve and marched to a more reclusive area, feeling like a zombie.</p><p> </p><p>-----------------</p><p>It was pretty late when Ellie decided to try eating again.</p><p>She bought a proteine bar from the grocery store, but she kept staring like she was trying to fanthom the idea of eating it.</p><p>She sat cross legged in front of the said market, trying to look like some bored teenager and not like a freaking homeless scrawny kid. A strand of hair brushed her nose and she blowed on it. Man she wished she could get an haircut. She had been thinking of shorter hair for a while now, but it was not high on her priority list.</p><p>Maybe someday.</p><p>She stared hard at the food then pocketed it, deciding she still wasn't hungry despite the growling of her belly. She stood up and decided to ask that dinner she left earlier if she could borrow a booth for the night when something caught her attention. It sounded like fighting and arguing. Usually Ellie was not one to dwell in people's business, she had enough problems of her own, but there was something awfully familiar about that feminime shout. So familiar in fact, it made her throat close up. She gathered her stuff and jogged to the back of a karaoke salon. Despite the bright neons, the back of the structure was dark and covered in graffitis. Ellie felt her bag drop off her shoulder at the sight before her. She rubbed her eyes but there was no mistaking that unholy sight.</p><p>The girl from the school was there, clad in a beautiful white skirt and blue top. Ellie felt her heart pound furiously and her mouth go dry. However, she seemed angry, and was yelling at one guy standing in front of her with sandy blonde hair and a jeans jacket. She was poking a long, manicured finger at the boy's chest, giving him a slight shove with each argument.</p><p>''What the fuck is so hard to understand, Bailey? No means no! I learned it when I was barely two ! And beside, I have a boyfriend now! Surely you know what that means right? Or do I need to spell it out for you?''</p><p>Her voice seethed with rage, but also confidence, as if the big guy was nothing to be afraid of. The boy rumbled, his voice deep and sharp in his reply:</p><p>''I've been going after you for months, Dina! Months! You said it was fine. You let me kiss you in the back of my car the other day! And now you're telling me you were not serious? Just how much of a tease-no, a slut are you! ''He yelled, hurt clear in his voice.</p><p>The girl, Dina, shook her head in disbelief.</p><p>''You need to go home, Bailey, or-''<br/>
''Or what, wrench??''He growled, seizing her up by the front of her shirt, violence evident in his behaviour.</p><p>Ellie felt her feet move on their own. She left the bag on the ground and with all the force her body possessed, she tackled him on the side so hard they both crashed on the ground.</p><p>''What the hell!''Bailey groaned, holding his head. ''Who the fuck are you?''</p><p>Ellie stood up with only small scratches at her elbows. She looked at him with hatred.</p><p>''Why don't you fight with someone your own size, uh?''<br/>
''Oh, you mean like you? Stay out of my business!''</p><p>The teenager has stood up, and Ellie noticed he was exactly the same size as her. She cursed under her breath. </p><p>''Well'' She muttered to herself. ''Here goes nothing.''</p><p>The punch was so fast, he never saw it coming. He staggered back in a grunt, hands holding his nose. Behind them, Dina watched the scene in shock and confusion.</p><p>''Wait-'' She started.<br/>
''You fucking bitch!'' Bailey yelled, lifting his fist.</p><p>Ellie took a step back, prepared to defend herself, but her foot tripped.</p><p>Tripped on a stupid rock.</p><p>The punch against her temple was so strong she almost felt her eyes pop.</p><p>She was knocked out cold.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>I really struggled with this chapter and had to redo it twice. I'm still not convinced but i think that's the best I can come up with.</p><p>I thank you all for the comments. It means a lot to me and motivate me to continue.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ellie felt sick the moment she opened her eyes. There was this odd grumble in her stomach, twisting her guts painfully, jusst asking for release, but she swallowed it. Her stomach was so empty, she was persuaded nothing good would come out of it. Man she was so unhealthy . Her name would probably come up if someone was ever to look for the word in the dictionary. She groaned at the pain pulsating at her temple, it was as if someone smacked her head with drumsticks over and over again in some unrhymed harmony.</p><p>''Ugh... my head...'' <br/>''Don't move, stupid. You hit your head pretty hard back there.''</p><p>The voice was so close, so familiar, she felt her heart skip a beat. She made a move to sit but a pression stopped her from doing so.</p><p>''I said don't move. Relax a bit.''</p><p>When she was finally able to blink the blurriness away, her eyes locked with the most gorgeous shade of chocolate eyes she's ever seen. The girl - Dina, she learned, and she thought it suited her so well - was studying her freckled feature with a mix of amusement and worry. Ellie slightly turned her head left and right only to see she was lying on the ground, still in the same place than before, only they were now alone, and the back of her head felt very warm and comfortable. Then the recents memories came back to her.</p><p>''Where's... I-I gotta finish it...where's... where's the motherfu--ugh'' She slurred, trying to get free of the hold on her body.</p><p>Two strong hands pushed against her shoulders and Ellie's head moved as Dina repositionned herself. It didn't take long for the green eyed teenager to understand that her head had been rested on the girl's lap. It felt comfortable and homely, and Ellie didn't want to move. It's been so long since someone has touched her that way, with so much care and gentleness she felt a pang of sadness and longing in her heart. The butterflies in her stomach has turned into a swamping bee hive when Dina smiled down at her, a smile only destined at her, and for a moment, Ellie felt carefree and giddy despite the pain assaulting her poor head. She received so much hits over the head in her short life, she wouldn't be surprised if she was permanently concussed. It would explain just how dumb she felt around the girl.</p><p>''Easy, tiger. He's gone.''<br/>''Wha-... Did I... Did I-...''</p><p>Dina let out a chuckle that made Ellie's body melt on the spot and she found herself slightly leaning against the other girl's lap. The ground was hard and cold against her back, despite the coat. But her touch felt so incredibly warm, she didn't mind much.</p><p>''No you didn't, you dork.''<br/>''Then... where...''<br/>''I did.''<br/>''How?'' She asked, astounished.</p><p>Dina's smile became one of pride.</p><p>''I'm a black belt. He didn't stand a chance to begin with.''<br/>''Oh... what happened?'' <br/>''Well, let's see. You came out of absolutely nowhere, you full body tackled that guy like you're Hulk Hogan or something, you tripped on a rock and hit the back of your head. Yep, that summarizes it.''</p><p>Ellie felt a deep wave of shame seize her body, causing her to scratch absently at the hard ground in hope of burying herself as deep as fucking possible. She scrunched her face in understanding and let the flow of fatigue run its course, muttering a low ''fuck'' under her breath. Well, no point crying about it now.</p><p>''And are you ok?''</p><p>Surprise flashed across Dina's brown eyes. </p><p>''You get punched in the face and basically loose conscience for 30 minutes and you're asking me if I'm okay?'' She laughed, shoulders twitching with the gesture, and she flick her bangs out of her eyes with that little motion of her hand that Ellie liked so much. ''You're weird. I'm Dina.''<br/>''Ellie.'' She croaked, trying to sit up and this time, Dina let her, eyeing her with cautiousness.</p><p>Nausea crept up as she sit and she exhaled with a sigh. She felt exhausted and looked at where her head had been 30 seconds ago, still feeling Dina's tights against the back of her skull, making her blush a light pink.</p><p>''My eyes are up there, perv.''<br/>''NO, that's not wha- I wasn't-'' She fumbled with her words, pink turning to a deep crimson now.</p><p>Dina cackled once more, eyes shining with joy at the girl's embarassment.</p><p>''God, I'm just kidding, Hulk.''<br/>''Don't call me that.'' Ellie deadpanned, a bit annoyed now.<br/>''Okay, Freckles then. You are the girl with the pizza, right ? I think I've seen you chill at the park once or twice.''<br/>''Yeah.'' Was all the teenager was able to blurt out, still mesmerized by every single detail of the olive skinned girl's face.</p><p>Her eyes traveled from her eyes to her nose, and to her lips, ever so slowly it became obvious she was staring. She blinked the dumb away and stood up a little awkwardly. Dina took a small step to support her in case she fell.</p><p>''Ow...'' The auburn haired girl's hand shot up to her head where she touched dried blood, and felt a medium sized cut where the fist had hit. The asshole must have been wearing a ring or something.<br/>''We need to clean that cut. Comon.'' Dina urged, handing her her backpack she had left lying near the street.</p><p>Ellie felt the girl grab at her arm.</p><p>''Where are we going?'' She asked, clueless, confusion written all over her face.<br/>''Home, dummy. I don't live far from here and we need to clean it before it gets infected. And I can't have you walking around with blood on your face like you were beaten to a pulp. Take that as a thank you for trying to save me.''</p><p>Ellie said nothing, letting herself be dragged effortlessly by the black haired beauty in front of her. Her mind was miles away from here, on its own cloud nine. Dina had talked to her. She had dragged her sorry ass to her lap and watched over her sleep. And she was now bringing her home. Ellie had always considered herself as a pretty unlucky gal, but this right here, was pure, sheer, dumb luck. Someone somewhere had wished upon a star and there she was, arm held tight by this black belt who obviously knew how to throw a punch. She let a small smile stretch her mouth upward, still a bit dazed from being unconscious for so long. Her head still hurt but somewhat, it was all worth it.</p><p>It didn't take them long to reach Dina's house. Ellie noticed there was no car parked in the drive way and all lights were out inside. She gulped at the thought of being alone with her. She often had to remind herself that it was just teenage hormones. It's not like anything would happen, she just wanted to dress her wound.</p><p>''Stop being a such a creep.'' She thought to herself hopelessly.</p><p>The interior was nothing like Ellie ever saw. Her parents and David were never big on decorations, but here, there wasn't a parcel of wall that hasn't been enhanced by plants, posters, frames and diversities of ornaments, trinckets and knickknacks. The walls of the mainroom were made of an ocean blue tapestry with waves designs on it. "Ama a tu familia" had been sticked in bright red letters and covered half of the wall. There were so much stuff and colors it almost made her dizzy just by looking at it. Dina never noticed her uneasiness, too busy removing her shoes and Ellie followed the gesture, muttering a curse when she saw her left sock had the biggest godamn hole in it.</p><p>''Hey Superman, you coming or not? Don't be shy.''</p><p>She scoffed at the thousand pet names and followed her further into the house. She passed by a stairwell decorated with small light bulbs that gave an etherial atmosphere to it that reminded her of those beautiful family house she often saw in christmas movies. They came across a blue ligneous door with a frame-like trinket on it. Inscriptions were written in hebrew but it could have been gibberish for all she cared, she didn't understand a single thing.<br/>She finally led her to a small kitchen, ardoned with so much diversity of plants they could open their owm damn shop. Upon catching the look on the taller girl's face, Dina rubbed her hands togheter, a little embarassed.</p><p>''Yeah, my mom's big on plants and decoration. She brings something almost every week. My dad's been on her ass about it for decades, but she never listen."</p><p>Ellie hummed, a bit distracted and anxious about everything there was to see. It reminded her of a friend she had when she was 9. She went to play at her house and her family was peruvian. It was so begrimed she had felt claustrophobic.</p><p>''Comon, sit. I swear you look like you just came out of a gang war.''</p><p>She obeyed, watching the other girl leave to gather something. Once she was out of sight Ellie lifted her arm and smelled her armpit. Not bad. She did wash herself this morning with a soap and rag, and she patted herself on the back for that. Dina came back with a pink rag and a bottle of alcohol Ellie stared at warily. She sat down in the chair in front of her and began working on her. The homeless teenager had a hard time not staring at her, but she was so close, and she smelled so good and the way she bit her lip in concentration- fuck!</p><p>''Why are you doing this ?'' She asked to take her mind off the gutter.<br/>''Because you helped me.'' Dina answered like it was the simplest question in the world, applying the wet rag on the dried blood to clean it.<br/>''But I hardly did anything.''<br/>''Well it's the thought that count, right ? Beside, it was pretty satisfying to see you punch his face.''<br/>''It felt pretty satisfying to punch him." Ellie parotted, hissing as she applied the alcohol.<br/>"Don't move Dwayne Johnson, I'm trying to clean your mess."<br/>''Stupid, Hulk, dummy, Superman, I have a name you know!" She poutted.<br/>"I know Ellie, I was just testing your patience." The mexican girl answered with a wry smirk.</p><p>Ellie rolled her eyes and Dina smacked her lips and sticked a band aid to the auburn haired teen's head.</p><p>''There we go. How's the back of your head? Do you want a painkiller or do you feel like you have to go to the hospital ? Do you see blurry or-"<br/>"I'm fine, no need for hospital." She cut her off a bit too quickly, lifting her hand in front of her in a stop motion. ''I'm good, just the painkillers maybe."<br/>"On it."</p><p>She fetched a big glass of water and two round white pills that Ellie eyed suspiciously. Dina chukled and gestured toward them.</p><p>"It's not speed, Ellie, just take it."</p><p>The teen rolled her eyes one more time at this dry humor and swallowed them whole with the water. She didn't know how thirsty she was before now. The cool water smoothered the walls of her parched throat and she sighed in relief. That felt good. </p><p>~Take on me<br/>Take me on<br/>I'll be gone<br/>In a day or two~</p><p>"Oh sorry, I gotta take this, it's my boyfriend. Hi Jesse."</p><p>Ellie watched her disappear in the hallway until she was out of earshot. She got up and watched herself in the mirror. Man, she looked like shit, but she did do a pretty good job at patching her up. Her skin was free of blood and the band aid she applied was a bright pink with white star and she smiled at the childish choice of her host. Looking around the kitchen sent an emotional pain to the teenager's heart. It was so homely, so inviting. This was not a house, it was a home. A family lived here. It reminded her of her parents and the pain of loosing them, now reduced to a dull ache. She felt heat prickles at the back of her eyes but she fought it back. Now was not the time. She didn't want to explain to Dina why she was sobbing like a baby on the floor.</p><p>"Sorry for that, he loses his shit if I don't answer right away'' Dina breathed, pocketing her phone.<br/>"It's okay. A-actually I should go. My...uh... dad must be waiting for me."<br/>"Oh? You live alone with your dad?"<br/>"... Yes."She lied, bottom lip twitching ever so slightly.<br/>"What about your mom?"<br/>"She.. hum, died in a c-car accident when I was young." She answered with a lump in her throat.<br/>"Oh. I'm sorry to hear that." The smaller girl really looked crestfallen for her, not even wanting to fanthom the idea of loosing a parents, "My big sister lives on her own and my parents are never there before late, but I'd hate to loose them."<br/>"Yeah" She ran an hand in her bangs, slightly disheveled. " That sucks."</p><p>There was a moment of silence and Ellie took it as her cue to leave.<br/>However a hand reached for her own and spread warmth all throughout her body.</p><p>"You know, you were really cool back there, even if you fell." Dina admitted genuinely. " You were brave and thoughtful. Few people would have done that."</p><p>Ellie shrugged.</p><p>" It's nothing."<br/>"It's not nothing. You got hurt because of me and I feel like I need to pay you back."<br/>"I didn't do that for something in return." She explaimed calmy despite the mad beating of her heart.</p><p>Dina gave her that pleading smile and the teenager just knew she had won her over and she lifted both her palms in the air.</p><p>"Fine, I surrender. What do you have in mind, Dina?"</p><p>There was something so cool about being able to say her name out loud, as if it was certifying their recent closeness. Dina bit her lip in thought and Ellie's eyes dropped down for a second.</p><p>"What about I invite you to dinner? I know a good place and you look like you could use a meal or two in your body. Don't your dad feed you?"</p><p>It was a joke, but it came too close to her reality for her liking. Ellie nervously played with her fingers.</p><p>" Yeah, s-sounds great."</p><p>Dina did a toothy smile.</p><p>"Nice, so where do I pick you up?"<br/>"Oh, I'll pick you up, don't worry about that."<br/>"You sure?"<br/>"Yeah."<br/>"Then it's settled. I'll be ready at 6. Don't be late, stranger."</p><p>She gave her a teasing wink and Ellie almost wanted to die on the spot. She waved her hand awkwardly and left the house, so much lighter and in a dream like trance.</p><p>It's been so long since she went to any normal gathering, especially with people her age. And on top of that, it was with Dina. Were they... friend? <br/>The word left a lingering nostalgy behind, of a previous life filled with laughter and mishief. Ellie had been a good kid before her life went down to shit. Happy, curious, talkative, sarcastic. She felt like a shell of her former self. <br/>Her mind was in a constant nightmare, and her body a kaleodoscope of pain. She thought the loneliness of her new life would drive her crazy before she reached adulthood.<br/>There was also the uncertainty for her future. She was a missing kid. Granted she doubted the police were still looking for her but she would still avoid police like the plague. She had no ID, no paper, no nothing. For all she knee she was no one, just a head on a soiled body. <br/>She wanted to be friend with Dina. She wanted to graps again at the pieces of a social life. But was it a good idea? She could not let her know about her. She didn't want to tell her by fear of rejection. Who wanted a fucked up friend ?</p><p>Ellie licked her lips as she walked, dry from the pent up tension. She couldn't get ahead of herself. They weren't friend. She just wanted to pay her back for that failed rescue mission, that's all. She recalled the whole ordeal in her head and cringed. She was so stupid.</p><p>"Who the fuck trips on a fucking rock..."</p><p>Oh, the self loathing came back tenfolds. She didn't like to be helped, if Dina would have let her, she'd be on her merry way already. But she didn't regret this. She had talked to the girl she's been crushing on for weeks. She wanted to get to know her, but years of social distancing had been hard on her social skills. After her parents' death, she was never the same. And it's been made even worst when David started touching her, raping her. No one had believed her.<br/>David was an important member of society. He was a priest in their local church, and if it used to bring snickers to the young girl, it has been the bane of her existence to live with him. For him, her sexuality was something to be punishable for, and she had struggled with it for the longest time. He made her hate herself, hate her body and he made her realize just how much hatred was a poweful tool. There was nothing in this world she hated more than him. He ripped her from her confidence, from her girlhood and from a future. She was completely stuck and in such a state of depression she felt like there was no way out of this.</p><p>There's day she just wanted to die. The pain was too sharp and the lonelines too suffocating.</p><p>And then, there was Dina. Something about the girl was igniting her fire back to life, was giving her hope. She knew it was stupid. But she wanted to see her again. She didn't care for more, being her friend was enough. Beside, she was not even gay, she had a boyfriend. A very lucky one at that. He made her smile and laugh, more than she could ever do. She was far too broken for that.</p><p>As she lay on a bench, she found herself looking at the stars for far too much time. Her head rested on her hand at the back of her skull, one knee was pointing to the sky. She lost herself in the view, vaguely remembering a time where she wished to be an astronaut. When she was still hopeful and full of dreams. Stupid, unreal dreams, if you asked her about it now.</p><p>The bench felt hard against her body and she closed her eyes, heart sinking at the pit of her stomach. She just needed to sleep it off. Tomorrow would be better.</p><p>-----------------</p><p>She was jerked awake by a touch. Her first instinct was to reach for her knife, but she forgot she had put it in her bag. She looked up at the owner of the arm, hoping the daggers in her eyes would be enough to scare him off.</p><p>Hard but soft hazel eyes gazed down at her, with nothing but worry in them. An unkept beard over thin lips and thin strands of black and grey hair billowed over a tired face.</p><p>''You again.'' She simply said, backing away from his unwelcomed touch. "The shop is not open yet, come back later."</p><p>She wanted to joke, but the look on his face was serious. If she was to be really honest with herself, she didn't really feel threatened by this man. He was tall with broad shoulders, but he had that thing going on with him. There was something in his eyes that wasn't frightening, but inviting. But he didn't seem to want to leave her alone.</p><p>"Kiddo..." he said, not finding his words.</p><p>His voice was warm, it reminded her of her own father. Ellie could only imagine it was hard for him to see such a small girl out on her own.<br/>A part of her just felt ashamed he found her sleeping on a stupid bench like a homeless drug addict.</p><p>"Come with me." He ordered softly, standing up.</p><p>The teenager let out a dry chukle.</p><p>" If you think I'll folllow you anywhere old man, then you're senile."</p><p>The man shook his head, frowning just a bit at her with confusion.</p><p>"I'm payin' you breakfast."<br/>"Yeah sure." She snorted arrogantly." I'm not hungry."<br/>"Aren'tcha, though?"</p><p>Ellie was shamelessly lying. Her stomach was in painful knot, energy had left her long ago. She did not want to spend the few dollars she had on this. And here he was, proposing her food. Her survival instinct told her to accept, but the pieces left of her pride wanted to show him the finger. She grumbled something under her breath.</p><p>"What?"<br/>"I said fine! But I'm choosing the place."</p><p>An hesitant small smile made its way onto his lips, seemingly content with her answer.</p><p>"Let's get some food in you."</p><p>He was weird, she decided. She has been ignored by people for the longest time, why was he different? She was nothing but a scrawny kid among so much others in this shithole of a city. But he wanted to make sure she eats, and that thought alone lessened the tension in her shoulders, only slightly.</p><p>For all it was worth, he didn't bother too much. She chose the same dinner she met him last time, because she loved the vibe and the smell of flowers and bacon in the air. She threw her bag and sat unceremoniously in the booth, in a perfect teenager way that made the older man smile in amusement and nostalgy.</p><p>She picked up the menu, trying her best to ignore the fatherly stare of the stranger. She pushed away all feelings of belonging it brought her, refusing to go down that path.</p><p>"So, I'll take the most expensive thing, that alright with you?" She challenged him, almost hoping he'd back down.<br/>"Go ahead." He nodded without a trace of hesitation.</p><p>She frowned and made her choice while he himself ordered another coffee for himself.</p><p>"So?" She started to break the awkward silence. " Do you have a name or should I continue to call you old man? 'Cause I'm totally okay with that too."<br/>"Joel. Joel Miller. And you?"<br/>"Ellie. I'm telling you just so you stop calling me kiddo."<br/>"Smartass." He smiled against his mug.<br/>"And proud to be." She mimicked his grin.</p><p>He knew he shouldn't be surprised, but his eyes actually grew in size when he saw her order. She had 4 pieces of sliced buttered brown bread, scrambled eggs, a plate of 3 crepes with oozing maple syrup and warm, round blueberries thrown randomly all over it. On another plate sat 2 big sausages and potatoes on the side. And to top it all, the biggest ass strawberries milkshake he had ever seen. Even the middle aged waitress shot them a questioning look, but didn't say anything as she walked away.</p><p>"You gonna eat all that?" He gestured towards the food.</p><p>She shrugged in response, already digging her way throught the food. She was so hungry her mouth watered at the smell of bacon, eggs and pancakes. She haven't seen so much food in front of her in so long she almost cried. She blinked away the tears and munched down on the toast like her life depended on it. Which it kind of did.</p><p>Joel looked at her with something in his eyes she couldn't replace, but he seemed to be thinking.</p><p>"You seem hungry."<br/>"It's 'cause I was. Food's hard to get by. Why, you regret already?"<br/>"Nope. Just statin' the obvious."<br/>"I guess this is the moment where I'm supposing to thank you."</p><p>The man crossed his large arms, leaning casually on the back of the booth. He wore a brown and gray flannel that stopped mid arms, showing a fair share of muscles and hair that reminded her once more of her own dad.</p><p>"Just keep on eatin', that's thanks enough for me."<br/>"Why are you doing this?"</p><p>Sensing the serious tone, he stared straight at her. The teenage girl was leering at him with a look he had see before in the eyes of scared does, back in his hunting days. He knew he needed to choose his words carefully, but he was never an eloquent man.<br/>He stroked his beard, eyes darting to the side in uneasiness. The tension between them could be cut with a child's scissor and he was aware of the questions in her stare.<br/>Licking his lips and taking few more seconds to put orders in his thoughts, he began:</p><p>" I... I know who you are."</p><p>She seemed confused for a minute, but then it quickly vanished as it turned to fear. She gripped her fork so hard her knukles became paled.</p><p>"What?" She breathed out, eyes darting to the exit door, trying to guess if she could run there without him catching her.</p><p>Her furrowed brow betrayed her apparent anxiety that tightened her chest and sent shivers down her spine like a creeping venomous snake. She became restless as the hair on her arms stood up.</p><p>This was a bad idea. She shouldn't have come here. She have to skip town, to disappear for a while, to cut her hair, bleach them, whatever it took to just fucking disappear off the damn planet.</p><p>Joel must have sensed her stress because he leaned forward, placing his big hand near hers, conscious he shouldn't touch her in this condition.</p><p>"Ellie." </p><p>She fell back into reality and examined his face, her breathing too labored to talk but at least she was listening.</p><p>"I know who you are, Ellie Williams" He muttered that last part." But don't worry. I will not bring the police into this."<br/>"I don't believe you."</p><p>Her voice was sharper than knife, words barely above a whisper, hissed throught clenched teeth. Her stomach knotted itself anxiously, hunger suddenly gone. Her eyes were dark and gazed over, as if exhaustion had taken a particular toll on the girl's mind. Joel rolled his shoulders and cleared his throat. He really had to be careful with it.</p><p>"I could have called weeks ago, but I didn't."<br/>"Yeah, sure. What tells me you aren't gonna do this now?"</p><p>Her words were laced with venom, body at the ready to bolt at the slightest mischap of the man. Joek took a moment to look around, making sure no one was listening and he took a sip of his coffee to calm his own nerves.</p><p>"Kids who run away from someone or something aren't happy kids. Happy kids doesn't run. You don't wanna go back home, and I can understand that."<br/>" You have no idea what you are talking about." Ellie growled in a deep, low voice that made her sound older and raspier, pain and panic flashing in her eyes clear as day.</p><p>"Look here kiddo." His stance changed, bringing his body closer to the table and locking eyes with her. " I want to help you. You're a kid for Christ's sake. I can't go on with my damn life knowing you are out there waitin' to get assaulted or sum'thing. I will not call the police. I'm just askin' you to let me help."</p><p>His eyes were truthful, voice stern but soothing at the same time. He used the same tone her dad has used to make her understand something important. They were so much alike it terrified her to the core.</p><p>"I don't get you."<br/>" Ellie-"<br/>" No! You don't get to come to me and ask for that! You have no idea what I've been throught!"</p><p>She cut her sentence short, noticing she had been raising her voice a tad too loud. She fisted her hands and looked down at the table, confidence wavering.</p><p>"No. I don't."<br/>"See? You can't-"<br/>"I still want to help you. Look kid, there's some really bad people out here."<br/>"And what tells me you're not one of them, uh?"</p><p>He leaned back with a sigh, running his hand in his shortened hair. This kid was so stubborn, like he wouldn't believe. But it was also a quality he shared with her.</p><p>"Do I look like a bad person?" He asked, a bit tired at having to deal with it.<br/>"He didn't look like one either." She answered calmly, looking straight at him with a maturity that surprised him.</p><p>It was the look of someone who had lost everything. He knew that look by heart, for he had wore it himself for a long while. Her green eyes was darkened by black bags under them, hardened by the rugged life she was living.</p><p>"Come at least in my shed. You don't want help, fine, I get it. But at least I'll know you're safe every night and not lyin' around dead or sum'thing. It can be a good place, I can bring a heater, and a new mattress, and -"<br/>"I'll think about it."</p><p>Ellie stood up from the booth, leaving behind all the foods and the milkshake half consumed. She wasn't hungry anymore, and she now had a lot on her mind.<br/>She walked past him, barely stopping to cast him an head to toe glance.</p><p>"Your watch is broken." She croaked, stomping away.</p><p>He let out a short laught.</p><p>" Yeah. I know."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dina touched me.<br/>Dina looked at me.<br/>Dina talked to me and fuck, I think I'm in love.</p><p>I don't know what happened. One minute I was fighting that guy and the next I was sprawled on her lap with blood on my face and looking like shit.<br/>She said I tripped over a rock and fell and I swear to every God on this earth, it was embarassing. It was the lamest of the lames, pueril and oh gosh it was stupid.<br/>I just tripped and fell like an idiot . I can only imagine all the things that ran throught her head at that moment.<br/>She must think I'm an imbecile.<br/>But despite my failed attempt at saving her, she still felt the need to thank me and invited me to dinner. I am going to eat with her. Alone. On a date.<br/>I know it's not a date, but I like calling it like that. It feels warm and revigorating.<br/>I can allow myself a little bit of fantasy, right ? It's not like we are going to hang out ever again after that. Once the meal is over she will push me away. She has no need for me around her. I'm just a clumsy idiot who trips on small rocks. I wouldn't even hang out with myself.</p><p>Ellie paused her written infliction of self loath and depreciation, mindlessly munching on the already badly tortured end of her pen, plastic bent in a way only teeth could accomplish. The scene now tattooed in her head felt distorded, like a puzzle with too much of its pieces missing. Maybe it had been the blow to her head or the lack of oxygen when Dina's eyes had taken her breath away, but she felt forgetful. She really wanted to put on paper each detail of her encounter with the girl, as cringy as it was. She couldn't remember what they had talked about, it had felt like a dream, or a distant memory.<br/>She did however remember her calculated touch as she worked on her injury, pinkie barely grazing over the line scarring her brow. She was so close, her hot breath on her skin have been like the caress of a flame, comforting yet dangerous.</p><p>Pen tapped lightly on the paper in an imaginary cadence, a flow only her knew. But then, there was something else.</p><p>I met someone else, today. The man who owns the shed I slept in for a few weeks. I used to crawl out every morning to avoid him, but now it's like the universe wanted me to meet him. His name is Joel Miller and I met him once at a dinner and a second time in the street. He invited me for breakfast and I know it's because he pities me. I fucking hate it.<br/>Also he knows who the fuck I am. Great, right ? He knows I'm Ellie Fucking Williams. That fucking drama queen who ran away from home.<br/>He said he wanted to help me and I swear, a part of me wants to believe him and go sleep in his damn shed. It'd be safe and warm.<br/>But the darkest part of me is so scared of being hurt again. How can I trust him when I can't even trust a member of my own blood?</p><p>I need to think things over.</p><p>The redhead parted her lips in a soft sigh, head hanging back a bit to watch the patchwork of fluffy clouds hovering in the sky. It was still pretty early, and there was still many hours left before she had to go fetch Dina. At least she wouldn't have to find an excuse as to why she wore the same clothes since she didn't see it yesterday because of her coat.</p><p>A part of her really hoped they could be friends, and a part of her thought that would be too much trouble to lie her way into a friendship. Dina was not to be made aware of her condition under any circonstances, and it was a fact that Ellie had screwed in her brain as soon as she first spotted her. She needed to be careful with everything and she'd lie if she said it was not rendering her nervous.</p><p>And she still needed to buy another damned book to write in since this one was nearing his premises. She closed it swiftly and put it back in her bag, slowly considering her options. She still had many hours left before the get-togheter.<br/>She could sit by the subway and sing a few songs for well earned money. Or maybe walk downtown and have a small chat with Abby and Lev. Man, it's been so long since she last saw these two dorks.<br/>Or maybe spend a bit of coins on a computer session at a cafe. She could look for a quick job or take a nap. Or she could also kill herself and be done with it.</p><p>Ellie shook her head in dismissal and stretched her long legs clad in dark jeans torn at the knees before heading toward a small coffee that offered two hours of internet for five dollars if you bhought something. She ordered a sweet, creamy coffee to fight off the constant fatigue and winced when the hot liquid made contact with her tongue. This coffee tasted like burned shit alright. Gosh she hated paying for something so disgusting, but it kept her warm and as much as she didn't want to admit it, it fueled the nagging temper of her caffeine addiction.<br/>Her eyes searches for the screen, slowly taking another smaller sip. She stayed away from social media. She didn't need to have her name and face all over the internet for everyone to find her.<br/>She'd rather spend her time on youtube and play dumb games, if only to numb her mind off negative thoughts.</p><p>After a while her eyes would glaze over, clicking away on the mouse in a repetitive motion as she played something distracting, finding herself longing for this moment of remembrance, and suddenly she was homesick. She loved coming home from school, kicking her shoes off in places she knew she would get lectured for and stomping up the stairs to play on some stupid RPG with friends. She would often bring a coca or a bag of chips and spend hours typing away her time.</p><p>Ellie smiled a bit at the reminescence, and as painful as it was, it didn't stop her from being content with the feelings it brought. </p><p>The two hours passed too quickly and as much as she wanted to continue to play, she couldn't afford this luxury any longer. Still few hours before she had to meet with Dina, and the anxiety came back full force with its annoying habit of overthinking everything. What if Dina found her annoying? What if she made a fool of herself again? What if she changed her mind ? So much thoughts twirled around in her head like in the core of a tornado, it was nearly impossible to stop them.</p><p>She always felt out of place, wherever she went. A feeling she often attributed to her sense of depreciation. How could she love herself when no one had it in them to love her back ? That part deep inside her wanted to run away as possible and forget about Joel and Dina. She didn't want to get hurt again, to have her patched up heart handed back to her shattered and torn. There was only so much her body, heart and head could endure. She was not strong at all. She was not the rock, but the pitiful patch of grass on the ground, sensible to every element and threatened to be stepped on any minute now.</p><p>There was also this part that craved normalcy and intimity. She wanted to get closer to another human being, to reach without being scared, to speak her mind without barrier. She was a teenager for crying out loud. She should be partying and studying her ass off. Not... whatever she was doing right now.</p><p>Time flew, and before she knew it, she was in front of the well decorated house, her fist centimeters only from the door.</p><p>She was hesitating. What if all of this was a bad idea ? Entertaining any kind of relationship right now was risky. She could not blow her cover. Should she leave now, while Dina still think she's an half baked hero, or continue with this charade and leave when Dina discovers she's nothing but a trashy, homeless kid?</p><p>She pondered the question too long, because the girl made the decision for her by opening the door, cracking a teasing smile at the hesitant redhead.</p><p>"What the hell are you doing, dork ?"<br/>"I was... uh..."<br/>"Yeah sure, come inside, I'm almost ready. Just, sit on the couch or something."</p><p>Ellie stepped inside, feeling like an accidental patch of paint on a white wall. The house smelled like chili, a spicy, homely scent that sent a pang of pain into Ellie's empty gut. The house was alit with life. The TV was on, playing some comedy movie for no one in particular since two of its member were in the kitchen, and the other one upstairs getting ready.<br/>Ellie shyly made her way to the couch, sitting down on it tentatively.. Sweet humming came from the kitchen, interrupted by a spark of male-ish laughter.</p><p>" So you're Ellie, is that it ?"</p><p>The teenager turned around and spotted the silhouette of who seemed to be Dina's father, tall and broad shouldered. A large belly stood out under a white shirt with an untied red tie, like he just got off work. He had a round face with slim glasses and he radiated gentleness. He kind of gave her a Santa Claus vibe, as stupid as it sounded.</p><p>"Uh, yeah that's me." Ellie answered politely, struggling as she did so.</p><p>She took his hand. His hold was strong but affable, it made her feel welcomed.</p><p>"We heard about you, how you tried to save our daughter and fell on a rock." He laughed wholeheartedly, and Ellie looked down in shame, playing with her fingers.</p><p>How was she supposed to move past it if everyone reminded her of this stupid mistake?</p><p>Seeing as she didn't answer, the large man put an hand on her shoulder and she flinched and it took everything in her power not to panic and yell at the man.</p><p>"It was still a brave thing to do. Fortunately our little girl knows how to handle herself. I swear, she gets too much attention. I'm Robin, by the way. Know that you will always be welcome here, dear."</p><p>Okay, it was definitely weird now. She shot him an awkward smile and breathed in relief when he let go of her bony shoulder.</p><p>"Dad, leave her alone." Groaned Dina, hastily walking down the stairs in skinny jeans and white button up.</p><p>God, she was gorgeous. This made Ellie feel extremely self conscious and she brushed her bangs out of her face.</p><p>"Hey." She said, standing up a bit awkwardly, feeling like a newborn in a pack of wolves.<br/>"Hey, you." Dina mused, taking her by the arm and grabbing her own coat. "Let's go before my dad embarasses you any further."</p><p>They stepped out of the house and Dina let out an annoyed sigh</p><p>"Sorry about that. He can be an handful at times."<br/>"It's okay."</p><p>They started to walk toward the restaurant and Ellie could only think about eating real, cooked food. She basically lived off junks and muffins nowadays.</p><p>Dina talked a lot on the way, so much Ellie could barely place one word. But she'd been told before she was a good at listening and beside, there wasn't much she wanted to say about herself anyway. She desired to learn more about that black haired beauty</p><p>"How's your head, by the way?"</p><p>Ellie's hand touched the bandaid that had rested unmoving on her head. Truth to be told, she almost forgot about it.</p><p>"It's fine. I'm good."<br/>"Did your dad freak out?"</p><p>She shied her eyes away from the girl, memories of her long dead father flooding her like in waves. It felt weird to talk about her dad like that, but at least she would be able to tell half truth.</p><p>"Yeah. He was... I mean, he's quite protective. Had to lie to him, though. Can't tell him his daughter tripped on a rock, uh." She tried to be funny, but her words felt hollow to her own ears.</p><p>However, it did succeed in making Dina laught, and Ellie genuinely thought she made the cutest sound in the world.</p><p>"I know how it is. Once, when I was 10, I told my mom I was going to the movies with Jesse and when I got home she cried all over me, telling me how worried she was."<br/>" Ish. That's... a whole new level."<br/>"It is, right ?? That's what I told my sister!" She replied in a snikerish grin.</p><p>For the first time in a long time, Ellie felt herself relax a bit. Dina was really receptive to her, even with her distant or short answers. She was like a balm on her wounds, washing away the pain and the worries, and Ellie really wanted to be a teenager again.</p><p>Even if it's for one night.</p><p>"So, this Jesse... is he, like, your boyfriend?" Ellie asked cautiously.<br/>"Yes." She answered immediatly, crushing all of Ellie's hope in a heartbeat. " But he's also my childhood best friend. You'll love him."</p><p>Ellie blinked.</p><p>" What do you mean, I'll love him?<br/>"Oh, I invited him. I hope it's okay? He really wanted to see the girl who tripped on a rock."<br/>"Can we move past that now ?" Ellie groaned, growing tired of being reminded that she was a fuck up.</p><p>The pretty girl's hand came in contact with her arm, brushing softly against it. Ellie turned her head toward the apologetic smile she was given.</p><p>"I'm sorry if I made you feel stupid, Ellie. This was not my attention. I truly am glad you came to help me. It was really brave and I feel bad you got hurt because of this."</p><p>Her words were so genuine, Ellie felt kind of stupid for being upset over this. It really was funny, in a sense, to see someone trips over a rock in a rescue mission. Thing is, she still had a pride, however beaten as it was right now.<br/>She shook her head and waved her hand.</p><p>"It's okay, I... It was funny. In a way." She admitted.</p><p>Dina beamed at her and took her hand to walk faster. Ellie's heart skipped a beat at the contact and she was sure Dina could feel how clammy and sweaty her hand had become. She felt gross all over.</p><p>The restaurant she was leading her to came into view and Ellie gawked at it. The place was enormous and fancy. Well, it was not one of those 5 stars restaurants but it was flashy enough to know that they would never let her sleep in a booth. Ellie has often walked in front of it, stopping everytime to bath in the food's scent coming from it. The place was always packed with families, couples and groups of friends. Ellie furrowed her brows.</p><p>"Is there even any place left ?"<br/>"Jesse's keeping our place warm with his big butt."</p><p>The comment brought an amused smile on the redhead face and they walked inside. Ellie's gut churned with excitation at the sight of the tables, of the food, of all the people. It's been so long since she went eating with a friend she could not wipe the smile off her face.</p><p>"Dina!" Called out a very boyish voice.</p><p>Taking her hand once more, Dina led her to one of the very first booth, near the windows. The restaurant was very warm and filled with the sound of conversations and some random 90s song playing on the radio that Ellie could not recall even if she heard it before.</p><p>"Hey, took you long enough. « </p><p>Dina rolled her eyes playfully and sat next to him while Ellie sat in front them with the gut feeling she was going to be interrogated like a criminal.</p><p>Jesse shared a quick kiss with his girlfriend and Ellie took a moment to look at him. He was that tall asian guy from the other day, broad shouldered, flat faced with long wavy hair giving him a rugged look. Not bad looking, even for a lesbian as herself. His voice was mature and warm like milk. He had a vibe of friendly confidence around him that made her relax a little bit.</p><p>"So you're Ellie." He started, holding out his fist. " I'm Jesse, Dina's best friend and best boy. Nice to meet you."<br/>"Same." She simply answered, slowly fist bumping him.</p><p>God she felt weird. She was totally third wheeling this rendezvous. She was a stranger compared to them. She looked down and started to fimble with her fingers when Jesse started talking again.</p><p>"So, Dina told me about what happened yesterday. You're quite the hero."</p><p>He talked about it so non chalently Ellie found herself smile despite her hurt pride.</p><p>" And you wanted to see the girl who tripped over a rock." Dina winced at the redhead’s words.</p><p>He chuckled very lightly.</p><p>"If it makes you feel any better, Dina had been talking my ear off about how cool you looked back there."</p><p>The said girl guffed in offense.</p><p>" I did not !"<br/>" Yes, D, yes, you totally did! Oh Jesse, she was soooooo cool! She fell, but like, in a totally cool way! And she was so hawt, like, and cool, and super hot, and super coo-"<br/>"Okay, that's it you idiot! Shut up! I never said that!" Dina groaned, but with a toothy grin on her face.</p><p>Ellie let her heart heat up at the display of friendship and a small smile made its way onto her freckled face. She was socializing. She was talking and eating with people. This was not something new to her, but something she's been craving for so long, like a first gulp of water after a long trail in the desert.</p><p>"You guys seems... uh... good, togheter?</p><p>Real smooth, Ellie. Very eloquent.</p><p>Don't fucking fuck this up.</p><p>The asian guy side hugged the black haired teenager with a cocky smile.</p><p>"She's been my best friend for as long as I can remember. She was there when I learned to ride a bike, and I was there when her last baby tooth fell off. Should have seen her cry.<br/>"Okay, so Ellie, feel free to take anything, it's on me." Dina interrupted without a glance for the boy.<br/>"What about me? "<br/>"You pay for yourself, handsome."</p><p>Ellie shook her head with a small smile and looked at the menu. Everything seemed so good and it was hard to wrap her mind around the idea of finally being allowed real food.</p><p>She watched as the two teenagers scanned over their menus, chatting eagerly of past memories and future plans. Ellie was trying to concentrate on her own menu but they were pretty distracting. She watched as Jesse shoved Dina off his lap, and she reliatated with a slap on his big arm. They were pretty cute, she had to admit. It pained her to see the girl she was pinning for like that, but even if she was single AND gay, there was no way she would have eyes for her. She'd seen hundreds of pretty girls in the girl's school only. She was far, far behind on this.</p><p>" Did you pick something?"</p><p>Ellie looked up to bath in the sight of her crush, gazing at her with those big, round eyes she grew to love. A smile was plastered over her face like it was sculpted there. It got the runaway teenager all nervous.</p><p>"Y-yeah, I'-I'll take the, uh, steak with the french fries, the chili soup and a glass of coca. I-if that's okay with you." She stammered, a lightning of excitation running throught her body at the idea of quality food.</p><p>"My, someone has quite an appetite today." Dina teased, making her blush slightly.<br/>"Playing hero made me hungry." Ellie shrugged, her own joke sounding stupid even in her own ears. How could anyone find her funny? She couldn't fuck this up.<br/>"At least someone is appreciative. She barely says thanks when I invite her." Jesse chuckled when Dina shot him THE glance.<br/>"Oh oh. That's the look guys get when they are going to sleep on the couch."</p><p>There was a moment of silence, an excrutiating long moment of quiet where the two friends stared at Ellie like she had said something out of line. The teenager slapped herself mentally for pushing the limit.<br/>She was about to bolt out of the place when both Jesse and Dina exploded in laughter.</p><p>"You're so funny, Ellie. I like you. I think you will fit in just fine." Dina articulated, unshed tears at the corner of her eyes from her session of laughters.</p><p>Ellie relaxed her shoulders, feeling warm enough under the flannel she was wearing. She let her worries float away, far from the restaurant. She needed to enjoy this moment. She used to be quite popular at school, she had lot of friends, she needed to find that old Ellie who was hidding behind her walls. She needed to come out.<br/>Straightening her back, she was about to retort when the waitress came to take their orders. She joked a bit with the two teenagers, who seemed to be regular around these parts. The waitress scribbled their orders and walked away.</p><p>"I can see it's not the first time you come here."<br/>"We used to come every friday, me, Dina, Cat and another guy who moved to Florida. Lucky son of a bitch." Jesse said against his glass of iced water.<br/>"You never been to Florida?"<br/>"Nope. You?"<br/>"Once, when I was 7. With, uh, my parents. It's been a long time ago but I remember it well. Beautiful place. Lot of snobs though." Ellie said, looking back at that week she had spent in the hot weather of Miami. It had been a great week, and her mother had been wanting to come back ever since.</p><p>Too bad she died.</p><p>"How'd you get that scar?"</p><p>Suddenly aware that Dina had asked her a question, Ellie fidgeted in her seat.</p><p>"What scar?" She played dumb.<br/>"Duh, the one on your eyebrow? It's okay if you don't wanna tell. I just think it looks really hot."</p><p>Dina's straighforwardess was like a slap on her face, and her cheeks burned with a rush of blood. She hisses, reaching to rub her neck.</p><p>"I, uh, got it in a fight." She answered, sparing her the details.<br/>"Can I touch it?"<br/>"Dina, seriously?" Chiped Jesse with an eye roll. " You barely know the girl, let her breath."<br/>"It's just a question! "<br/>"I swear sometimes D you are just too direct ! You don't touch people's scars, it's weird."<br/>"It's not weird." She snorted, arms crossed. "Not my fault if I'm into scars. You should get one... wait, no, don't, what the fuck am I say-"<br/>"You can touch it."</p><p>Her voice has been so low and soft, it was almost a whisper. The two teenager stopped their banter and looked at her, dumbfounded. Jesse knit his eyebrows.</p><p>"It's okay Ellie, you don't have to do that."<br/>"It doesn't bother me." She continued with a convinced smile.</p><p>Truth to be told, she hated that scar. It was a painful, constant reminder of David. A trophy sewn across her face. It was his mark, his symbol.<br/>She hated it with all her heart. She hoped that maybe if Dina touched it, with all her beauty and innocence, it could cure a bit of this hate. Maybe. Like a healing touch.<br/>Dina turned to Jesse to give him a proud smile and leaned across the table under the watchful gaze of the asian boy. She stretched her left hand and slowly, carefully, her thumb came in contact with the pink scar barely hidden under thick eyebrow hair. The touch felt agonizinly good, and Ellie just wanted to lean into her touch and close her eyes. The skin burned where she had been touched, as if God himself had layed his finger on her face.</p><p>"This is so cool." Dina said seductively, which made the redhead gulp.<br/>"Okay Dina, that's enough. Sorry about that El, she got dropped as a baby."<br/>"It's okay." She croaked with difficulties, mouth dry from the emotional exercice she had been faced with.</p><p>When Dina retired, her own hand went to touch the scar as it to make sure it was still there. The feeling of the olive skinned girl's touch lingered on her like a sunburn.</p><p>It was not a bad feeling at all.</p><p>It didn't take long for their meals to arrive and she found herself digging in as soon as the young waitress had put the plates in front of her. Dina and Jesse had both ordered a big ass piece of burger, pickleless for Jesse, as he said it tasted like shit. <br/>Ellie's eyes itched with hidden tears as she munched on a first bite of juicy, well done steak. It reminded her of the countless steakhouses her dad used to bring her to, and fuck did it taste wonderful.</p><p>Jeswqsse and Dina were engrossed in some big conversation about a movie she didn't see. She was just listening to Dina's voice, and how well it echooed against her ear drums. She sounded sweet and spicy, yet when she whispered, it sounded like honey and ice cream. </p><p>Her plate was empty, and so was those of the two lovebirds sitting in front of her. She knew their hangout was coming to an end, but she couldn't find it in herself to find a subject of conversation entertaining enough to keep it going.<br/>She heard her name being called and she looked up to see both Jesse and Dina trying to stirr her out of her day dream.</p><p>"Uh?"<br/>"We asked which school you were going to." Jesse repeated, hand rubbing a red mark on his arm where his girlfriend had slapped him a few seconds ago.<br/>"Oh, uh..." Think fast. "The one down Preston Street." She couldn't remember the name even if she had walked past it hundred of times.<br/>"Oh yeah, I know this one. It's a good school, I didn't see you as the type." Dina's eyebrow shot in the air as she took in the weird girl's apparence.</p><p>Ellie felt anxiety crept up in her stomach like acid.</p><p>"Wh-what do you mean?" She stammered, actually scared of being answered.</p><p>The girl and boy shared a confused look.</p><p>"Well it's a private school, for one. And also, it's kind of like a genius school?"<br/>"Yeah, only the smartest of the smartest are invited. My, Ellie, aside from that good look, you got some brain going on for you." Dina shot her a seductive smile, silently sipping on her iced tea with a pink straw.</p><p>Ellie's brain fried at that moment, her face as emotionless and blank as a rock. Her heart was beating so fast she felt it in her forehead, but she just froze there, staring hard at them with her canopy green eyes.</p><p>Holy mother of fuck. Of all the damm schools of this damn town, she had to choose this one, uh?</p><p>She was in deep shit.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi guys.</p><p>I need to put a warning here. The following chapter has mentions of pedophilia and homophobia.</p><p>So if this kind of things puts you off, you can skip it. And go directly at the end of the David's part.</p><p>I want to show here that David isn't just some mindless villian. I hope portrayed it well.</p><p>Also, I know shit about religion. So bear with me for any mistake I could have made.</p><p>Enjoy your reading. Let me know if you want longer chapters, they always seems kinda short to me.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>David had always loved his whiskey in the evening. Everyday at six, he would settle down on his favorite couch, reach for his Jameson Irish, pour an healthy amount of it in a fist sized glass and lean back to savour the burning pleasure rippling down his throat.</p><p>Being a priest was not as easy as most would think. He always said that it was exhausting for him, even after all these years, to guide people toward the Light of God. Most of them did not even deserve his attention that he was comitted to give. Subjects came every day in handful, asking for forgiveness for their sins.<br/>
And do it all over again the following week, thinking it was okay as long as they felt sorry for their unholy actions.</p><p>He didn't think so.</p><p>He cringed as he remembered the past few days. A mother of four came to his confessional, crying all the tears her body had been able to produce, over the sin of her youngest. She had cried and cried, for God to pardon his deviance and attraction to his own gender. David had listened with attention, but himself could barely hold onto his own collected mask. She had asked for advice, and he actually had to take a minute to answer carefully. A priest was to hate no one, and he could not let his own emotions take over.</p><p>He had shown her the way, told her about special homes for the underserving. He told her to pray for her son.</p><p>But in reality, they were nothing but fools.</p><p>Only his touch could cure the disease the Devil had cursed upon this world. Only his godly words had the power to cure the soul. He truly believed men and women were meant to be togheter, a truth his father and grand father had screwed into his skull long before he could pray for himself.<br/>
But they had been foolish in their devotion, for he alone had been promised the Grace of God. He was given a power, a power to change what could not be.</p><p>His little rabbit had been a challenge for him. She had come into his life, and she was nothing but a tiny little thing that loved to drive her parents crazy.<br/>
He truly had loved the girl. She was the mirror of his brother. Long, auburn hair and eyes the color of leaves in the dead of summer. Her eyes had left him troubled, had awoken a gut wrenching desire that wasn't supposed to be.</p><p>He had prayed his Savior to save him from those feelings. Oh, had he prayed. He had spent so much time on his knees, they had started to bleed. He had prayed so much, he did not sleep for three days.</p><p>And the answer had come to him in the shape of a figureless silhouette in his dreams. God had talked to him, had showed him the way.</p><p>He knew what he had to do. His Savior had whispered in his ear, like a mother would her helpless child. David had thanked him for his blessing. He had faith in his wisdom.</p><p>Things always happened for a reason.</p><p>So when he heard the news about the car accident that has taken both his brother and his wife's lives, he immediatly prayed over the soul of his brother, pleading for God to accept him into his home despite his corrupted child. He could not care less about the wife, for she was a wrench in his eyes. A sarcastic, stubborn, vulgar whore burning in the flames of Hell for all of eternity.</p><p>It has barely been a few days when the idea of taking the kid had been given to him by a social worker. David was a priest and well off. Money was no problem for him, and he was an important member of society. For them, it was only logical that he would be able to tend to his niece.</p><p>He had hesitated at first, for fear of loosing control of his animalistic urges. But God's words were still so vivid in his memory, like he had been standing next to him, whispering soothing words in his ear.</p><p>He had accepted the child in his home.</p><p>She was barely 12, so small and skinny. So fragile, he sensed he could snap her like a twig if he wanted to. Her lips were luscious, almost shinning. He would follow the curve of her mouth when she talked or licked her lips. Sometime, when she was nervous, she would bite down on it and a lightning of arousal would irridiate a burning pain in his gut down to his pelvis.</p><p>But he had faith in his Savior. He had to save her from the impious deviance. And only his touch was able to do so.</p><p>The girl was nothing but a shadow of her former self. She had been easy to manipulate. Her mind had been weakened by the horrible loss of the people she loved the most. She was still so naive, to hold onto the only member of her family left.</p><p>Yes, it had been to easy to lure her in. She was like a little rabbit, hobbling around in supposed freedom, but always under the watchful eyes of the sly fox.</p><p>At first, it was small touches, to let her acclimate to him. She had bore him weird glances, but had shrugged it off in a childlike innocence.</p><p>His fingers would burst into flame everytime it made contact with her smooth skin. He first thought it was some kind of punishment, but he had discovered he didn't dislike the effect she had on him. She was like a prized gif, offered to him on a silver platter. And he did loved the gif.</p><p>The first night he took her as his, the shy rabbit has turned into raging jaguar, clawing at him with a fury only the Devil could conjure. It was good, he had told himself with glee. It was the Devil trying to resist his grasp. It only fueled his faith and desires further.</p><p>He loved her and he wanted her to be free of this curse that has been placed upon her. <br/>
It took much, much patience for him to bless her of his knowledge and holiness.</p><p>He had taken her entirely, prayed for The Demon to leave the poor child alone. To free her of this anomaly. But it didn't work. </p><p>Of course, the child had played blabbermouth, telling to whoever wanted to hear what David The Priest had done to her.</p><p>David laughed softly against his glass. Of course, no one had believed her, for he was The Savior's Hand. He had the healing touch, and he was determined to free her, no matter how many time he had to hit her for this.</p><p>It had taken actually a few months to tame the beast. And every night, he continued to pray for her soul to be delivered to Him, supplied to let her join Heaven with her father.</p><p>But his patience has thinnied.</p><p>He licked his lips to catch one stray drop from his drink, reminded of her eyes full of fear and pain when he had slashed her eyebrow open.</p><p>It hadn't been for the Lord. He had done it of his own conscent, for him and his lust. He had wanted to impose his mark, a constant reminder of his presence.</p><p>He had been actually surprised when one morning, he didn't find her in her room.<br/>
The windows had been left open, red drapes softly dancing in a cool breeze.<br/>
Of course, he had called the police. Her friends. Checked the neighborhood with a fury that he did not experienced often, and yet, he had to stay put. Control that beast about to explode in his body. He needed to find her. It was his mission to make her pure. It was what God wanted.</p><p>Oh, he was going to find her alright. And she was going to be purified.</p><p> </p><p>-------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>This was a bad idea.</p><p>September had always been her least favorite month. The sky was gray, the air was cold and people were grumpy. It meant summer was over and school had started again, giving most parents a well deserved break.</p><p>But dislike had turned into hate the day her parents died, the 26th of September.</p><p>She recalled the crisp mornings and the dry leaves, the excitation of the upcoming horror holiday. The bad puns of her dad and the cooking of her mom.<br/>
September was nothing but a bad month and as she made her way toward a particular shed, she felt very lonely.</p><p>Her coat had been stolen by a woman who needed it as much as she did. She had left it on a chair at the shelter and when she had come back from the bathroom, the thief was fleeing throught the front door with a very familiar green piece of fabric in her arms. Ellie had considered running after her and giving her piece of her mind, but she was so tired and hungry she didn't think she had the strenght to run.</p><p>As she neared the fences of Joel's propriety, she noticed something, or rather she noticed the lack of something. Where had proudly stood big planks of wood, there was now nothing but beaten grass, allowing anyone and anything to step on the land.</p><p>She wanted to be confused, but she was too tired and cold to even think. The air was chilly and draft of wind crept throught her new red flannel and shirt. Her hands were tucked in the pockets of her jeans to keep a little bit of warmth, but there was next to nothing to protect the rest of her shivering body.<br/>
The house was the same as last time she had seen it, unmoving and seemingly empty, except for the lone light shinning throught the second floor's window. Ellie furrowed her brow. It was so late, what was he doing up ?Deciding that she didn't care, she made her way toward the old shed. She nervously pushed open the door and was met with an unusual cozy temperature. She flicked open the light and gawked at the sight before her.</p><p>The old matress she had previously been sleeping on had been replaced by another one, bigger and comfier, begging for her to jump on it. A medium sized white portable heater had been installed on the floor, illuminating the place with a warm orange glow. Snacks and bottles of water were scattered on the floor, a bit dusty. Ellie wondered just how long it had been there.</p><p>"Wow. He really wasn't kidding."</p><p>She let go of her bag and kneeled in front of the radiator, skin burning from the sudden switch from cold to hot. Taking more time to take a look around, she noticed a bundle of clean blanckets folded on one of the unused workbenches. She worked her way to it and carefully touched the very soft fabric before taking a good whiff out of it. It smelled like soap and lavender. It smelled like home.</p><p>Ellie removed her shoes and sat silently on the matress, bouncing carefully as she did so. She blinked and gave it another rebound and before she knew it, she was jumping on it like a kid, hair bobbing with every leap.</p><p>"Seems like someone is enjoyin' herself."</p><p>The voice almost made her jump out of the matress in catastrophe. She stopped her movement, looking at the new apparition like a deer caught in headlights.</p><p>"I didn't, I wasn't-"</p><p>Joel gave an hearthy laught and eased her worries. He was leaning against the door frame she had left slightly ajar, his dark kaki shir tucked in his faded jeans.</p><p>"It's okay, kid."</p><p>There was a moment of silence, only broke by the comforting singing of faraway crickets. The teenager cleared her throat and gestured toward the shed.</p><p>"What's all this ?"<br/>
"Oh, uh, well I've been kinda hoping you'd come around, so uh, I wanted to make it comfortable for you."He explained, a bit awkward.</p><p>She looked right at him with suspicious eyes.</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>The man strocked his beard with a sigh.</p><p>"I get that you don't want me around. It's okay. But it'd be nice to have somewhere warm to sleep in at night, wouldn't it ? Well I uh... I say at night but you can stay here whenever. I don't mind. I can even bring a tv, or books-"<br/>
"D'you have any clothes?" She asked precipitally.</p><p>His eyebrows shot upward.</p><p>"Clothes?" He repeated.<br/>
"Yeah, clothes. I mean, you probably don't, since you're, like, a grown ass man, but I still wanted to ask."</p><p>He shifted a bit and looked at his feet, seemingly hesitating on something.</p><p>"Wait here." He ordered after a few seconds of silence.</p><p>He came back minutes later with a basket in his hands. Ellie was undoing her hair for comfort, long locks of auburn blanketed her shoulders and arms. Joel looked at her for a moment then handed her the basket.</p><p>Ellie dug throught it and took out a few pieces of clothes, going from hoodies and yoga pants to flannels and band t shirts. There was even a coat. Most of it was a bit small but it seemed to fit. She frowned at him.</p><p>"Are those the clothes of the girls you kidnapped and killed?" She half joked with anxiety.</p><p>Joel snickered quietly, head turning to the side in disbelief.</p><p>"Again with that. I ain't some psycho killer."<br/>
"Yeah, you're probably right. Killers don't tuck their shirt into their pants."</p><p>He looked down at himself in confusion.</p><p>"So mind telling me why you have girls' clothes of my size?" Ellie questioned, eyeing on a pink shirt with a judgemental glare.<br/>
"They were my daughter's."</p><p>His voice had been low and raw. She darted her eyes to him, seeing as he avoided her big round eyes and baby like face.</p><p>"Did she left ?"<br/>
"She, uh, died a few years back. There, uh, was a shooting in the street back in Texas and she had caught a lost.... bullet."</p><p>She nodded slowly, realization dawning on her at that moment. It may not be that, but maybe he wanted to help her because he lost his own daughter. That'd make sense.<br/>
His eyes weren't wet, but they had glazed over as he got lost in his own painful memories. They both went quiet for a minute and Ellie nodded again.</p><p>"Okay." She said, voice soft. "Thanks for the clothes, Joel."<br/>
"Anytime kiddo. Have yourself a good night now. I'm in the house if you need anything."</p><p>He was gone before she could reply. Ellie changed into a pair of yoga pants, a simple t shirt and laid back on the mattress, her feet burning under the glow of the radiator.</p><p>It has been one hell of a week. She still wasn't sure it happened. It all went so fast, she felt elated and scared.</p><p>After her date with Dina and Jesse, they had asked for her phone number. Of course, she didn't have a phone. Truth to be told, at that moment, she had half a mind to just tell them the truth and run away. But instead, she had opened her stupid mouth and told them she wasn't allowed to have a phone, dad's rule. Ellie had seen just how confused they had been at that statement. Jesse even cringed, hand clutching tightly at his phone. Then Dina had asked how they were going to contact her, because for reasons she couldn't understand, they had liked her company. </p><p>There was still time to turn back and leave with dignity.</p><p>But she obviously didn't, telling them she had very strict computer time. She had given them a timelaps to join her on her email every day. Jesse had seemed a bit put off but Dina had liked how fucking mysterious she was. Ellie had been sweating bullets all week, spending all her time working from place to place to be able to pay for the computer time and the hundred hang outs the black haired girl had wanted to do. She worked for the pizzeria and cleaned the floor. She had sung a few songs in the subway. She had begged in the richest part of the town, which actually made her earn a few dollars. She had also helped Miss Hollers and had helped an older man to cross the street and he had given her a dollar.<br/>
She spent all of it on that computer thing and a bit on cheap cereal bars. Her legs were nothing but stick and every bone was pocking out of her skin.</p><p>When Jesse had worried about her well being, she had told them she was often too busy to eat, or she'd forgot. All throught her lies, Dina had looked at her with a indecipherable look on her feature, but hadn't pushed it.</p><p>Ellie knew she sucked at lying, so she needed to back up her stories, hence why she had pleaded Joel for some clothes. At least if she was able to show up with more than two sets of clothes, that'd be great.</p><p>Looking around the sed, Ellie found herself imagining it as her own room. She could scavenge for comics and clothes and stuff without overstuffing her bag.</p><p>Her eyes grew heavy and she dozed off, gently rocked by the sound of the cold september wind reverbating on the shed's facade.</p><p>--------------------</p><p>"Would you mind helping us a bit here, Ellie?"</p><p>Ellie looked up from the new diary she had been writting in, eyes round with puzzlement.</p><p>Jesse, Dina and herself were settled in a small Cafe situated downtown. The shop was buzzing with activity but it didn't seem to bother the three teenagers.</p><p>"Uh?" She asked dumbly.<br/>
"I swear El, your head's always up in space." Dina rolled her eyes.<br/>
"I love space."<br/>
"I know you do dork." She teased with a long smile." Mind helping up with our homework? There's something Jesse and I don't understand. And since you're a nerd..."</p><p>Ellie's whole body froze in panic at the plead. Her eyes went wide and her heart skipped a beat. There was no way she was able to help them in any way . She sucked at school and had been out of it for a long time now. She mentally cursed herself for that dumb school lie she had told them. Should have chosen any other school and just say she sucked at school. Which was true, so that'd be easy to cover up.</p><p>But no, she had to say she was from some snobbish school for the geniuses or whatever. Fucking, dumb Ellie.</p><p>"O-okay." She stammered with apprehention, wondering what the fuck she was doing.</p><p>Dina went to sit next to her, so close in fact, she was able to smell the pleasing fruity fragrance of her shampoo, which made her breath hitch.</p><p>Body warmth irridiated from her like a human blanket.</p><p>"Soooo... there, it's the one."</p><p>Ellie looked down and was immediatly confused by the mathematical equation written on the paper. She didn't know an equation could be so fucking long , it should be illegal. She shifted her eyes from the book to look at the room, asking every God for a way out.</p><p>She was just about to ask for a bathroom break first when Jesse slapped his large hand against the table, almost making the redhead jump out of her skin.</p><p>"I found it,D! Bring your ass over here!"</p><p>I wave of relief washed over Ellie when the girl smiled at his boyfriend and took her seat back. Ellie's heart returned to normal and for a moment, Ellie had feared to go full blown panic attack on them. It was something she had managed to avoid until now and she intended on keeping it that way.</p><p>"Ohhh yeah, makes sense now. Jesse, I love you babe. Saved me me from a fucking headache."</p><p>Ellie watched as the two kissed languidly, tongues pressed against each other's in an obvious fight for dominance. Ellie adverted her eyes at the display, cheeks red and heart tender.</p><p>"Geez, get a room."</p><p>Dina actually grinned against the boy's lips and winked at her.</p><p>"Now now Red, don't be jealous. There's enough of me for everyone."<br/>
"You wish."<br/>
"Are there any pretty girl at this school of yours ?" Jesse chimed in, taking a small bite of his blueberry muffin.</p><p>Ellie tried to work her memories. After the stupid lie she told them about being a student at Doswell High School, she had spent a great deal of her time in front of it, taking notes of everything she was noticing: the color of the uniform and its divergence, the timetable of classes, the overall apparence of the building. She had even dared to walk upon the well cut grass of the courtyard, gawking at a school both her parents would have refused to pay.</p><p>And of course, she had observed just how gorgeous boys and girls were at this high school. Fuck, half of them looked like Goddesses and Greek Gods.</p><p>"They are." She said simply, sipping at the only thing she could afford:water.<br/>
"Have you met any yet?" Dina questioned, a badgering smile stretched on her beautiful lips.<br/>
"Guuuuuuyss..." she groaned with a roll of her eyes. " I am not talking about it with you."</p><p>She just wanted to avoid any conversation about this school. The less she talked about it, the better.</p><p>"How do you even pay for it ? What does your father do ?" Her male friend inquired, pen tapping on his homework paper. " You don't talk much about him."</p><p>Because it hurts, she thought.</p><p>"Well he was- I mean, he is a firefighter."<br/>
"Ohhh, interesting, do you think this is what you want to do later?"</p><p>Ellie heard Dina's question, but it took her a moment to answer, actually pondering the question in her head.</p><p>"I... don't think so? I see him as some kind of hero, but... I don't know, it doesnt appeal to me."<br/>
"Then what do you want to do ?" Dina pressed on, hands in Jesse's, rubbing it softly with her thumb.<br/>
"I don't know yet." Try not to die. " And you?" She asked to avoid talking about her.</p><p>She shrugged. "Maybe work in a clinic ? But I also love to, like, repair things. My uncle used to scoot around town for scraps to rebuild or repair. Just because he loved having something to do with his hands. He was also a mechanic."<br/>
Ellie nodded, "What about you Jesse?"<br/>
"Dunno. Probably cop or something."<br/>
"You, cop? No way, you're way too laid back." She snorted with a lopsided grin.</p><p>The corner of his mouth shot upward.</p><p>"You'd be surprised."<br/>
"Jesse's actually a real worrywart." The mexican girl explained, closing her book and stuffing it in her duffel bag. "If I don't answer his calls he thinks I'm dead."<br/>
"The streets are dangerous." He nudged her in the ribs. "There's gangs and pervs. Heard the Seraphites beat the hell out of a kid the other day."<br/>
"Now, where'd'you get that?" Dina didn't seem to believe him.</p><p>He shrugged.</p><p>"Heard about it by Astrid at school. Her cousin knows someone who's in that gang and news spreaded."</p><p>Ellie and Dina both made a face.</p><p>"That's a fucking sick thing to do. Did the police get involved?" Ellie asked.<br/>
"Weĺl, yes, a bit. But the police here doesn't want to cross the<br/>
Seraphites. Between you and me? The Seraphites rules more this town than the damn police Like they're some kind of mafia. There's a lot of bribery going around for the cop to look the other side, you know ? And anyway, the kid's homeless. Cops have better things to do."</p><p>Dina gave him a disgusted shake of her head, black curls bouncing in the motion.</p><p>"I hate this town. So fucking sick. It's a kid."<br/>
" I know, D. There's too much people without a home, these days."</p><p>The conversation went on but Ellie wasn't listening anymore, her concerns immediatly drifting to Abby and Lev. She knew they had had close calls with the Seraphites in the past and it made her kind of worried. What if it was Lev?</p><p>She started to gather her things.</p><p>"Where are you going?" Jesse asked as he watched her pack.<br/>
"I-I need to go. I have, uh, homeworks and a paper due for tomorrow. See you guys tomorrow, okay? I'll be waiting outside your school, same time."<br/>
"O-oka-" Dina was cut off.<br/>
"See you guys later!"</p><p>She took off, trying to forget about the tighening in her chest.</p><p>She had a bad feeling about this.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Abby Anderson was an hardened woman. Her body was a patchwork of rugged scars and a canvas of blue and purple bruises. She was build like an ox and had the strenght of a boar. She fought like a tiger and was sharp like an eagle. Her character was the whole animal kindom mushed togheter into one monstrous woman. She was strong, smart and independant.</p><p>Lev, on the contrary, was a scrawny little thing, not unlike Ellie but a few years younger. He had a knit for dry jokes that often weren't even funny and he couldn't swear to save his life. He was a collected little teenager, invisible like a wallflower. It often helped him when he needed to sneak into places.</p><p>Both couldn't be more different. They were the perfect opposite, and younger Abby wouldn't have cared less about the kid. Ellie wasn't sure what had reunited the two. She never told her, nor was it her business to know anyway.</p><p>She had met the woman few days after her arrival in Jackson, hungry, alone, scared and lost. She had been wasting away, her body nothing more than a bundle of bones and skin. Back then, she had no idea how to survive on her own. Back then, trashes were the only thing keeping her from dying of hunger, and only because that's all she had known from watching random old homeless folks do it themselves in her big town. When Abby had found her, she had had half a mind to ignore her and left her to rot, but Lev had talked her out of the idea. In his eyes, she had been worth helping, and she was very grateful for that.</p><p>Despite their rough beginning, Ellie had fond memories of them. Abby had taught her how to survive, how to streetfight, where to look for food and shelters. But whereas Ellie was more of an honest person, Abby was a troublemaker who often traded with the black market. She was a busy person, but they would sometimes meet up randomly and Abby would take her for a game of cards and share some of her weed.</p><p>Ellie knew how to find her. </p><p>The car breakers.</p><p>While the tall woman didn't quite have an appartment of her own, she had made a home out of this cars cimetery. Well, technically, the Wolf gang owned it. Abby just happened to be an important member of it. They had allowed her to take the place as her land, and even if the skeletons of automobiles had first been an unsettling sight, she was happy living there.. Ellie had been quite impressed with the way Abby handled herself out there, but she had refused to join the Wolf when the blonde haired woman had asked her. Last thing she wanted was ending up in jail, or worst, back at David's.</p><p>Abby was really possessive of this place. She was so secretive, the police had no idea someone lived here, and she defended the place like it was her own White House.</p><p>The young teenager wasn't just any tresspasser, though. She pushed open the metal fence gate and it grunted loudly at the motion. It had taken a while to get there on foot, but the fact that she was really downtown had cut the walk to two hours. She looked around to regain a bit of her bearings. It smelled like dirt and oil, a combinaisont never failed to keep her on the bridge of a sneeze.</p><p>There was nothing but the carcass of beaten up cars laying on top of each others like a fucked up pyramid. This place had always made her skin crawl with uneasiness. Nothing but abandonned automobiles. She took a few hesitant steps inside, looking for any sign of human life, but it was dead silent.</p><p>"On your left!"<br/>
"Wha-"</p><p>Pain crippled her vision as a punch landed on her left cheekbone. A muffled gasp left her mouth and she fell on the ground like a sack of potato.</p><p>"What the hell? Why didn't you dodge?" A tall, towering form yelled, throwing her arms in the air in a dramatic fashion.</p><p>Ellie got back up, her left hand cradling her injured face.</p><p>"What the fuck is wrong with you?" She groaned, massaging the area.<br/>
"What the hell is wrong with you?" Abby parroted. " You should have been able to avoid that. I even warned you!"<br/>
"Who the fuck just punch people ?" Ellie yelled back.<br/>
"You've gotten weak." Abby simply say, backing off to give the girl some space.<br/>
"Abby? Something's wrong?"</p><p>The voice was quiet, almost shy, but Ellie had no problem recognizing the boyish tone of the small asian teenager.</p><p>"Just Abby being dumb." Ellie answered before the other girl could.<br/>
"I resent that."</p><p>Abby tossed Ellie's hand so she could examine the bruise. She scanned it for a few seconds then rolled her blue eyes.</p><p>"You'll live." She gave the cheek a couple of complimentary slaps, grinning at the serie of 'owws' it provoked.<br/>
"You're such an asshole."<br/>
"So I've heard."</p><p>Abby joined Lev who has been poking his head out of their hideout. It was a hideous pile of cars parts, built in a way you had to squeeze throught to get inside a medium sized makeshift room. Ellie had once complained it seemed fucking dangerous and had refused to go in there so Abby literally had to drag her in. It wasn't half bad, really. There was a bed, a sofa, a table and an improvised bathroom. The place was littered with clothes, pizza boxes, soda cans and bottles of alcohol.</p><p>Ellie huffed, finding the situation almost comical.</p><p>"So I see I've been worrying over nothing. Can't believe I left Dina and Jesse over this..."<br/>
"Oh? Your new fuckfriends?" The taller woman mocked, sitting next to <br/>
Lev who had been playing on his old faded gameboy.</p><p>The younger girl blushed a deep red and swiped her head in her drection.</p><p>"Fuck you."<br/>
"Awwn. And here I was, thinking of sharing my weed here. Such a shame. "<br/>
"I'm not here for that." Ellie crossed her legs and sat in front of them, tossing her bagpack aside and giving her shoulders a few comfortable rolls until it cracked. "I heard about the Seraphites beating a kid, so I came to see if Lev was alright."</p><p>Both Abby and Lev tensed, like suddenly caught in freezing ice. The boy's face went livid, contrasting with the darker shade of his skin while Abby seemed to have a hard time keeping still. </p><p>"You've heard about that?" Her voice turned cold and controlled, raw emotions piercing throught in the form of a growl.<br/>
"A bit." She nodded. "Just what I told you."</p><p>Abby clenched her teeth and stood up to pace around the area. Lev looked up, eyes like empty shells, his game forgotten resting on his lap.</p><p>"I'm... okay, but..."</p><p>He didn't finish and Ellie frowned in anticipation. Something wasn't right, she could sense it.</p><p>"But what?" She asked, more agressively than she truly intended.</p><p>This tension was giving her the jitters and she didn't like it. Her heart started beating faster when none of them answered, Le lost in his own thoughts and Abby muttering curses under her breath.</p><p>"Guys?"The auburn haired girl pressed.<br/>
"The kid that was attacked..." Abby started, hissing throught her teeth as she leaned against the wall. " It's Lev's sister."</p><p>Ellie's eyes went to Abby and the teen back and forth, and they widened in surprise.</p><p>"No way. You have a sister?"</p><p>He nodded slowly, shoulders hunched in defeat.</p><p>"Yeah... she's, uh, was a member of the Seraphite. But she did something and wronged them... "</p><p>The boy sounded so small and sorrowful, Ellie felt a bit bad for him.</p><p>"Lev?"</p><p>He turned toward her wordlessly. She looked at him straight in the eyes.</p><p>"I have a few jokes about unemployed people."</p><p>Abby and Lev blinked quizzically at her. Ellie took a few seconds to make sure she had their attention and spoke with an air of confidence.</p><p>"But none of them work."<br/>
"Oh my god, fucktard! This isn't the time for your stupid puns!" Abby stomped her way, towering over her like an enormous tree, but the teenager didn't flinch in the slighest.<br/>
Men scared the fuck out of her. Dina scared her so much she turned into a rambling mess. Snakes terrified her. But Abby? She might be intimidating, but she trusted the girl with her life.</p><p>Lev didn't seem to be amused either, and Ellie threw her hand in the air.</p><p>"Okay, fine, that sucks, what do you want me to do about it?"</p><p>Abby's eyes turned dark and Ellie's throat squeezed with an growing lump.</p><p>Abby crunched and brought a notepad from a beaten up duffel bag and slammed it on the table.</p><p>"So, two days ago, I sent Lev to their hideout. He was sneaking around... these parts." She said, pointing to a crudely drawn plan of Jackson. Yara is being held... right here." She jammed her big finger near the outskirt of town, but on the total opposite of where they were actually situated.<br/>
"What do they have against your sister?" The teenager girl asked to the asian boy, brow elevated in curiosity.</p><p>He shifted uncomfortably on his seat, hands coursing throught his short black hair in grief. He seemed quite hesitant to answer but Abby rested a reassuring palm on his bony shoulder.</p><p>"When... When mom threw us out, Yara went straight to the Seraphites-"<br/>
"She's part of them? You were serious..." Disbelief crossed Ellie's face.<br/>
"Yeah." He nodded, avoiding all eyes. "When mom threw us out, she went to them, because once you're part of them, they take care of your needs like you're one of their own. Food, shelter, friends, protection. She tried to convince me to join, but I didn't want to. It was before I met Abby."</p><p>Ellie strocked the back of her neck, aware of the dilemna the whole situation was leading to.</p><p>"So you're basically on opposite team... Jesus..."<br/>
"Yeah. Anyway, she worked as a smuggler there... she's young and-and no one would suspect a 16 years old asian girl to carry thousands of dollars of drugs across town."</p><p>Ellie knew teenagers were often utilized as smuggling tools in the black market of Jackson. It paid enough and for those who craved for the top of the ladder, it was an easy debut, and one of trust. But it had its consequences, and Ellie had reasons to stray away from this mess.</p><p>Lev sniffed quietly, head falling so low it almost hang between his legs. The hand on his shoulder moved to rub his back affectionnately and Abby locked eyes with Ellie's.</p><p>"Something went wrong along the way and she disappeared for a few days. They finally found her without the cargo and.... well, I let you guess how that follows."<br/>
"How do you know all that?"</p><p>The tall adult crossed her muscular arms, grinning.</p><p>"I have my ways, okay. Now, we need to get there and take her back."<br/>
"We? You mean the Wolf?"<br/>
"No, you dimwit, I mean you and I."</p><p>Ellie first thought she heard wrong when a white hot panic washed over her.</p><p>"What?" She croacked, furrowing her brows.</p><p>Abby sighted and rubbed her tired eyes.</p><p>"God, please, gimme patience, I said you and I were goin' to-"<br/>
"Nuh-uh."</p><p>The blonde interrupted herself, straight face twisting into one of confusion.</p><p>"Nuh-uh?"<br/>
"Nuh-uh." Ellie repeated, standing up.<br/>
"What nuh-uh?" Abby parroted stupidly.<br/>
"I'm not doing this." Ellie said with a deadpan look, as if the answer was one of simple deduction.</p><p>Abby advanced closer, her intimidating frame shadowing the smaller girl.</p><p>"What?"<br/>
"Have you actually looked at me?" She asked, gesturing to herself. " I weight 120 pounds completely drenched, I'm half starved and-and I'm 16 for fuck sake! You wanna send me to my death?"</p><p>Abby let out a a dry cackle and schook her head.</p><p>"Don't be ridiculous. The Seraphites are a lot of things, but they're no killers."<br/>
"Yeah, 'cause being beaten to an inch of your life is so much better. Why don't you ask your...special friends?" Ellie really wanted to help her, but how could she be of any help, she was clueless. She had almost nothing to lose anymore, but she didn't want to jump straight into this suicide trap either.</p><p>"Puh'lease, those guys ? None of them wants to walk on Seraphite territory. Owen's being a big pussy 'bout it, Mel's fucking pregnant, I can't find Nora, Leah is... Fuck Leah, and Manny is-".</p><p>Ellie interrupted her with her hand, staring right at Abby with a serious and rocklike expression on her face. She heard enough of this shit, there was no way she was doing this.</p><p>"I have no idea who these people are, and I frankly don't care. Count me out."</p><p>She reached for her bag and prepared to leave, but Abby blocked her path. Ellie tilted her head up, prepared to face the storm of Abby's anger but she found soft eyes pleading her instead.</p><p>"Please, El, I need this, she is Lev's sister. She's just a kid, hell, what if it was you?"<br/>
"Abby..." Ellie cringed, feeling her conviction being peeled off slowly like an onion.<br/>
"I saved you. I could have ignored Lev when he asked me to help you. But I didn't. I walked up to you, pulled you up and showed you how to survive. You owe me. And I need you. You'd be dead today if it wasn't for me."</p><p>Each word she said had a sharp, slicing edge to it, they rang so true to Ellie's ears she faltered a bit.</p><p>"But I'm scared, Abby. I just... I don't want any problem."<br/>
"Look, help me here and I'll give you something in return. What do you need ? Food, clothes? Drugs, maybe ? A skateboard, shoes? Just name it and I'll get it for you."</p><p>She wasn't lying. Anything she could ask for, she knew where to get it. She'd have an appartment already if it wasn't for the whole "laying low" concept.</p><p>Realistically, there was a lot of things Ellie needed, and Abby didn't offer her help often. She could ask for a stolen credit card, but that'd be risky. She could ask for new boots. Or maybe for a new backpack. But instead, her mind wandered to Dina, and just how beautiful she looked everytime she smiled, and how bright her eyes would shine when she talked about something she liked.</p><p>Ellie closed her eyes and sighed, giving up. </p><p>"I need a phone."</p><p>Abby knitted her brows togheter, openly surprised by the demand.</p><p>"A phone? What for?"<br/>
"That's my business."<br/>
"Geez, do you want an applewatch too?" Abby rolled her eyes dramatically.<br/>
"You said anything." Ellie leaned back against the wall, holding onto her request.<br/>
"Rah, fine. I'll find you one."<br/>
"And I need to be able to call and text on it."<br/>
"Yeah yeah, I'll get it for you, so it's a yes?"<br/>
"Yes, Abby, I accept to run to my death." Her tone rippled with sarcasm, but Ellie was actually shitting her pants.</p><p>Of course, even though she had tried to stay away from everything illegal, there had been a couple of occasions when she had done a thing or two she wasn't too proud of. She had once stolen a whole bag of grocerie and ran away with it. It was before Abby met her, half dead and starving and desperation clawing at her sanity. Abby once told her she had one hell of a survival instinct. The redhead had scoffed at the comment, but she had then said she had a keen eye for those things. Ellie wasn't she believed her.</p><p>"What's your plan?" Ellie inquired, sitting back next to silent Lev.</p><p>The young boy had watched the confrontation, and was gazing apologetically at Ellie, sorry to drag her into this</p><p>Smilling a little, Abby grabbed a few snacks from a box and threw it at the teenager girl.</p><p>"Eat. You look like a dead chicken."<br/>
She rolled her eyes. "Gee, thanks."</p><p>She shot her the stink eye and dug throught a bag of chips, silently wondering if it would happened to be her very last meal.</p><p>"Still, Abby. What good would I be ? I'm useless."</p><p>Abby gestured to Lev to give her a bit of place and sat next to Ellie, so close their shoulders touched. She made her look at her in the eye by softly clutching her chin between two fingers.</p><p>"Listen to me Ellie and listen good because I am not going to repeat myself. You think you are so weak. Remember that time I made you fight me near Jackson Lake?"</p><p>Ellie nodded, staring into her blue eyes in confusion.</p><p>"I made you fight me to see how much you have improved your streetfighting skills. And I beat the everloving shit out of you."<br/>
"So glad to remember that now." She winced, recalling how much her body had throbbed after that.<br/>
"You were hungry, smaller and weaker back then. I punched you so hard it broke your damn nose and you fell on the ground. And you know what you did ? You stood up. There was so much determination in your eyes, kid. Few persons are able to stand on their feet after I hit them, and boy did I hit you hard. Your pain tolerence is incredible and trust me when I say you can get pretty dangerous and vicious when you want to."</p><p>Ellie scoffed, amused.</p><p>"I'm not vicious."<br/>
"You hit her over the head with a plank of wood." Lev chimed in, wincing at the recollection.</p><p>She shrugged. "She had it comin'."<br/>
"It hurt." Abby deadpan look gave her what she needed to let a small chortle get past her lips.<br/>
"Alright. What's your suicide plan?"</p><p>Abby growled and It made Ellie smirk a little. She knew she was being annoying but hey, she was allowed to. But in her honest opinion, she was right to be overdramatic. Her stomach churned with fear and apprehension.<br/>
But a small, deep part of her became restless with excitation.</p><p>Tossing the improvised map to her, Abby circled an area with a red pen.</p><p>"There. This is where Yara is being kept. There's, uh, an abandonned building, uh, maybe a good kilometer or two from he road. It used to be a commercial office but the idea was abandonned a few years back. They took it as their own."<br/>
"But the town owns it. "</p><p>Abby tilted her head to stare right at her with comically stoic expression.</p><p>"The Seraphites owns the town. They're paying their taxes. The woman behind all this doesn't even live in Jackson. Hell, she's probably sucking Beckam's dick in Bora Bora right now. Wouldn't surprise me if she had business deals with the mayor."</p><p>Ellie scratched her head. This town was all kind of fucked up. What the hell did she walk into? This was way bigger than she imagined.</p><p>"But how do they serve the town?"<br/>
"They keep criminality low. Like I said before, they're no killers. They beat up the every day criminals and bring them to the police, which in turn look the other way for the smuggling thing. Killing anyone would break the trust they have over the dirigeants."</p><p>Ellie faced Abby with an empty, blank expression painted on her young face.</p><p>"We're gonna die." She deadpanned.<br/>
"Wha- we're not gonna die ! God, you're a little ball of sunshine, aren't you? " Abby groaned, grabbing a beer from a small fridge and tossing it to her and Lev.</p><p>Ellie caught it mid air and rose a concerned eyebrow toward the young boy.</p><p>"Aren't you a little young for that?" She questionned as he opened his drink.<br/>
"I do what I want." He replied without an hint of annoyance, silently sipping from the brown colored bottle.<br/>
"Jesus, fine."</p><p>The young adult strolled back to the couch, finishing half the bottle in a single sip. She pointed to another area of Jackson, far away from their hideout toward the richest part of town.</p><p>"They, uh, have a party here. Yeah, that's right. Emily will be there."<br/>
"Who's Emily?"<br/>
"Their leader. There will be important people but most importantly, the three quarter of their members will be there."<br/>
"Which mean?" Ellie played with the bottle in her hands to keep the anxiety from taking over.<br/>
"Which mean their hideout will be less heavily guarded."<br/>
"Again, how do you know that?" Ellie almost wondered if she was herself part of the Seraphites. " Do you know their shower schedule as well?"</p><p>Lev actually snickered at that. Abby rolled her eyes and continued.</p><p>"Your role, smartass, is that you're going straight to them and demand to be part of their group."</p><p>Ellie froze in shock.</p><p>"You're kidding right ?"</p><p>Abby shot her a glare.</p><p>"Do I look like I'm joking? Do I look like a fucking clown to you?"</p><p>She received a lopsided grin but she cut her off before she could say anything.</p><p>"Shudup." She simply said.<br/>
"I didn't say anything."<br/>
"You were going to."<br/>
"You have so little faith in me."</p><p>Abby rolled her eyes, and Ellie wondered how many times she could make the older woman roll her eyes in a single day. Patience growing thin, Abby motionned to the map.</p><p>"Now let me finish this damn plan and I swear to God if you interrupt me again I'll hit you. Okay, so the point is, you're the distraction. While they're busy with you, I sneak behind and find a way in and look for Yara. When I find her, it will be my turn to distract them while you run for your life."</p><p>Silence. Abby scanned the teenager's face for any sign of comprehention. Ellie blinked then pointed her own chest.</p><p>"Can I talk now?"<br/>
"Yes."<br/>
"This is so fucking stupid! Where'd you get that idea, in an episode of Looney Toons? And so what, you'll just search the entire building like you're visiting a damn museum? You're pratically as big as my sixth grade gym teacher. You're barely able to walk around your own home without breaking something, and then let's say we get out of it unharmed. So what then ? They will just hunt us down. Like you say they own the town. I'm already running from someone, am I supposed to run from the whole godamm town now ? This is stupid and- and it will get us killed, and-"<br/>
"Ellie?" The blonde breathed out, trying to remain calm.<br/>
"What ?"<br/>
"You done?."<br/>
"Yes."<br/>
"Great. Now shut the fuck up."</p><p>Ellie obeyed. This was stupid. It was so so stupid, but she hadn't been able to say no. Ellie always had this little voice in her head everytime she did what she wasn't supposed to do. She did a perfect job to ignore it.</p><p>"They're going to hunt us down, Abby."<br/>
"That's a risk I'm willing to take. Are you?"</p><p>Ellie didn't answer, choosing to sip more of the sweet alcohol instead. This was nut. This was just nut. But if she could help save that girl, she could get that phone from Abby and texts Dina 24/7. Or, well, as long as the mexican woman will have her. It will also help to back up her stupid I'm-going-to-a-fancy-school lie. She had a brief thought about just how long she could hold onto that lie before it blows up in her face but she pushed it away. Now wasn't the time for this.</p><p>"When do you want to do that?" Her voice held no venom, only a tired resignation. The blonde sighed, nervously scratching her scalp.</p><p>"The party is tomorrow night. I wish we'd do it today, but...."<br/>
"I have one last question. If they don't intend to kill the girl, then why are they keeping her? What's the point?"<br/>
"I don't know. She was part of them, maybe they are waiting for their leader to take a decision? I wouldn't be surprised if they were involved in human traficking."</p><p>Ellie let out a dry, humorless laught.</p><p>"Human traficking now. Now death might be better than that. Jesus Christ Abs, if we get caught I will kick you so hard your grandkids will feel it."<br/>
"We're only going to get caught if you keep thinking like this. Woman up!"</p><p>Green eyes wandered around they found what they were searching for.</p><p>"You know what ? Fuck it. Let's do this." She reached for one of the stronger stuff and poured herself a big glass of rhum.<br/>
"Nuh-uh,kid. One's enough." Abby warned when she saw Lev in possession of another bottle<br/>
"Fine." He poutted.</p><p>Ellie handed the taller girl a glass for herself and they both drank it in one swift motion. Ellie grimaced a bit and shook her head</p><p>"Man, that's strong,<br/>
"This isn't even my stronger stuff. Maybe if you're a good girl out there I'll let you touch the bottle."</p><p>They drank until Lev fell asleep in the sofa, after which they decided to take their fun outside. They both decided to share a joint, and as they laid atop of a beaten up Cadillac, Ellie couldn't help but be ingulfed by the concept of the vastness of the universe.</p><p>"Did you know that the universe is constantly expending?" Ellie mumbled, stars shining throught her irises. "Like... it never stops growing."</p><p>Abby chukled, taking between two fingers the joint Ellie was handing her.</p><p>"Sure, nerd. I'm not much of a space fan."</p><p>She took a slow, agonizing hit, ignorant to the younger girl turning her head towards her.</p><p>"What do you like then, grumpy?</p><p>Abby gave her back the weed as she searched in her memories. "I don't know. I like to fight, and I love animals. When my dad was still alive, he was a veterinarian, and I 'member looking up to him. My dad was my hero back then. Mom lost her shit when he was killed."<br/>
"Who killed him?" </p><p>The blonde shifted umcomfortably, she hadn't talked about her dad in a very long time. Ellie sensed the shift in the tension and passed her the joint.</p><p>"You don't have to tell me if you don't wanna.<br/>
She scrunched her face. "It's okay, it's just... weird to talk about it." She took a long hit, exhaling an healthy amount of smoke in the air, watching it drift away in the cool air. "So, there was this maniac around town a few years back. He would sneak in people's house, steal their shit and rape the women."<br/>
"Asshole." Ellie muttered, disgusted, eyes hazed over.<br/>
"Yeah. So one day he happened to choose our house. My dad fought him and he was stabbed three times. My mom was raped. It really fucked her up."<br/>
"What 'bout you?" The redhead asked, refusing the almost all burned weed stick Abby was giving her.</p><p>After finishing it in one long hit, she threw it away with a flick of her fingers, smells still lingering in the air as an aftertaste.</p><p>"I was hiding in the closet like a fuckin' coward. Stayed there until the police arrived."<br/>
"Do you regret it ?" Ellie's voice sounded like a distant sound to her friend's ears, as she reslessly busied her hands with the hem of her gray and black shirt. She sighed, but it was so full of guilt it sounded more like a whimper.</p><p>"Yeah, every godamm day."<br/>
"Did you... ever thought about revenge? Finding the guy and.... I don't know. Make him pay?"</p><p>Ellie had thought long and hard about finding revenge against David. She'even admit that it was literally all she could think about everytime his image crept in her mind like a venomous snake. She wanted to see him dead, or at least locked away where he would not hurt anybody else. There were long, cold night when she'd dream of him. She would wake up shaking from a seething rage that would only weaken as the day went on. She wanted to make him suffer, and her inability to so was infuriating.<br/>
Abby's lack of hesitation only seemed to fuel the idea that she wasn't alone.</p><p>"I'd kill that bastard with my bare hand any time."<br/>
"Yeah..." Ellie smiled a bit, mind like a foggy haze left by the numbing of her mind, allowing her to speak her heart out. " I'd do the same to David."</p><p>Abby's knee went to nudge her in a playful push.</p><p>"Who's David?"<br/>
"Hum... the man I'm runninf away from? He was... is, my uncle. Took me in after the death of my parent... he's like, a religious freak who thinks he can... cure, my, uh, deviance, by raping me. He did it for like, 2 years and a half before I left in the middle of the night."</p><p>It felt so surreal to talk about it. She didn't know if it was because of the cannabis, but telling her story didn't feel like her own. It felt like she was retelling a shapeless person's life story from the bleachers. There was this void in her heart, this dullness that helped to mute away the pain. It was her memories, but they seemed to far, hiding away behind a thick cloud of THC.</p><p>Abby hummed. "No wonder you're such a grumpy kid. Sorry it happened to you."<br/>
"Yeah..."</p><p>And after that, the night went silent.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ellie woke up with dread in the pit of her stomach, along with the groggy heaviness of late night drinking. She clumsiky sat up in the mattress, squeezing her green eyes at the blazing sensation the heater left on her face. It didn't take her long for the images of last night to take a clearer shape in her head.</p><p>The young woman straightened, mouth drier than the Sahara and fatigue fogging her consciousness. She didn't even remember how the hell she got here. Joel's shed was pretty far from Abby's place...</p><p>She shook her head. It didn't matter. At least she slept on a comfortable bed.</p><p>More light assaulted her eyes as the shed's door opened on a larger frame. It was Joel Miller, wearing his usual jeans and a faded brown jacket. Bright light reflected briefly throught the broken glass of his watch, making it shimmer for a second. It was enough to catch her attention as she was reminded that she never asked him about it.</p><p>He shifted uncomfortably. "Hey." He pronounced, his gruff but low voice giving the girl a sense of odd calmness.</p><p>"Hey." She replied evenly, hands supporting her weight behind her, googling him up and down. "What's this?" She gestured toward the thing in his hands.</p><p>He took a couple of steps forward, handing her a mug of steaming, dark liquid.</p><p>" Hot chocolate. With, uh, marshmallows inside... want it ?" The older man asked, almost shy.<br/>
"Sure."</p><p>She took the mug from him and let the liquid burn her lips as it rippled against the walls of her throat, eliciting a pained gasp from the girl.</p><p>"Sheesh, where'd you get it, in a volcano?" She mutterd under her breath, loud enough for him to hear her.</p><p>He shot her a lazy smile, bringing his own cup to his cracked lips.</p><p>"You got me."<br/>
"'Course I do."<br/>
"Are you okay?" He suddenly asked, looking her over.<br/>
She frowned a bit, unsure "Why wouldn't I be?" She asked, knowing well she was feeling a bit under the weather this fine cold morning.</p><p>Joel walked around the shed, avoiding her gaze and seemingly hesitant to answer. His steps brought him near her backpack and he stared at the old thing like it had the answer to all his questions.</p><p>"I, uh... I found you passed out last night in a park. I-you weren't here and I got... it worried me, is all. So I scooted the area, to, uh, give myself a piece of mind. That's when I found you. You okay, kiddo?" He inquired, worry lines fissuring the weathered skin of his face.</p><p>Ellie blinked calmly at him, unsure of what to make of his declaration. Her heart swelled and as much as she wanted to ignore this feeling, if brought a well known pang of pain to her chest, one she often attributed to a bothersome feeling of longing. She kept her face straight, taking a few seconds to put order in her thoughts. He was really worried about her.<br/>
She scanned his face, looking for any sign of mistrust, but there was none. She could see the irking honesty slipping throught the cracks of his hardened facade, like a light in the end of a tunnel.<br/>
She took a long inhale.</p><p>"I'm fine. I,... got a bit drunk, I think?" She said, trying to remember the last moments of her life before she dozed off.</p><p>He made a face of disaprovement, but said nothing as he took a longer sip of his coffee, prompting Ellie to do the same, only for an awkward silence to settle in. Green eyes fell on the mug that sat in his palm, with the gentle picture of a drawn owl. She moved her mug to her eyes, taking in the tiny pink hearts painted across the cheap china.</p><p>"I, uh..."</p><p>She glanced toward him, face calm and honestly still tired and groggy. His big hand went to scratch behind his neck and he cleared his throat.</p><p>"I made breakfast. I know you don't want to go in, but... I reckon it'd be warmer and... more practical. Or, I can still bring it here, if it makes you umcomfortable...<br/>
"Okay." She answered softly before he finished, voice barely above a whisper.</p><p>But for the man, she might as well have been screaming in his ears. He smiled hestitantly but genuinely, shifting his weight on his other foot. It was evident that it wasn't the answer he's been waiting for.</p><p>"O-okay. I'll let you get dressed. See you... see you inside, Ellie."</p><p>The sight of his small smile made the pang in her heart throb, like a dull ache that wouldn't go. As she watched him disappear out of sight, she wondered why she accepted at all. It's not like she trusted him... or maybe she did? She wasn't too sure anymore.</p><p>Ellie ruffled her auburn mane, wincing when her fingers crossed knots. Fuck, she wished she could cut them. But for now, she had more important things to take care of.</p><p>Setting aside the thought, she peeled her dirty clothes off and threw them in a laundry basket that Joel had brought her, so he could wash her clothes. The thought alone brought her to a mode of self consciousness that made her clench her teeth. He was taking care of her, and it was so subtle she couldn't bring herself to be mad about it. She couldn't thank him, not now. She found it easier to ignore the ache, and let things flow. Ignorance and avoidance, that she could deal with. The thoughts of parenting was bringing her memories down a dark path, one that would keep her up at night and soil her dreams if she was ever to sleep. In this reality, she was alone. No one to take care of her and feed her. No one to cry to when things got rough. No one to protect her from those dirty hands. Ellie frowned and slapped her cheeks, not now. Not this morning, she scolded herself.</p><p>With a bit more reluctance, she stretched, her joints popped and she let out a yawn so powerful her jaw almost snapped out of place. She made her way to the clothes he had given her, neatly folded on the workbench.</p><p>Another thing he was doing for her. It made her whole body ache deeply.</p><p>Gulping down the lump in her throat, she chose a pair of dark green cargo, a black shirt and a button down shirt she left open. She felt guilty thinking that at least, that daughter of him had great taste in clothing. She was lucky, and suddenly really bad knowing that she was wearing his dead daughter's clothes.</p><p>Ignorance and avoidance, she reminded herself, tying her hair in a ponytail.</p><p>There was something that greatly bothered in the weird relationship she had with Joel. So far, they didn't know much about each other. He knew she was running away from a bad man, and she knew he wasn't totally over the death of his only daughter. They both had their emotional luggages to carry, and Ellie brieftpy wondered if they could bond over that. Yet, the word alone left a freezing cold in her heart. </p><p>She has been alone for so long. She missed the presence of her parents so bad, she would sometimes wake up crying in the middle of the night. She tried to not think about it though, the simple throb it brought every day was enough of a bother.</p><p>She slipped the coat on and pushed open the door, immediately greeted by a draft of cool air washing away the last bit of morning drowsiness.<br/>
She grasped the hearted mug between her fingers, thumbs caressing the smooth surface as she faced the door of the house, dread settling back in her stomach. Was it a good idea ? She was going into a stranger's home. Hundreds of scenarios ran throught her head, the last one always more terrifying than its predecessor.</p><p>Not all guys are bad, she tried to resonate poorly, only to be reminded of all the atrocities only one man could do to her person. She felt a familiar heaviness grasp at her heart, tightening the muscles around it painfully. Her head swam with unclear thoughts and she squatted, put the mug on the ground and rested her left hand on her chest, breaths ragged and difficult. Her hands shaked with no real reason but the fear that her body was prisoner of.</p><p>When is this going to end ? She thought with resignation, holding back unwelcome tears.</p><p>"Comon, Ellie... fucking get ahold of yourself... if you can't go in, how the fuck are you gonna survive tonight?" She asked herself, hands sliding to her temples and rubbing it in a circle motion.</p><p>Joel was not David. David was his own man. Joel was someone who had done nothing but help her. But no matter how much she would think it, the panic attack would not stop, if anything, it became worse. She was now sweating pretty bad under her coat, so much that she removed it swiftly, not able to take the heat anymore. The air bit at her skin but she felt nothing, every nerve of her body in overdrive to fight a threat that wasn't even there.</p><p>She cursed, sitting down fully on the cold porch. She tried to ease the panic away by watching her environnement. Autumn had definitely taken his roots now, what with the myriad of warm colored leaves scattered on the ground. Impared of their blanket, the almost bared trees looked cold and dead. Gone were their beautiful garments, leaving behind a barely living skeleton. Some of the leaves had been taken in a rebelious gust of wind, swirling about like a fastened tango, leaving dry crusts in their trail.</p><p>One yellow and orange painted leaf softly landed in front of her, and she gazed at it throught unshed tears.<br/>
As a kid, she loved autumn so much. Now, it only left an empty feeling.</p><p>" Ellie? Are you alright?" Came a concerned voice above her.</p><p>She looked up, meeting warm and old hazel irises watching her with confusion and a slight anxiety. She waved her shaky hand and lowered it in her other hand to stop the shaking, a nervous chuckle passing throught her lips despite the ragged breaths.</p><p>"It's n-it's nothing, j-just a stupid panic attack."</p><p>He raised his hand to touch her but she recoiled away like a frightened animal. Joel clenched his teeth and seemed to think for a moment.</p><p>"Wait here." He told her, rushing inside.</p><p>It didn't take long for the girl to feel a sudden heat around her shoulders, envelopping her whole body with a growing warmth that truly felt like a hug.</p><p>" What is this?" Her voice sounded tired, but she couldn't care less about that right now.</p><p>He fastened the blanket around her, his fingers spread on her back, and for once, she didn't mind the indirect contact. His touch, even above the blanket, was one of the father, not a stranger.</p><p>"It's an heavy blanket. Used it for, ah, my own panic attacks after Sara." He admitted, his eyes not leaving her form, trying to envelop her whole with carefulness.</p><p>He had gotten dressed himself, and Ellie noticed the name of some company on his dirtied shirt and if it wasn't for the panic attack, she would have asked where he actually worked.</p><p>"It feels... nice." She muttered, for once not shying away from his touch and feeling mighty proud of herself for that.<br/>
"It does, doesn't it?" He cooed. "You can keep it."</p><p>She gasped, hands holding on tightly onto the dark fabric.</p><p>"F-fuck you, I can't!"<br/>
"Sure you can, I... I don't really need it anymore. It's yours."</p><p>The tension in her body lessened as the blanket did its work, and Ellie could barely believe it was actually working. She knew she should thank him, but she could not bring herself to do it.</p><p>"Okay," she accepted, voice and head low.</p><p>There was a silence, and then:</p><p>"Do you wanna talk about i-"<br/>
"Nope."<br/>
"Okay."</p><p>-------------------------------------</p><p>"Hey, what took you so long?" Dina questionned, walking up to a sheepishly looking Ellie.</p><p>Ellie looked up from the tree she was sketching in the journal, fingers splashed with gray from the smudgering she had given the drawing. She had been drawing while walking, almost colliding with Dina.</p><p>"Well, I'm here, aren't I?" She responded tit for tat. "Where's your bo- I mean, Jesse?"<br/>
"Oh, he's with his other girlfriend." She responded casually, pocketing her phone with the straightest pokerface Ellie had ever seen.</p><p>Dina's answer had been so quick it left the redhead voiceless. She wasn't serious, wasn't she.</p><p>"What?" She croacked, looking at her with eyes so big they almost popped out.<br/>
"Oh my god, it was a joke Ellie! Didn't think you'd fall for that one." Dina rolled her eyes, obviously amused by her friend cluelessness. "He went to the library to get a book for one of his class. What about you? You're late." She scolded her, still smilling.</p><p>Ellie shoved her gently, lips tilting upward. Of course, she was kidding. That's all Dina ever does. She sometimes wondered if their friendship was one, big joke. A dare to befriend an homeless girl or something. She truly hoped not.</p><p>"Excuse you, I am not late. I am fashionably late. This is different."<br/>
"Sure, dork. Comon, I'm dying for a mocha."</p><p>Not waiting for her to answer, Dina grabbed her wrist and led her away from the swamp of clumsy students, pushing their way out like in a rock show. Ellie's eyes trailed down to her hand, limbs so small compared to her. Her own hands had been rugged by recent years of hardship while hers looked like she never lifted a thing before. She was so feminine and delicate, Ellie felt her love for her grow in force. She didn't care if she was a black belt or fucking Hulk. She wanted to protect her from everything. Ellir couldn't believe her luck. Few weeks ago they were complete strangers. And now, they were touching</p><p>"Too much people in this school..." She heard Dina mumble before she was rudely pushed to the side by a shoulder, gasping in pain when her ankle twisted ever so slightly on the concrete.</p><p>Ellie's head snapped to the side at the sound that escaped the lips she couldn't stop thinking about, and she caught the smaller hand before her body could make contact with the floor.</p><p>"Are you okay?" Ellie asked hastily, eyes scanning her for any injury.<br/>
"Yeah, I'm fine." Dina said, craddling her foot with gritted teeth. "Fucking jock."</p><p>The auburn haired teenager turned around and followed the guy who had pushed her, anger oozimg from every pores of her skin.</p><p>"Hey, asshole!" She cried out, attracting many students attention but the one she was yelling to.</p><p>Seeing as he kept walking, she took biggee steps until she was behind him and she spun his big frame toward her, headphones almost falling out of his head as he faced her with an annoyed but confused expression.</p><p>"Uh?" He mumbled, lowering his big black JPL headphones. "Can I help you?"<br/>
"What do you fucking mean, can I help you? You pushed my friend." She growled, pointing the said girl who was looking at them with puzzlement.</p><p>His blue eyes moved toward the black haired girl, briefly noticing her hand massaging the throbbing area. Then back to the too skinny, long haired girl in front of him.</p><p>"Uh." He said again, moving his headphones back to his ears and walking away as if nothing had happened.</p><p>Ellie looked at his back, flabbergasted. Did he just fucking ignore her? She started to walk up to him, ready to punch his lights out but she was stopped by two hands reaching for her shoulders, fingers tightening and giving enough pression to snap her out of her burning fury.</p><p>"Ellie, don't." Dina's voice was gentle, but firm, forcing the taller girl to huff.<br/>
"But he-"<br/>
"I know. Just let it go, tiger." Her eyes were locked into hers, and Ellie could see her own reflection in those two pools of melted chocolate.</p><p>Ellie sighed, turning her head to the side to pout and avoid her stare.</p><p>"Fine..." She muttered, clearly not happy about it.</p><p>Seeing as nothing was going to happen, the students scattered, and soon enough, even the tall boy was out of sight. Dina looked around and did a lopsided smile, a bit amused and annoyed.</p><p>"You have some serious hero complex."<br/>
"He was a fucking jerk. Jesse would have done the same." She pleaded with pink cheeks,<br/>
"No, he wouldn't." Dina claimed. "The guy's great, but he's no fighter. His muscles are for show. He started working out 2 years ago to pick up girls."</p><p>Ellie raised an eyebrow, face still a bit red from the adrenaline.</p><p>"Did it work?" She asked curiously.</p><p>Dina shot her a devious smile, hand lingering across Ellie's biceps. </p><p>"Oh, why? You wanna pick up girls too?" She inquired teasingly, eyeing her up and down with what seemed to be a new found interest.<br/>
"That a crime?" Ellie's face was red hot now, but she refused to let Dina win this fight of words, not this time.<br/>
"Nothing wrong with that.' Dina looked around, spotting a small group of girls talking to themselves a few metters down the street. " Girls are great." She continued, enjoying every bit of embarassement that radiated from her new friend. "You okay, Superman?"</p><p>This girl was going to be the death of her. She was so flirty, touchy and teasing all the time. Did she have any idea what it did to her? To her poor, battered heart? At times it seemed she didn't, because she would act that way with other people too. And sometimes, she clearly loved to see her face go red from embarassememt, turning her into a stammering mess.</p><p>"I'm... good." She answered simply, turning her eyes away from her. "How's the ankle?" She pointed, wanting to change the subject.<br/>
"It's fine, dummy. I'm not made of glass, y'know? Beside I told you. I can handle myself."<br/>
"Okay" Ellie was a bit ashamed that she had made a fool out of herself in front of her crusn, but she let it go. No point stressing over it now.</p><p>Beside, she had more important things to think about. Like entering a gang's propriety and basically lying to their face while her friend went all James Bond in their building. At least, she had gotten better at lying. But Dina were not none the wiser. The girl was smart, and she wondered just how long she could keep up the facade. She had looked at her sceptically more than once.<br/>
Jesse, on the other hand, was easy to fool. He was naive and trusting, and she could tell anything to him and he would believe her.</p><p>How would Dina react to the fact she was basically trash? Dina was a sweet girl, but Ellie was lying to her face. If she ever accepted the fact that she was homeless, she didn't think she'd take kindly to the fact that she was lying to her. This one was a bit more difficult to forgive.</p><p>They made their way to the Amanda's, one of the closest cafe. The place was horrible, boring at best. But the coffee was really good, and it would bring more than an handful of students everyday before and after every classes.</p><p>"Say." Dina started, face dipping into her steaming mocha, eyes closing briefly at the sweet nectar. "What's in that big bag of yours? I don't believe I've ever seen you without it."</p><p>Ellie looked down at the bag lying on the booth next to her. It was frayed at the edges and had known better days, but her dad had offered it to her many years ago, and she refused to part from it.</p><p>"Oh, you know, just... stuff." She said mysteriously.<br/>
"Stuff, uh? You hidin' an uniform in there?"<br/>
"A uniform?" The teenager responded, oblivious.</p><p>Dina flicked her forehead, the mocking smile on her feature making her face shine with mischief.</p><p>"Your school's uniform, duh. I'd like to see you with that blazer and skirt."</p><p>Ellie laughed anxiously, looking down to play with her fingers, not noticing Dina's eyes trailing to her nervous habit.</p><p>"Not happening." Ellie's response was clearer than crystal, but Dina was not done with the conversation yet.<br/>
"Awww. Why? I bet you look cute. All feminine and shit." Dina's eyes once again wandered over her, and Ellie honestly didn't know what to make of that.<br/>
"Yeah. Sure." She waved her hand to shut her off.<br/>
"Smart, cute and modest. Aren't you the perfect girlfriend? I bet someone will be lucky to have you."</p><p>She knew Dina was just teasing, but it was getting harder and harder not to jump on her like a horny teenager.</p><p>"Know any in line?" Ellie took a sip of her water, certain she shut off all of her friend's attempts at embarassing her, but she was surprised to actually see her think about it, face scrunched in concentration.</p><p>"Well, now that I think about it..."<br/>
"Dina..." Ellie trailed in a warning tone, daring her to continue.<br/>
"I think Jesse's cousin is single now. Remember that girl I told you about, that used to hang with Jesse and I? Cat?"<br/>
"Dina..." Ellie repeated with a deadpan look.<br/>
"She broke up with her girlfriend. She's pretty, smart, snarky and gay as hell."<br/>
"Dina!" Ellie's face couldn't turn redder. She was pretty sure heat literally radiated from her skin now.<br/>
"I'm just saying, El, that you seem to be a really lonely person. I think it'd be good for you. You... don't seem to have a lot of friends." Dina seemed concerned now, choosing her words more carefully, fingers circling the rim of her white mug mindlessly.<br/>
"I have friends." Ellie scoffed.<br/>
"Who?" Dina challenged, raising an eyebrow.</p><p>Ellie took a few second to answer, which made Dina's smile tug even more upward in that defiant grin Ellie could live seeing less of.</p><p>"Wel, there's... you and Jesse."<br/>
"Duh, no shit Sherlock. Who else ? She asked, crossing her arms.<br/>
"There's Abby and Lev." Ellie declared proudly, crossing her arms right back at her.<br/>
"Classmates?"<br/>
"Aren't you curious now?" She cooed, drinking a long sip of water to hide her grin.<br/>
"Who are they?" She insisted.<br/>
"Friends,"</p><p>Dina blinked at her with a deadpan look, but there was an hint of amusement in her eyes. She was having fun.</p><p>"You're infuriating,"<br/>
"Have you met you?" Ellie replied in en evenly voice, eyes locked into hers, holding onto the gaze like a private tug o war.<br/>
"You make me want to go back home." Dina breathed, hiding the lowest part of her face behind the steamy mug, eyes shining throught the fumes.</p><p>Ellie leaned in ever so subtly, smirking but her voice low and raw, words coming deep from within her throat.</p><p>"No one is stopping you."</p><p>Dina licked her lips and leaned back, drapping her arm, across the booth's back. She looked impressed.</p><p>"My, Ellie Miller, aren't cha the little charmer. I reckon Cat would just love you."<br/>
"Shut up." Ellie grinned, feeling braver than ever before.<br/>
"She totally would."<br/>
"I said shut up!"<br/>
"You shut up!"</p><p>They exploded in laughter, Dina almost spitting out her mocha in the process. And just like that, Ellie felt the stress of the last days evaporate like steam. The knotted muscles relaxed, tightening only to allow the bark of laughter to come out in uneven waves. She hadn't felt like this in so long. For a moment, she was a stupid, normal, silly teenager and she was with Dina, the only person she wanted to open her heart to. Oh, how she wanted to tell her everything, she wanted to unravel in front of her, naked of all walls and insecurities. But it was never to happen, for she was Jesse's and nots hers.<br/>
Her heart ached.</p><p>"Would you two please quiet down??" Roared the waitress, big rimmed glass glowering at them from behind the customers filled counter.</p><p>Dina and Ellie looked at each other mischievously, grinning like bad kids about to exercice their monkey business.</p><p>"Shut up!" They yelled out in unison, which caused them to chuckle even harder. More and more customers seemed bothered by the noise, frowning under the commotion and giving them the stink eye.</p><p>"You freakin'-"<br/>
"Comon, let's bolt." Dina cried out before the waitress could reach them, grabbing Ellie's hand and pulling her along.</p><p>A voice growled behind them to come back, but they kept running. As they excited the store, Dina briefly turned back to give them the finger under the chocked gasp of Ellie who half laughed at the gesture before they ran away from the cafe et into the busy street. </p><p>"Oh my god, did you see her face ?" Dina giggled between breaths, still running and still holding onto Ellie's wrist for dear life.<br/>
"I thought she was gonna have an heart attack!"</p><p>Ellie chuckled even more, blood pumping too quickly in her veins, dizziness flowing her head at the lack of proper breathing, but fuck, she didn't care. It was the most fun she had in ages, and Dina was still clutching her skin, and god, that felt good. As adrenaline slowly died down, she felt alive and lighter than before, chest quickly raising and deflating. They stopped running and Ellie looked at Dina. Her breath hitched at the state her friend was in. She was soaked in a thin veil of sweat, her face flushed a delicious shade of red, eyes glistening with unshed happy tears and her smile... god, her smile. Ellie just wanted to catch her red cheeks and pull her into a sloppy kiss, to feel those lips crash to hers, teeth clattering against each other's. Their nose would bump akwardly and Ellie would laught sheepishly and admit she never kissed before. And then Dina would show her the proper way.</p><p>But instead, Dina faced her, hands on her knees, unaware of her redheaded friend's fantasy.</p><p>"Fuck, Baldie would be proud of me." She huffed, trying to catch her breath.<br/>
"Who?" Ellie asked, slowly sucked back to the painful reality.<br/>
"Mr. Growles. He's my gym teacher. He's bald so we call him Baldie."<br/>
"That's kinda mean."<br/>
"Yeah, well, it's high school." Dina answered, shrugging.</p><p>They rose up to their full height, stretched their back and Ellie wandered her eyes to the now empty street they had had landed in. There was no one around, except for the occasional car passing by. Ellie recognized the place as where she had first saved Dina. They were barely a few blocks from the karaoke thing... </p><p>"Holy shit." Ellie suddenly cursed, eyes going wide.<br/>
"What?" Dina's head snapped to the side, hands patting her jeans to make sure she still had her phone.<br/>
"You forgot to pay!" She exclaimed.<br/>
"...oh.""</p><p>Ellie stared her down, surprise and slight panic written all over Dina's face. All it took was a slight misplaced chuckle from Ellie for both of them to explode in laughter one more time, much harder than before.</p><p>"Oh shit. Am I-am I in trouble? Dina chuckled, and Ellie just loved the way it made her look so freaking gorgeous.<br/>
"You're definitely going to jail." Ellie assured her, smiling so wide it created pimples on her reddened cheeks.</p><p>Dina stared at her face for a second, eyes wandering to the smile she was sporting and shook her head in dissmissal.</p><p>"Better start to do push ups then. "<br/>
"You'd definitely need it." The smirk on the taller girl grew in lenght at the indignation painted on Dina's features.<br/>
"Look who's talking ! You're a walking stick!"</p><p>Ellie shrugged thoughtlessly.</p><p>"I'm not much of a eater. Can go a long time without eating,"<br/>
"Yeah, I've noticed. No idea how you do that, I need to eat every three hours or I waste away." She complained, quickly checking if she had any message. </p><p>She seemed to have one because her eyes skipped over the screen, fingers starting to type furiously on it. Ellie looked at her from the corner of her eyes, and noticed how her lips tugged upward as she wrote.</p><p>"Jesse says one of his friend is inviting us to a bowling party. Wanna come ?" She asked, and unless Ellie was seeing thing, she could swore her brown eyes sparkled as she asked.</p><p>Ellie definitely wanted to come, but she had a suicide mission tonight. Her stomach contracted nervously at the prospect, and she wasn't hungry anymore.</p><p>"I.. can't." She admitted, dampening her smile a bit. "I have... stuff to do tonight."<br/>
"Oh." Hurt was evident on the black haired teenager's face who nodded wordlessly and began typing again.</p><p>Rubbing her arm, Ellie let out a sigh, mind going back to the morning she had spent with Joel. It had been eventful for sure. Crumblimg down in front of him<br/>
Iike a weakling hadn't been on her agenda, but it's not like she had any control over it.</p><p>The man had been nothing but considerate, patting her blanket covered back like her mom used to do when she was little. She recognized the father side of the man in those little gestures. They were controlled and yet, instinctual. They made her feel at home, despite Ellie's desire to keep her walls up.</p><p>"I think I'll go now," </p><p>Turning to face her, the taller girl wiped her hands on her cargo pants, suddenly shy. She replied that she also had to meet a friend, to which Dina casually grinned.</p><p>"That Abby girl?" She asked.<br/>
"Yeah. Why?" She got a bit on the defensive, not wanting to dive further on this conversation.<br/>
"Nothing." She shrugged. "See you later, Superman. I'll contact you by email. And please, get yourself a damm phone."<br/>
"Okay." She answered softly, looking down at her hands, hence not noticing the insisting stare she was given.<br/>
"Ellie?"</p><p>Ellie looked up without a word, waiting quietly for her friend to speak up. Dina offered her a flirty smile, lip tucked under white teeth in a sultry manner Ellie didn't think it was legal.</p><p>" I wasn't kidding, you know." She muttered, raising an hand to touch the rugged line crossing the brow, thumb running smoothly across it and sending jolt of electricity down the taller girl's spine. </p><p>Dina smiled at the tension in her friend's body.</p><p>"I really dig scars." She breathed out.</p><p>And suddenly, their skin weren't touching anymore and Dina was gone, leaving behind her a statue of hot coals.</p><p>Holy.</p><p>Fucking.</p><p>Shit.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi guys. Sorry it took so long I kept writting it over and over again because i never liked how it turned out. even now, I'm not too sure, but you guys will tell me if you like it or not.</p><p>I'M going to take a few days for the next chapters. This story is getting bigger than previousky thought and i need to think how I am going to do things.</p><p>Anyway. thanks for the kudos and comments, and enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Night has fallen by the time Ellie reached the point of rendezvous. Unlike what Ellie has been hearing all day, the sky was clear of all stars, or rather, they were covered by a thick, fluffy veil of gray clouds. It was gonna rain. Hard.</p><p>The perfect weather for the perfect night, grumbled Ellie in her thoughts.</p><p>She hasn't prepared for this. Sure, her trustworthy knife was tucked in her jeans pocket, the wooden handle barely showing. And sure, she made sure to eat and drink fully before coming. She was even able to sneak back to the shed for a quick nap before she had to take to cross the town. At least, Abby had had the decency to give her the money for the ride. Ellie would have been happy to ditch this suicide mission if she had to walk all the way here. The only silver linning of all this is that at least, she get to have a phone at the end. If she survives, she thoughts bitterly.</p><p>The night bus dropped her in the middle of a bare road just outside of town. About two miles afar, she could see the outlining of an illuminated building not quite fully erected. She couldn't see much, really. But the place gave her the creep.</p><p>So she stood there like an idiot, foot tapping furiously on the ground, waiting for her stupid friend to arrive. She had half a mind to bolt and let Abby deal with it. She'd take the beating from Abby over all this shit anytime.</p><p>Normal teenagers were home. It was friday, for fuck sake. She should be home reading comics, not out there about to step in the lion's cage.</p><p>That damn kid better be fucking alive.</p><p>She heard someone pull up behind her. The bike's tires screeched at it came to a stop to let the blonde get down safely. Ellie tilted her head, quirking her scarred eyebrow.</p><p>"Where did you find this bike?" She gestured to the shiny black thing lying on the floor.<br/>"Stole it." Abby mumbled, patting down her pants to make she hadn't lost anything.</p><p>Ellie rolled her eyes. " Of course you did. So what's the game plan? I want to get over it."</p><p>Abby motionned the younger girl to follow her. Hidden by the dark, they closed the distance between them and the building. The outlines became clearer as they got closer, and Ellie noticed that music were coming from the old building. Loud, but low enough not to be heard from the road. A camping fire had been ignited a few meters from their hideout. A couple of guys -she counted six - were laughing and drinking, unaware of the possibly upcoming rain. They were passing along a bottle of clear liquid Ellie guessed to be vodka and fuck, she could go for one right now.</p><p>"They look like a bunch of freaking hippies. You sure it's them ?" Ellie asked cautiously.</p><p>She didn't understand. They looked like homeless hippies and the Wolves literally had people of good families in their rank, and yet, the hippies dominated them ? Of course, Abby didn't know the whole story, but she was sure that Emily bitch was way more powerful that she thought.</p><p>"Don't underestimate them, shrimp." Her frien said, hiding behind a tree. "It's them alright."<br/>"Am I just supposed to walk up there and present myself ? Why would they even want me in their rank ?"<br/>"We don't need them to accept you. We need you to distract them long enough for me to sneak in and get the kid out." Abby explained with a scowl.</p><p>Ellie blinked, thinking hard for a moment, and her face scrunched.</p><p>"Okay, so I'm distracting them while you sneak in... how are you going to distract them for me to get out?"</p><p>The question was simple, really. So when Abby didn't answer, she turned to face her, and the look of shame on the taller girl didn't sit quite right to her.</p><p>"Abby..." came the warning tone.<br/>"I don't know, okay ! I-I-I didn't think about it yet." She blurted, hands bailed into fist and teeth clenching bashfully.</p><p>The redhead glowered at her in panic, eyes going wide at the revelation.</p><p>"What the fuck, Abby? You gotta be shitting me ! " Ellie spat, venom laced in each of her words. It took her everything not to yell at her and be heard by the whole gang. "You wanna send me in there without knowing out to get me the fuck out ???"<br/>"Gee, you kiss your mother with that mouth ?" Abby mumbled, concentrating on something on the building, eyes scanning the area.</p><p>Ellie was about to bash her head with her knife.</p><p>"Abby, fuck-fucking hell, I'm gonna ki-"<br/>"I'm going, I'm trusting you!"</p><p>And without letting her time to reply, Abby bolted out of their hiding place, joggimg quietly toward the building. Ellie watched her go with indignation written all over her face. Oh, she was so going to kill that bitch.</p><p>Without much of a choice, Ellie muttered every curse known to earth and walked toward them. She made an effort to look casual, hands deep in her pocket and wearing her best pokerface, even if she was boiling inside. The tight knot of anxiety inside her gut had bursted into a raging fire directed at the blonde.</p><p>What the fuck was she doing ?</p><p>"Hey." She said out loud, finally coming to a stop in front of the small group around the bonfire.</p><p>Six paires of eyes looked up, visibly shaken to see her, or anyone to be honest.<br/>One of the oldest stood up, standing straight despite the alcphol. He had a well kept beard and neatly shaved hair. Maybe they weren't a bunch of hippies after all.</p><p>"You lost, girl ? This is the Seraphite's property. So get lost." He warned, voice calm but stern, eyes wandering over her scrawny form, a slight confusion in his dark eyes.</p><p>Ellie gulped at the man. Fuck, he was massive. One punch and she would be out. She needed to play her cards right. She could not appear weak, but not be too cocky either. Fuck, she wished she had seen more gang related movies instead of those superheroes. Fuck, she misse those superheroes.</p><p>"Then I'm at the right place it seems. I'm El-err, I'm Diana." She blurted the first name that came to her: the name of Wonder Woman.</p><p>Fuck, Ellie, focus! It's not the time to think about this !</p><p>The man squinted his eyes at her, saying nothing, waiting for her to continue. Ever so subtly, Ellie's eyes checked him quickly for any weapon, but except for a chain hanging from his pants, he seemed bare. At least she wasn't going to be shot.</p><p>"I'm here to...enroll." she finished uncertaintly.</p><p>She kept her guard up, occasionnaly throwing a glance at the building for any sight of... anything, really, that would tell her Abby is done with her James bond shit. The party was still in full bloom inside, and Ellie had to admit, the music was good, some kind of voiceless techno.<br/>The man loomed over her, eyeing her over. His buddies behind him was watching carefully and if Ellie had to take a guess, the big man seemed to be some kind of low graded authority. No one spoke a word as he turned to look behind her.</p><p>"You alone?" He said roughly. " How did you come here? How did you heard of us?"</p><p>There was no hint of hesitation as he talked. Ellie actually had to give them credit: they weren't stupid. They were actually being pretty careful.</p><p>Her heart battered madly against her chest.</p><p>"I came throught the bus. I'm alone, as you can see. I, uh... heard about you guys from someone I know. See, I live in the street, and-"<br/>"Who told you about us ?" He inquired, not moving from his spot, but still incredibly intimidative.</p><p>She gulped. Dontblowthisupdontblowthisupdontblowthosup-</p><p>"I, uh, don't know his n-name." She stammered, getting nervous, green eyes reaching for the building with despair.</p><p>She felt something wet drop on her nose, but she dared not to look up to confirm that it was, indeed, starting to rain. The fire slowly died, leaving only the lights from inside to illuminate them. It didn't take long for the teen to be completely drenched, and fuck was it cold. Her hair stucked to her face, over and between her eyes. She hoped it made her look more intimidative, but she looked more like a wet puppy to the man's eyes. <br/>He studied her a moment, aware of his friends behind him. His shoulders relaxed slightly.</p><p>"What are you looking for here, kid?"</p><p>Seeing the man slump his frame brought a wave of relief in her core. Her hands weren't trembling anymore but her body were still tense from stress. One wrong move or word, and she as done for. There was still no sign of tje blonde haired adult and Ellie prayed to every god thst she didn't left without her.</p><p>If that was the case... well, she would be a Seraphite. She wasn't too pleased by the idea though.<br/>Regaining control of her voice, she spoke with a bit more courage and sincerity.</p><p>"Like I said, I live in the street. Someone.. a bad man is looking for me. "She admitted. " I-I had to run away. I have no one and I'm just looking for a family."</p><p>She saw something shift in the man's eyes. It was subtle and she almost missed it. His gaze seemed to soften and he raised a big hand, softly resting it on the top of her wet hair. She looked up, completely taken aback by the change of attitude.</p><p>"You are a lost sheep." He said. "May we help you find your way. May she guide you. Welcome in our rank, Diana. My name is Greg, and those behind me are Samuel, Jensen, Daniel, Albert and Frederico. "</p><p>Ellie stared hard at him, face blank of any emotion. Her mind was like an empty shell who had lost its host.</p><p>"That's it?" She asked slowly, raising a brow suspiciously.</p><p>He shrugged, suddenly way more casual.</p><p>"What were you hoping for, a ritual ? We're not in the sixties anymore." He mocked, and the teenager noticed he seemed much more young than she first thought, maybe in his mid thirty top.<br/>" Well..." she trailed.<br/>"To be fair, there is a ceremony." Greg precised bashfully. "But nothing you can't handle, just presenting you to all the family. How old are you kid?"</p><p>She was soaking wet for Christ Sake, but it didn't seem to faze the man. It was like the rain didn't even reach him, each drop invisible to his bulky frame. She cleared her throat.</p><p>"Uh... 16." She answered hesitantly, pleading for Abby to hurry the fuck up.<br/>"You're young. "<br/>"And you're old." She replied with a deadpan, bored look.</p><p>He was silent for a moment but the guys behind him snickered uncontrollably. Frederico nudged him with his elbow, laughing throught his teeth.</p><p>"She got you there ." He mocked,<br/>"Aren't you a funny one." He grumbled, somewhat still smilling. "We could use a bit of humor around here."</p><p>He put his meaty hand around her shoulders, and her heart immediatly raced. It took everything in her power not to shrug the contact away. She still had a character to keep.</p><p>"It's getting cold. Let's get inside, I'll present you to the others. Unfortunately, most of us are... away, for now. But I believe there's still Johanna. She's about your age, she'll show you everything you need to know."</p><p>Ellie started to panic. Wait, just how many people was still inside? Did Abby ran into them ? And fuck, she was supposed to keep them out. Think, Ellie, think!</p><p>"Wait!"</p><p>All men turned toward her, confused. The girl started to sweat under her coat despite the rain. She hoped that at least, the remaining people inside were all grouped togheter for the obvious party going on.</p><p>"How... how many are you, currently?" She questionned, trying to sound as casual as possible. "I'm kind of... uh... agoraphobe." She invented.</p><p>Greg seemed to think for a moment, counting quietly behind his beard.</p><p>"We're usually a little over two hundred, scattered all across town. But today ? An handful, really. Maybe 20 or so. Now let's get inside, it's freezing out there."<br/>"Wait, hold on-"</p><p>The music blaring throught her ears like an alarm suddenly stopped. The teenager lifted her panicked eyes toward the now silent building. The door cracked open and a bloody and bruised body flew out of it. Ellie looked at Abby tied up on the floor and felt every hair on her body erect in fear.</p><p>"Greg, look who we found sneaking around Yara." Said a large man, the one who threw the girl on the wet ground.<br/>"Abby!" Ellie cried out in reflex and her hand instantly flew to her mouth, but it was already too late.</p><p>It took only seconds for the guys she's been speaking to to understand the situation. Before she could make a run for it, she felt her hand being pulled forward and a fist crashed to the side of her face, almost snapping her head backward in the process. Blood pooled at the back of her throat as she fell on ground next to Abby. Despite the urgency of the situation, she inspected her friend throught blurry eyes. Her face was caked with blood like a second skin, eyes swollen so bad she couldn't even see her eyes. Both her lips were split and her nose visibly fractured. A terror like she never experienced before thundered down on her, sealing her throat shut and she became frantic with fear. </p><p>"Abby" She shudered, dread gnawning at her inside.</p><p>She was going to die. They were going to beat her to a pulp and leave her to die like an insect. Her eyes widened with alarm when she saw two heavy boots stand to each side of her face, cursing when one meaty hand took a hold of her ponytail, tugging on it like a teenage boy would a doll.</p><p>"Now, Diana, if it's your real name, you are going to tell me everything, and I mean, everything." Said Greg in a calm tone, the fire burning in his brown irises betraying his calmness.</p><p>Rain pourred on her body like ice, slipping throught her coat like paper. She leaned her forehead on the floor, concentrating on the pulsing pain on the side of her face. She ran her tongue over her teeth to make sure they were all there and she spat blood on the floor. She was terrified beyond words, but she was no coward.</p><p>"Or what ?" She pronounced throught gritted teeth, looking at Abby's lifeless body. " You gonna beat me up? I'm litterally a kid. Some... some big bad man you are." She croaked, glaring at her blonde friend with all the fury she could manage. If she was ever leaving this place, she'd made sure to give her own beating to her as well to have brought her into this shit.</p><p>She saw the man snarl and suddenly, the air was knocked out of her as he threw her forcefully on the ground. Around them, the crowd cheered him and insulted her in diverse languages. A foot was placed on her back to keep her from standing up.</p><p>"Don't make me repeat myself, kid. Why do you want that betraying piece of shit?"</p><p>His voice was cold, terrifying. It reminded her of David's, but much more gruff. Loathing bubbled wildly inside her, blinding all sense of judgement. It spreaded throught her veins like a wildfire, freezing her blood in its wake, leaving behind it numbness she often would force herself to feel when she was pinned down by David.</p><p>But she was stronger now. If she was going to die, she was going to give this bastard hell.</p><p>Pain prickled at her hroat as she let out a dry, humorless laught that took everybody aback. Her body shook at the gesture, but she didn't give a single fuck.</p><p>"Something funny?" Asked one of the man from earlier, Frederico, if she recalled.</p><p>She looked up from her place on the ground, arms shaking trying to lift herself up slowly.</p><p>"I ain't telling you shit. You're... you're just a bunch of pussies beating down on fucking teenager girls." She spat with defiance, her green eyes locked onto the pools of brown above her. Greg looked at her with amusement and he pressed harder on her back to keep her still. She groaned under the painful weight threatening to snap her spine.</p><p>"You've got a lot of guts, girl. Hell, your guts might be bigger than some guys balls here." He complimented, rubbing his boot in slow motion to make sure she bruised despite her coat.<br/>"Fuck you." She muttered, hating that feeling of helplessness. "Just kill me and get it over with."</p><p>A quivering jolt of pain shot her scalp when her hair were pulled again to their extreme. The pain was so horrible, she thought he would scalp her alive. She sensed him sniff her hair and her stomach cramped at disgust. She was going to kill him dead!</p><p>"Such beautiful hair you got there, teenie. Would be a shame if anything happened to it, uh?</p><p>She felt something tug at her hair, and her fear spiked.</p><p>"What are you doing?" She asked, supressing a shiver.</p><p>He smiled, and tugged harder. Ellie's senses were on overdrove, every nerve, every thought were being concentrated toward the pain in her head.</p><p>"Hair are really important for a young girl. So answer me or I will cut it. You don't want to loose that pretty girl's look, uh?"</p><p>Ellie felt tears burning at her eyes and for once, she was happy for the presence of the rain. She'd rather die than show them just how much fear and pain affected her. She took a big inhale, willing every muscle in her body to contract, trying to distract herself from the senseless throbbing of her scalp.</p><p>"Go ahead, fucker." She hissed throught her teeth, face scrunched into one of pride and determination. " Do what you gotta do 'cause there's no way in hell I'm gonna answer any of your fucking stupid question."</p><p>She heard him growl and she felt an harder tug at her hair before her head was sent crashing to the wet ground, pain radiating in waves from where he had yanked her. She saw what used to be her ponytail lying lifelessly near her, like an abandonned war trophy. Distress plucked at her heart at the sight but she had no time to think because one second later, a fist landed at her temple, and another one bursted her face to flame, iliciting a pained gasp to escape her lips. </p><p>Throught the stars veiling her vision, she saw something dark and heavy move toward her head and her face almost cracked open as it came in contact, knocking her out cold.</p><p>----------------------</p><p>She came to the sensation of something rubbing her foot. Her head pounded so much it felt like someone was drilling into it. She tried opening her eyes but only one would open all the way whereas the other was stucked half way and god did it hurt. Breathing in with difficulty, she took in her surroundings.<br/>It was still pitch black outside, except for one lone flashlight left on the floor.</p><p>"Dina... Dina..." She muttered weakly, throat dry and parched, her mind going back to the girl that charmed her way into her heart.</p><p>She closed her eyes again, wanting nothing more than to go back to sleep. Her face hurt bad, and yet it felt numb. Everything felt numb. If she could just... go back to sleep a little more...</p><p>"Ellie. Stay awake."</p><p>The voice seemed far, so far indeed she paid it no mind. She was decided to doze off again, rocked by the soft wind grazing her cold skin. It wasn't raining anymore, but she was so cold it felt almost good. No wonder she felt numb.</p><p>"Fuck kid, stay awake"</p><p>A foot tapped her own, harder this time. Curiosity taking over, she opened her eyes again and turned her bleeding face toward the annoying person, head hanging low. There was Abby, definitely awake and looking at her with concern. Ellie noticed just now their situation. They were tied up to a metal poll outside. Probably behind the building, away from prying eyes.</p><p>"Abby..." she muttered, laughing weakly. " You look like shit."<br/>"Seriously ?" She groaned, hissing at the pain in her jaw. " I could say the same thing to you."<br/>"Yeah... maybe..."</p><p>Ellie noticed someone else in front of her. It was a young girl, probably around her age. She laid on the floor, hands tied behind her back. Blue and red marked her skin and her left arm seemed broken, if she judged by the weird angle. She was completely out cold.</p><p>"Yara..." she muttered. "Is she-"<br/>"She's alive." The blonde woman answered just as low, shifting a bit her position. " Barely, though."</p><p>Ellie laid her back against the poll, digging throught her memory to recall just what the fuck happened. She was talking to that guy.... whatever the fuck he said his stupid name was... and then... there was Abby, and pain and...</p><p>She shook her head to see short locks dangling limply on each side of her head. Fuck. Her hair. Oh well. She's been meaning to cut it anyway.</p><p>"What happened to you?" Abby asked.</p><p>Ellie looked humorlessly at her, eyes squinting in a newfound anger.</p><p>"What the fuck happened to you!" She exclaimed, a bit more awake. "How the fuck did you get caught ? I knew it was a stupid idea." She grunted, struggling against her binds, ties bitting deep into her charred skin.<br/>"I don't know what happened... I was alone and-and suddenly someone was beating me over the head and-"<br/>"Fuck, I hope it didn't kill your last brain cell." Ellie joked, chest heaving painfully with each chuckle.</p><p>Abby shot her a deadpan look. Or what seemed to be a deadpan look. It was hard to tell with the swelling.</p><p>"I see he didn't knock your boring humor out." She hissed, hitting her feet with hers.</p><p>Ellie coughed between two laughts. She didn't even know why she was laughing. She was in deep shit. She was hurt all over and her face throbbed like hell. She wanted to cry, but all she could do was laught at the situation.<br/>Abby fixed her with worry shining throught exhausted eyes.</p><p>"Are you okay El?" Her tone was cautious, like talking to a frightened animal, afraid she might explode or something.<br/>"Why wouldn'I be okay?" She asked, almost too happily, looking down at her battered body and torn clothes. "Things are so fucking great! I'm sitting right here on this wet fucking floor, my face hurt so fucking much and we're going to fucking die! And maybe we're gonna be tortured too ! Like that kid over there! So yeah, things are fine! Tell me why the fuck wouldn' I be fucking okay?"<br/>"They really hit your head pretty hard back there, uh?" Abby spoke calmly, eyes going downward in shame. "I'm sorry it happened, kid... I just... I wanted to save her so bad, I-I didn't think this throught... Getting caught wasn't part of my plan."</p><p>Ellie suddenly stopped laugning, wheezing softly with her blood stuffed nose. Green eyes gazed mindlessly at the shy stars peeking out of the opressive clouds. At the abrupt silence, Abby turned to face her, curious. The side of the teenager's face was caked in dried blood, not unlike the second teenager lying limp on the ground.</p><p>They didn't say a thing for many, long, agonizing minutes, slowly realizing that there was no getting out of this one. The now short haired girl licked her lips, wincing at the taste of iron on her bitten tongue.</p><p>"Are we going to die ?" The question had been low spoken, almost a whimpered whisper as she let the words fly between them,</p><p>She was waiting for her friend to scoff and tell her to not be ridiculous, but when nothing came, she twisted her head to the side, prompting an answer from the defeated woman. Ellie was surprised to see her so slumped, eyes down and head hanging low. </p><p>" I... I don't know El." She answered truthfully, not daring to look her in the eyes. " I really don't know anymore."</p><p>Instead of answering verbally, Ellie nodded slowly, understanding the situation, she knew it too. Her days were counted, and they weren't going to be pretty but strangely enough, she couldn't bring herself to care. Maybe he did hit her too hard. It was difficult to think, let alone fanthom the future. She smirked sadly at the prospect.</p><p>"It sucks, you know. "She muttered, looking back at the stars. "Things were.... For once, things weren't so bad. I wasn't alone anymore. There's this guy, Joel. I met him a few weeks ago, started to sleep in his shed in his backyard. At first he scared me. He was like, big and tall, and weirdly concerned about me. And it scared me that a freaking stranger was treating me better than a member of my own family."<br/>"You never told me why you left."</p><p>They were both so exhausted, they could barely manage to talk, so they were whispering softly into the night, not even a meter separating them from each other. Ellie hesitated to tell her the truth, but then again, what would it change ?</p><p>"I never told the story to anyone." She admitted in a sigh and looking at the limp teenager in front of her, she was reminded of how many time she was beaten to submission before.<br/>"Wanna tell me ?" Abby shifted her position a bit to get closer to her friend until their shoulder touched, and the contact brought a sense of security to the younger girl.</p><p>"I.. my... uncle was.. is a priest. "She started dumbly, closing her eyes to remember his sick, dark eyes staring down at her like she was a monster. " My parents.. they died in a car accident." She shallowed the hard lump in her throat, heart throbbing at the vivid memory. " So they sent me to live with him. I was 12."</p><p>Abby nodded quietly. She too was leaning against the pole, eyes half closed with a tired look on her face. She was listening to her younger friend, and she could see how much it hurt her.</p><p>"And?" She trailed, prompting her to continue.<br/>"And what ? The guy's a freaking pedophile. Raped me, beat me, you name it. All because I was... well, gay. He would, like, pray to God while raping me and stuff. He's a fucking nutjob."</p><p>She laughted again, a dry and weary chuckle from deep within her throat.</p><p>"Everything just sucks, man."</p><p>Abby didn't know what to say. She too suffered a great loss. She knew how hard it was to get over grief.</p><p>"What 'bout you?" Ellie slurred, fighting to get over her desire to sleep.</p><p>Abby shrugged, fighting over sleep too.</p><p>"Not much to say. Dad died. Mom became crazy. Started to drink. Threw me out many times before it was for real. I became a fucked up kid after his death. Wouldn't be too proud of me now." She sighed, closing her swollen eyes.</p><p>"Abby?" Ellie whispered, turning her head toward her.<br/>"Hmm?"<br/>"Where did Suzy go after getting lost on a minefield?"</p><p>Abby lazily opened her eyes with annoyance.</p><p>"Everywhere," Ellie finished with a weak chortle.<br/>"I'll make sure they kill you first."<br/>"Ow. That's dark."<br/>"Not as dark as your morbid humor," The taller woman scoffed.<br/>"Please. Dark humor is ten kids in one container. Morbid humor is one kid in ten container."</p><p>Abby growled painfully.</p><p>"Okay guys, I'm ready to die now, come pick me !" She cried out in a fake mocking tone.<br/>"You love it." Ellie coughed, wincing at the pain in her ribs.<br/>"No I don't." Abby smiled, lips tainted red and black. "Nice hair by the way."<br/>"Nice face." She replied back, smirking at the sarcasm.</p><p>They let more time pass. The rain was thing of the past now, but it was so cold, it hurt to move. Ellie was about to doze off again when Abby spoke again, eliciting a groan from the redhead.</p><p>"You never shut up?" She mumbled grumpily.<br/>"Oh, shut it. I wanted to ask you about Dina."</p><p>Ellie frowned, and her head pounded harder at the gesture.</p><p>"How do you know about her ? Did you stalk me, creeper?"</p><p>She rolled her eyes. ""Yes, this is actually what I do in my spare time. I stalk your skinny ass."<br/>"I knew you always liked my ass." Ellie huffed proudly, feeling a bit lighter by the fun banter they were having.</p><p>Abby nudged her slightly with her shoulder, grunting because of the massive black bruise she sported there.</p><p>"You are so gross. I know about Dina because you kept muttering her name in your sleep. Who is she ? your girlfriend ? She asked teasingly, humored by the dark red shadowing Ellie's cheeks at the mention of girlfriend.</p><p>"She's not my girlfriend." She defended.. She's just... she's a friend who... is definitely not in love with me."<br/>"How'd you know?" Abby breathed out, watching her throught the corner of her eyes.</p><p>Ellie shrugged, imagining the way Dina's eyes would look if they opened wide in wonder at her sight. It probably will never happen.</p><p>"She has a boyfriend." She finally responded. "She probably won't even miss me when I'm gone."</p><p>Abby said nothing at first, staring at the younger girl im quiet wonder before a small smile formed on her busted lips.</p><p>"When you're goooooone... the pieces of my heart are missin' you..."<br/>"Fuck no. Shut up." Ellie croaked, struggling hard to get free of her binds.<br/>"When you're gooone... the face I came to know is missin' too."</p><p>Despite the situation, Ellie started to laught loudly, a full belly laught that hurt her more than anything, but for the love of God, she couldn't stop.</p><p>"Comon. Sing too." Abby prompted, teeth showing throught her grin.</p><p>And for a moment, they forgot in how much trouble they were. They didn't care how injured they were. They felt almost high, as if they had drank a full bottle of vodka. Their minds were too foggy to conjure up any excuse as to why they shouldn't joke around in ennemies territory.</p><p>"When you're gooooone, the words I need to hear,<br/>To always get me throught the day<br/>And make it okaaaayyyyy<br/>I miiiiiiss youuuu..."</p><p>When you're- oh fuck I fucked it up." Ellie groaned in a toothy smile. I FORGOT THE WORDS!!! SO SORRY GUYS!!!'</p><p>Abby threw her head back in laughter, belly and chest heaving in powerful contraction. They giggled their heart out until a man came out of the building, looking at them with angry puzzlement.</p><p>"Is there a party in here? Have you girls lost your damn mind ?!?" He roared so hard he became red in the face, veims threatening to pop out of his skin.</p><p>The blonde haired prisonner looked up at him like he just said something incredibly funny and puffed incontrolably, unable to hold back the chuckles.</p><p>"He-he looks like-"<br/>"He looks like a fucking lobster man," the teenager finished for her, grin too big for her beaten up face.</p><p>The man didn't seem to find any of this funny. He grabbed the younger girl by the shirt and pulled back a fist.</p><p>"I'll show you fucking funny!"</p><p>Ellie's heart stopped and she didn't have time to let fear settle in that she was punched straight between her eyes, sending her head hit the poll so hard she lost consciousness one more time and her body went limp.</p><p> </p><p>--------------------------------</p><p>Ellie opened her eyes for the second time in few hours. The pounding headache had left and an breathtaking migrainr had taken its place, battering even harder against her skull. The throb was so bad it numbed every other injuries she had. There was nothing Ellie could possibly do to stop the knife that was twisted deep into her brain. She rolled around in the bed, groaning like a Decaying corpse. That is, only she slowly came to the realisation that she wasn't outdoors anymore. More so, judging by the softeness under her body, she definitely wasn't lying in a ditch like an insect.</p><p>Maybe I'm dead, she told herself dumbly, not wanting to open her eyes and see for herself if she went to heaven or straight to hell.<br/>Was she dead ? She definitely remembered the fist heading straight toward her face. Slowly bringing a hand up, she touched the area and she gritted her teeth as pain errupted from a huge bruised bump. <br/>She tried furrowing her brow bur she quickly discovered that was a big no-no.</p><p>"Ellie? Wake up, Williams "</p><p>The sound of her family name sent a shiver creeping down her spine that froze every veins in her body. Carefully, she opened her eyes.<br/>She almost thought she was going to see a burning wasteland with demons flying around torturing people. She almost thought David would be there for her own personal hell, grinning down at her with sinful intentions.<br/>But she found Abby instead, face patched up and covered in white bandages. She blinked a couple of times to get rid of the stars at the edge of her sight, wondering if she was dreaming.</p><p>"Are you okay?" Abby asked, reaching to grab the teenager's face, hoping it would bring her back faster into consciousness.<br/>"Abby?" She croaked before she coughed. "O-oww fuck..."<br/>"Hey, take it easy kid. You're fine, you're safe. You're safe." She repeated softly.</p><p>When she finally came into focus, she was able to sit up with the help of her friend, head on edge of bursting at the sudden shift in the bloodflow.</p><p>"Here, take this, it will help with the pain."</p><p>Abby handed her three white colored pills that Ellie swallowed without hesitation. She would do anything for the migraine to go away.</p><p>"Where am I? What happened? Are we... are we dead ?"</p><p>Abby rolled her eyes at her, amused at her friend's dramatic thoughts.</p><p>"Do I look like Jesus to you? We're not dead, idiot. We're at Mel's.<br/>"Who'sMel?" She slurred, closing her eyes, eagerly waiting for the medication to work.<br/>"She's a member of the WLF. She's studying to be a doctor. She's a... friend." She answered, hesitating a bit on the last part, wincing as if the word had left a disgusting taste in her mouth.<br/>"What happened?"</p><p>Ellie was so confused. One moment she was outside, drenched from a pouring rain and now she was laying on the softest bed in the world.</p><p>"We got rescued. Owen, Nora, Mel..."<br/>"Who do I need to kiss?" Ellie joked throught the pain, her own relief sipping throught the tiny smile on her face.<br/>"I bet Owen's wouldn't be too much agains't it."<br/>"Eh, never kissed a guy before. Is it better than a girl?"<br/>"I don't know, I never kissed a girl before." Abby shrugged, reaching on the small table next to Ellie for a bottle of water. As she drank, Ellie took a moment to replay the recent events in her head, and it dawned on her that she almost literally died. She got captured, beaten, tied up. It was a wonder she wasn't having a huge panic attack right now. Maybe later, because everything still felt like a nightmare.</p><p>"You look look like shit." Ellie said, admiring the patchwork of blue, red and black on her bulky frame.</p><p>Abby snorted and took an handmirror in the drawer, positionning it in front of the teenager.</p><p>"Have you actually seen yourself, El?" She mocked.</p><p>All Ellie could do was gape at her reflexion, if it was really her, because she couldn't recognize herself in the mirror. The upper part of her nose and right eyes were colored in black and dark blue, it was as if someone had smudged paint directly on her face. There was a huge, tender bump where the last fist had hit, preventing her from moving her eyebrows. Her lower lips was busted, she had a huge bruise at the corner of her jaw but what stood the most was the chappy, short hair over her head that stopped just above her shoulder. She touched it with a shaky hand, grunting at the knots.</p><p>"What are you talking about ? I look great." She mumbled, eyes continuing to stare at her own face in disbelief.<br/>"Sure, dork." Abby pulled the mirror away, shifting in her chair.<br/>"Where is Yara? I swear to God if the kid's dead, I-"<br/>"She's right next to you."</p><p>Ellie's head snapped to the side, wincing slightly at the headache but the pills seemed to have kicked in already. On another bed, the older sister of Lev was sleeping soundly, arm in a cast and wrapped up in bandage like a mummy. Ellie sighed in relief, rubbing her eyes.</p><p>"I wanna leave." She said, not wanting to be here any longer.<br/>"You sure?" Abby asked with a quirked eyebrow, wondering where the hell tje girl wanted to go.<br/>"Yeah. I don't wanna stay here." She spoke dumbly, uncovering her legs and standing up, at first shakily and then more confidently after a few seconds.</p><p>After making sure her friend wasn't going to fall on her face, Abby called for Owen, explaining to her that he would take her where she needed to be. <br/>The guy was tall, as tall as Abby with maybe a few more years. He had short brown hair and a stubble on his chin. When he saw the girl awake, he tried to convince her to go lie down and take it easy for a bit but Ellie wouldn't hear any of it. She wanted to get as far away as possible.</p><p>Owen accepted reluctantly and Ellie asked Abby if she could be part of the ride, not trusting the man enough to be alone with him. She accepted happily and if she didn't know Abby, she'd say it's because she wanted to be with the guy.<br/>When he asked her where she wanted to go, the teenager hesitated a little. Realistically, there was no where she could go, but emotionally, she knew the place and she pointed it.</p><p>On the ride back, Owen explained her everything that had occured while she was out; how he had taken the guy down with his bare hands, how he had worried over Abby with her suicide mission - which Ellie actually snorted in fake mock - and he even babbled over the point that he thought that he was, too, going to be captured when he had heard footsteps, only to find out it was his girlfriend Mel and their common friend Nora.</p><p>Ellie had tuned them out at some point, playing and replaying the events in her head like a curse, the reeling fear and trauma slowly creeping up on her. She fisted her hands to stop her from shaking, a familiar but unwelcome warmth in her mouth made her mouth run dry at the idea of an upcoming anxiety attack. It was like, once adrenaline had been pomped out of her body, she realized just how reckless and dangerous everything had been.</p><p>Owen finally stopped in front of a house, and before he could turn around to wish her well, she was already out the door. The man had made a move to go out and help her seeing her troubled state, but the blonde had stopped him in his track, motioning him to drive forward, her eyes never letting go of Ellie's back until she was out of sight.</p><p>Ellie walked to the house's porch, stumbling a few times. Breathing had became strenuous and she started to pound at the door like a madman, anxiously waiting for it to open. She didn't know why she came here. She just wanted to, she wanted to hear his voice and-and see his face and-and-and fuck, she didn't know! She just wanted to be someplace safe, but wait-was she safe here ? She couldn't ponder too long on the question because the door opened on a very sleepy and grumpy Joel. Ellie suddenly remember the date and time. Saturday morning. No wonder he was still groggy.</p><p>However, his gruffiness disappeared as soon as he saw her on his porch, breathing heavily and covered in injuries. As he looked her over in shock, Ellie found it in herself to find the situation a bit funny. It was probably the last thing he intended to see and it seemed to have woken him up better than any coffee.</p><p>"Ellie... what... what the hell happened to you?" He stammered, big hands instinctively reaching for her scrawny shoulders.<br/>" I-I was.. I don't know how- it was so- and then... then I was hit and-and-" She found it hard to put her thoughts into words, tears starting to dripple down her cheeks on their own will.<br/>"Come inside." He ushered, trying to calm his own breathing as he let her in, closing the door behind her.</p><p>The teen fell on her knees, clutching her stomach as if she was going to be sick, and she totally would if she had anything left in her. Her body shook, jolting electricity in every nerves, sending painful shocks in her brain. Her body hurt so much and she felt so alone and scared. Joel looked at her in panic and concern and for a momemt, he was at loss of words, not knowing what to do to calm this panicked teen on his floor. Ellie leaned against the wall, uncontrolable sobs racking her broken body, face twisted into one of utter despair.</p><p>Joel kneeled in front of her and took her bruised cheeks between his hands, surprised that she didn't pull back. She just kept staring at him with tears filled eyes and he looked back with the softest eyes he could manage. He felt her claw at his clothes like he was her lifeline and she just kept drowning and sputtering</p><p>"Ellie, please. Tell me what happened."</p><p>Ellie moved her mouth to speak, but nothing except broken sobs came out. She covered her knees with her arms and felt the world crumbling around her. She just wanted to bury a hole in the ground and fucking die.</p><p>"I'm tired of this, Joel." Was all she was able to croak out before a violent sob took over her.</p><p>Joel's heart was broken to see this usually strong, foul mouthed girl so devastated in front of him. He looked about for a moment before an idea strucked him. He got up and disappeared a few seconds, stomping as he hurried in another room. He came back with a fluffy white blanket that he tossed over her shivering shoulders and the neck of a guitar in one hand.</p><p>He sat on a chair near the girl, and rested his hand on her scratched arm.</p><p>"Focus on me and my voice, okay?"</p><p>When she showed sign of having heard him, he dipped his head down and strummed lightly on the chords, letting the relaxing notes flows around them like a blanket of sound. The room was soon filled to the brim with his voice low and hoarse and it laid bare in a symphony of words.</p><p>"The sun is hanging low across the street<br/>As we're fighting, loving, talking in the heat<br/>We're all walking home barely<br/>Everyday we'll meet, everyday we'll meet, do the same."</p><p>Astounished beyond words, Ellie had lifted her head from the covers, hands tightly bailed around the soft tissu. She was staring awestruck at the man. She didn't know he could sing and while he was no Johnny Cash, his tone had such raw emotions that it distracted her from the burning in her chest, and the anxiety freezing her spine and numbing her limbs.</p><p>"I can sing you a song, take you home<br/>But I can't seem to find my own<br/>I can sing you a song, take you home<br/>But I can't seem to find my way home"</p><p>Ellie's breathing had diminished throughout the song, she was now gazing at him all doe eyed and dumbstruck. It was evident that of all the things she had intended for him to do, it had been the last thing on her mind. Seeing her calmer but still clawing her nails into her skin, he stood a bit awkwardly and lessened the pression around her arms, letting the hands fall back at her side.</p><p>"Are you better?" He asked, eyeing her for any other injury he didn't see.<br/>"What was that?" Ellie blinked, slowly getting control over her body again, but shaking under her dampened clothes.<br/>"A song." He shrugged, a slight red over his weathered cheeks. "How are you feeling?"<br/>"Better." She breathed, barely above a whisper. "Can I get near the fire?"</p><p>He looked over at the fireplace and nodded, helping her along. She was tucked tight under the blanket, and sat near the warmth of the fire, closing her eyes in delight as her skin burned under the flames. She had been so cold, she never wanted to move from there.</p><p>She stayed like it a long time, staring into the depth of the fire, eyes burning but couldn't find the energy to care. The panic attack had left her drained and emotionally numb. She heard woods cracking beside her, and the older man sat beside her, holding her a mug of hot chocolate.</p><p>"Thought you might need it. My, uh, daugther would always ask for hot chocolate when she was feeling upset."<br/>Ellie closed her eyes and runned the skin between her eyebrows. There was something in Joel's tone that was so recomforting, and yet, it felt odd to hear him say that. It was like she was supposed to slip into a role of the lost daughter, and she needed to make things clear with this man.</p><p>"Joel, I'm... I'm not your daughter." She reveled, looking down at her fumbling hands, avoiding his gaze. "I'll never be. My dad was the best dad in the world and he died. My parents are dead and-and I'm no one's daugher. Fuck, I-I don't even know you! What's stopping you for assaulting me ? I don't... I don't even..."</p><p>If she had looked, she would have seen a flash of hurt in the man's eyes, quickly replaced by understanding. He looked down at the mug in his hand, not knowing what to say. He worked the muscles in his jaw, side looking at the angsty teenager at his side. She reminded him so much of Sara, it hurt. The girl had been a sweet kid, but had turned to sour in her teenage years. She still was his little girl in his heart, and she hadn't appreciated how mama bear he was with her. Ellie seemed like a brave and independant kid, but it hurt his parent's heart so much to see what she had to deal with every day. He didn't want to think what that man had done to her, but he supppsed it was nad enough for her to run away. Truth to be told he had an idea, but it was so terrifying to think about he didn't want to dwell on it.</p><p>"I'm not tryin' to be... that." He muttered, and Ellie could sense he was being sincere. " I just want to help you-"<br/>"But why!" She yelled, staring back at him with anger. " Why do you wanna help me so bad! I'm just some dumb kid-"<br/>"Like you said, you're just a kid. You went throught things that no kid-"<br/>"So it's pity " she spat, crossing her arms in disbelief.<br/>"Ellie." He interrupted, using his stern dad voice that shut her up good, her face conveying all the indignation she felt at the tone of his voice. "Listen to me. I want to help you. Sometimes, people they, uh, they just want to help and ask nothin' in return. I'll never ask you to do anything. Just... you are sixteen. Not twenty or thirty. At sixteen, I was playin' guitar to impress the girls, what are you doing at sixteen?" He asked seriously.<br/>"...Getting myself involved with a gang ?" She answered hesitantly,the thought of them coming back for her sending a chill down her back.<br/>"... what?"</p><p>Taking the mug from him and sipping into the hot liquid, Ellie slumped her shoulders in defeat.</p><p>"I was, uh... taken by a gang. The Seraphites. They kidnapped me, beat me and tied me up." It felt so odd to voice out loud the events of yesterday. It wzs so vivid in her memory, it was like she was still back there, at their mercy. She gingerly ghosted her fingers over the massive bruise on her face, eyes glazing over.</p><p>"I'm so scared, Joel. I-I feel like I'm fucking slipping away. Sometimes I just wanna... you know what, forget it. I don't even know why I should tell you anything. No one fucking cares about me."</p><p>Yup, definitely like Sara. He had heard those same angsty words from her so often, back when she was alive. But it was Ellie, and this teen had much more reason to be angsty. </p><p>Ellie ran her hands throught her hair in frustration. She felt so conflicted, holding onto the hope that maybe, just maybe, Joel Miller could be the one to fill that empty hole in her heart that her parents created by dying on her. She knew that her relation with her parents weren't the best in their last days. She was growing into a teenager and she didn't want her parents to latch onto her like a kid anymore. It's funny how she missed it now.<br/>Of course, as much as she hated the idea, she trusted him. He was kind, and brought her a sense of comfort and safety that only her dad had been able to give. She hadn't been given a real hug in so long, she forgot how it felt to have gentle arms wrapping around her, seeking nothing but ease her troubled mind.</p><p>She didn't want to trust him, she wanted to hate Joel. She really wanted to. But she kept coming back to him, for his soothing words and the feelings of home it brought her. And despite everything good that used to come off of it, home also meant that she lost everything now. So much that she felt at home in a stranger's house.</p><p>Joel shook his head in disbelief and didn't push the subject. He was tired and it was still so early. He just wanted to crawl back to bed.</p><p>"Tell you what, kid. I'll bring you a whole lotta blankets and I'll let you sleep in front of the fire, you're dead on your feet, and freezing. Then I'm taking you for lunch How'd you like that?</p><p>Ellie couldn't help the tiny smile to form on her face.</p><p>"I'd like that."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Growing up, Ellie had been certain of two things: one, that she was attracted to girls. This one was a given, and she had known that all her life. And the second thing that she was aware of, is that she was a fucking awkward mess. She found herself at loss of word, and she had only one thought in mind: this girl was freaking gorgeous. </p><p>She looked down at the light jacket she was wearing, short hair swaying lightly at the more warm than cool air of this beautiful october day. A brown stain had splashed all across the fabric and a little bit in her neck and she hissed a bit as the coffee burned the skin.</p><p>"Oh shit."</p><p>Looking back up, Ellie stared dumbly at the woman looking back at her with a dumbfounded expression on her face, black eyes scanning each area of the redhaired teenager face. To her furrowed scarred brow, a slight glance at the shoulders lenght hair and down to the new, small scar across her nose due to the too recent attack from the Seraphites that still burned every dream to a nightmarish hell.</p><p>"Oh fuck, I'm so sorry man."</p><p>Ellie studied her. She was beautiful. The short, cropped jet black hair perfectly framed a rounded, smooth skinned face. The girl sported a pair of dark blue glasses that sat on a small nose, slightly tainted red from the very light cold.</p><p>Between their feet laid a crumpled cup of Mcdonald's coffee, now emptied of its content.</p><p>"Are you okay ? You keep staring at me." The woman said, smirking at her with both amusement and confusion.</p><p>Oh fuck.</p><p>"I'm Ellie." She blurted out lout for lack of better response, suddenly finding the hole in her right sneaker much more interesting.</p><p>The laught that came out of the other girl's lips was one of the most beautiful sound she ever heard. Well, next to Dina's of course. This one was a bit raspier, though, and she had a small chinese accent, but barely.</p><p>"I didn't ask for your name." She replied, smile tugging at the corner of her lips, looking up and down at the nervous teenager in front of her, playful eyebrow lifted upward.<br/>
"I..."</p><p>What came out was a mess of uninteligible words. Ellie knew she was being stupid right there, and that she was acting like a fool. Seeing just how much she was struggling, the stranger offered her hand.</p><p>"I'm Cat. Cat Yan. It means "tight"." She added with a low, sultry voice, watching with delight as Ellie literally burned on the spot at the subtle meaning.</p><p>Ellie felt every inch of skin burn under the smile and the dark eyes towering over her, and literally over her: she was tall. A bit taller than herself, more curvy too. And definitely older.</p><p>Not knowing what to say, Ellie literally turned around so Cat was facing her back and she hide her mouth with her right hand, eyes flaring a hole in the concrete. What the fuck was that ? What on earth was that ? Ellie knew she was oblivious sometimes but this woman ? This woman was clearly flirting. She was flirting so fucking bad and Ellie had no idea how to deal with that. She was even worst than Dina.</p><p>She heard Cat cough behind her to get her attention and Ellie spun around, trying to hold her gaze. But the asian woman was now wearing a more genuine, polite grin.</p><p>"I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. And for your coffee. And your jacket. I wasn't looking where I was going. Here, let me help you." She said, digging into a brown vintage messenger bag and pulling out a handkerchief.</p><p>Ellie went to grab it but the girl slapped her hand away, grabbing the collar of the jacket for a better hold while she cleaned forcefully the mess.</p><p>"I can do it." Ellie pleaded, trying to grasp at the fabric.<br/>
"Stop moving Green Eyes. " She responded, smiling wide when Ellie's body tensed when she rubbed at the stained neck.</p><p>Ellie let her arms drop on each side of her body, and she stood so still she felt like a damn tree. Part of her felt stupidly happy that she noticed the color of her eyes. Cat tossed her head back a little and Ellie bit her lip, looking far up to avoid the black eyes of the taller woman.</p><p>Bystanders passed them, but none were paying attention to the interraction. At this point, she just wished someone would pull her out of it. Even a Seraphite would be welcomed.</p><p>"There you go cutie. You'll still need to clean it at home. Can't help you much with that."</p><p>Ellie's cheeks went hot red. Now, she didn't have any gay radar, and was fairly oblivious to a lot of things, but this woman ? She was gay as fuck, and somehow, that made it all the more awkward.<br/>
Ellie nodded dumbly, still unable to say anything and as she went to run the fuck away from here so she could dug  a hole and die of embarassment, she felt a warm hand pulling her back softly.</p><p>"Wait. Let me pay you another one. That's the least I can do." There was a spark in her eyes that Ellie totally missed. She sucked at reading people's emotions.</p><p>"You... don't need to do that." She mumbled, still refusing to look at her.<br/>
" Comon ginger. I insist." She grinned and before she could answer, she was pulled along, almost tumbling forward as Cat brought her to her vehicle.<br/>
Ellie's mind went reeling at the sight of a beautiful motorcycle, just as black as its owner's eyes. She gawked at the paint work, barely noticing when Cat shoved an helmet in her useless hands.</p><p>"I'm not sure if-"<br/>
"Comon." Cat insisted again, taping the padded area behind her.</p><p>Ellie hesitated. Sure, the woman was scaring the shit out of her. In a good way, she thought curiously. But then, the broken part of her somberly thought that maybe, just maybe, that woman was a Seraphite. She knew she needed to be careful since... that day still gave her nightmare and she would wake up at night sweating and screaming, clothes cligging to her like a second skin.</p><p>But the woman's smile was so genuine and straightforward. She did not seem to have a mean bone in her body, except maybe for the relentless teasing.<br/>
And Ellie could afford that, right ? She really wanted that coffee after this bad night and, well, the girl was freaking gorgeous and she was inviting her for a coffee.</p><p>To hell with it.</p><p>She slipped her helmet on, wrapped her arms around the other girl's stomach and the motorcyle roared to life.</p><p>---------------------</p><p>"So... you're homeless, right?"</p><p>One second, Ellie Williams had been sipping peacefully her coffee without a care in the world, taking in the sweet taste of the sugary drink. And the next, she was chocking and spluttering, threatening to spit it all on the other girl's face. Ellie stared at Cat's amused feature with a mix of schock and horror.</p><p>"What ? N-no!" She tried to defend herself, but it came out as a weak, stammering whimper. "You're crazy."<br/>
"Is that so?" Cat smirked, leaning her head on her hand  "Then why aren't you in school?"<br/>
"I, uh, skipped." Ellie invented.<br/>
"Don't lie to me Green Eyes. I saw you before. In the homeless shelter." She reveled, bringing her own cup of black coffee to her lips.</p><p>Ellie felt her heart pump in her chest, and for a moment, her mind went blank, trying and failing miserably to come up with something, anything, to convince the woman otherwise.</p><p>"It... wasn't me." She mumbled.<br/>
"Hm ? Comon. I would never forget such a pretty face."</p><p>Ellie furrowed her brow. She didn't know what to think of this outspoken, older woman.</p><p>"Okay, fine !" She barked, throwing her arms in the air furiously. " I'm a freaking itinerant. So what ? Gonna throw me some bread and make me dance for it ? She asked, trying to ease the ache of her hurt pride. She hated the fact that the beautiful woman knew about that. She must be thinking she was some charity case or something. "Why were you even there in the first place? Avoiding her gaze, she focused her eyes on the awesome, colorful tattoos on her arms instead, tracing every lines and details.</p><p>Cat brought her hands up in defense, confused at her sudden outburst.</p><p>"Hey, relax Wild Cat. It's not like I was stalking you. I go there every saturday to help out. And I noticed you sleeping there some times ago."<br/>
"And yet, among all the people, you remember me ? Ellie inquired, eyebrow lifted in suspicion, mind immediatly going back to the Seraphite's threat pinning over her head.<br/>
"Well, like I said, hard to forget a face like yours." Cat retorted, staring intantly at the younger girl's features. Ellie squinted her eyes at her and leaned forward a bit.</p><p>"Are you hitting on me ?" She asked seriously, the question leaving a nest of hungry butterflies in her stomach.<br/>
"I thought it was pretty obvious." Cat answered, playing with the extremity of her choppy black hair."</p><p>Ellie eyed her up and down.</p><p>"How old are you ?"<br/>
"How old do you think I am ? She asked teasingly, bringing her mug to her lips and watching Ellie do the same with a scowl.<br/>
"I don't play this game, it's a trap."</p><p>Cat laughed, a genuine and true laught that made the teenager feel giddy inside, as much as she was trying to hide it.</p><p>"I'm 18, dummy."</p><p>"You know that I'm 16, right ?"<br/>
"So what ?" The woman shrugged nonchalently, eyes staring mindlesly and something in her coffee.<br/>
"So you're a pedophile."</p><p>Cat chuckled at that, and hit the table with the palm of her hand.</p><p>"You're funny."<br/>
"I should call the police."<br/>
"Will you, though ?" Cat turned to face her completely, mouth tugged upward in a beautiful, teasing smile. Ellie felt her shoulders slump a little, entirely taken by the face in front of her. Her mind briefly wandered over Dina and she couldn't help but compare the two. Ellie's relationship with Dina was great. While they couldn't always hang out as much as they wanted to, the other girl always made an effort to bring Ellie a little bit more into her life. Inviting her to a dinner at her place, paying her a pastry once in a while, begging her to listen to her favorite music. She was teasing but caring.</p><p>She had completely lost her shit when she had seen Ellie covered in bruises and scrapes, few days after her altercation with the Seraphites. Jesse had stayed still, gaping at the beaten up face of the girl while Dina had run to her, poking her face gently and asking her what had happened. Of course, she had lied and told her she was jumped by a gang on her way home. Dina had lectured her sternly on her recklessness, muttering something about always wandering around town and Ellie had found insanely cute the way her thick eyebrows would scrunch over the bridge of her nose.</p><p>"You know El, I know I told you I liked scars, but it's no reason to try and get more." She had said, half jokingly and worriedly, small fingers ghosting over the scar at her eyebrow.</p><p>Then she had offered her to take care of her hair. It had been quite nice and Ellie had loved that intimate moment. No one but Dina and herself, gentle fingers scratching at her scalp once in a while. She got quite an earful from the girl who had stared at her injuries like they were life threatening.<br/>
Dina had ran her hand over her shorter mane, and smiled in a way that had made Ellie's heard flutter.</p><p>"You're even prettier that way." She had told her in a tone of confidence, her eyes never leaving hers.

</p><p>She was flirty, she noticed. Cat was the straightforward type, confidence seeping from every pore, a smile that reached her eyes so greatly they shone under the morning light.</p><p>"I won't." She answered, lowering her eyes to her mug, feeling so small compared to Cat.</p><p>The woman smiled knowingly and finished her mug, ordering another one as soon as she tasted the last drop. Ellie's scarred eyebrow shot in the air at that.</p><p>"Don't drink too much, grandma, you gonna have a heart attack." Ellie spoke, admiring the way Cat's face tensed a bit, before it tore into a playful grin.<br/>
"Oh, you're sassy. I like it." She admitted with a wink, knowing full well the effect she had on the smaller girl.</p><p>Ellie fumbled with her fingers, speechless. Cat knew she was in the street, and yet, it didn't seem to faze the older girl, who was chugging on another cup of coffee, licking her lips to savor the taste. Ellie watched as the pink membrane grazed over her thin and pale lips, doing a subtle flick before it retreated into its cave.</p><p>"Like what you see Freckles?" Cat's voice lingered in the air, and Ellie's cheeks became a new whole shade of red, one that she was sure didn't even exist.<br/>
"Sh-shut up." She murmured between gritted teeth, looking at everything but her.<br/>
"You're really pretty."</p><p>Ellie looked up, startled. It wasn't something that was often said about her. Of course, Dina would call her Hot Stuff or Cutie all the time, but it was Dina; she'd tell it to anyone who had two eyes, a nose and a mouth.<br/>
But coming from Cat, it seemed so genuine. The way the black eyes would linger on her face, taking every detail with utmost care and attention. It made her feel important. And yet, Dina was always at the back of her mind,</p><p>But Dina loved Jesse. Jesse would always come first.</p><p>"You think so ?" She asked shyly, trying to invest more interest in the interraction.<br/>
"I don't make that shit up." She replied, a bit more relaxed and casual in her words and actions.<br/>
"So, uh, you into teenagers?" Ellie tried to joke, but it wasn't funny, and Cat laughed anyway, eyes closing briefly as enticing chuckles escaped from her mouth.<br/>
"I'm not into teenagers, Ellie. I'm into you. That's different. Beside, I'm only two years older. I'm basically a teenager myself. Who get to buy beers and go to clubs." She added with a proude smile.</p><p>Ellie's mind went reeling at the revelation.</p><p>"But you don't know me." She breathed out, heart beating quicker and quicker.</p><p>Cat leaned in, eyes brighter than before. Dark hair clouded her forehead, and thin frames reflected Ellie's puzzled face.</p><p>"I'd like to get to know you."</p><p>On these words, she grabbed a napkin and scribbled something on it before sliding it across the table to Ellie who stared at it stupidly.</p><p>"I don't know if you have access to a phone, but I'd really like you to keep this."</p><p>This time, it was Ellie's turn to smile in triomph. Her hand disappeared in her pocket, keeping her face turned toward a smiling but curious Cat.</p><p>"In a matter of fact, I do." She dug out a small, out of fashion black phone.</p><p>Few days after the incident, Joel had come to the shed right after he had spotted her coming. He had brought her a few bottles of soda and a small contraption in his large hand.</p><p>"Some blonde lass told me to give you this... ring any bell?" He had asked, scratching the back of his thick neck.</p><p>Ellie had been beyond excited. Of course, she had made sure it worked and she had tested it with Joel's number ( the old man had been assured that she would keep his number so she could reach him in the odds something happened and she had rolled her eyes at that). It was nothing fancy, but she was at least able to have a social life.</p><p>Cat leaned back , right hand clutching her mug while her other tattooed arm was sprawled across the lenght of the booth's back.</p><p>" Well, look at you, Green Eyes. You're all geared up." She smiled, watching the redhead put her number in. "Does that mean I get another date?"</p><p>Ellie blushed but couldn't help the grin to form on her lips. She liked her. She was really nice to look at and Ellie had to admit that it was refreshing to know that another person was interested in her. She had been pinning her whole childhood on this black girl, Riley. But she had never spared her a second glance.</p><p>This woman, on the other hand, was watching her with interest in her eyes and a joke on her tongue. Sure, she made her embarassed as fuck, but Ellie had no experience in love. She could understand how funny it would be to pick on someone like that.</p><p>They talked for hours like old friends, each sitting on one side of the table while life carried on in that small town's cafe. They ordered food and drinks, sharing stories and jokes. Aside for the relentless teasing, Ellie found the older woman to be a very interesting person.</p><p>"So, you're like, a tattoo artist?" Ellie asked eagerly, staring at Cat's arms as she twisted them around for the teenager to see.<br/>
"Yup." The asian girl nodded,  smiling at the girl's interest. "Would you consider one ?"</p><p>Ellie looked up at her, surprised, and Cat noticed how she was actually pondering the question. Her lips thinnied and she looked thoughtfully at the window beside them.</p><p>"Yeah, I mean, I never considered it, but I would like it."<br/>
"I could give you one." She offered slyly, taking Ellie's long arm to trace a line with her finger, from the crease of her inner elbow to the faint veins of her wrist, sending goosebumps all of the lenght of Ellie's spine who peeked up from her arm to look at the black eyed girl.</p><p>"I believe it would fit you well."<br/>
"B-but d-doesn't these things cost, like, a lot ?"She stammered, perturbed at how one innocent, simple touch could make her feel so weak.<br/>
Cat shrugged. "Yeah, but, you're cute. And I kinda like you."<br/>
"Do you offer this to every girl you find cute?" Ellie retorted with a nervous laught.</p><p>Cat lifted the corner on her lips, keeping hold of Ellie's arm.</p><p>"Only those I intend to date."</p><p>Okay, it was going so fast Ellie could feel herself sliding on thick ice. She gulped down a lump, her hands suddenly being way more interesting. They had talked so much, and strangely enough, they fitted so well. Ellie never felt like that with anybody  and it was a strange feeling to consider someone like the missing piece of a puzzle. A piece she hasn't specifically been searching, but it was a nice welcome.</p><p>"I..." she licks her lips anxiously, a faint blush on her pale skin. " I never dated before."<br/>
"You? Comon, I don't believe you."<br/>
"Hard to date when you're in the street, uh?" She joked, a grimace hiding behind mock indiference.</p><p>The mood on Cat's face dampened, a faint scowl sneaking its way onto her worried features.</p><p>"You, uh, you have places to sleep, right ?" She questionned in a tone that suggested she was considering the prospect of taking her in.</p><p>Elle's heart swelled.</p><p>"Yeah, yes, I'm-I'm-I have somewhere to sleep, don't worry."  She answered with such calmness it forced Cat to believe her.</p><p>Cat lowered her gaze on Ellie's hands, trailing her eyes along the hardened fingers, taking each scratch and bruise in. She pinched her lips with her teeth and nodded.</p><p>"Can I ask you something personal?" She inquired carefully, staring into the green eyes for confirmation or reject.</p><p>Ellie rolled her eyes in understanding and made a face.</p><p>"You want to know why I'm in this shit, right ?"</p><p>Cat said nothing, but her concerned eyes spoke the language. The red hair sighed and considered her options. She could tell her everything... no, no way. She could try to tell her to mind her own business but it was rude. Or she could half lie.</p><p>"I had an abusive family.I ran away" She answered, avoiding her gaze and picking at her crepe. Which wasn't totally false. She was used to abuse.<br/>
"Oh..." Cat's almond shaped eyes blinked and softened in a way that created a lump in Ellie's throat, her breathing hitching ever so slowly as they shared a short look.</p><p>"I'm sorry it happened to you. You didn't deserve it."<br/>
"Yeah, well, no one does, right ?" Ellie scratched at the back of her hand, feeling somewhat uncomfortable.<br/>
Cat's brows furrowed. "Yeah, but-"<br/>
"Look." Ellie stopped her with her hands, cheeks burning in embarassment. "It's fine. Could we not, like, make a big deal out of it ?" She wanted nothing more than dig a hole in the ground.<br/>
"Okay... well, if you need a place to stay, I can-"<br/>
"Okay, you know what ? Fuck it, I'm not some charity case that you can pity on." She redheaded girl snapped, standing up and preparing to leave.</p><p>She was not doing this. How could she have any kind of friendship or relationship with someone who pitied her ? She had enough of that with Joel. She went to grab her backpack but Cat reached for her, strong hand wrapping around her wrist to stop her from going any further. Flashbacks of David assaulted her head and eyes but she was quick to refocus her attention to the chinese woman who looked at her pleadingly.</p><p>"Wait, I'm sorry, I just- I just want to get to know you. You're beautiful and interesting. I love your voice and-and your eyes. Please, let me invite you to the cinema."<br/>
"... I don't have money." Ellie mumbled, trying to remember when was the last time she went to see a movie.<br/>
"I'm paying. "She insisted. "And before you say anything " Cat added when she saw the look of indignation on the younger girl's face. "I would have done so in any other way. So what d'you say?" She asked with a charming smile that made Ellie's knees go weak.</p><p>The teenager gazed down at the cute hand holding onto her wrist for dear life, strong, but soft enough she would let go if she was to tug on it. The touch burned her skin in the way it always did when Dina touched her. She felt a blush creep on her face, was she going to get all flustered everytime she was to find someone attractive?</p><p>She felt a light squeeze and she bit her bottom lip, uncertain of the choice to make. Ellie noticed how the other woman's eyes dropped to her lips as she did so, and how much they shone under the light, a faint hue of hazel smudged across beautiful black irises. Ellie let an half smile lift the corner of her lips and purposely made a show of thinking about it. Cat was beautiful, caring and she was really into her. How so, she could not understand. But Dina had eyes elsewhere, and Cat was willing, so why question it ? Ellie looked at the way Cat's leather jacket hugged her body and she wondered what kind of shirt she wore underneath.</p><p>"Alright, if you insist." Ellie huffed, as if it was an honor to get to date her. "I'm still covered in coffee, though."</p><p>As if on cue, Cat started to remove the leather jacket, uncovering a black and red shirt that said "my eyes are up there" in bold, red letters. Ellie's mouth never felt so driy as Cat motionned the younger girl to take the coat, a big smile plastered on her face.</p><p>"Wow. I feel blessed." She joked, tugging on the sleeves. How do I look?"<br/>

The smirk that Cat gave her sent heat boiling in the pit of her stomach.</p><p>"Hot."</p><p>------‐-------------------------</p><p>"I can't believe you made me watch a Jurassic Park movie. My cousin always wanted me to go with him, and one word from you and I'm done for." Cat complained loudly as they left the theater, smiling widely at her friend's excited chatter.<br/>
"What's there not to like ? It got dinosaurs, blood, action, a pretty girl. Hell, even the main guy looks hot."<br/>
"Okay, I must admit, the girl was pretty hot. She got nothing on you, though." Cat's hand brushed with Ellie's and the other girl snorted.<br/>
"Shut up. You were so busy looking at me you didn't even see the velociraptors chasing that car ! Man, they were awesome. Did you know they could run 64 miles an hour ?"<br/>
"Wow, so impressive." Cat said, amused at the girl's geekness. "And where did you learn that ?"<br/>
"Books, mostly." She shrugged. " And I watched a lot of dinosaurs documentaries back at home. I think they are just so -"<br/>
"Awesome." The woman finished for her with a grin. "Is there something else you are geeking on ?"<br/>
"Pff, I'm not a geek." Ellie defended herself. "But I also love space and comics."<br/>
"You are such a geek." Cat laughed as they mounted her motorcycle.</p><p>Ellie ignored her, chest swelling with a joy she hadn't felt in a long time.<br/>
When it had been time to pick the movie, Ellie had freaked out at the big poster of Jurassic Park and had insisted they see it. Cat haven't been too eager, and had admitted she never saw any of the franchise, which had caused Ellie to look at her with a horrified expression, like it was unfanthomable in her mind that anyone on earth would not like a dinosaurs movie. With her mind set, Ellie had grabbed her hand and pulled her inside and while she didn't enjoy the movie, Cat had spent the whole movie watching the young redhead next to her, completely taken by the younger girl's child like attitude. </p><p>"It's cool, you know, to be so invested in something. When I first started tattooing, dad wasn't too happy with me. He got around, but it was an hard process." Cat had yet to put on her helmet, wanting this bonding moment to last just a bit longer.</p><p>Ellie relaxed, hands sprawled behind her to support her weight. Her phone have been buzzing relentlessly all day but she had yet to check it. The only persons to have her number were Abby, Joel, Dina, Jesse and Cat. She didn't care much about the missed calls and texts though, all of her attentiom were on Cat, and how cool she was. Even if they haven't talking for much more than a few hours, Ellie had been eager to learn more about her, purposely avoiding or redirecting any personal question she didn't want to answer herself.</p><p>"When did you know you wanted to be a tattoo artist ?" Ellie questionned, looking down at the leather the black booth was made of, tracing the faint lines with her fingers. She was content like this, just talking mindlessly with that girl about things they liked. Ellie felt quite intimidated, but in a good way. A bit like the first time she met Dina, except this time she wasn't making a fool out of herself. Her smile tensed a bit at the thought of the black haired woman. It had been a few days since she last saw her. She wondered what she was doing.</p><p>"Well, since forever, I guess?" Cat answered, unconscious of Ellie's torment. "I was always drawing in class and I would gawk at every tattoo I could lay my eyes on. My dad wanted me to be a dentist, like him.  Thing is, it's never something that interested me."<br/>
"What 'bout your mom?" Ellie turned her head to face her, eyes full of sincere curiousity that meleted the older girl's heart.<br/>
"Well, what daddy dearest says goes. I love my mom, but she's... eh... submissive? Granted my dad's a good man, a bit stern maybe, but she never had a role to play in my education. It was all my dad... does it make you sad to have shitty parents ?"Cat asked so straightforwardly it almost made Ellie choke on her saliva.<br/>
"Wow... straight to the point." The teenager said, a bit taken aback.<br/>
"It's my charm." She smiled, and it was to beautiful Ellie couldn't find it in herself to be mad about it.<br/>
"Was your mom okay with your life's career?" Ellie tried to redirect the conversation away from her, because frankly, she was having such a good time she didn't want to ruin it by thinking about her dead parents or David.<br/>
"Well..." Cat scrunched her nose, thinking. "She wasn't against it per say. But not too thrilled either. So as soon as I reached 18, I packed my stuff and left. Crashed at my aunt and cousin for a few weeks and finally found a job and an appartment. Would you like to see it ?" She asked suggestively, waging her eyebrows.<br/>
Ellie rolled her eyes playfully and smacked her on the arm.</p><p>"Let's just go home, I'm starting to be hungry."<br/>
"You literally ate a whole ass bag of popcorn."<br/>
"I'm a growing girl, okay?"<br/>
"Okay fine, legged stomach, then tell me where home is?" Cat put on her helmet and smiled when the younger girl wrapped her arms around her so tightly she could feel the fingers dig into her shirt. It was really cold outside, specially on a bike. An idea struck her and she pulled Ellie's coat from one of her pouch and put it on under the watchful and confused eyes of the redhead.</p><p>"What are you doing?" She asked, lifting her scarred brow.<br/>
"You'll see, freckles." Smiled the woman, turning on the engine.<br/>
"Last time someone said that I had troubles ! She yelled over the sound of the motor.</p><p>This caused the black haired woman to chuckles against the wind, hair swaying madly behind her.</p><p>Ellie left the wind play with her auburn hair, eyes closing against the back of the woman in front of her. She didn't believe in aura and all that kind of things, but something emanated from Cat like an invisible smoke,  foggying her brain in the most enticing way and closing her in into her smile and eyes. She was friendly, funny, and as weird as their newfound friendship was, she didn't want it to end. The girl seemed to want to be close to her too anyway.</p><p>It reminded her of a conversation she had with Dina, days ago.</p><p>She was cutting her hair, careful in the way she manipulated the scissor. Ellie sat nervously still in the bed, tapping her knees with restless fingers as she watched her red hair falls in big chomp.</p><p>"Hey D, you sure you know what you're doing ?" She had asked worriedly, casting a side glance to the smaller girl behind her who had snorted.<br/>
"Of course. I cut Jesse's hair and he never complained."<br/>
"Oh boy." Ellie had tensed, recalling the long, unkept hair of the taller man. " So you gonna make me a mullet too?"<br/>
"  You're an ass." Dina had huffed, tugging a bit on the auburn hair. "Now stop moving, I would hate to cut open that pretty head of yours." She had smirked, placing both hands on each side of her head to still her.</p><p>It was such a warm feeling to have Dina's hands on every part of her body. She had lost herself into the touch, imagining what it would feel like elsewhere. On her neck, on her breast or across her stomach. She was incredibly jealous of Jesse, and she had wondered many times if he had experienced those hands himself. The thought only had brought an all too well known ache that contracted her heart, threatening to tear it apart if she was to think further ahead.</p><p>"Ow! What the fuck Dina!"<br/>
" I told you to stop moving, hero. I'm armed." She had threatened, cutting another strand of stray hair.<br/>
"Okay, what's up with everybody calling me weirdass names ?  It's so annoying." Ellie had complained like a child, poutting just as well as one.<br/>
Dina's hand was on the top of her head, nails scratching lightly at her scalp in a massaging motion that sent Ellie on the edge of paradise</p><p>"Because it's fun to tease you, El. You get all poutty and flustered. And it's a cute look on you." Dina had said, nimble fingers ghosting over a yellowish bruise on the side of her face.<br/>
"Keep laughing, D. See what happens." She had mumbled under her breath, but Dina picked on a few words.<br/>
"What did you say?<br/>
"Nothing."</p><p>After a few more cuts, Dina had put the scissor back on her bedside table and had ruffled the freshly cut auburn hair with a pensive look.</p><p>"You know, I actually like this better. Makes you look more grown up. You don't look like a kid anymore."<br/>
"And I'm supposed to be the ass?" Ellie had snorted, contemplating herself in the mirror."<br/>
"What did you say happened again?" Dina had asked, grabbing a broom to clear off the fallen hair.<br/>
"Uh... well like I said, I was jumped and they uh... cut off my hair?" She had said with a wince, realizing just how awful and stupid her lie sounded, but it was all she had been able to think of at the time. Dina had shot her a pointed look, stopping what she was doing to lean her weight on the broom, staring at the teenager in front of her who hadn't been able to meet her gaze, deciding to focus instead on Dina's pink laptop covered in stickers laying on the end of the bed.<br/>
"Really ?" Dina's voice had been sharp, but still soft and gentle. Ellie had tried to ignore the forming lump blocking her throat, eyes now casted downward, anxiety bubbling like lava in her stomach which was twisting in painful knots.</p><p>Dina had let out a sigh and rounded the bed to kneel before Ellie, looking at her tenderly.</p><p>"I don't believe you." She had breathed out, almost shamefully. Like she was sorry she couldn't believe her.<br/>
"It-it's true." Ellie had stammered, but it had passed throught deaf ears.</p><p>Dina had shook her head in disbelief, still looking at Ellie with a sad, sorry look on her face, and Ellie had hated herself for being the cause of her sorrow.</p><p>"I don't know what you're hiding El, and why you're hiding it. But you should let people help you. This lone wolf thing that you got going on will only take you so far."</p><p>She had lifted her right hand, thumb slowly strocking the faint pink scarred skin on her eyebrow, almost amazed at the feeling under her finger. Ellie had stayed silent, watching that beautiful face she had fallen in love with.  From behind two perfect lips, shy teeth had been peeking out, still glistening from her saliva. Ellie had wanted nothing more than to lean in and kiss her. She had wanted to know what it was like to kiss her. To kiss anyone, for that matter.</p><p>She was happy that despite his attempt, David hadn't managed to disgust her from a love or sex life.<br/>
Ellie had taken the smooth hand in her own, smilling reassuringly at Dina.</p><p>"I'm fine, Dina."</p><p>Dina had seemed unsure, but she had said nothing and Ellie didn't know what hurt more: the fact that she said nothing, or the fact that she knew she was lying to her. Ellie didn't want to. But she knew that she would reject her if she told her everything.</p><p>Ellie rested her forehead on the back in front of her. Heat radiated throught the clothes, almost burning a hole on her skin.<br/>
She thought back to what Dina saidd, about letting other  people help her. She despiced the entire idea of not being independant, but boy would life be easier.</p><p>She had given the idea a lot of thought recently. She had always pushed people away, and now, people were begging to be let in. It was a new concept for her, one that she was unfamiliar with.</p><p>She kept pointing the way to the driver who finally pulled in front of a fence. She removed her helmet and lifted a suspicious eyebrow toward the lone house standing in the field.</p><p>"So... you live here." She pointed out.<br/>
"Well, I wouldn't say 'live' but yeah. I sleep in the shed, but it's like real comfortable, and I get food, so, don't worry. I'm not starving to death."</p><p>The careless and casual way Ellie spoke left Cat feeling incredibly shitty with herself. No one this young should have to live throught that, but her relation with Ellie was nowhere close enough for her to do anything about it. Sighing, she stepped off the vehicle and watched Ellie do the same, shaking her head to ruffle the hair a bit, and Cat bit the bottom of her lip to refrain herself.</p><p>"So, uh... who's living here?"<br/>
"Some man." Ellie answered flatly, looking up to meet her gaze with innocent eyes.<br/>
"And he's treating you right ?" She frowned, unsure if she should let Ellie go to that dark creepy old man house.<br/>
"Yeah. He does. I'm fine, really."</p><p>She didn't quite buy her story but she let the matter go. Ellie was about to undress of the leather coat, but she was quickly stopped by the taller woman.</p><p>"What ?" Ellie asked, confused.<br/>
"You keep it." She said with a flirty smile. " And I keep yours. So I'm gonna have an excuse to see you again, handsome." Cat's finger traced Ellie's jawline with acute precision, stopping at the corner of her lips. Ellie thought for a moment she was going to kiss her and she was ready for her heart to stop functionning.<br/>
But Cat pulled back and brought one of Ellie's hand to her lips instead, kissing the ragged knuckles.</p><p>"See you next time ?" She grinned adoringly.<br/>
"You're such a sap." Ellie snorted once the shock passed.<br/>
"My best quality." Cat quipped. "Call me later hottie."<br/>
Ellie watched her gear up and go in a curtain of smoke and was already thinkinf of texting her. She had been pretty easy going whereas Ellie was the shy type, and it made it easy to talk to her about almost anything.</p><p>She made her way toward the shed, already lavishing the idea of warmth, when the house's front door opened on Joel wearing a chief hat. Ellie could barely hold back a throaty laught.</p><p>"What the hell are you wearing, old man ?"<br/>
"I'm cooking." He mumbled before pointing lazily toward the fence.<br/>
"Who was that?"</p><p>Ellie's first instinct was to ignore him and go to the shed. But then she thought of everything the man was offering her and bit down a sneaky remark.</p><p>"I was on a date." She decided to say, adoring how juicy the word tasted on her tongue. She had never went to a date before, and she was left  with confusing but remarkable emotions.</p><p>He shot her a disaproving father look, like Ellie loved to call it, but he knew not to push her boundaries for fear of her running away again.</p><p>"And he, uh... treatin' you right?" He asked hesitantly, wanting to say much more but refraining fro, doing it, settling on a cautious look instead.<br/>
"Oh, she's a girl. I'm gay, Joel. Like really, really, fucking gay." Ellie answered flatly and proudly, watching with delight how his expression changed from a frown to a flustered, comical stuned look.<br/>
"That, uh, is great kiddo." He coughed after a few seconds. " I was cooking steaks and a bunch of vegetables. You wanna join? You're just too skinny."</p><p>Ellie was about to refuse, but her stomach growled at this exact moment, and she could smell the food all the way from the front door and her mouth watered at the prospect of hot, cooked steaks.</p><p>"You know what? Sure." She replied, rounding Joel to step into the house as if it was her own, and Joel chuckled at how...teenage-y she was acting, walking around the house as if it was her own.</p><p>She settled on the sofa, playing with her phone to see who the hell<br/>
Have been trying to contact her.</p><p>There was one unknown call, probably from Abby. And then it was Dina all over the dozen texts, first asking her to hangout and then asking, later, if she was feeling okay, probably due to the lack of reply. She swiftly texted back that she was fine, just busy, but that she would have to pass for the movie night. Tonight  she just wished to stay inside and read comics. </p><p>She suddenly remembered that she was still wearing Cat's jacket. She brought it to her nose and curiously smelled it. It had been recently cleaned as it still smelled like soap with a faint scent of gas. She liked it. </p><p>"She smells good?" Quipped Joel's voice, face peeking from behind the living room wall, cocky smile plastered on his face.<br/>
"Oh my god,Joel !" She cried out, tossing the coat aside with a blush on her face.<br/>
"Now now Ellie. No need to act like that, I was young once too. Damn, I remember when I first got to kiss a girl, it was really-"<br/>
"Oh my god! I don't wanna hear it !" Ellie shielded her ears with her palms, watching the older man with a scowl. " Gross!"</p><p>He chuckled again, creases in the fold of his skin near his eyes as his face illuminated with joy.</p><p>"Comon kiddo. It's ready." He called her, turning to go back in the kitchen.<br/>
"Joel?" She suddenly interrupted him, standing up from the couch and staring straight at him serious, anxious eyes.<br/>
"Yeah ?" He looked at her with those soft, patient eyes and suddenly, she didn't see the danger in him. She didn't see a bear of a man who could overpower her if he wanted to. She saw a father figure, a protection shield, a heavy blanket to her insecurities. She looked down at her hand and started pacing about the room, unsure of how to start. But she wanted some words to get out of her chest, as it felt heavy like a rock in her chest.</p><p>"Look, I'm, uh... I'm not good with words, and sorry, and thanks, and shit like this. And a lot of bad stuff happened to me in the past and it's hard for me to trust men, and -fuck I suck at this. What I'm trying to say is, uh, thank you Joel for your help. I know I've been a brat, and that I never thanked you for... well, anything." She breathed out, cheeks red from embarassement. She looked down to avoid his gaze. "And I wanted to ask you for, uh, chores. Things to do. To earn my stay here, and money. Like dishes, or chomping woods, or groceries, or whatever, I can do it all."</p><p>When he didn't say anything, she looked up to see him staring at her proudly, like a father would to his own kin. Ellie's heart fluttered slightly but she didn't feed into the warmth, choosing to look at her feet instead.</p><p>"Well..." he started, strocking his beard. " I reckom I'd tell you that this is no big deal, but I have no hope getting it throught that thick head of yours, so it's a deal. There's always stuff to do around these parts, and I could give you a bit of money for it. So you can hangout with your friends and... date." He specified with a shit eating grin that Ellie absolutely despiced with her entire being.</p><p>"You're the worst." She huffed, arms crossed. "But... thanks Joel."<br/>
"No problem, kiddo."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ellie woke up this morning from one of the best sleep she had in months. It had been completely nightmareless, and more so, it has been filled by waves of short dreams, going from sharing a kiss with Dina to winning the championship of soccer. </p><p>Ellie tried to sit, only to be stopped by the weight of something unusual. She looked down at the arm overlapping her waist, and turned to see to whom was this arm connected to. A faint smile brightened her tired face as green eyes settled upon a curvy figure sleeping on her side next to her, wrapping up all the blanket for herself. Ellie stared intently at the clothed figure, took notice of the shadow created by every crease. On her throat, on her breast, between her legs... Ellie shook her head, fingers coming to rub at her fatigued eyes.</p><p>Around her, the shed remained unchanged, except that, progressively, it had started to look more and more like a room. Joel had brought her a wooden base for the bed, a radio and alarm clock, lot of decorative lights to hang, comics, a small sofa and changed the t.v. for a bigger one. A lot of it were rewards for helping him in several chores. Ellie's mood have improved dramastically in the matter of a few weeks. She had a warm bed, friends to talk to, a phone to keep in contact, things to make herself useful. Joel made sure she had food in her everyday and she dared to feel like a routine had taken place under her very eyes. As much as she wanted to stay grounded, she didn't feel so homeless anymore. It had been the best she had felt in such a long time, she almost forgot how it felt to not have to worry abour her needs.</p><p>Of course, she was still having nightmares and panic attacks. Somehow, she had managed to hide them from Dina, Jesse and now Cat and she wanted to keep it that way. It would bring too many questions.</p><p>She heard her cellphone buzz and, careful not to wake up the sleeping beauty, she stretched her arm to grab it from the floor and swipped it open. A lazy smile covered her face at the name flashing on the screen.</p><p>-Hey, sleepyhead, I know we're just monday but I'm tired of this week already ! My parents are not gonna be home tonight, so Jesse and I thought we could do a sleep over. Wanna come?-</p><p>Ellie's eyebrows shot toward her hairline and she wiped the sleep off her face, thought about the idea for a minute before her fingers danced on the keypad.</p><p>-Sure, I'm in.-</p><p>She was about to close it back but it buzzed right away.</p><p>-cool! Be at my house for 5 ok? Also Jesse's cousin will be there. It's just too bad you didn't want to meet her, she's got a girlfriend now !! Stoopid Ellie ! -</p><p>Stoopid Ellie rolled her eyes and put the phone done, turning over to fix the girl in her bed.</p><p>They have been doing it in Joel's back. Not that it would bother him, but she didn't want him to nag her about it. About Cat coming to the shed few days a week. Joel was off to work most days and he left Ellie the key to his house, so he was never around when Cat sneaked in late at night and wouldn't leave the redhead's side for most of the day. They would spend lazy mornings in each other's arms, talking and snuggling, getting a feel of each other's warmth and touches.</p><p>They had yet to kiss, and it was completely her fault. Ellie hadn't been ready, had wanted to entirely fall into Cat's trust and she had wanted to be sure.</p><p>And while she could never remove Dina from her head, Cat had proved to be a nice distraction.</p><p>"Hey..." The figure next to her muttered, the hot air from her breath burning Ellie's shoulder as it came in contact with the fabric of her shirt.</p><p>"Hey babe." Ellie whispered back, voice husky and low as she watched the asian woman open her eyes.</p><p>They would always fall asleep in each other's arms, and Ellie would doze off quietly, counting how many times Cat's hot breath would burn the back of her neck. Cat's smiled softly and Ellie smiled back, searching under the blanket for her hand.</p><p>The shed was warm, the heater envelopping the room in a gleaming orange glow, but they hadn't been able to discard the sheets. Yesterday have been a particularly cold day, so they have been more than happy to hide under the covers.</p><p>Outside, people were getting ready for Halloween. While she had never been a big fan of those, she wasn't unaware of its favorite cousin Halloweed and she had promised Abby some buddy time.</p><p>They still had a few days before that, and she had intended to spend those with Cat.</p><p>"Slept well?" She asked sleepily, kissing Ellie's arm.</p><p>"Yeah. No nightmares tonight."</p><p>After a few seconds, the auburn haired teenager felt something push on her shoulders, and her mid section was soon wrapped by two perfect tights and as Cat sat on her abdomen, she could feel the shape of her butt against her stomach, turning her face the sweetest shade of red there is.</p><p>"Hey." Ellie called, not knowing what to do with her hands and deciding to put them on her naked tights, as Cat slept in panties.</p><p>"You're so cute when you're half asleep." The older woman said, caressing the face below her with a gentle hand, her finger hovering above the scar on the bridge of her nose. "Can I kiss you?" She questionned, her voice nothing but a low whisper in the morning glow, the faint light from outside blending with the orange from the heater to create a pattern of shadow on Cat, illuminating her most perfect assets. Ellie's eyes landed on every inch of skin she could set her sight upon, but her palms rested on the tights, thumbs running smoothly across them.</p><p>Her eyes stared hard at the half open lips while two pools of black waters waited for her to answer, breath hitching ever so subtly when Ellie's fingers were replaced by nails. She licked her own lips in anticipation, chapped lips against wet tongue not going unnoticed by the woman who smiled seducely.</p><p>Ellie nodded her head slowly. "Okay."  She breathed, sighing when Cat's hands moved from her shoulders to the lenght of her arms, stopping to clasp at her wrists and pin them down softly against the mattress. And despite the familiar position, Ellie didn't think about David at all at this moment. All there was was Cat, and how beautiful she looked, and how hungrily her eyes were checking her out. As Cat began to lean down, she felt the teenager tense under her.</p><p>"Hey-hey, El..."</p><p>Cat removed a stray hair from Ellie's reddened face, tucking it behind her ear and setting her hand on her cheek.</p><p>"It's okay, El. We're fine." Cat glanced down at the stressed girl, and her eyes softened. Ellie was so difficult not to love. She had no idea just how adorable she was. She was nothing but a dork under a tough exterior.</p><p>Leaning back in, she left her hand in place, the other one ran throught the short hair sprawled over the pillow. Black eyes never left green ones as her soft lips brushed featherly over the chapped ones, applying barely an ounce of pression, letting the inexperimented girl take her in. Ellie's world turned dark and she could see nothing but Cat's face, light smearing golden splatters across her features, like paint.</p><p>Ellie breathed her in, her nose smashed gently against her cheek. Cat was warm, so, so warm. She was like a furnace, and she was sweating, from the warmth, from the stress, and she hoped stupidly it wouldn't gross her out. Cat finally kissed her, mouth envelopping her upper lip in a careful hug, and Ellie closed her eyes, leaning against the touch of her lips on hers. Cat smiled throught the kiss and strocked the warm cheek, reassuring the girl under her weight.</p><p>"Cat." Ellie breathed out when Cat leaned back to look at her flushed face.</p><p>The older woman felt two arms wrapping around her waist and she was pulled into an embrace. This time it was Ellie who took initiative, pressing her lips to hers in a private harmony. Cat let out a surprised gasp but she didn't pull away, choosing to feed into the kiss instead, lips meeting for their first times. Both were still tired and drowsy from the sleep, and Cat peppered chast kisses near her mouth, trailing up to put one on her nose.</p><p>"Not bad for a newbie." Cat muttered, slowly letting her body rest on top of Ellie, breathing the girl's scent as she relaxed her head in the crook of her neck.</p><p>"Shut up." Ellie shrug, ready to fall back asleep.</p><p>She was comfortable. It was comfortable, just Cat and her. They had clicked so fast, it had left her reeling and dizzy. They would text each other every day and Cat would come over during some nights to secretely snuggle with the smaller girl. Sometimes, when Ellie would stay awake and stare at the back before her, she would close her eyes and imagine the source of heat in front of her was Dina's. And then she felt disgusted with herself to dare compare the twos.</p><p>"Watcha doing today?" Cat asked lazily, playing with one strand of the red hair at her disposal.</p><p>"Heum... some friends invited me to hang out tonight." She sighed, looking up at the ceilling, hands on Cat's hip bones. "What about you?"</p><p>"Same." She replied grumpily. "My cousin invited me to a get togheter with his girlfriend and another friend of theirs. Like I wanna meet her."</p><p>"Maybe she's cute." </p><p>"Can't be cuter than you."</p><p>"Stop it, you're like, a model." Ellie said after a thought, looking down at her with a smirk, bringing an hand to cover Cat's face with it.</p><p>"You're infuriating." Cat whispered, catching her lips for a quick kiss.</p><p>Ellie twisted her neck to bring her mouth back to hers, teeth bruising the skin of her lips, forcing the taller girl to let out a moan and pull back in stupefaction. Ellie froze and sat up straighter.</p><p>"Fuck, did I hurt you ? I'm sorry, was I, like, not supposed to do that?"</p><p>"Damn Ellie..." Cat whimpered raspily, her fingers hiding her mouth. "That was fucking hot."</p><p>Ellie blinked innocently. "It was?"</p><p>"Come here you girl!"</p><p>She fisted Ellie's shirt and smashed her lips against hers, furiously pulling on her shirt to bring her closer. Closing her eyes, she put her hands on each side of Cat's face and sneaked her tongue into her mouth. It was sloppy and it was awkward, but she was a natural kisser and seemed eager to ask for more. Cat moaned slightly against the warm mouth.</p><p>"Oh Ellie." She breathed, unable to keep her hands to herself, searching for the skin of her stomach instead. The touch send shivers down Ellie's spine, sending warmth billowing in her groin in an alarming speed.</p><p>"We-we should stop." Ellie muttered after their steamy kiss, skin glistening from their make out session. " I-I need a minute."</p><p>Cat grinned but said notning, rolling back next to her. Ellie rested her hands on her stomach, trying to grasp reality. What happened was... there was no way to describe what she was feeling right now. She was floating on a cloud, her mind was completely blank. She felt her affection in each kiss, her love, her passion. And Ellie had accepted those feelings, had breathed them in like fresh air.</p><p>"That was... nice." Ellie said simply, smiling like an idiot as she looked at the ceiling, turning her head once second to smirk at the girl.</p><p>"Pff, you were like, totally into me."</p><p>"No, I wasn't!" Ellie defended.</p><p>"Please, you were clinging to me like I was a lifeline or something." Cat teased, scratching Ellie's scalp with her fingers.</p><p>"Cat?" Ellie asked lazily after a bout of silence.</p><p>"Hmm babe?" The black haired responded,smiling against the skin of her neck.</p><p>"I renamed my Ipod The Titanic, so when I plug it in, it says "The Titanic is syncing."</p><p>"Hahaha! This one was really good, El! Congrats!"</p><p>"Thanks babe." Ellie was smiling so wide it hurt her cheeks, but she couldn't help herself. "You're the only one to laught at those."</p><p>"Maybe it means I'm just the best for you." She said seductively, voice sultry as she leaned for a sloppy kiss.</p><p>"You're such a sap." She mocked, grabbing a hold of her shoulders to bring her down to her back, bold enough to straddle her stomach, staring at her with clear intention in her eyes.</p><p>"Are you a top, El? 'Cause that would be fucking hot." Cat complimented, running her hands on Ellie's legs.</p><p>Ellie huffed but never answered, leaning down to kiss her again, a bit more experimented now.</p><p>"I've been wanting to do that since I met you."  Cat exprimed in a whisper, sneaking one long finger under the red head's chin to lift her head upward, framed black meetings green.</p><p>"Yeah?" Ellie mumbled softly, continuing to kiss the woman under her.</p><p>"Yeah." She parotted, closing her eyes. "Fuck. Do you think we should cancel and stay here?" </p><p>"Can't." Ellie said, firm on her decision. She loved Cat, but she wanted to see Dina so bad.</p><p>"Fine, poopy pants. You should introduce me to your friends."</p><p>"Yeah, uh... soon..." Ellie grimaced.</p><p>Truth to be told, she didn't want Cat to meet Dina at all. For some unknown reason, she hated the whole idea of them meeting up.</p><p>They made out few more minutes before Cat's stomach growled loudly, earning a chuckle from Ellie swiftly replaced by a pained "ow".</p><p>"That's what you get." Cat complained teasingly, standing up and Ellie's body was cold again.</p><p>"You don't know what's coming for you!" Ellie voiced back, watching her threateningly.</p><p>"Oh ?" She gasped, surprised and excited. "Is there an Ellie that I don't know about yet ?"</p><p>Ellie rolled her eyes, standing up as well. "You're the worst." </p><p>"I know.' She was quick to answer, a gleam in her eyes rendering Ellie speechless.</p><p>"Come on, stupid. We're grabbing breakfast and I gotta go to work." Cat called, grinning at her as she pulled up her ripped pants and pushed her glasses up her nose.</p><p>"Yes boss." Ellie's sarcastic remark rewarded her with a slap on her arm.</p><p>"Smartass."</p><p>"Chintok."</p><p>‐--------------------------</p><p>"So? What's your plan for today ?" Cat questionned, one hour later.</p><p>Cat had brought Ellie downtown and asked her to choose the restaurant. Ellie had smiled hugely at her and pointed a small restaurant next to a barber shop. There was the delicious smell of bacon coming from there and Ellie's stomach had already chosen the place.</p><p>Ellie shrugged, munching on toasts. " I promised Joel I would cut woods with him in preparation of winter. He's giving me money each time I help him." She declared with a proud smile, heart fluttering a bit.</p><p>Cat smiled but said nothing, sipping on her milkshake.</p><p>"What's up ?" Ellie had said after five minutes of staring.</p><p>"I love what you did with your hair today." Cat murmured lovingly.</p><p>"You like it?" Ellie's hand reached behind her head, fingers brushing slightly over the low, messy bun.</p><p>"Yeah, suit you."</p><p>Ellie was really happy. Cat made her incredibly happy. She made her forget about Dina, and the ache it brought. She could easily  imagine using couple titles with her.</p><p>"So... are you, like, my girlfriend ?" Ellie asked bashfully, a nervous chuckle on the tip of her tongue.</p><p>Cat threw her head back and laughed like she never did before, totally mocking the girl's question. Ellie grimaced embarassingly and flicked a slice of bacon at her, catching her chin.</p><p>"Ellie, I thought it was totally obvious. I'm already saying everybody you're my girlfriend."</p><p>"You are ?" Ellie pronounced, taken aback by the revelation. "Wow. I don't know what to say."</p><p>Cat leaned her head on her hand, smirking in mishief.</p><p>"What about I love you ? She proposed supposedly innocently, but with a shit eating grin.</p><p>"Okay fine, I guess you can love me." Ellie answered quickly, suddenly embarassed by Cat's straightforwardness.</p><p>Cat smiled brightly, amused by their antics.</p><p>"I wish I could kiss you right now."</p><p>Ellie looked up with a goofy lopsided smile.</p><p>"Oh yeah? Why?" She asked, finishing her eggs.</p><p>Cat shook her head. "I just wanna." She shrugged, eyes not leaving hers.</p><p>Ellie grabbed her hand and kissed the knukles instead, a charming smile painted on her face. They embraced their hands and took a moment to take each other in, eyes dropping to lips every now and then.</p><p>"I had a very good morning with you. I wish you could be with me all the time." Cat told her in a secretive whisper, taking a sip of her black coffee.</p><p>"I'm your girlfriend." Ellie confirmed, feeling more confident as the words floated between them, slowly taking their meaning. The word ran smoothly across her tongue, leaving behind a bittersweet taste. "That's awesome, right?"</p><p>"Yeah." Cat said, admiring the brightened face in front of her with glee. " Awesome." </p><p>Cat winked at her and threw her napkin on the table.</p><p>"I have to go now. Want me to ride you back?"</p><p>"Nah, don't worry, I'll hang around."</p><p>"Okay, but you be careful, yeah?" Cat leaned down to put a kiss on the freckled forehead.</p><p>Ellie smiled at her and watched her go, heart sweĺling at the display of affection.</p><p>It was crazy to think how much her life had changed these past few weeks. She had started to sleep and eat better, her panic attacks were less frequents, and she no more thought about offing herself. Her life had started to fall back into place. She had a roof, she had food, money, friends, hell, even a girlfriend. Now she just needed to hold on 'til she's 18, for when she will be free of David' autority. And then she can come clean.</p><p>But for now, that life was pleasing.</p><p>Ellie got up and decided to walk home. She pulled her earbuds from her bag and put them on, blocking all sound from the world.</p><p>She made her way toward Joel's house, and she couldn't stop thinking about the sleepover she was invited to. She haven't told them she was seeing someone, and was a bit annoyed that cousin of them was going to be part of it. But at least she wasn't single anymore. What did they say her name was again? Ugh, no matter. She didn't care anyway. She just wanted to see Dina. It was the first time she was going to go on a sleepover since her school days. Man, it already have been two years since she left David's clutches. She wondered if he was still looking for her. Probably not. She was probably dead for all these people anyway. It was better like this.</p><p>She spent the rest of the day chomping woods for Joel until it was time to actually leave for Dina's. She looked proudly at her day's worth of work and went into the shed to change. Looking down at her body, she noticed that she had started to take weight. Her ribs were barely visible anymore and she had gained a bit of muscle from working around. She didn't look like a bum anymore, and more and more like her old self.</p><p>She changed for a gray tank top and a unboutoned, too big for her red flannel falling loosely off her frame. She put on her favorite, black ripped jeans and kept her torn shoes.</p><p>She was going to have a good night, she could feel it.</p><p>---------------------------------------‐-</p><p>"Hey stud, looking sharp tonight!" Laughed a black, haired girl when she opened the door on a flatly faced Ellie.</p><p>"Hi Dina." She answered normally, stepping in. "Thanks for inviting me tonight."</p><p>"Please, it wouldn't be the same without you." Dina quipped, a stubborn smile on her face.</p><p>Ellie looked at the beautiful girl in front of her. She was wearing very casual clothes, a dark red hoodie and sweatpants that showed all the nice curves of her butt. Ellie grinned at the very clustered house. Yes, it still made her feel claustrophobic.</p><p>"Where are your parents?" She asked as she removed her coat, passing it to the host so she could put it away.</p><p>"To my grand mother's in the next town over. They'll be gone all night." Dina answered with a wink that made the taller girl go red in the face.</p><p>"Hey. It's my man!" Jesse padded in the room, wearing gray sweat and a black shirt. He gave the girl a fist bump and handed her a half full glass.</p><p>"What's inside ?" Ellie asked, sniffing it.</p><p>"Whiskey. You seem to me like a whiskey type of girl." Jesse nodded with his famous shit eating grin.</p><p>"Yeah? What tells you that?" She smiled against the glass, taking a quick sip and letting the liquid burn her throat on its way down.</p><p>"Eh, I don't know. Must be that lesbian swag you got going on."</p><p>Ellie chocked on her second sip at hearing Jesse's words and she looked up wide eyed, wanting nothing more than to wipe that smirk off his face.</p><p>"Okay, I so don't have that." She growled stubbornly.</p><p>"Oh yes you do." Sing sang Dina as she passed them, fingers wrapping around Ellie's bicep. "You've got such a swag going on, I don't know how you don't have tons of girls at your feet already."</p><p>"Oh my god you guys, stop!" Ellie pleaded, looking down at the floor hoping it would swallow her whole.</p><p>Her friends laughed at her timidity and brought her into the kitchen.</p><p>They had snacks prepared, mainly chips and cakes. They also had beers and alcohol, which confused Ellie.</p><p>"Guys I'm really happy for the beer, but who brought that ?" </p><p>"My cousin did." Jesse said, taking a swig of his drink. "She's an adult and won't stop rubbing it in my face. One more year, man."</p><p>"Oh Ellie, I've always wanted to drink with you. I wonder what drunk Ellie looks like." Dina squeeked, taking a beer from the fridge.</p><p>"Drunk Ellie doesn't exist." She warned, even if it was false. There was no way she was telling her about all the puke stories.</p><p>"Did you only bring that?" Jesse inquired, looking down at her clothes.</p><p>Ellie gazed down at her clothes. "Yeah." She said sheepishly.</p><p>"It's okay Jesse, I expected that. I have clothes for her." Dina's voice was like honey for Ellie's ears, and she smiled. Wait, expected?</p><p>She sat in the couch, ignoring as the couple gave each other's a small peck on the lips. "Where's that cousin of yours by the way?"</p><p>Jesse shrugged, scoffing. " Who knows ?" She's always late to things."</p><p>"Remind me of someone I know." Ellie muttered to herself, recalling how Cat was always late to stuff they wanted to do togheter. If she said noon, there was no way to expect her before noon thirty. She had been trying to make an effort for the redhead though, and it was greatly appreciated.</p><p>As she ingulged herself in a few chips, Dina flopped down on the sofa next to a very nervous Ellie who couldn't meet her eyes.</p><p>"You look great." Dina said truthfully. " I feel like you have been taking more care of you these days. You're no longer a walking corpse. What happened ?"</p><p>"Sheesh, you know how to compliment a girl D." Ellie chuckled, avoiding answering her question.</p><p>"She's right." Jesse pipped in, looking up and down the young woman. "I'm glad. Something good must have happened?"</p><p>He was leaning heavily against the sofa's back, grinning at her like a six years old boy.</p><p>"Nothing happened. I just started to eat more. Sheesh."</p><p>"Maybe she got laid." Jesse told Dina, quickly followed by an indignant shrieck and he almost got hit by the head by a couch pillow.</p><p>"I did not!" She defended, and then she blushed at the implication. "I-I mean, it's none of your business! </p><p>Both Dina and Jesse chuckled and Dina leaned back to rest on the taller boy's chest.</p><p>"So what are we going to do anyway beside drink to death?" Ellie asked, only for them to shrug.</p><p>"Eat, watch a couple of movies. Maybe a few board games?" Dina listed, finishing her first can of beer.</p><p>"Man, it's been so long since I went to a sleep over. Thanks for inviting me by the way."</p><p>"Girl, please. " Jesse rolled his dark eyes. "Dina wants to invite you everywhere all the time. If I didn't stop her she would invite you in the shower with us."</p><p>"Oh my god, Jesse!" Dina groaned, throwing her hands in the air.</p><p>Despite the horrifying mental images, Ellie huffed a quick laught, bringing her drink to her lips once more. It was relaxing. This was nice. It's been such a long time she enjoyed herself like this, safe inside the comfort of a home, slipping on drinks and snacks. As Jesse grabbed the controller to choose a movie, there was a knock at the door, startling Ellie who coughed to hide the discomfort.</p><p>"I'll take it. It must be Cat." </p><p>"Hmm." Ellie nodded absentmindly. "Wait, what?"</p><p>"Hey bitchezzzzz!" Hollered a familiar, very familiat voice that made Ellie's head snap to the side, almost breaking her neck in the motion. </p><p>"Cat?!?"</p><p>"Ellie?" </p><p>The two girls looked at each other utterly confused and shocked. Wires suddenly connected inside Ellie's head. Cat. Jesse's cousin was named Cat and looked just as much asian as him. She wanted to slap herself over the face.</p><p>"You guys know each other ?" Dina asked with a slight puzzled frown.</p><p>"Duuuh! She's my girlfriend!" Cat cried out, throwing herself on a broken up Ellie.</p><p>"What are you doing here ?" Ellie pronounced with tight lips, eyes big as saucer.</p><p>"She's what ?" Jesse croaked, astounished.</p><p>"Ohhh, so you're the girl they wanted me to meet ? That's awesome! What are the odds?" Cat snickered, pulling her into a searing kiss that caught the red hair off guard.</p><p>Behind them, Jesse whistled his appreciation.</p><p>"Oh, lesbian porn." He laughed, drinking his alcohol a bit too quickly.</p><p>That made Ellie pull away forcefully, cheeks so red it almost burned her skin. She instinctively turned her head toward the mexican girl to gauge her reaction. The smaller girl was looking at them with puzzlement written all over her face, laced with something that Ellie couldn't put a finger on, but she didn't look happy.</p><p>"Man, have I known you were the homeless girl they were talking about, I would have brought you here sooner." Cat grumbled, taking in the scent of the freshly showered girl.</p><p>Ellie's heart suddenly stopped. Warmth coursed throught her chest and head as white hot panic spread throught her veins, making her tremble a little. She looked at Cat in shock and turned her head toward the other two teenagers who winced painfully at the upcoming drama that was about to take place.</p><p>"What?" Was all Ellie was able to say, limbs frozen in place.</p><p>Cat frowned upon seeing the look on her girlfriend's face.</p><p>"Babe?" She cooed tenderly, taking one hand in hers. "Are you okay?"</p><p>"I haven't told them..." She muttered dizzily.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>" I haven't told them." She repeated with a bit more voice, looking at both Dina and Jesse, now more sober than he ever was before.</p><p>The boy rubbed the back of his neck nervously, not knowing what to say so he turned to Dina who was staring intently at the floor, fingers pressing on her tights.</p><p>"They weren't... oh." Cat silenced herself abruptly, looking back and forth between her friends and girlfriend.</p><p>The tension shifted in the room. No one dared to talk and all eyes were settled on a very distraught Ellie who furiously ran her left hand in her shortened hair.</p><p>"I can't fucking believe it. You fucking knew?" She groaned, standing up and looking at both of them.</p><p>"Ellie, it's not what you think." Dina said with saddened eyes, reaching for her arm but Ellie pulled away.</p><p>"So what? You go around telling the world that you have a bum as a friend ? Did you tell them that I couldn't afford new clothes and food? Uh? Did you fucking told everybody that I'm just a charity case?" She yelled, anger pulsing in her veins like acid.</p><p>"Ellie..." Cat muttered, frozen by the altercation.</p><p>"Ellie, this is not like that." Dina said calmly.</p><p>"Yeah dude, chill out." Jesse tried to calm her, but it only made her madder.</p><p>"Chill out?!? You lied to me !"</p><p>"Hey, now, that isn't fair." Jesse's harsh tone stopped her in her trail, she was now frowning at him confusedly. "You lied to us too. You lied a plenty ! You, going at Doswell?  Please, we never believed that, Miller. Or should I say Williams ?"</p><p>Now Ellie was certain her heart had dropped into the bottom of her stomach. She looked at them wide and teary eyed.</p><p>"What... how did you..."</p><p>"We were worried about you Ellie." Dina started, hugging herself slightly as if she was not ready for the upcoming revelations. "You just... you came out of nowhere. Literally. You were never talking about you. You never told us anything. We never saw you study, or eat lunch, or talk about your family. Everything you told us felt fake and flat. Jesse and I we talked about it a lot, and we concluded you were lying about something but we didn't push the subject. You were a good person and-and we still wanted you around. We just, like, figured you were hiding something because it was important. And you'd tell us in time."</p><p>She took a small break to watch Ellie, who was gazing at her with a shortness of breath and a deep scowl and cold eyes. She gulped but continued anyway.</p><p>"We let the matter go. But a few weeks ago, I was watching a movie in class about a disappeared kid and then I just decided, dumbly, to look on the internet about that matter. I was like, just, bored and shit and didn't even thought about you. But as I was scrolling I... I saw your face." She finally admitted. "It said that a girl named Ellie Williams had run away from her uncle's home during the night two years ago. And-and then it just clicked. How skinny you were, how broke and-and how fucking sad you looked all the time. Ellie, we're so sorry, we didn't-we love you! It doesn't change anything for us ! "</p><p>Ellie didn't answer. Her eyes had glazed over and she seemed lost in her own world. She kept looking at Dina, but all she saw was a gauntinly pale, brown haired man with his own twisted version of a smile.</p><p>"Thought you could escape me, baby girl?" It growled, showing his rotten black teeth.</p><p>The room spun as she tried to make sense of everything. Her stomach contracted on itself, twisting in some kind of psychological agony, leaving her aching and sick.</p><p>Beside her, Cat, Jesse and Dina  had grew worried over their friend's reaction. And then, a dry, throaty laughter errupted in the room, and everybody looked ashtounished and troubled, because it came from Ellie's dry throat. The girl rested her hands on her hips, and smiled bitterly at the situation.</p><p>"Fine, you got me." She said flatly and emotionless, eyes as dark as a pit. "Yes, I'm a runaway. Yes, I'm in the street. Yes, I don't go to school. And yes, I lied to all of you about... well, everything." Regret flashed briefly in her eyes but it was soon gone. "And now that you all know about me, I'm going to... to fucking disappear again." She finished, this time with a venom laced voice.</p><p>She went to grab her coat but Dina reached for her, eyes pleading and desperate.</p><p>"Wait, Ellie stop-we can talk about it."</p><p>"No! I'm not going back to him!" Ellie snarled. Her voice was controlled, but Dina knew fear and pain when she saw it  and Ellie's eyes were so full of rage, terror and suffering that it brought tears to her eyes. Cat got up from the chair and wrapped her arms around the red head, trying to ush her into a more calmed state, not quite understanding the situation, but her girlfriend was upset, and she despiced it.</p><p>"Ellie, no one is going to do anything okay? You're safe here. Just breath with me."</p><p>Ellie wanted to fall into her embrace and tell herself everything was going to be okay. That she could trust them. But then there was David. David who haunted every single of her nightmares. David who had beat her to submission, scarred her body bloody. David, who had gone down on her like an animal. David who made her hate life, who took everything from her. David, whom she had trusted so much after her parents death. Why was she to suffer like that ? She wished her mom and dad were still there. So she could run to them and feed into her warmth and love. Her mother would caress her hair and her father would promise that everything was going to be fine. She closed her eyes tightly. But it was reality and decisions needed to be made.</p><p>"I-I-I need to think." She muttered, more for herself than them, gently pushing Cat off of her.</p><p>Her hands wrapped aroud her coat and she left swiftly, leaving the door open.</p><p> </p><p>------------------------------</p><p>Ellie didn't know for how long she ran, but her legs had begun to burn halfway throught her run. She had ignored it, her mind too occupied by all of the shitstorms she had caused.</p><p>How come they knew ? Oh come on, you're the worst at lying. How often did dad tell you that ? But I've been careful. Not careful enough. She groaned. All of this thinking was giving her an headache.</p><p>Ellie finally stopped, leaning over to try and catch her breath, and she heaved a bit. The run had left her breathless, and she was already starving from the physical work she had done at Joel's. Not a good combinaison.</p><p>Her head felt heavy with consequences as she was recalled how close she was of breaking down in front of everyone. How utterly ashamed and embarassed she felt at her living situation. How panicked and terrified she was at having to go back to David's. She closed her eyes, letting her aching lungs pump back the air they have been deprived of.</p><p>The streets were quiet as she continued to walk bristly, gears turning in her head. What to do now ? Having Joel aware of her situation was one thing, but now, there was too much people in the loop. She had to disappear, but to go where?  She chuckled lightly. Things were too good to last, uh? </p><p>Her phone suddenly rang, and she checked the caller. Cat. Of course. She also saw that she had been leaving her numerous texts, telling her to come back, that they could talk, that she didn't have to worry about anything. But Ellie ignored it, her heart stinging with guilt as she sat on a bench to give herself a break. The cold night chilled her to her bones, but she was sweating under her clothes. </p><p>Ellie hid her face behind her hands and leaned over, trying to calm her fast beating heart and ignore the hot prickling at the back of her eyes. She was lost in her own thoughts for she didn't know how long until she heard uneven, heavy footsteps. Panic surged in her brain as she quickly pulled her trust knife out without a second thought at the upcoming attacker. But she actually recoiled upon recognizing who the person was. Dina gasped and took a step back, hands held up in the air like she was going to be attacked. Ellie's arms shook as she muttered an apology and put the knife back in her backpocket. </p><p>"D-Dina." Ellie stuttered, eyes looking down like a kicked puppy. "What the hell are you doing here ? Where's Cat and-and Jessie?" She managed to get the words out, but she felt breathless and tired.</p><p>"They stayed inside." Dina answered softly, shifting on her feet as she briefly gazed down at her shoes, but soon enough, her eyes were back on the troubled teen, looking at her with a gentleness Ellie couldn't bear to look at.</p><p>"So what ? You came to laught at me ?" Ellie snarked with a raspy voice, sitting back on the cold bench and playing with the holes in her jeans, only wanting to have something to do with her hands as anxiety crept up like a poisonous snake, slipping its fang in and mercilessly tearing her walls appart.</p><p>"Ellie." Dina took a deep breath, trying not to fall into Ellie's moody attitude. "Why did you run off like that ? It's late, the streets are dangerous-"</p><p>"Like I don't fucking know that?" Ellie laughed dryly. "Beside, I could say the same to you."</p><p>"Well, I couldn't just let you do something stupid." Seeing as the auburn haired girl had nothing do answer, she continued, voice vibrating with grief. " What's the matter with you?" Dina inquired, watching as Ellie sighed defeatedly. " I've never seen you act like that. You always keep your cool and now-"</p><p>"Well." Ellie cut, unapologetic. "I guess there's a lot of things you don't know about me."</p><p>Ellie knew she was being cold, and the last thing she wanted was for Dina to feel hurt. But maybe that if she could convince the girl that she was an horrible person, it would make leaving easier.</p><p>Thing is, she hated the idea of being on the end of Dina's hatred. It was such an infathomable idea that it left her sick in the stomach,</p><p>"Yeah." Dina muttered, eyes not leaving her hunched form. "I guess there is." She sounded as sad as she looked.</p><p>Ellie closed her eyes and ignored the pang of pain and loneliness in her chest. This was the moment she expected Dina to leave and tell the others how fucked she was. But she was wholeheartly bewildered when Dina took place next to her, so close their arms were brushing slightly and Ellie wanted nothing more than to lean into the touch as if it would bring her peace of mind.</p><p>"What are you doing?" Ellie asked, voice raw and husky as she watched the pony tailed girl get comfortable.</p><p>"I'm waiting for you to tell me." Dina replied as if it was the simplest answer to the simplest question.</p><p>Ellie frowned in confusion. "Tell you what ?"</p><p>"I want you to tell me who you are, Ellie Williams."</p><p>Her family name brought dread in the pit of her stomach, tasting like bile and hurting like acid. Made her think about her deceased parents. Made her recognize the fact that she shared that name with the man she despiced the most.</p><p>Feeling bolder than before, Ellie scoffed at Dina's request and tilted her head. "You don't want to know about me. I'm nothing but troubles."</p><p>As a matter of fact, Ellie was scared of pouring her heart out to her. She knew it would make her feel good,relieved, to be free of this burden. But she feared it would scare Dina away. Sweet, innocent Dina. Beautiful and comprensive Dina. She didn't want to taint her with her demons.</p><p>"There's nothing to say." Ellie lied, whipping her nose with the sleeve of her jacket, eyes casted downward.</p><p>Dina watched as the red head bowed her head in defeat, watched as one stray strand of hair fell limply along the lenght of her face, almost down to her chin. Her eyesbrows were scrunched in thought, wrinkling her perfect freckled skin. Dina's stare lingered on the scars on the girl's face, more specifically on the thin but deep scar tissu slicing the right eyebrow. Her thumb ran across it, felt as the rugged skin sent shivers down the teenager's spine, green eyes searching for hazel in desperate attempt for touch and attention.</p><p>"It was not a fight, was it ?" Dina ask, voice soft and reassuring, almost spoken directly into her ear.</p><p>Ellie gives her a side glance, and Dina is watching her in a way that make her heart quiver. Her eyes are red and puffy, as if she had been crying. She was looking at her expectantly, patiently. Dark eyes turning into a softer shade as she leaned to touch the girl's arm, as if to tell her that it was okay to unravel. To share a bit of her burden. Dina hoped to make the girl feel at ease.</p><p>Words swirled furiously before she decided to let them out. It wasn't. It was him."</p><p>Dina didn't need to ask whom, she knew. She wasn't stupid. Ellie was obviously running from that man, the priest. Her uncle. She had read the article from the first to the last word. How her parents had died from a car accident caused by some drunk driver. How she had stayed at her uncle's home for a while. How she had disapeared during the night. How the article had described her as volatile, dangerous and unpredictable. Ellie was a lot of thing, but she wasn't some kind of delinquent.</p><p>"Wanna talk about it?" Dina's voice soothed her worries, and Ellie just wanted to tell her everything, but how would see react ?</p><p>Ellie shrugged, almost angrily and she stood up to stand in front of the girl with her arms crossed.</p><p>"You want to know, hm? You wanna know the kind of person I am, Dina ?"  She ask in a challenging yet accusating tone, crossing her arms as if to block the feelings in.</p><p>Dina didn't answer, but her gaze spoke for her. They lingered over Elĺie's shattered face like a rag cleaning up bleeding wounds.</p><p>"Well, I'll tell what kind of person I am, since you're fucking begging for it."</p><p>She was about the pour her heart out to the girl when a painfully familiar voice interrupted her.</p><p>"I finally fucking found you." The voice was gruff and imposing, it made the two girls head snap to the side, and Ellie's eyes went wide in panic as she recognized the tall, neatly shaved Seraphite, followed by a man she didn't know,</p><p>Fuck!</p><p>"Dina, run!" She cried out, taking her hand and forcing her onto the empty street under the surprised but infuriated eyes of the two man who followed suit.</p><p>"Ellie-El-Ellie, wait-why are we running ?" Dina asked breathlessly, trying not to stumble under the redhead's speed.</p><p>"No time to explain, just fucking run!" Ellie's panicked tone was something she didn't hear often and she turned her head toward the two men, one of them pulling something shiny from its pocket and her heart dropped.</p><p> </p><p>"Holy shit! He has a gun!"</p><p>"Wha-"</p><p>An ear shattering  bang exploded as something hard and cold grazed the red head's cheek, leaving behind a thin trickle of blood. Both girl screamed as another bang erupted in the air.</p><p>"Oh fuck oh fuck!"</p><p>Ellie needed to find a solution, or they both would be found lying in a ditch tomorrow by a local runner. Her grip around the girl's arm tightened as he fired again, this time too close to Dina for her taste.</p><p>She needed to get Dina out of this. As they reached for a crossroad, Ellie pushed her in a nearby alley, trying in vain to catch her breath. She looked at Dina, whose eyes were wide, confused and terrified. She gripped her shoulders, hard. Sweat drippled from her forehead and into her eyes, making her blink more than she needed to. Ellie stared at her with urgency. Dina stared at the blood on the white skin with trembling lips. Ellie wanted nothing more than to lean down and kiss her but there was more important matters at hand.</p><p>"Dina, you are going to run down this alley and go home, or whatever. You just fucking run and you don't look back."</p><p>"Wait what ? And-and what about you?" Dina stammered, skin boiling under her clothes from a rush of fear she had never felt before. As she spoke, her hands went to grab for the taller girl's arm, praying that she wasn't about to do what she thought she would do.</p><p>"I'll be fine. I'll call you when I can. And don't call the police."</p><p>"Wait Ellie? What- who are they ? Why are they after you?" Dina's panicked state broke her heart and she smiled sadly at her.</p><p>"I told you I was trouble. Now fucking run!" She yelled, pushing her off toward  the other end and leaving the alleway, waving her hands. </p><p>"Hey, fucker, I'm here ! Catch me if you can !"</p><p>They growled and changed direction to run after her, missing every shot they fired at her.</p><p>Great. Now she needed to figure out how the fuck she was going to survive that.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ellie had never ran for her life before. Never felt close to death whatsoever, even within David's evil clutches. She never felt her muscles burn and tighten to the point she feared they'd rip. Black spots covered the corners of her vision and air was almost non existant as she finally came to an halt near an old bus stop, barely holding herself upright as she nearly came crashing down on the ground.<br/>Fearful, she looked behind her but the men were nowhere in sight. They probably ran out of breath miles ago but she hadn't stopped to make sure, had ran until she came close to nausea and exhaustion. </p><p>She looked herself over for any injury but other than her scratched cheek she was fine. She didn't know by what miracle she managed to not be shot but she was thankful for whatever entity that was up there. </p><p>She closer her eyes while taking big moutful of cold air, body and clothes dampened under her jacket. Even with her eyes closed she could see the look of shock and fear in the beautiful brown eyes of Dina, mouth slightly open in confusion as her chest heaved deep gulp of air when Ellie forced her to run. She hoped she escaped and got to safety. Now, there was no way she would want to see her face again. And there was no way Ellie would ever hold her gaze again. It was too dangerous for her. She had too much people who loved her to die stupidly like that. </p><p>Once she was sure she wasn't gonna throw up or faint, she pulled her phone from her pocket, and winced at the screen. </p><p>33 texts and 14 missed calls. </p><p>Well, fuck. </p><p>She wasn't in the mood to read them all so she skipped over them. </p><p>-ellie fuck where u-  Cat<br/>"Ellie I'm home please let me know if you are safe- Dina<br/>-Ellie are you okay  ? Please call me- Dina<br/>-elli i swear to fckjnf god i wikl kill u if you dont answer my call- Cat<br/>-ellie plz i love you - Cat<br/>-dude the girls are going crazy dina said you were in danger i called the police- Jesse<br/>-dude its not funny- Jesse </p><p>Ellie groaned loudly at that. The police was the last thing she needed. She was about to curse to the sky when she heard familliar sirens that made her stomach churn with dread. Floating images of the rough floor against her face with the weight of David laying on her back swirled around in her mind and she shook her head to chase away the thoughts and the gut wrenching ache it brought. </p><p>She flew from her spot and decided to hide behind a dumpster until things calmed down, she figured she might as well tell Cat she was okay, and she'd pass the message to the others. </p><p>-Cat, i'm fine.- was all she wrote, thumbs trembling over the keyboard as small drops of salty water blurred Cat's immediate answer.<br/>Ellie hid her mouth with her hand, eyes closed tightly in the hope to make the distress go away. Wet trickles of tears traced irregular patterns on her red cheeks, leaving behind muffled sobs and whimpers. She felt so scared and alone and misunderstood. She kicked a small pebble away, watching with satisfaction as it rocketed against the brick wall. </p><p>She didn't check her screen to see Cat's answer, and she tucked her head in her arms to drift away to the sound of cars in the distance. </p><p>----------------- </p><p>She woke up not too long after to the sound of footsteps coming her way. She instinctively crounched more against the dumpster, not noticing how freezing she was, and how painful her cheek has gotten. </p><p>She closed her eyes tightly as the pairs of footsteps got closer and closer, and she found herself hoping it would at least be a swift death. </p><p>"Ellie?" The voice was panicked, troubled. </p><p>She opened her eyes softly and looked up all teary eyed towards the apparition, the beating of her heart slowing to a gentler battering. </p><p>"Hey Joel." She muttered lazily, eyes trailing over his reassuring face.<br/>"God girl, do you give everybody this much grief?" He sighed, head dropping in relief to see her in good shape.<br/>"How d'you find me ?"<br/>"I helped him." Cat came from behind the massive body of Joel, eyes red and puffy. </p><p>She wasted no time and took the younger girl into her strong arms, shaking her head in disbelief against her shoulder. </p><p>"Silly girl, stupid, stupid girol. God, you're so stupid." She breathed, taking in the scent of the troubled teenager. "God, you scared me half to death. Dina came barging throught the house, rambling something about you being chased by thugs with guns. She was crying and panicking and we called the police and  -fuck, I couldn't just stay there ! So I went where you lived and well, Joel here came to help me look for you. Then we saw a leg behind the dumpster and fuck, we imagined the worst. Fuck, Ellie... Fuck! Don't ever do that again." Cat pleaded, hanging her head to her chest like a scared child. </p><p>A small smile formed on Ellie's lips as she watched the girl tug on her shirt for dear life. She shared a glance to Joel who crossed his arms, seemingly more tired than ever after this hellish chase. Ellie's heart swelled at the display of affection she received and didn't deserve. </p><p>"You guys were really worried?" She asked, trying not to believe in their lies.<br/>"Godamn, kiddo, I think you swept ten years off my life today." Said Joel, heavy bags under his eyes.<br/>"I'm sorry, guys. To be a burden for you "Ellie muttered, knowing they all had to work or go to school in the morning and that they were out in the middle of the night instead.<br/>"Hey, Ellie, no, stop." Cat put her hands on each side of her face, thumb carefully stroking the injured skin. "You're not a burden. And please, don't worry about this article, okay? We don't care where you come from, Ellie Williams." She reassured, mouthing her name as if to ground her to the facts. Followed by a smile that made Ellie want to wrap her arms firmly around her body. </p><p>"Dina and Jesse..." She started, not quite knowing where she was going with it.<br/>"They're fine. Dina is a bit shaken up, but I told her you had texted me. I think they went to bed. Come on, you are freezing and you must be tired. Come on." She helped the redhead up and held her by the waist. Ellie just felt lazy and exhausted, physically and mentally. She put her hand in the small of the girl's back covered by her leather jacket. "Where's your bike?"<br/>"Left it at Joel's. Come on, dummy." </p><p>Cat helped the smaller girl into the back of Joel's car, Ellie's head hanging limply on Cat's shoulder, exhaustion blurring the coŕner of her sight and making her eyelids heavy. </p><p>"I'm glad you guys are here." She whispered drowsily, closing her eyes. </p><p>She couldn't see it, but Cat shot her a loving glance and ran her hand in the auburn hair. </p><p>"Just sleep a bit, you're safe." </p><p>And Ellie did just that.</p><p> </p><p>-------------------------- </p><p>Ellie woke up to the smell of bacon and pancakes. Her stomach had been twisting painfully in hunger all night, keeping her on the edge of a good night sleep. She opened her eyes lazily, letting the events of last night circling back in her memories. The fear, the solitude and the rejection. She just wanted to go back to sleep and that's what she did, only to be nudged smoothly by the shoulder. </p><p>"Wakey wakey, babe." Cat cooed, voice low as to not disturb the drowsy girl too much.<br/>"Let me sleep." Ellie groaned, more tired that she ever was before.<br/>"Come on, sleepy head. That breakfast isn't gonna eat itself, now will it ?" </p><p>Seeing as she didn't react, Cat leaned in and peppered her cheek with loving kisses, smiling when she felt her lips stretch upward. </p><p>"You're bothering me. I'm so tired." She grumbled, finally rolling on her back to rub her eyes.<br/>"Yeah, no shit Ellie. But you need to eat a bit, yeah?" </p><p>Ellie nodded begrugingly and sit up, felt just how stiff she was. She hoped her pursuers woke up with aching legs too. Cat's hand trailed over to her leg, patting it softly as Ellie noticed the presence of the heavy blanket at her feet. </p><p>"Whatzthis?" She slurred sleepily, taking the fabric into nimble fingers. </p><p>Cat's other hand went to scratch the back of the teenager's neck, letting her feel loved and desired. It was hard to keep her hands to herself when she was looking so vulnerable and cute. </p><p>"You had a massive panic attack during the night. It's a wonder you don't remember. We almost thought you were gonna go all serial killer on us." She joked and beamed when she saw playful roll of her magnificent, canopy colored eyes.<br/>"Kiss me." Ellie said, plain and simple, tugging on the older girl's sleeve. </p><p>Cat was more than happy to oblige. Her lips met Ellie's owns in the most loving way possible. Ellie put her hands on the t shirt clad ribs while Cat's hands now rested on her shoulders. Cat tried to pour all of her feeling and longing into the kiss, wanted Ellie to feel that she wasn't alone, that she was loved. She groaned a bit when Ellie bit too hard on her upper lip and separated. </p><p>"Dude, I know I taste good and that you are inexperimented, but ease a bit on the bitting, okay ?" She said with a smile, watching how Ellie blushed and nooded sheepishly.<br/>"You're fucking cute." She muttered to her and her only before stealing a quick kiss, thumb tenderly brushing over the red scratch on her cheek. "Does it hurt?"<br/>"Nah, s'good. I like you." Ellie blurted without thinking, with the only desire to speak her mind.<br/>Cat shot her a small smile, eyes shimmering behind her glasses. "I like you too dummy. Come on now, I'm starving and they're waiting for us." </p><p>Ellie cursed under her breath and got up from the bed. Joel had insisted they slept inside for the night, to give him peace of mind, so he had prepared the guest room for the couple to snuggle in. </p><p>"I'm so tired." Ellie mumbled grumpily, putting her flannel from yesterday back on. "Aren't you supposed to be at work? What time it is?"<br/>"It's 11:12. You slept a lot  and to answer your question, there is no way I'm leaving you alone today. We are going to spend the day togheter, watch movies and eat junks. Today, I'm taking care of you, so you're allowed to be grumpy and lazy." Cat purred, taking her into a side hug to which Ellie participated, wrapping the taller girl into her strong arms. </p><p>There was something about Cat that was so alluring. She made Ellie feel like she was the most precious thing in the world, and she actually felt safe by her side. And safety wasn't always something that had been quite present in her life recently. </p><p>Cat took the auburn girl by the hand, leading her to wherever the delicious smell came from. </p><p>"You know, actually..." Ellie started, feeling happier. "Today could be a really good d- you gotta be fucking shitting me." The girl snapped upon seeing three heads look up from their plate to stare directly at her. </p><p>Dina immediately shot from her place to take the taller girl in her arms, hugging her so tight Ellie felt like she was choking and she didn't know if she was liking it or not, but it sure felt dizzying to be so close to the black haired girl that she could smell her coconut oil shampoo. It was enticing and yet, she felt like she had no right to like it so much, especially with Cat that close to her. </p><p>"What are you all doing here ?" Shame crept up Ellie's cheeks, she hated being the center of attention and she found herself avoiding everybody's gaze. Joel set down a plate of pancakes, bacon and sausages in the empty space between Cat and Jesse. Ellie couldn't help but notice how everybody looked tired and exhausted, herself included. "Aren't you supposed to be working, Joel? And-and school-"<br/>"There's more important matters at hand." Joel's voice retorted, turning off the oven and setting his own plate on the table. "How you doin' kiddo?" </p><p>Ellie didn't answer, too busy trying to fight off the mental breakdown about to emerge in the most catastrophic way. She settled her green eyes on each of her friends. Joel was his own man, never one for drama, even less for teenage drama. She didn't know how he was convinced to have a bunch of teenagers at his table but he didn't seem to mind, he even seemed happy with the distraction. Jesse was stuffing his mouth with pancakes and milk, using the food to avoid talking. His hair was disheveled and his eyes red and tiny  - well, more tiny than usual. His big frame was hunched over and Ellie could tell that he just wanted to go back to bed. If she was to guess, the cause of his fatigue was more because of a stressed out Dina than herself. Cat was seated, and she looked like a kicked puppy. She shared a gaze with her, and she could tell the asian woman was feeling apologetic. It was evident this little meeting was not her idea and she would make sure to make up for it. </p><p>And finally, Dina. </p><p>Sweet, beautiful, generous, stubborn Dina. </p><p>Dina, who had brought the light into her dark, cold life, who had been the inferno to melt her icy walls. Dina, whose eyes were the purest color of chestnut. Dina, who would reach for her hand if she was to ever fall from grace. </p><p>Dina, the woman who made her feel loved and human. </p><p>Dina, the woman who was also not gay, in a relationship and definitely not into her. </p><p>Ellie sat with a pained sigh, feeling the beggining of a headache claws at her brain. Shit, it was way too early for this. </p><p>"Well, let's get this over with I guess." She didn't even try to hide her discomfort and annoyance, she wanted to let them all know how pissed she was at the situation. </p><p>Joel cleared his throat but he was hesitant to start. Breakfast around a bunch of kids was visibly out of his comfort zone, and the situation at hands was particular, to say the least. </p><p>"Looks like you got yourself in a situation." He breathed quickly, concentrating on his still steaming food. </p><p>Ellie blew on the stray hair in front of her face, looking down at the food on the table. She sighed over the fact that she didn't feel as hungry anymore. </p><p>After a long, uneasy silence, Dina was the first to talk. </p><p>"Okay, so... I would like to know what happened yesterday." She said, with a half fake chippery voice, overly cautious as to how to approach things with her friend. </p><p>Ellie had no desire to answer her question, even less in front of an audience. She felt like a deer in headlights, like the sole survivor of a massacre, like the accidental smudge of red paint on a white wall. What was it with people wanting to get all in her business ? Couldn't she have secrets too, or was it everyone's right to know ?<br/>But on the other hand, Ellie was tired of hidding things. She gazed down at her meal, wondering if they would drop the subject if she didn't say anything. After a few seconds of silence, someone dropped his fork a bit too violently against the plate, creating a clanking sound that made Ellie wince. All looked to the general<br/>direction of the sound to see that Jesse had stood up, and he suddenly stiffened at the attention. He ignored them and turned to face the girl. Next to Ellie, Cat straightened her back and kept her eyes on her cousin as he came to take Ellie's shoulder in his big hand. </p><p>"Stop fucking around, man. Whatever is going on with you almost got my girlfriend killed. So either you talk or I'm calling the police." Jesse's tone was harsh, his usual carefree demeanor gone. Threat flashed in his eyes, alongside fear. He had truly be terrified for Dina after she came back from running off after Ellie, frazed and almost in a panic like state. </p><p>"Jesse!" Scolded Dina, unhappy with his choice of words. </p><p>Upon hearing this, Ellie suddenly stood up from her seat, and her eyes met Jesse's, hard and unmoving. </p><p>"If you do that I'll fuck you up man." She threatened, and she totally would if he dared to put his words into actions.<br/>"Jesse, stop." Cat interrupted, pushing his cousin away by slamming her hand into his broad chest. "He's not gonna do anything." She reassured her girlfriend, gently taking her hand into hers. </p><p>Joel watched the scene with careful eyes, feeling a bit awkward with all this drama at his table, but ready to stop any fight if it was to happen. He was totally against Jesse's idea, that was for sure. </p><p>"Jesse, what the hell is wrong with you?" Dina cried out, grabbing his shoulder to turn him around so he would face her.<br/>"The hell is wrong with me ? Fuck- Dina, they had a gun! I don't care where she's from, but it's another thing to bring us in her troubles! You could have been shot !" His concerns were legit, and it sent an overflowing shame pour all over Ellie, who started to bit on her lip and she looked down at the ground, trying to focus her attention on the warm skin in her hand instead of the boiling anger in her veins.<br/>Dina didn't seem to care, and snarled at him. </p><p>"Fuck, you always do that, I can take care of myself, alright ?"<br/>"Maybe this time you did, but there will be other times Dina, and we might not be able to run next time ! Fuck I- I don't want anything to happen to you, D. You're my best friend."<br/>"Yeah, well, you're not the boss of me." Dina challenged, hands on her hips and mouth in a thin line, glaring at a pretty irate Jesse. </p><p>He was about to retort but Ellie suddenly spoke up. </p><p>"I'll talk, okay ? Just... don't fight." She pleaded with a small, quivering voice. </p><p>Joel frowned. "Now kiddo, you don't have to tell 'em anythin' you don't want to.  Want me to throw 'em out ?" He asked, dead serious. </p><p>Ellie smiled faintly at the man's devotion but she shook her head. " no I-I owe them the truth. Just... please, don't call the police." </p><p>Jesse instantly calmed down and took back his arm that Dina had been clawing at. Cat mumbled something about brats under her breath and kissed Ellie's palm. " you okay?" She mouthed, eyes meeting green ones in worry. Her girlfriend nodded absentmindly, already regretting her decision, but it was the right thing to do.<br/>Ellie sat back down on the chair, the wood suddenly feeling cold against her flannel clad back. People started to eat again, but hers was left untouched. </p><p>"I'm Ellie Williams, and left my uncle's home because of physical and-and sexual a-abuse." She stammered, eyes casted down as she stumbled over the last, difficult words. </p><p>There was a serie of gasps and clangs as forks were dropped onto plates. Joel ran an exhausted hand across his weathered face. He had been expecting it, but hearing it said out loud by the girl made it more real than he was ever prepared to hear. Jesse looked guilty and Dina hid her face behind her hands, eyes tearing at the revelation. Cat took Ellie in her arms, muttering a serie of apologies in her ears. This was the kind of reactions the young girl had been dreading. Pity. </p><p>Fuck, she hated pity. It scratched and bit furiously at her high walls of pride. </p><p>"So you've been on your own all this time?" Cat asked with a voice so tender, it tore the redhead's heart out of her ribcage.<br/>"Well... yeah."<br/>"Oh, El..." Cat closed her fingers over the girl's jaw, ready to lean in for a kiss but Joel's subtle cough made them stop on the spot, both suddenly just as red as the man in front of them. </p><p>Ellie felt Dina's stare on her and became self conscious. She had seriously thought the truth would have drove anyone with common sense away. She hesitated, but it took a bit of courage to finaly rest her eyes on the smaller girl, painfully aware of the stomachache the anxiety of the moment was giving her.<br/>Dina's brown eyes were nothing but concerned, brows stressing worry lines on her forehead. Ellie allowed herself to swim in the colors of those eyes, breathing the beautiful sight of her like it was the very first time. For as long as she remembered, the idea of letting Dina known about her situation was an unfantomable idea. She wanted to appear so cool and tough in front of her, but she passed as incredibly awkward and pitiable. Ellie adverted her eyes, skin suddenly ichy. </p><p>Jesse added his grain of salt. His face and tone had softened, but curiosity was still present in his dark eyes. </p><p>"Okay, so, you ran from home. Then who's this man?" Jesse asked, trying to sound polite and not directly point the old man at their table feeling oddly awkward. </p><p>Ellie and Joel shared a look, none of them knowing how to explain their relationship. There was no label to name, but the man visibly cared for the teenager, and somewhat, the said teenager found herself not totally hating the man. Probably the only man she had learned to trust. </p><p>"He's my... uhh..."Words failed her as she realized that Joel and herself were indeed something. He wasn't a parent, nor was he a foster dad. She wouldn't really call him a caretaker or a stranger either. </p><p>Ellie wanted to fall back on her only card: lying. It had brought her out of many difficult situations. Somehow, though, she felt like it was one of those moments where lying was not an option. She wanted her friends to trust her, and they wanted her to be able to trust them. The most self-depreciating part of herself struggled to believe that anyone would ever find her likable. Or interesting enough to talk to. Even less befriend her. </p><p>"Let me." Joel said, seeing as Ellie kept opening and closing her mouth like a fish. </p><p>He stood up, much to Ellie's relief and gazed over all the tiny teenagers sitting at his table, briefly wondering how his life came to change these past few weeks. Ever since he crossed path with that independant, stubborn girl in the street. Ellie's confession was still painfully fresh in his ears, and he had to bite back a barely contained fury as he glanced at Ellie, wondering how could a man do that to a little girl. </p><p>He steadied himself with a breathy sigh and nervous cough. </p><p>"Now, don't you worry none young man, I mean Ellie no harm. I, uh, saw her sleeping on a bench few weeks back. Took her for breakfast and told her she was welcome in my shed anytime." </p><p>Joel cringed at his choice of words. That sounded so, so wrong. </p><p>"I didn't want her to sleep outside. It's dangerous, and, uh, cold."<br/>"Don't worry Jesse." Cat piped in, holding the redhead's hand for dear life. " He's cool. Helped me find Ellie yesterday."<br/>"Yes, about that..." Jesse trailed in, eyes centered on Ellie who completely avoided his gaze, keeping her eyes fixed on the warm hand holding hers. </p><p>Ellie wasn't big on sharing. She hated when people got all in her business. But yesterday had been a close call. It was one thing to be in danger, and another to bring her friends into it.<br/>Ellie let out a deep sigh, trying to decipher how she was going to explain what happened yesterday without it sounding too bad. Because it was bad, really, really bad. </p><p>"It's not really something I wanna say, but I'm telling you guys so you can stay safe." And away from me, she almost added with a heartache.<br/>"We're listening." Came Dina's reply, always so sincere and true. </p><p>Ellie looked down at her breakfast, her stomach in tight knots. She was feeling too nauseous to eat now. </p><p>"So uh, the guys from yesterday... it's kind of complicated..." </p><p>No one said anything, all looked at her with curiosity and eargerness, urging her to continue. </p><p>"So Jesse, remember when you told me about those Seraphites kidnapping someone or something?" </p><p>Jesse briefly rattled his brain, and nodded wordlessly, the events of that day flashing in his mind like a broken puzzle, because it had seemed unimportant to him. </p><p>"Well, that day, I went to see a friend. What you said had me worried for a kid I know. Turns out he was fine, but my friend did know about the kid that was taken." </p><p>She licked her lips wet, because they felt so fucking dry, drier than they ever been. Recognition shone on Dina's face as she remembered the way Ellie just bolted out of the restaurant in hurry. </p><p>"To make it short, my friend convinced me to uh... sneak into Seraphites' territory?" She finished with a wince, noticing how all faces fell. Yup, they knew who they were alright. </p><p>"The Seraphites?" It was surprisingly Joel who spoke first, hard, tired eyes setting on her. "They did that to you? It was 'em?" </p><p>He was refering to the day she showed up crying and injured on his porch, asking for protection and care. The memory was still too painful for both of them to think about but she nodded nonetheless. </p><p>Dina's eyes fell on Ellie's scar, still fresh from whatever cut she had acquired. Her face was sad and it pierced throught Ellie's heart to be the one to do this to her. It was the last thing she wanted. </p><p>That night had terrorised her deeply. She still had nightmares about it. But it was a one time thing, she had decided. She still needed to kill Abby for that. It was hard to think about it, even less talk about it. She wasn't ready yet, so she offered them the shortened version. </p><p>"We went to save the kid. It didn't go well and we were captured." She noticed how Cat and Dina's hands flew to their mouth, eyes wide in horror. Ellie scratched nervously at her neck, making a show of stretching it to give herself more time. It was the first time she actually wished they could leave. She'd happily go back to bed. </p><p>"The bruises..." Dina muttered, eyes fixated on her face, remembering every scratch and imperfection on the freckled face.<br/>"But why did you go?" </p><p>Ellie shrugged, eyes casted downward. </p><p>"I wanted to save that kid, I guess." She admitted. "We were saved by my friend's gang, the WLF. But now it seemed they are after me. Us." She added Abby in the mix, she wasn't alone back there. She still needd to kill the blonde about that. And to talk to her about what happened. Tell her to be careful. </p><p>Jesse nodded wordlessly, but he was still not happy with her answer. </p><p>"So basically, now, you have those Seraphites on your ass." He related, trying to he exactly sure of the situation here.<br/>"Yeah."<br/>"And you can't go anywhere near the police."<br/>"Yeah."<br/>"And we might become victims too because of your problems?" </p><p>The last question was said with a zest of venom in his tone, and to be honest, she could understand him. He was just trying to keep his people safe, and she was okay with them leaving her side for that. </p><p>" ... yeah." She finally answered with hesitation, eyes lowering to her barely touched plate. </p><p>Jesse rubbed his face with his hand, trying to make sense of the situation. </p><p>"And I guess nothing that I will say will convince you girls to stay away from her, uh?" </p><p>By the looks he received from his girlfriend and cousin, he had his answer. He sighed and crossed his arms. </p><p>"Fine, fine. No calling the cops then." He grumbled under his breath, visibly still mad about the situation. Dina lazily squeezed his shoulder to ease him into a more calm attitude and stood up. </p><p>"It was delicious Mr. Miller. But Jesse and I will be leaving. We'll try to attend afternoon classes." </p><p>It caused the asian guy to groan, "Do I have to? I just wanna go back to bed."<br/>"Yes, Jesse, we have to. Thanks for having us Mr.Miller. And Ellie?" </p><p>The said girl's head shot up reluctantly, eyes showing fear. But Dina showed nothing but warmth as she rounded the table to envelop the taller girl in her arms, squeezing tighter than ever before. Ellie felt every curve of the girl's upper body against her, tempting, daring. Ellie immediatly flushed red, hands hovering around Dina's waist without touching. She could feel her hot breath against her neck and it took her voice away. </p><p>"Thanks for sharing with us today. You know you can tell me about anything, right ?" Dina's hands rested on her shoulders, like a weight keeping her grounded to reality. Ellie nodded silently, green eyes locking with brown. Her heart drummed so fast, she was sure the whole kitchen could hear it. "Just... talk to me, okay?" Ellie nodded again. Dina's hands were so gentle and she wanted nothing more than take them and kiss them softly, but the trance was broken by Cat innocently grabbing the girl's head and bringing it on her shoulder. </p><p>"She will if she feels like it." Cat said, giving Dina a small, tired smile. </p><p>It seemed like Dina wanted to say more, but she tucked her lips between her teeth instead and took her leave, grabbing the taller boy by the hand. </p><p>Once the two teenagers were out of sight, Joel let out a relieved sigh. He took in the picture of the couple togheter, and smiled at them. </p><p>"You didn't touch your food." Joel said, eyeing the plate. "Not hungry?"<br/>"Ugh, I was before." She complained, eyes falling back on the now lukewarm crepes in her plate, stomach twisting painfully in hunger and nausea. "What the fuck was all that?"<br/>"S'rry 'bout that kiddo. They, uh, wanted to know how you were doing. They're a persistant bunch, but I'm glad you got those fellas on your side. Makes me relieved." </p><p>Ellie snorted. "Sure, old man." </p><p>"Ellie, now, be polite! Sorry Mr. Miller, I have yet to show her good manners." Cat teased, trying to act as if she wasn't just a leather wearing tattoo artist.<br/>"Excuse you! He likes it when I speak like that!"<br/>"No I do not." Joel's deadpan tone made her chuckle, and a quick look in his direction affirmed his amusement, tension from a moment's ago gone with the two students. Ellie thought about how much Dina had seemed worried and broken by the revelation. Something in Cat had shifted, and her expression had grown more tense and yet, Cat wasn't quick to anger. Joel probably knew it, but he didn't push the matter further and she was glad for it. Last thing she wanted was to explain with full details what David had done to her. In fact, if she had any say about it, she would never talk about it. Like, ever. </p><p>"So uh, that's your girlfriend?" Joel motioned to the tall curved girl next to her, and Ellie was reminded that she never truly presented them.<br/>"Yeah." The quick reply made Cat smile geedily, her hand reaching for hers and squeezing it.<br/>"We talked a lot yesterday." Cat said, eyes directed to the older man. "You were right stud, he's a good man."<br/>"She said that 'bout me?" Joel seemed content, hazel eyes glinting with a well deserved pride, and Ellie had to give it to him. She had learned to trust him and it was more than she could say about all the other men in her life. </p><p>Ellie felt herself blush nonetheless. She wasn't always good at showing affection, and it had left her distant, hard to reach. But it warmed her heart to see that people were still willing to try for her, and for that, she would make an effort. </p><p>"I'm sorry about running off last night." She blurted out, helping Joel as he was cleaning the table and putting the dirty platse in the sink. "It wasn't cool, but I was-... I panicked. I won't do it again."<br/>"You literally swept 10 years of my future. Christ." </p><p>Ellie gave him a lazy smile and looked at her girlfriend who was getting ready to go. "Ready, babe?" She asked casually, making sure she had everything. Ellie blinked, unsure, and she shook her head. </p><p>"Actually, I think I'm gonna stay here today." </p><p>Joel stopped whatever he was doing to gape at her, eyes wild in surprise. Cat looked at Ellie curiously, and a bit sad. "You sure?" They both asked, shaken by her sudden decision. </p><p>"Yeah, I'm really tired, and I feel bad Joel missed work for this so... And I want to convince him to teach me guitar. Maybe I could serenade for you?" Ellie grinned, one of those charming, crooked smile that made Cat goes weak in the knees.<br/>"Well, okay." She sighed. "Text me?" </p><p>Cat gave her a quick peck on the lips and Ellie bid her goodbye, watching her leave until the motorcycle was out of sight. Joel, who had yet to move from it frozen spot, furrowed his brows. </p><p>"Are you sure about this kiddo?"<br/>"Yes, old man. I... was thinking that maybe we could, uh... watch a movie ?" It took her a bit of courage to lift her gaze from the floor, a flicker of hopefulness in her eyes, suddenly aware that he could refuse. He did have things to do, did he? </p><p>A slow, fatherly grin made its way past his gruff demeanor, eyes brightening like she had never seem before, teeth showing behind old, cracked lips. Living, breathing pictures of her dad crowded the space winthin the void of her brain, his face smilling just like Joel did, teeth barely poking out of his teasing mouth. Muttering something about her mom's stubborness. </p><p>It made Ellie smile genuinely. </p><p>"'I'd like that. What 'bout one of those sci-fi movies? You like those, right? He asked, reminded of the comics she had started to buy for herself with the money he gave her for the chores.<br/>"Sounds nice." She accepted, helping him with the dishes. </p><p>They said nothing as they washed every fork and plate, working togheter as if they have been doing it for years, with a synchronicity only shared throught experience and trust. Joel threw quick glances at the smaller girl, the corner of his lips tugging skyward at the look of concentration and the slight pout on her face. No teenager liked doing the dishes, and she was no exception. Sometimes, it was hard to remember she was nothing but a kid. Her face was hardened, her jaw was sharp and her eyes held the pain of a hundred lives. And yet, she still found it in her to smile and love. </p><p>Sarah would have liked her. </p><p>He couldn't believe that somewhere, unfortunately far from his murdering hands, a man was walking around freely with the blood of the girl on his hands and the thought only made his heart burn with an undescriptable anger flowing throught his veins like drugs. The thought of a man violating this girl and forcing her to live like this... </p><p>That son of a bitch was lucky he hadn't been in her life sooner. </p><p>"So, about this guitar thing... He trailed off, wanting to take his mind off the topic. </p><p>Ellie's cheeks flushed a bright pink as she was recalled what she had told Cat few minutes prior.<br/>She hadn't thought at all about Joel's perspective on this. Unlike a movie, teaching guitar required time and determination. Now, Ellie knew she already had both, but Joel's case was different. He was needed at work 50 hours a week, had his own social life ( probably, she had yet to see anyone) and needed to take care of the house.<br/>Noticing she had yet to give him an answer, she cleared her throat and attempted to sound casual. </p><p>"Yeah, I just thought it sounded really cool when you uh, played it for me the other day. And I'd like to be able to play something for D-for Cat. For Cat. My girlfriend Cat." </p><p>If he heard her mishap, he didn't show it, his large hand coming to stroke his unkempt beard, pondering something under his breath. </p><p>"I reckon I haven't teached anyone since Sarah..." </p><p>Ellie sensed the tremble in his voice and the way his bottom lip quivered slightly.  She had seen pictures of his daughter, they were littered everywhere in his house. They hanged on the walls and framed his bedpost. The man never really grieved for his daughter, and it became clear it was still eating at him like poison. </p><p>"If you don't want to, it's fine Joel." She protested, not wanting to force the man into doing anything he wouldn't feel comfortable. </p><p>She snickered to herself. Tables have turned. </p><p>The man had faraway look in his eyes and it twisted at her heartstrings. She knew that look well, for she had sported it herself for years. Digging her hands into her pocket, she kept looking at him with those big, green eyes. Despite the memories in the shape of blond hair and blue eyes, the man smiled warmly at her. </p><p>"Tomorrow night, first lesson?" </p><p>Ellie smiled right back at him. "Deal."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi to you all!</p><p>I wanted to thank you all for reading my fanfictions. I may not answer you, but reading you is the best part of my day and it what's making me want to continue.</p><p>I decided the next chapter would be a free chapter. Meaning I will accept one of your request for the following chapter. It can be anything as long as it makes sense and doesn't differ from the story. So no "ellie is a secret spy working for the fbi" and no "smut".</p><p>If I don't get request, I'm going to follow the story as planned.</p><p>Take care, y'all.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"So, where do you want your tattoo?" </p><p>Ellie looked up from the comic she was reading: Savage Starlight, a special edition from three years ago. The girl stared blankly at the beautiful woman drawing on her computer. </p><p>"What tattoo?" She asked with cute confusion.</p><p>Rolling her eyes, Cat spinned on her chair et smiled at the teenager sitting on her bed, looking very much like a lost puppy. </p><p>"I told you I'd give you a tattoo. Did you give it some thought?" Cat asked, knowing perfectly well the answer she'd get. </p><p>Ellie was at lost of words. She brazenly watched as Cat crossed her arms, and stared at her tattoos. She had a full sleeve of black ink with unknown chinese writtings on it and an half sleeve of blue colored flowers twirled around her bicep. Another was peeking from the hem of her shirt, it looked like some kind of animal but most of it was hidden under her black shirt. Ellie had half a mind to take a peep for herself and she blushed at the thought. </p><p>"Take a picture, it'll last longer." Cat teased, grinning as Ellie snorted indignantly and went back to her comic. </p><p>She wasn't even two lines in the page that it was yanked out from her hands and thrown across the room. </p><p>"Hey, what the f-" </p><p>Loving lips interrupted her rant, terminating whatever she was going to say. Warmth blossomed in her chest and butterflies swam around in her stomach, made her ach for more. The kiss was slow and deep, Cat's tentative tongue softly licking her lips, begging for entrance. Ellie rested her weight on her hands behind her as Cat leaned closer, half her body shadowing the younger girl. All coherent thoughts flew out the window when she parted her lips to allow the invasive tongue in. She made a small sound as their tongue touched, tentatively tasting each other's in an dizzying dance. She felt Cat smile against the kiss and she pulled back, lips still wet and swollen from their exchange. Ellie looked at her with wide eyes, looking adorable and lost. </p><p>Making out was so new to her, and yet, Cat seemed to have plenty of experiences in the matter. </p><p>"How was it?" The black haired woman asked, sitting on the girl's legs and settling her hands on her tights.<br/>"How was what? Oh-ohh, the ki-ki- that." Ellie slapped herself for her rambling and stupidity. " T'was, uh, nice?"<br/>"Nice?" She parroted teasingly with a smile so wide it almost broke her face in two. "You're cute."<br/>"Why? What did I say?" She was kissed again as soon as she was done talking, and this time, Cat reached for her hair, getting her limb lost in the sea of auburn locks. </p><p>When they separated, Cat grabbed her arms, and ran two fingers across the smooth skin. </p><p>"Your arms are very longs. I think an half sleeve would look good on you." </p><p>Ellie followed the trails of her girlfriend's fingers as they left shivers across her body. Every of Cat's touche was novel and lingering, leaving her skin as if it had been burned. Ellie gulped audibly as her thoughts escaped the bubbles of familiarity and she gave her a true answer. </p><p>"Aren't those things like really expensive?" She inquired, trying to guess how the hell Cat expected her to pay.<br/>"You're my girlfriend. "She answered as if it was obvious. "A kiss is all the pay I need. Maybe a little bit more if you're up to it." </p><p>Oh god, Ellie's mind reeling with pictures she didn't want in her head. She imagined Cat pinning her to the bed as her mouth left a trail of wet kisses against her belly. She imagines what kind of sound would Cat make if she- </p><p>Nope. Noooooope. </p><p>"Yeah?" She blurted out in an anxious laught. "I think I can manage a kiss or two. But are you sure?"<br/>"Yup. There must be something you might want to do ?" </p><p>Ellie frowned and stared hard at her arm, turning it to observe all parcel of skin, trying to imagine a special design, unique just for her, cool looking but also meaningful. </p><p>Something sparked in her memory. </p><p>"There was a saying my mom used to tell me all the time. Everytime I was down, she would take my hands, look at me in the eyes and say 'when you're lost in the darkness, look for the light.' Think you can work with that ?" </p><p>Cat nodded at this little piece of information and stared, too, at Ellie's arm, trying to come up with something. </p><p>"What about stars?" </p><p>Ellie made a face. "I like them, but I don't think I'd want it as a tattoo. T'would be weird."<br/>"Okay Miss difficult." Cat snorted.<br/>"What about some fancy calligraphy?" Ellie proposed. "I've seen some that looked pretty good." </p><p>Cat didn't seem to share her enthousiasm on the idea and shook her head. </p><p>"I mean, we could, but trust me it's a bad idea."<br/>"Why?" The red head asked, watching the girl mindlessly draw slow circles on her forearm with her thumb.<br/>"Well, calligraphies tend to smudge a bit with the passage of time. It's gonna look good for a while, and after a few years it's gonna look like crap." </p><p>She took out her phone and googled some pictures to show the younger teenager. Ellie pouted but agreed with the tattoo artist. </p><p>"How do you feel about insects?" Cat asked, grabbing a pen and a sheet of paper to scribble something on it. </p><p>"Uh, they're alright, I guess?" </p><p>The only thing Ellie couldn't bear to look at were scorpions, but she was never telling her that. She turned her head toward the paper Cat was drawing on, stetching her neck to try and look at it.</p><p> </p><p>"No peeking." Cat smiled, pushing the teen down with a finger on her forehead. </p><p>Ellie snorted throught her nose and waited patienty, looking at her comic sadly laying on the floor out of her reach, and she wondered if she should get up and get it. </p><p>She was about to stand when Cat excitedly reached for her arms with a toothy grin, showing the drawing she had been working on. It looked weird and Ellie tilted her head to the side, frowning and squinting her eyes. </p><p>"What's that ugly butterfly?"<br/>"It's a moth, you idiot!" Cat barked grumpily.<br/>"Looks like an ugly butterfly to me." She teased.<br/>"Then it will look good with your ugly face. "She retorted.<br/>"Oww, good one. But seriously, why a moth?"<br/>"Moths are noctural.. well, butterflies. They are known to linger around light. I like to think I'm the light in your life." The woman said with a wink, making the younger girl blush furiously.<br/>"Sure, I guess." She mumbled, studying the drawing. "I feel like something's missing... give me that." </p><p>She took the pen and paper from Cat's hands and started drawing under the incredulous eyes of her girlfriend. </p><p>"You can draw?" She gaped, watching as Ellie's fingers danced over the paper, drawing slow, smooth lines like she did a million times before.<br/>"Kind of." Ellie was concentrated, replying without giving it much effort. </p><p>They stayed silent as she continued to draw, Cat shamelessly staring at every freckle, barely resisting the urge to kiss them all. Ellie was a bit rowdy and rough around the edges, but she was pretty. She had full lips that she just wanted to kiss endlessly, beautiful auburn hair tied in a low bun and eyes as green as grass. And now that she was eating more, she filled her clothes in a way she didn't before, showing off curves that definitely weren't there when she first saw her at the homeless center. Cat licked her lips in hunger and straightened her back when Ellie shoved the paper in her face, almost hitting her with it. She grabbed the sheet and examined it. </p><p>"Are those plants?"<br/>"They're ferns." She responded proudly.<br/>"Why ferns?" </p><p>Ellie shrugged. " I don't know, they look nice." Then she worried. "Does it look bad?" </p><p>Tilting her head, Cat analyzed the drawing, picturing it twirling around Ellie's arm. She took it between her fingers and placed the paper over her stretched arm. She made mental calculations in her head and smiled. </p><p>"Nah, looks good. I can work with that. I really like what you said."<br/>"What I said?" Ellie repeated, looking up from her arms to face Jesse's cousin.<br/>"When lost in the darkness, look for the light. I didn't pin you as an optimist."<br/>"I'm not." Ellie chuckled. "Which is why I need a reminder, I guess?" </p><p>She couldn't wait to show it to Dina. Her heart fluttered at the thought of a wide eyed Dina, gaping in front of the beautiful ink on her arm. She was going to like it, she thought. </p><p>She suddenly felt a weight on her lap, and she stared at the girl sitting on her lower body, hands resting on her shoulders. </p><p>"Hey." She said in a low voice, bringing on hand to held her around the waist.<br/>"Hey, love." Cat leaned in for a sweet kiss, hands squeezing the shirt clad shoulders in a gentle but firm massage, making the girl grunt in pleasure against her lips. <br/>"You know, your name suits you well." Ellie mumbled when they separated, eyes glinting with affection.<br/>"Hmmyeah?" Cat purred, lowering her face to snuggle her neck. </p><p>Heat pooled into her lower abdomen, and the butterflies became angry little bees picking at the lining of her stomach walls. Ellie gulped audibly, blinking away the haze. </p><p>"Y-you're just like a c-cat." She stammered, not knowing what to do with all those scary feelings in her chest and belly.<br/>"Hmm? Why's that?" Cat's breath was fire against her skin, Ellie was barely able to croak an answer.<br/>"You just... you l-look tough but you're a cuddler."<br/>"Oh, that I am." Smiled the taller girl, removing one stray hair from Ellie's face. " I'm hungry. Care to join me for dinner?"<br/>"Sure." Ellie slid her hand into Cat's, smiling at how well they fitted togheter, like matching clothes, or pizza and coca cola. </p><p>Dating Cat was like being on a rollercoaster. Whenever life was bringing her down, Cat would pull her up so fast it left her dizzy with a case of novelty. Everything Cat did was enticing.<br/>She was everything she looked for in a partner, and she made feel safe. </p><p>But not quite home. </p><p>The other girl with that attribution was mostly pushed in the corner when she was with Cat. Jesse's cousin knew how to take place in a room, and it was hard to pin too much on Dina when there was this beautiful biker looking at her like she had given her the moon. </p><p>But she could never stop the fluttering of her heart whenever Dina sent her a text or a picture. Or the mad rush of love she felt whenever Dina called her. Or the painful jaleousy when she heard Jesse laught in the phone. </p><p>Dina was number one, but unfortunately taken. </p><p>Granted, things didn'f feel forced with Cat. Her personality blended with her own, creating a perfect mix of colors, a new one, just for them. Cat made her feel fine and okay, safe and comfortable. Made her feel cold and hot, high on rush and low in sorrow. She loved whenever the more experimented girl pinned her on the bed, and how willingly Ellie would do the same for another black haired beauty. </p><p>She liked Cat, that was for sure. And she would be okay to stay with her for as long as possible before Cat gets sick of her. </p><p>Cat prepared a plate of spaghettis for both of them. When Ellie asked her why, Cat chuckled and winked at the confused teenager. "I was hoping to reproduce that restaurant scene from that Disney movie with the two dogs." </p><p>It took a small moment to Ellie to have recognition hit her in the face with an open palm. </p><p>"You're such a sap." Ellie mocked, crossing her arms with a faint blush. </p><p>Cat recognized the famous Ellie Ticks Of NervousNess, also known as ETONN. She needed to choose a better name, by the way. </p><p>When Ellie was nervous or embarassed, she would often look away and close herself by crossing her arms. Sometimes, she would scratch her ear or rub her chin against her shoulder. She would also play with her fingers if she hadn't already closed off. Ellie was Ellie, with her own small gestures that made her who she fell in love with. She was tough, but also so vulnerable under her high walls that Cat rammed herself into everytime. </p><p>"Come on, I was joking. We both know I'd do it without the food." </p><p>Ellie didn't answer, only shook her head as her girlfriend prepared the pasta. Cat, too, had those smalls everyday motions that Ellie loved to spot. Whenever she was nervous, Cat would shift her weight on her feet, and was usually restless. She'd unconsciously lift her eyebrows or do a pinced smile. And sometimes, althought not often, she'd put her left hand deep in her pocket. Ellie wasn't really observant, but she was genuinely interested in the older girl. She loved her mannerisms, and she tried everyday not to compare them with Dina's most subtil's ones. Like her sheepish smile, or the need to touch everyone and everything, as if to make sure they existed. </p><p>Okay, not so subtil on this one. </p><p>In any case, Cat was a mistery box that Ellie loved to dig in. </p><p>-----------‐-------- </p><p>Dina had been texting her a lot since her confession one week ago. Ellie had been meaning to visit Abby, but every day Dina would call her or text her, either to talk for hours or to hang out. Strangely enough, Jesse wasn't always part of their get togheters. Everytime she asked, Dina would wave her hand in dismissal, mumbling something about school or family's duties. It was like Dina never wanted anyone else with them, but she was probably imagining it. Everytime, Ellie asked if Cat could come. There was always a slight silence, then Dina mostly answered in a chippery voice and accepted. </p><p>But one day, Dina caught her as she was changing in her shed, fresh out of Joel's shower. There was maybe one hour left before he came home, and he expected hot water available. </p><p>"Hey." Ellie saluted, searching her left gray sock on the floor, then deciding to go for a random black one seeing as another gnome had stolen one of her sock.<br/>"Hey, Ellie. Am I bothering you?"<br/>"No, no, just, fighting gnomes..." She mumbled.<br/>"You what?"<br/>"Nothing, nothing. Why are you calling me?" Ellie asked distractingly, silently wondering if Abby would be in the cars cemetary tonight.<br/>"Well, I was wondering what you and Cat were doing tonight." </p><p>Ellie got up from the mattress, surprised by her friend's invitation. It was the first time she invited Cat too. </p><p>"Uh, nothing." She lied despite herself. " I was doing nothing. Actually, Cat is working."<br/>"Oh, is she now? That's so bad."  Somehow, Dina didn't sound disappointed, her tone was light, almost too joyful. It brought a quick light smile on the redhead face and Abby and Cat face disappeared from her mind which could barely keep up with Dina's voice. </p><p>"Yeah, so..." she trailed, unsure of what to say.<br/>"It's okay, we can go just the both of us. I got two tickets to see this new zombie movie at the theater. And it would please me greatly if my cutest friend could join me." </p><p>Her voice was like honey, smooth and thick in her ear. Ellie licked her lips unconsciously, noticing how dry her mouth was. </p><p>"Hm, well...I mean- yes, of course. I'm going to pick you up, thanks for the invitation." Now, Ellie was all smiles, and she was sure Dina could hear the beating of her heart throught the phone.<br/>"Alright handsome, see you later tater." </p><p>She hung up and Elllie grasped the cellphone tightly, frozen on the spot as realization dawned on her. </p><p>Dina invited her to the cinema.<br/>Was it a date ?<br/>Of course it wasn't, they were both taken.<br/>But Ellie liked to caress the idea. </p><p>"Fuck." She breathed, putting on a gray hoodie and her coat, unable to remove the excited grin from her face. </p><p>She had one anxious thought for Cat, and deep down, she asked herself if it was okay, what she was doing. But then she was recalled that this was only Dina and she just rolled with it. </p><p>She arrived at Dina's few minutes before 6 pm, all smiles like a kid on Halloween Day. It was Dina who answered, sporting one beautiful smile herself. </p><p>"Hey beanpole." <br/>"I think I can count with one hand the number of times you actually called me with my real name." Ellie deadpanned.<br/>"I love giving you nicknames. All of them suits you" </p><p>Ellie rolled her eyes. For all she cared, Dina could insult her endlessly and she would still take it with a smile. </p><p>"So, what were you up to today?" Dina asked, comfortably hugged by a light brown coat.<br/>"Oh, you know, nothing much. Did some house chores for Joel, read a comic. I was just out of the shower when you called me."<br/>"Oh?" There was a strange glint in her brown eyes. </p><p>She stood on the tip of her feet and inhaled deeply into Ellie's neck, sending the redhead's brain on overdrive. She stood perfectly still as her friend took a quick whiff and smiled gleefully. </p><p>"You smell good."<br/>"Uh, thanks ?" </p><p>Dina was the most confusing person she's ever met. It was difficult to decipher what was going on inside her head, if she herself even knew. Ellie was impulsive on her actions, but Dina seemed to always be able to speak her mind, whenever it suited her. She didn't doubt she was keeping a lot to herself, but Ellie was also mighty guilty of that herself. </p><p>"Man, last time I went to see a movie was with Cat. And with mom before that. I regretted it, she talked, like, the whole movie." Ellie chuckled, heart warming at the memory.<br/>"Do you miss her? Dina's voice was soft, and she sneaked her hand into her own's, squeezing it lightly to make sure she knew she wasn't alone. </p><p>"Yeah, a lot. I think about my parents every day." She admitted, looking at the ground. "A part of me wished I could have died with them. Well, a part of me really did die that day. I was, uh, never really the same after that." </p><p>Dina squeezed harder, pain written all over her face. </p><p>"How were you before that?" <br/>"Oh, I was a little shit." Ellie snorted. "I'd cause a mayhem. I pratically invented the "knock and hide" prank. I can't count the number of times a police officer would knock at my door to see my parents." </p><p>Dina tried to imagine a younger Ellie, still innocent from this world's horror and ready to take over the world. </p><p>"I bet you were a little monster." She joked.<br/>"Oh yeah, I was. I'd slap myself if I ever met me, because my parents never did. And look what happened." </p><p>The memories were painful  and yet, Ellie couldn't help but smile warmly at them playing over and over in her head. "Life was good, back then."<br/>"And how's life now?" Dina looked at her with a growing curiosity and interest, and it made the redhead feel guilty in her gut to have the girl look at her like that. She shouldn't love it so much. </p><p>"Well..." she trailed, careful with her words. "It doesn't suck as much." Dina shot her a knowing smile.<br/>"Glad to hear it, 'cause I intent to make it even awesomer." </p><p>Ellie's knees almost buckled under the intensity of Dina's pretty eyes. Whenever Dina looked at her like that, Ellie felt her body freeze and her throat close up. </p><p>"You... you don't need to do that, D." Ellie said, stopping short and pulling her hand out of the girl's grasp. She briefly lowered her gaze and brought it back to her, feeling awkward and small. "I can take care of myself." </p><p>Dina stopped short too, turning to face her fully. Ellie saw her put her hands on her hips, a typical Dina move. She was going to lecture her and Dina was the only person in the world she would accept a lecture of. </p><p>"Ellie, I'm not doing that because I need to. I'm doing it because I want to." Dina's eyes took her in for second, eyeing her up and down. Ellie felt a chill run down her spine.<br/>"I just want to spoil you. Because I'm your friend. Is that too much to ask?" Dina's question was simple enough, but it set her heart on fire, dopamin running throught her veins like heroin. She showed her a shy, embarassed smile, mixed with contentment. She finally looked at her, briefly allowing her body to show vulnerability. </p><p>"Okay." She accepted, truth as clear as day in the eyes she admired.<br/>"Cool." Dina responded, a bit taken aback by the lack of argumemt from the usually stubborn teen. "Then let's go." </p><p>They hopped into the bus and rode to the cinema, chatting and laughing at Ellie's horrible puns. </p><p>"You're such a dork." Dina had mocked, smile so wide it went from ear to ear. Her eyes were shinning with youthful innocence, and Ellie felt herself falling deeper in love every minute she was with her. </p><p>They made their way past the ticket lines and directly into the movie theater, grabbing drinks and a big bag of popcorn. Ellie had proposed to pay for her own bag, but Dina had insisted on sharing one instead, rambling something about it being more economical.<br/>Ellie shrugged and followed the girl inside. While Dina was buying, Ellie had sent Cat a quick test to let her know where she was and who she was with. </p><p>They settled for a place in the back. Ellie went along with every single of Dina's command, happy to be led around like a lovesick puppy. Dina's hand had barely left her wrist, and by the time she was able to retrieve it, her touch lingered on her skin long after she let her go. They got comfortable and watched the big screen advertizing upcoming movies. There was a few persons in the theater, all talking to each others, waiting for the movie to start. Ellie figured she should do the same. </p><p>"So, how's school?" Dumb Ellie. Of all the questions... </p><p>But Dina didn't seem to mind, sipping gracefully into her soda. </p><p>"Ts'good. But tests are coming and my mom's been lecturing me about studying more. And there's this boy bothering me in gym class. Jesse was clear with him that I was taken, but the idiot just keep coming."<br/>"Want me to beat him up?" She asked as a joke, but if asked, she'd admit that yes, she totally would.<br/>"Hold your horses Romeo, nothing I can't handle, okay ? Remember, black belt? Not a damsel in distress." </p><p>Ellie lifted her hands in self defense et nodded wordlessly. </p><p>"In fact, I bet I could take you on." And here came Dina's challenging tone, ever so exciting and infuriating.<br/>"Take me on what ?" Ellie asked, the sense of the words leaving a faint hue on her cheeks.<br/>"I bet I could win a fight against you." She rephrased, leaning in slightly.<br/>"Oh, probably. I don't know how to really fight. I just trash around and hope to hit something." She explained with self derision, making the other girl chortle lightly. "And beside, I wouldn't want to hurt you." She added, admiring the way the faint light emphrased every of the olive skinned girl's freckle.<br/>"Aren't you the perfect gentlewoman." </p><p>She tapped her leg and focused on the screen as the movie started. The room turned dark, so dark Ellie could barely see the silhouette of the girl next to her. A childish excitement rose in her chest, like a kid about to open her christmas presents. It had been so long since she last came to see a movie. Well, there was this one with Cat. Still, she could barely stay put. </p><p>The movie was gruesome, full of jump scares and blood splatterings. A part of Ellie had wished that Dina was the kind of girl that would cling to her at the faintest signt of gore scene, but unfortunately for her, Dina loved horror movies much more than her. It wasn't to say that Ellie was scared, not at all, but some scenes made her divert her eyes, sounds way too familiar to her troubled past for her liking. Granted, it was only a zombie movie, so it was easy to go past that and just enjoy the movie. She would avoid all psychological horrors and slashers if she could help it, though. </p><p>Definitely a moment to write in her journal. </p><p>Plunged in the dark, Ellie took the opportunity to stare at Dina from the corner of her eyes.  The jewish girl was eating popcorn like a squirrel, deeply engrossed in the movie. But it was the Dina she prefered, she never noticed that everytime Dina watched tv, Ellie would stare at her subtly and shamelessly, the same way Cat did to her.<br/>She frowned slowly, the thought leaving a sour taste in her mouth.<br/>She turned to face the big screen just in time to see a disfigured zombie jump on one of the protagonist, tearing half his face off in a guttural scream. </p><p>At some point during the movie, Ellie reached for the popcorn, eyes lazily fixated on the screen. As she made her way into the bag, Dina also reached for a fistful of corns, her hand brushing as they came in contact. Electricity shot up her arm and she glanced at Dina, whose eyes never left the movie. Each time Ellie tried to go for the popcorn, Dina would do the same and brush their knuckles and fingers togheter. At some point, Ellie got embarassed and just tucked her hands into the pocket of her hoodie, never noticing the way Dina glanced at her in this moment. </p><p>By the time the movie ended, the night had fallen upon them, envelopping the world in a dark blanket. Dina shivered, suddenly regretting bringing her lighter jacket. </p><p>"You cold?" She asked with a voice low and soft, hands reaching for her neck.<br/>"A bit." Dina answered, wrapping her body with her chilly arms. </p><p>Ellie didn't hesitate and separated herself from her jacket, careful as she wrapped it around her trembling shoulders. </p><p>"Ellie!" Dina cried out, eyes wide. "You're going to be cold too!"<br/>"It's okay." She shrugged lazily. " I'm used to being cold." </p><p>Dina looked at her with miserable eyes and sighed, smile returning on her face, small and tender. </p><p>"Alright, thank you." Dina whispered, burying her chin into the jacket. </p><p>They decided to walk back instead of taking the bus, their march slow and trailing as they chatted like old friends. Ellie had her hands tucked into the pocket of her jeans, looking at the scenery as she listened to Dina rambling about her adventures with her sister when they were younger. </p><p>"And then, I glued her shoe with glue, and Talia ne-ver saw it coming. She didn't understand why she couldn't pick up her shoe."<br/>"And what happened?" Ellie watched straight ahead, eyes scanning the surroundings, subtly making sure there was no threat ahead. </p><p>Dina was oblivious of her operation. "The shoe ripped in two and my mom grounded me for three weeks. Totally worth it." </p><p>Ellie shared an amused smile, and blushed a bit when Dina wrapped her arm around hers. </p><p>"Wanna go for a pizza?" Dina asked, despite the fact that she ate a whole ass bag of popcorn. </p><p>As much as Ellie wanted to spend every single second with the girl, she politely declined, announcing that she had something urgent to do. And it wasn't a lie, she had to go to Abby's. She feared that those bastards had gotten to her too. </p><p>"Okay." Dina accepted, a bit crestfallen. "Walk me home?"<br/>"Sure." </p><p>She didn't like the idea of deceiving her beautiful friend, but it was getting late, and the cars graveyard wasn't exactly close either.<br/>When they arrived at Dina's, the girl handed her coat back, smiling happily as she opened the door. </p><p>"I had a great time tonight."<br/>"Yeah, me too." Ellie replied truthfully. </p><p>There was a pause, and Dina slowly reached to kiss the cold cheek of a surprised looking Ellie. "See you later, Handsome." She winked, and closed the door softly, leaving behind a frozen statue. </p><p>She slowly touched her cheek where Dina's kiss still lingered like a tattoo, burning and ever so present. She did a candid smile to herself, heart beating so fast it pounded in her head like drums. </p><p>She took a minute to recompose herself and caught the first bus to the other side of town.</p><p> </p><p>--------‐----------------- </p><p>The car graveyard was looking more lively than usual. Ellie had feared that they wouldn't be there, but her fear had eased upon seeing three different heads around a cackling bonfire. They were in the middle of cooking something when Abby spotted a figure closing the graveyard's fence. She stood up, ready to pounce, until she recognized the girl. She smiled. </p><p>"Hey, pal. Long time no see, what's up?" </p><p>Ellie lifted an eyebrow at her, and at the two kids who had stopped talking to look up at her. </p><p>"Havin' fun?" She asked with a neutral voice, sitting down to let the fire warm her body. "Hey, Lev. Yara." She added, remembering the teenager's name.<br/>"You're Ellie, is that it?" Yara's eyes brightened when Ellie nodded. "Thank you so much for saving me. Abby told me about you but you were already gone when I woke up, so..."<br/>"Don't worry about it." Ellie forced herself to smile to that girl who was basically the same age as her, and had it just as rough.<br/>"What brings you here ? Want some marshmallows?" Abby proposed, sitting back in the old, tainted brown sofa that she had brought outside to sit in.<br/>"Isn't it a bit cold for a fire ?" Ellie lifted her scarred eyebrow.<br/>"That's why we have a fire." Lev answered softly, munching on his food.<br/>" ... fair enough. Look Abby, I'm hot here to chat. Something bad happened."<br/>"You looked into a mirror?" </p><p>Both Lev and Yara almost chocked on their marshmallows, the young boy high fiving the blonde woman who snickered. Ellie offered her a deadly deadpan, not amused look. </p><p>"Okay, fine, geez." Abby sighed, sitting straigher in the sofa. "What's got your panties on fire?" She took one big gulp of her beer. Ellie was tempted to take one but she didn't come for this.<br/>"The Seraphites are after us, Abbigail. They ran after me and my friend, with motherfucking guns! I almost got killed ! She half yelled, angry at Abby's lack of reactions.<br/>"Well, the way I see it, they're after you, not me." Abby pointed.<br/>"Abby, you don't understand." Yara finally piped in, a worried look on her face. "The Seraphites do not kill. They often carry guns just in case but rarely use it. Emily doesn't want it, so they are probably doing it in their boss's back."<br/>"Ah, cool." Ellie cried out, throwing her hands in the air. "They don't want to kill me, just shoot me enough so I go to the hospital!"<br/>"Oh no, they probably want to kill you all. Me included." She added in a lower voice. "And unless Emily sees in their little mission, there's no stopping it." Lev looked at her with fear, but her older sister smiled warmly at him, squeezing his hand in hers.<br/>"So we're doomed." Abby stated, strangely not feeling more annoyed at this as she should be.<br/>"Well..." Yara breathed, staring at her half burnt marshmallow. "You're mostly safe becau-"<br/>"Ah yes, I feel real safe." Ellie snorted, crossing her arms.<br/>"Let me finish." Yara responded with an autorithy too mature for her age that almost caught the redhead off guard. "Like I said before, they are probably doing it behind The Leader's back."<br/>"Meaning?" Abby snapped the twig used to stab into her marshmallow in half, the scent of food mixed with a general scent of old metal bringing a sense of security into her guts.<br/>"Meaning, there's must be only an handful of members after you. And this town is big."<br/>"So big I ran into them."<br/>"You were unlucky." The asian teenager stared at her, big, black eyes, attempting to ease security and reassurance into the green's without much success. "Just... stay in public places. Avoid walking around too late at night. You have better chance of finding a 20 dollars bill on the ground than running into them." </p><p>Ellie took a deep breath, trying to make sense of what was said to her, but her mind was in a fuzzy. </p><p>"See, dummy? No need to worry." Abby smirked at her and finished her bottle, sighing as she relaxed on her broken sofa. Ellie ran her hand over her mane in stress but seeing the confident look on Yara's face helped a bit to calm her worries. </p><p>"Alright, fine. I'll be careful." She mumbled, pulling her phone from her pocket.<br/>"Watcha doing?" The blonde haired adult tried to peek, but she was pushed away by her friend.<br/>"Texting my girlfriend to pick me up." She answered casually, thumbs skipping over the phone's letters. "Thanks for the phone by the way. Joel is paying it for me now." She hated the way his name slipped on her tongue, so casual and familiar. She wasn't used to it. </p><p>Abby's eyes nearly bulged out of their socket. </p><p>"You got a girlfriend, now  ? And who's Joel? Your sugar daddy?" </p><p>Abby's grin was huge as she nudged Ellie in the ribs, teasing her like kids would do in the classrooms. </p><p>"Cut it out!" Ellie complained, ushing her arm away. "Lev, tell her to stop! She's annoying, god, how much much drinks have you had?"<br/>"Six."<br/>"Ever heard of water? Heard it does wonder on the body."<br/>"Shut up."<br/>"She does drink a lot." Lev chimed in, earning a snicker from his sister. </p><p>They chatted, laughed and shared food and beers until a run down car parked outside the graveyard, making more noise than necessary and Ellie winced a little at the attention her girlfriend was gathering. </p><p>She stood up and dusted herself up before taking in the view of her attractive girlfriend marching confidently toward them like she owned the place. Abby whistled and elbowed the skinny teen. </p><p>"That's your girl? She's wayyyyy too cool for you, chicken legs." The muscular girl joked with a shit eating grin. </p><p>Ellie rolled her eyes so hard in her socket it was almost painful and she took the taller woman in her arms, smiling widely as they squeezed themselves in a tight hug. </p><p>"Hey, love. There you are. Nice place for a gathering." Ellie first thought was that she was joking, but her eyes were nothing but truthful.<br/>"So you're Ellie's girlfriend." Abby started to say, slowly standing up.<br/>"No time for that, it's late. See you later, Abby." The redhead grabbed Cat's arm and tugged her far, far from the blonde who was smirking like a winner, making a "yes sir" motion with her hand as the two girls left the place.<br/>"Who was that?" The black eyed woman asked innocently.<br/>"Just someone I know." She answered vaguely, not wanting for the two women to meet. Ever.<br/>"Should I be worried?" Cat waited before getting in the car, hair and leather jacket swaying softly in the wind, casting her a serious and doubtful look. </p><p>Ellie shook rapidly shook her head. "No, she's harmless. Mostly." She added in a low murmur. </p><p>Cat stared at her a moment then nodded, accepting her explication. If she didn't want her to meet this acquaintance, then she respected it. </p><p>"You know that you can talk to me, right?"<br/>"'Course I do." Ellie didn't want to pursue  this conversation, so she tried putting a good face on. "Of course I do, babe."  She repeated, smiling at her with care. </p><p>She didn't want Abby to meet any of her friends. Not that she was ashamed to be seen with her, but Abby was a constrat in her life. Cat was the goal in her life while Abby was only a reminder of the pain and what she wanted to leave behind. But she owed a lot to the girl, and despite their banter, she liked her enough. But the life she led was dangerous. Last thing she wanted was to bring the two girls she loved the most in her fucked up life. </p><p>They rode mostly in silence. Ellie decided to go spend the night at Cat's. After this long day, she was aching for a hot bath, and she didn't want to bother Joel this late. </p><p>As they snuggled togheter in Cat's bed, the older woman wedged her head in Ellie's neck, breathing the sweet aroma of her wheat and green tea shampoo. It was so unlike Ellie, and yet, she liked it on the girl. She nudged her lover closer, smiling at the "hmmmf" that involuntery left Ellie's mouth. Her body contoured her body perfectly, and it was like having her against her front was the most normal thing in the world. She kissed the shape of her neck with a kiss so light it barely grazed the skin. </p><p>"G"night, Ellie."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The shed shook and creaked when the wind blew past it forcefully, pulling at its restraint and so far, the wood held up just right, if a little painfully. </p><p>Outside, the air was vicious, cold and unforgiving. It was a bit below zero, and the grass and dried leaves had started to turn a bit paler, almost white as autumn turned over to give winter its own cold space. </p><p>Tucked underneath a thick layer of blanket, Ellie was looking at the ceiling, unable to go back to sleep. The portable heater casted a warm, orange glow, giving the girl a sense of security, a sense of home.<br/>She liked the shed, she truly did. It was cozy, small but big enough to go around freely without feeling claustrophobic. There was a TV, a small sofa, her hed, her pile of comics. She even hang some Christmas lights Joel had found in his dusty attic. It was becoming her place, Ellie's place, and it was all thanks to that shy old man in the house behind the shed. </p><p>He was the man who gave her breakfast and a proposition. He was the man who gave her substenance and a place to crash. He gave her space, but always made sure she was safe when she wasn't spending the night. He reminded her of her own father so much, it was unfair to him. She forced herself to separate the two. She told him the same about Sarah. She felt bad for leaving her uncle's house without her parent's photos, but at least their face were graved in her memory like a brand. She felt a painful pang in her chest, twisting and tearing. </p><p>Wind howled, like an invisible whistle. Turning over on her side, Ellie mindlessly checked throught her contacts, reading all the back and forth texts her friends and herself had sent in the past weeks. Her mind was still foggy and reeling from her nightmare,  hands shaking from the fear and the bone deep trauma. Another nightmare, with twisted snarls and dangerous eyes. It was either David, dead versions of her parents, some stuff that happened while she was living in the street or it was the Seraphites. Once or twice, it was about her friends leaving her and she was alone again.<br/>It always left her a bit numb and depressed in the morning. She would take her mind off by reading or practicing the guitar,  but she kind of sucked at it. Joel always told her that she only needed to build her calluses, but these days, she felt pessimistic. </p><p>She sighed, her thumb hovering over Cat's number, pondering silently if she could talk to her. She really wanted to call her, hear her soothing voice telling her things were gonna be okay. Cat had become an important person in her life, as much as she had trouble believing it. She was really trying to fall in love with her, but it only left her pinning more for the jewish girl who had stolen her heart forever ago. It was infuriating. So, so infuriating and it made her hate herself, for being with a woman as wonderful as Cat and wanting to be in the arms of a taken girl. </p><p>She stood up and turned on the light switch. She couldn't sleep, and yet she had to. Today was her first tattoo session, and Cat had told her to be well rested.  She lowered her gaze to her arm, turning it in every angle, trying to imagine the ink on the pale skin. She was a bit excited. She never thought about tattoos before, but it usually looked pretty cool. Maybe a piercing, next time. It sounded nice. </p><p>She looked down at her phone once more and cursed something under her breath before pocketing it and making her way toward the old guitar Joel gave her. It was faded and in a beaten up shape, but the old man had told her it was his when he was a teenager, now that was her turn to have it. Sarah never had any interest in music, she was more into sports, so he had been happy to give her such an important item. Even though it had seen better days, Ellie was taking care of it like it was her own baby, holding it firmly and cleaning it once in a while. Ellie had joked that it wad probably how Joel used to pick up girls in his youth, and the fact that he didn't deny it made it even better. It was hard to picture a young Joel, dealing with bad acnee and playing his guitar during lunch to have girls swoon over him. He was probably handsome. He still was, even late in his late fourties. </p><p>She began playing mindlessly, getting a feel of the hard metal strings underneath her fingers. The sounds that escaped weren't melodious nor even worthy of being called music, but she wasn't going for it just now. Joel had taught her that she needed to learn the sound of each string before she even tried to make music. He had still given her a few short and easy melodies to play, like twinkle twinkle little star, and happy birthday. Ellie thought it was dumb but she went along anyway. She just felt impatient because she wanted to create something for Cat, to please her, to see that loving smile on her lips, directed at her and her only. </p><p>Being loved by Cat was great, and she adored to spent every waking moment with her. She didn't care where she came from and what she was doing. She trusted her and expected nothing in return. It made her happy and wanted. Two things she had been yearning and craving for the longest time. Someone to love her despite her attitude and fucked up, sinful body. </p><p>"Fuck." She mumbled when she missed a cord, fucking up the happy birthday song. </p><p>She sighed and rubbed her heavy eyes. Should she go back to sleep? She had a torture tomorrow, like she liked to tease Cat about her job. She had once asked if she loved to inflict pain on people. The asian woman had told her it was purely for the unique art form, but then her smile had turned into an evil smirk and she had said it was still funny to see them wince and struggle in pain.<br/>Ellie wondered if it was going to hurt. </p><p>---‐----------------------------- </p><p>Ellie stared at the front of the tattoo shop. She looked down at the adress on her phone and it was the good adress. The Monster's Den was the name of the place, with a picture of a green, snarling monster painted next to it. Ellie always wondered why tattoo shops always looked punkish or goth-ish. Rock-ish too. Normal people with boring style like herself could get tattoo too, couldn't they? </p><p>Taking a big breath, she wenr in, heart beating fast over the anticipation of seeing her girlfriend. That's a good sign toward forgetting Dina, she told herself. </p><p>Music was blaring throught the speakers hung on the corners of the ceiling. She didn't recognize it, but it was either metal or hard rock, or something. Not really her kind of music, but she didn't hate it either. It did nothing to calm her nerves though. </p><p>"Hi, can I help you?" Came a voice, and Ellie swore she had never seen so much piercings on anyone in her life.<br/>"Hey, hi. I''m, uh, here for Cat?" She asked hesitantly, looking past all the drawings on the walls to try and spot her girlfriend. </p><p>The girl - Anah, said the name tag - blinked in recognition. </p><p>"Ah, yes, the girlfriend. She told me 'bout you. She's with a customer right now, please be seated she'll call for you when she's done." Said the girl behind the counter, going back on her drawing. </p><p>Ellie nodded awkwardly and sat in one of the red leathery chair, wondering why she had never came here before. It looked kind of cool, but also vaguely intimidating, with the weird, dark decorations and agressive music. </p><p>She was also kind of excited by the prospect of having ink needled into her. She had told Dina and Jesse about it and while the man seemed interested and curious, Dina had asked who had designed it.<br/>Didn't seem too happy about the answer, but maybe it was just her imagination. She didn't think she had done anything to infuriate the girl. </p><p>"Hey, love." </p><p>Ellie looked up from her faded jeans to a particulary excited Cat. She got up and took the girl in a loose hug. </p><p>"Hey babe. Happy to see me?" Ellie smiled as black eyes glowed in earnest.<br/>"Like you can't even imagine. Let me grab a snack, and we'll start on your arm, yeah?" </p><p>She didn't wait for an answer, turning instead toward Anah and telling her to to ring up the customer. She gave Ellie a small kiss and disappeared behind red curtains at the end of the shop. Ellie was back on the chair, Cat's kiss lingering on her lips like a sweet candy. </p><p>She waited a little moment more until Cat took her hand to lead her in the back room, pushing her in the bathroom and closing the door behind her. She didn't turn on the light. </p><p>"Cat? What are we do-" </p><p>Lips crashed into hers, interrupting Ellie's words so brutally it sent her mind reeling with surprise. Cat pinned her on the door, her left hand next to her head and the other caressing her cheek. </p><p>"Fuck, Cat." Ellie gasped when she finally let go of her mouth, stunned by her girlfriend's move.<br/>"Sorry dude." She grinned, searching her eyes in the dark. "I just love you so much. I saw you sitting there like a kicked puppy and I just wanted to kiss you." </p><p>Tears welled in the back of Ellie's eyes. Cat's words healed whatever pain that lingered in her heart from last night's nightmare. She felt so loved and good in her arms, she momentarily forgot the other girl of her heart. </p><p>"Love you too, babe." </p><p>Then why did she felt so fucking bad saying it? It was unfair. She loved Cat so fucking much. She was pretty, kind, imprevisible and literally wifey material. But her heart wouldn't let go of Dina. Last thing she wanted was to hurt Cat and she was doing her best to be a good girlfriend. She wasn't she knew how to. </p><p>The words made the tattoo artist grin like a child and she gave the younger girl a light kiss before opening the door, rolling her eyes at the piercing guy waving his eyebrows at them. </p><p>She made her sit in a big, black chair that reminded Ellie of those in the doctor's office. It was comfortable and yet, Ellie found herself a bit nervous because she didn't know what to expect. </p><p>Cat showed her proudly the drawing she had been working on, all traced in blue on a paper. </p><p>"It's gonna look like this. Still okay about it?" </p><p>Ellie nodded wordlessly and the asian girl took her arm in her gloved hands. She started to shave Ellie's skin and sprayed her with a clear liquid. Her movement were natural and swift, with no hint of hesitation. She knew what she was doing, and Ellie couldn't help but think she was so hot doing what she loved. </p><p>"You're hot when you're working." She voiced out loud.<br/>"You're hot when you're about to be butchered." Cat returned teasingly, hovering the paper over her arm to try and find the right angle. She wrapped it nicely and applied some more liquid on it under the curious eyes of her girlfriend. When she removed it, the tattoo appeared in blue lines all around Ellie's arm, making her gap in surprise.</p><p> </p><p>"That alright?" She asked hesitantly, looking at green eyes for any hint of rejection.<br/>"Are you kidding me?" Ellie cried out in excitement, eyes gleaming. "This is so fucking awesome!" </p><p>Cat's smile stretched to her ears and she turned to prepare the ink. Ellie couldn't stop staring at the lines on her skin. It was hard to believe it at first, but now, it made it real. It was happening and her heart battered in her chest. And the fact that Cat was the artist made it even better. She trusted her so much </p><p>If her parents were still there, they'd kill her for sure and the thought made her chuckle. </p><p>Cat turned to face her with a metal pen in her hand, a big black wire attached at the end of it. Ellie had no idea how it worked, but it looked threatening. </p><p>"Ready?"<br/>"Go for it, babe." </p><p>Cat shifted her position on the chair to be more comfortable and started the gun. A loud whizzing sound erupted from it and Ellie braced herself for the pain. </p><p>As soon as it came in contact with her skin, Ellie frowned a bit. It wasn't as painful as she was imagining, but it was unpleasant and definitely not a fun sensation. She didn't move nor wince though, watching her girlfriend take a concentrated look on her face as she cut steady lines in her skin. Once in a while, she would wipe off the blood and spray a bit more of the clear liquid that felt like heaven on her burning skin. </p><p>"Still okay?"  Cat asked, taking a small break to admire her art.<br/>"Yup." Ellie answered, a smile playing on her lips.<br/>"I want to kiss you so fucking bad right now."<br/>"Careful miss, I'm a taken woman."<br/>"You, a woman? "<br/>"Shut it." Ellie snorted with a crooked smile. </p><p>Cat looked at her for a moment and leaned in to kiss her quickly but softly. Ellie closed her eyes, savouring the moment, but it was over too soon. </p><p>"How long is this gonna take ?" She motionned to her arm.<br/>"As long as you can take it, love. I only had two customers today, you included."<br/>"I feel so bad about all this."  She mumbled as Cat went back on her arm. "I'm stealing your work time."<br/>"Don't be such an idiot. I love you and you're a real candy for eyes. Annnnnnd I get to kiss you all I want. It's enough for me." She didn't look at her, eyes focused on the pen and the ink, wiping away the blood.<br/>"Still, let me invite you for dinner later. I-I don't have much, but I know this cafe and there's really good sandwiches. I think you'll love it." </p><p>Cat stopped for a minute, staring deep into the gorgeous green eyes in front of her. </p><p>"You're so fucking cute." She said in a weird tone, like it was literally baffling. </p><p>Ellie felt like she wanted to say something else, saw something shift in her eyes. She noticed how she licked her lips and eyeballed her up and down. It made Ellie feel a bit nervous, but flattered nonetheless. </p><p>Cat wordlessly went back on her work, tracing small circles on the skin of the arm she was holding, caressing it with her thumb as to ease away the pain. Ellie just loved this fucking tattoo, and couldn't wait to show Dina. </p><p>"Sooo... you're tattooing a lot of your girlfriends?" Ellie asked, feeling the need to change the subject.</p><p> </p><p>Cat's smile became pinced, and Ellie momentarily thought she was going to stay silent, but after a brief moment of hesitation, Cat shook her head softly. </p><p>"Happened once. My ex from two years ago."<br/>"Oh? What's her name?" Ellie didn't really wanted to know about her ex, but she genuinely did wanted to know more about Cat.<br/>"Her name was Kate. She was 21, and she basically taught me everything I know about tattooing. She did most of my tattoo herself." </p><p>Ellie whistled, impressed </p><p>"Damn. So, do I have, like, competition?" It was a joke, but Cat's expression changed for a more somber one. </p><p>She didn't look at Ellie when she blurted the truth. </p><p>"You don't. She killed herself after I broke up with her." </p><p>The room grew deadly silent as unease started to creep up Ellie's spine and settle in every bone. All words left her mouth, for she didn't know what to say. She just stared at the girl with sadness and brought her hand to caress her shoulder. </p><p>"Why?" She dared to ask, watching as discomfort twisted Cat's face.<br/>"She had... problems. She had been abused a lot as a kid, and-and she hung on me like some kind of life saver. I knew her since I was young and I truly loved her... but she had those... those... " she struggled to find the right words, eyes never leaving the tattoo she was inking. "Anger issues. I really tried to help her, but she would get agressive during her panic attacks and hit me. I knew she didn't mean it, but it was also taking a toll on me. I tried to help her, I really did. But I wasn't enough. So I had to let go, and... well, next thing I know, she popped a few pills and-and she was just, like, gone. Just like that." She wiped a bit of blood, sprayed the arm. "It was hard."<br/>"Fuck, Cat..." Ellie whispered. </p><p>She remembered how well Cat was taking care of her, expressing her emotions clear as day, always there by her side. It all clicked togheter now. Cat was so hurt by her girlfriend's death, she had to live with the regrets of what she didn't say or do. Making sure Ellie was okay and well, so she wouldn't be hurt again. Fuck. </p><p>Her arm still hurt like a motherfucker, but she didn't mind the pain. It kept her grounded. </p><p>"I'm sorry."<br/>"Don't be." She smiled, lifting her head for a second. "Stuff happens. I'm with you now. I love you."<br/>"Same." Ellie responded truthfully, squeezing her shoulder and moving to play with a strand of hair.<br/>"Don't move." </p><p>-------------------- </p><p>"There. Now we just need to keep it hydrated. You'll probably be bloody for a hot minute, keep the wrap for an hour or two and use this cream."<br/>"Yes sir."<br/>"Ellie."<br/>"Yes Cat." She responded more politely, pocketing the cream and taking note of the instructions.<br/>"You're such an ass. I'm gonna pick the most expensive sandwich."<br/>"Now, who's being an ass?" </p><p>They bantered like kids back and forth all the way to the cafe. Ellie was feeling a bit lazy from the endorphin but she was okay so far. </p><p>"At least we got the lines down. We'll do the colouring another session." Cat informed her, as if reading her mind. Which was probably the case because Cat was crazy smart.<br/>"Yeah.' Ellie glanced at her arm in wonder. "Thanks Babe. You're the best."<br/>"I know." Cat grinned, and playfully bit her lower lip when Ellie nudged her ribs. </p><p>They shared a quick look. Cat let one hand go of the steering wheel and lowered her hand to her bony knee, caressing it tenderly. Ellie grabbed her hand with the care of a child and loudly kissed the knuckles. Cat wrapped her hand in hers, smiling lovingly at the street in front of them. </p><p>Few moments later, she parked in front of a cafe, and helped Ellie out, kissing her hungrily on the lips before she was taken by the younger girl inside. It was relatively crowded, but not as much as not being able to hear each other.</p><p> </p><p>"Let's go there." </p><p>Ellie was about to pull her over a booth until a pair of dark eyes stopped her motion. The owner of the restauramt glowered at Ellie upon recognizing her, eyes hard, a snarl crossing her face just as tightly as her arms over her chest. </p><p>"You can't sleep here and you need to buy something if you want to stay."<br/>"I'm here to eat and pay." Ellie admitted, lowering her eyes, while Cat gaped indignantly at the scene, taken by surprise by the tone of the middle aged woman.<br/>"Fine. Then don't make a mess." The woman said, eyeing her suspiciously and finally letting her go.<br/>"Did you see how she talked to you?" Cat whispered forcefully, glaring down at the woman with a frown.<br/>"It's okay Cat. She's right. Customers used to complaint I was8 there before. But their sandwiches are really good." </p><p>Before they could sit, the older girl pulled the auburn haired teen in her arm, rested her head on hers. </p><p>"I'm sorry this happened to you. You didn't deserve any of it. Fuck I wish I met you sooner."<br/>"Cat, it's okay." Ellie comforted awkwardly, pulling out of the embrace and caressing her cheek. " I'm fine, you're fine. We're fine. Let's just eat, okay?"<br/>"Okay." </p><p>She leaned in for a forehead kiss and they sat down. Cat tucked her hair behind her ears and settled her glasses on the table to rub at her eyes. </p><p>"You okay?" Ellie asked worriedly. <br/>"Yeah, just a bit tired." </p><p>Ellie snorted. </p><p>"Hey, I'm th one who's been tortured."<br/>"Well, for what it's worth, torture looks good on you." </p><p>There it was, the teasing smirk that Ellie loved so much about her. She'd rather have a happy Cat than a sad Cat.<br/>She looked down at the wrapping around her arm, the tattoo's shape clearly visible from under it. It was beautiful. </p><p>A waitress went to take their orders and as she left, Ellie noticed two persons coming their way a bit too excitedly, and Ellie swore her tongue fell at the bottom of her stomach as she recognized Dina, ponytail bobbing with her steps. Behind her, holding hands was Jesse. </p><p>"Jesse??"  Cat croaked.<br/>"Dina?" Ellie blurted awkwardly, eyes never taking off the beautiful girl.<br/>"What are you guys doing here ?" Cat asked, a bit annoyed at seeing the two goofs sit down, Jesse next to her and Dina next to Ellie, much to the latter's embarassment.<br/>"This place's on our way to Dina's. We just finished class. And I saw you guys here and figured we could come say hello." Jesse snatched Cat's drink, gulping the water down in few seconds, ignoring the deadly glare of his cousin.<br/>"What are you doing here?" Dina removed her coat, setting it on the back of the booth.<br/>"Havin" a date." The chestnut haired girl answered, unable to look elsewhere but Dina.<br/>"Cool. Hey guys, Dina and I went to this karaoke with Astrid and Blake the other day, and it was awesome. We should go there after eating!" </p><p>The waitress came back with Cat and Ellie's sandwiches. If she was surprised by the two newcomers, she didn't show it, only took  their orders and left again. Ellie shook her hands and frowned at her own undecisiveness.</p><p> </p><p>"I don't know. I just got this tattoo done, and I'm pretty beat."<br/>"Come on El, don't be such a party pooper." Jesse shot her a challenging smirk, draping one of his arm around Cat's shoulders, much to her diesbelief.<br/>"Karaoke, uh?" Cat mumbled, uncertain. "I don't know. Seem kinda  childish to me."<br/>"Oh, now you acting like an adult? Who got drunk for her last birthday and threw milk all over our face during the night?" </p><p>Cat rolled her eyes before setting them on Ellie and crossed her arms. </p><p>"What do you think, love?" Cat asked, leaving her with the difficult task of choosing.<br/>"Well.." She gave Dina and Jesse small glances. " I... guess we don't have anything to do tonight?" She said sheepishly. </p><p>Cat sighed. "I guess we don't." </p><p>‐-----------‐------------- </p><p>Whatever frustration Cat had been feeling earlier was slowly forgotten as they settled into a back and forth banter, laughing and joking like friends should. </p><p>Dina was holding Jesse's hand, holding more tightly than necessary due to the cold and Cat and Ellie were holding each other by the waist, wanting to be as close as possible.<br/>Ellie's eyes burned the back of Dina's head, watching with interest as the ponytail swayed. Sometimes, she would turn her head to talk to Jesse, and notice Ellie staring, which would make the girl nervous and look at the ground, tightening the grip she had on Cat. She tried to concentrate on Cat instead. </p><p>"So, how's that arm?" Cat asked, beating her to the punch.<br/>"Fucking sore, but I'm okay. Thanks again, babe." She placed a kiss on her knuckles, smiling up at her. Unknowingly making Cat's knees buckle. </p><p>They wanted to use Cat's car, but the place wasn't too far and it wasn't too cold either, so they had walked instead. Beside, parking in this area of town was a bitch. </p><p>They finally stopped in front of the kid friendly karaoke, with its name "Ka-Ra-okay" written in full rainbow colored  LED letters. There was flashy lights, music coming from the front door. It seemed fun, and Ellie thought that she hadn't sang in a while. This could be interesting. </p><p>They took a private room and Ellie immediately noticed many big frames on the walls, representing different singers and musicians. She recognized Bon Jovi, Michael Jackson and the guys from the Beattles. </p><p>"Nice place." Cat approved, flopping down on one of the yellow sofa. "C'mere, love." </p><p>She pulled Ellie by the untattooed arm and sat her down next to her. </p><p>"Isn't it great ? Is it the first time you come in a place like this, Ellie?" </p><p>Ellie looked up to the boy. He was in a good mood today, smiling like he used to do and using Ellie as his big buddy. Dina also seemed to be having fun, joking and laughing along Cat and Jesse.<br/>It seemed like a good time to crack one. </p><p>"I did. Someone even took a picture of me singing REM songs. That's me in the corner." She grinned, showing an invisible photo to them. </p><p>They all shot her a deadpan look, but laughed nonetheless, exasperated at the girl's jokes and puns. </p><p>"Never heard that one before." Jesse tried to play it cool, but the joke did crack a smile on his face.<br/>"I make sure everyday to keep my fans on their toes." Ellie made her lopsided smile and turned to face to big screen in front of them. "So, how does that work? And also, do Jesse have to sing ? No offense man, but I don't think you can sing."<br/>"Fuck you, okay? I'm good. Babe, tell her I'm good."<br/>"Meh." </p><p>Cat and Ellie laughed at her lack of support but seeing as Ellie was serious, Dina hold up a mic to her face, smiling behind it. </p><p>"Okay, so basically you choose a song on the screen and some lyrics will appear. You sing it and that's it." Her voice echooed throught the mic and about the room. Ellie winced at the loud noise as it rang in her ears. </p><p>"What if I don't know any song?<br/>Dina shot her a deadpan look. "Are you telling me that among those 2000 songs there might not be one you know ? Come on, I don't believe that. You know what, I'll go first. So you'll feel the shame of going after me." </p><p>Ellie felt the phone in her pocket buzz but she paid it no mind, leaning back in the booth while Jesse was ordering sodas and chips from the menu and into some kind of phone. </p><p>"Okay, so let's see.. </p><p>While Dina was swipping throught the contents, Cat leaned on Ellie, bringing her hand in her back. "You good, love?"<br/>"I'm good, babe. No need to ask every 30 minutes, I'm right here." Ellie responded with a smile, and despite what she said, she loved the attention Cat was giving her. It was revigorating to know that another person loved her so much she didn't want her to be uncomfortable. Ellie brought her hand to her lips, kissing the knuckles with affection. She had noticed she was doing that a lot but it just felt so natural to do this. It made Cat smile, and she loved that smile. It was like the first ray of sunshine after a dark, cold night. </p><p>She wasn't a clingy girlfriend by any means, nor a very affectionate one. Cat had enough of that for both of them, and she had accepted that. </p><p>In front of them, Dina had chosen the song and was straightening the orange blouse she was wearing. </p><p>"So, be ready to be impressed. " She spoke with such confidence, it was incredibly hot to Ellie's eyes.</p><p> </p><p>"There I was again tonight, forcing laughter, faking smile<br/>Same old friend, lonely place<br/>Walls of insincerity<br/>Shifting eyes and vacancy vanished when I saw your face..." </p><p>Ellie tried to keep her attention fixated on her girlfriend, but it was hard when Dina was singing her heart out with that voice, so enticing and smooth. She grew hot and bothered, clinging to Cat like a life boat, trying to not give into the hopeful thoughts in her head. </p><p>"All I can say is it was enchanting to meet you." </p><p>Ellie's eyes met Dina's for a hot second and she lowered them, heart beating so fast she thought she was gonna have an heart attack. She was talking about Jesse, of course. There was no other way. </p><p>Or not at all, dickhead. She just picked a random song. Why do you always have to be stupid like that? Said a distant voice in her head. She could have picked "my neck my back" for all it mattered. It didn't mean anything, right? Things didn't always have to mean something. She adverted her eyes from the hot teenager and munched on chips instead, staring stubbornly at her hand under Cat's. </p><p>When she finished the song, Dina broke into a pose, mimicking a model posing for a camera. </p><p>"Keep clapping, I love the attention,"<br/>"Want a hat for that big head of yours, D? Jesse smirked, laughing when she threw the mic at him, daring him to do better.<br/>"Check the pro." </p><p>He finished his soda in one gulp and grabbed the mic, walking up to the screen and choosing his pick. </p><p>It was some country song she never heard before, but it was very entertaining to see the big boy loosen up a little. He was really into the song, throwing his arms around the place like he owned it and kneeling in front of Dina while he sang a romantic part. Dina laughed, her smile big and wide as she sang with him, both completely lost in their own world. </p><p>Ellie took advantage of the situation to look at Cat and kiss her on the lips. </p><p>"You havin' a great time?" Ellie asked tenderly against her mouth.<br/>"Yeah. 'Cause you're here."<br/>"You're such a sap."<br/>"You-"<br/>"Okay, who's turn now ?" Jesse questionned with a big fat grin, forehead glistening from his self imposed work out.<br/>"I'll go." Ellie stood up, feeling a bit nervous. She was good enough to be confident in her abilities, but Cat was there, and Dina was there, and-and she didn't want to screw it up in front of them. </p><p>"Just... please, don't laught. I'm talking about you, Jesse boy." Ellie threatened, half tempted to break into a shit eating grin but she tried to glower at him.<br/>"Scout's honor." He promised, bringing one of his hand up.<br/>Dina pushed him. "You never even went to the scout!"<br/>"I watched Forest Gump with you!" He defended, offended.<br/>"That's like two different things!"<br/>"Guys?" Cat interrupted. </p><p>They both turned toward the couple. They seemed annnoyed to be interrupted. Ellie seemed nervous, eyes darting around the room and fumbling with the wireless microphone. Dina straighened her back and shot them an apologetic smile. "Sorry, Ellie. Go on." </p><p>Ellie nodded and went throught the songs, face switching between a wince or  a smile as she read the titles. Her eyes finally sparkled when they fell on a song from Lost Frequencies. </p><p>"Okay, so... it might be weird for you guys, but... I really like the lyrics."<br/>"Don't mind us, love. Just do your thing." </p><p>Ellie did a shy smile and pressed start. An upbeat yet somewhat sad and nostalgic melody started. Everybody swore they heard the song before, but none of them was able to pinpoint it. There was a slight hesitation in Ellie's eyes as the music played, but Dina was smiling so fucking wide and looking at her with huge gorgeous eyes and fuck - she had to do it. </p><p>"Decisions as I go<br/>To anywhere I flow<br/>Sometimes I believe, at times I'm rational<br/>I can fly high, I can go low<br/>Today I got a million<br/>Tomorrow I don't know" </p><p>Her voice was low, slow and raspy, rough but with an edge of softness. For some reasons, the lyrics really spoke to her on a personal level. She thought it was about the highs and lows of life, how everything can turn around and fuck you up. </p><p>She bobbed her head, trying to avoid their eyes, but they all gaped at her like fishes.<br/>"Decisions as I go, to anywhere I flow<br/>Sometimes I believe, at time I'm rational<br/>I can fly high, I can go low<br/>Today I got a million<br/>Tomorrow I don't know </p><p>Stop claiming what you own <br/>And think about the show<br/>We're all playing the same game, waiting on our loan<br/>We're unknown and known, special and a clone<br/>Hate will make you cautious, love will make you glow. </p><p>Make me feel the warm, make me feel the c- fuck, stop fucking laughing!" Ellie growled at the only boy in the room who was trying to stiffle his laughter by clamping an hand on his mouth. </p><p>The music stopped suddenly, as well as Ellie's awkward but nicr singing. The girl was blushing madly while Jesse was cackling like a teasing grandma. </p><p>"Sorry man, it just- I don't even know why I'm laughing, it's just-it's funny." He could barely talk,  let alone form a coherent thought. He was laughing so much Ellie thought he was going to choke, and she secretly wished he did.<br/>"Jesse, you're such a jerk." Cat cried out, standing up to take the redhead in her arms.<br/>"Fuck you Jesse!" Dina continued, pushing the crying boy on the floor.<br/>"Was I that bad ?" Ellie pouted, feeling shame wash over her like a cold shower.<br/>"No, it was good, Ellie, it was really good, my cousin's just an asshole." Cat glowered at him with a deadly glare, meanwhile trying to cheer the girl up. </p><p>Then it was Cat's turn, who sang some cheery love song to a still mad but blushing Ellie. They ate junk food, drank soda and left their mess behind as they loudly excited the place. On their way out, Ellie caught Jesse with the corner of her eye and stretched her leg forward. Unaware of the upcoming danger, Jesse, who was talking animatedly to Dina about how well he had rocked that "stayin' alive" song, didn't see the foot. </p><p>And he fell right over it.</p><p> </p><p>"Jesse, are you okay??" Dina asked a bit worriedly, but doing nothing to help him.<br/>"Ah, sorry bud. Didn't see you there." Ellie said with a fake apologetic smile, still irked by his sudden mock in the karaoke room. Granted, she had been able to sing more and she wooed Cat with a few well chosen songs, but that first song had been important to her and he had ruined it. She wasn't truly mad at him, but mad enough for a little payback. </p><p>Jesse growled at her and dusted himself, mumbling something under his breath. </p><p>"I think it's time for me to bring that big boy home before he goes and do something stupid again." Dina grasped the asian boy by the arm, tightening her grip on him more than necessary, ignoring his whimpers.<br/>"I need to go home too... well, to Joel's. I'm beat." Ellie said, her arm still sore from the tattoo session and barely able to keep her eyes open. </p><p>"Want me to stay with you?" Cat murmured into her ear. </p><p>Ellie wanted to decline but was quickly remembered of her previous night, how scared and alone she felt. She nodded eagerly. </p><p>"Well, then we'll see you another time." </p><p>Cat and Dina shared a polite smile and waved to each other. </p><p>"Bye Cat. Bye, Ellie." Dina said in a weird tone, and a playful wink. </p><p>Cat didn't mind, but it left Ellie's mouth feeling drier than it should.<br/>On their way to the shed, Ellie recalled that she had received a text earlier in the day. She took her phone and read the anonymous message. </p><p>"Hey shrimp. Its Abby. I did what u told me and got a phone. Cool rite?  And i got an appt now. Figured i needed more place with lev and yara. You should check it out its 5932 Saints Claire av. App 3. </p><p>Ps: if anyone ask my name is Laura Bailey " </p><p>Ellie frowned and reread the text. Oh well, seems like Abby was changing too. She made a mental note to go visit her sometimes.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Back when Ellie was still living with David, there was this one girl that she had been crushing on for the longest time. Riley Abel. Some rebel kid from a downtown neighborhood. Some said she was the daughter of some important gang member, but if that was the case, Ellie was none the wiser. The first time she had seen the girl, she was punching a kid in the mouth for picking on a shy blonde student from another class. </p><p>Ellie had been immediatly smithen. </p><p>Unfortunately, Riley never offered her the time of the day. She never even knew she existed. Hell, she probably wasn't even into girls anyway. Back then, Ellie was a freak. Well, she thought she was. She had lots of friends, but none of them were like her. She knew she was into girls really early in life, but Riley Abel confirmed it.She recalled wanting to take her hand and smile at her the way couples do. </p><p>Like Cat and herself. Or Jesse and Dina. </p><p>David had messed up a part of her brain that she didn't know existed, or one that she was unaware of. She never considered herself a popular girl, but on a more neutral mind, she did use to have a lot of guy friends. Friends that would hang out with her and with whom she'd playfully fight. </p><p>She was sociable, back then. Maybe not the social butterfly like Dina, and she certainly didn't have the confidence of Cat, but she wasn't alone. After her parent's death, though, things changed.<br/>What was once playful banters and fake fights turned into arguments, attitude and agressivity. Ellie had closed herself from the people around her, in her own little world where things were alright. Where her parents were alive. Where David didn't lay an hand on her, soiling whatever was left of her pride and of the old Ellie. </p><p>Because of him, she hated her body. It was soiled, tainted, darkened by the perverted touch of some religious wacko. She remembered scratching bruises until they bled, because it would make the bluish injury made on her disappear under another wound, one that she created herself, which made it more okay and bearable. It was the only thing she felt in control of. </p><p>Even today, Ellie had an hard time looking at herself in the mirror. All she saw was the shadow of her former self. A former self that didn't have that eyebrow scar that Dina seemed to love so much. A former self that didn't have all this anger and hate inside of her. A former self that was able of self love and confidence. All of it had been ripped from her repeatedly until there was nothing left but flesh and bones. </p><p>Ellie had a profound hate for David. His voice made her skin crawl and shake in anger and fear. If it meant spending the rest of her life in misery, it would be worth it if she could kill him. </p><p>Ellie had dressed walls around her, retreated into a shell that no one had been able to fight throught. Except for anger, she became emotionnaly numb to things around her. Crying and pleading to David never helped her case. Ellie had to learn to numb her mind and her body, will her mind away while David did whatever he wanted to her. No one had believed her, she was truly alone in a world that she thought wasn't worthy of.<br/>She stopped eating and smiling. Stopped doing all those things she loved to do.  Stopped seeing life in pink and white. Her sight became tainted with crimson and her voice became rugged, from crying or yelling to at the sky, she didn't know. But her childhood was over by the time she reached 16. She had learned to fend for herself, to defend herself, to care only for herself. </p><p>Until Dina stepped in her life like the light at the end of a dark tunnel. </p><p>Her smile had kindled the flame inside her that she thought had long died. Had made her think that maybe, her feelings weren't totally gone. For the first time in a long time, she had found herself longing for another human being, something that hadn't happened since Riley. She thought Dina was the most beautiful girl on earth and even though she probably had her flaws, nothing in her bothered Ellie. </p><p>Except for the fact that she'd never be hers. </p><p>Even as she watched her brush her hair in front of her vintage mirror, Ellie felt guilty. Guilty of letting her eyes and imagination wander to sinful places. Guilty of loving Dina more than she'd ever love Cat, who was trying her darnest to be the perfect girlfriend. </p><p>She really was fucked up. </p><p>"Hey El, are you okay?" </p><p>Ellie's personal bubble popped and she fell back into reality. She looked back from the hands she had been mindlessly staring at for the past ten minutes and fixated her hollow gaze on Dina with interrogation written all over her pale face. </p><p>"What?" She blurted stupidly.<br/>"I asked if you were okay." Dina put the brush back on her nightstand and sat on one corner of the bed, studying Ellie with watchful eyes. "I was talking to you and you kept spacing out. Something on your mind?"<br/>Ellie almost jostled awake. "Uh, no, I-uh... I was just, uh, thinking about Cat. She has like a big tattoo session today and she looked tired this morning when we spoke on the phone. I hope she's okay." </p><p>Dina nodded in understanding, eyes fixated on the flushed, freckled face. "Are you happy with her?""<br/>"What?" Ellie furrowed her brows, confused.<br/>"I asked if you were happy with Cat." Her tone was soft and patient, but her lingering stare unsettled her. Like her words meant something else that she was unaware of.<br/>"Yeah."  She answered truthfully, rubbing her now fully tattooed limb. "She's awesome and-and great. Why?"<br/>Dina shook her head. "Just' asking."  She watched Ellie scratch nervously at her neck, tattoo twirling around her arm now that it was a part of her. She moved from the bed and sat on the computer chair. </p><p>Voices could be heard from downstairs. On the weeend, both her parents were home and they would spend their evening watching crime shows and old movies. </p><p>"How's the guitar going?"<br/>"Uh, pretty great. It's coming along.  I played for Joel for Halloween, and we ate, like, candies and shit. He said I was a natural."<br/>Dina grinned slightly, resting her head in her hand. "Would you play for me sometime? I'd be glad to hear that smooth voice of yours again." </p><p>Ellie flushed on the spot and let out a nervous laught. "Sure. Sometime." She fumbled with her hands as a quiet pause settled between them. Outside, a mix of rain and snow and wind slammed hard against the windows, the only sound in the room as each girl were lost in their thoughts. </p><p>"Are you... Happy with Jesse?" Ellie dared to ask.  She didn't know much about the boy. She didn't considered him a friend per say. He was just Dina's boyfriend and Cat's cousin. Since his outburst at Joel's, she had been wary with him, not fully trusting him on the whole secret thing. She knew he only wanted to proteft Dina, and she was okay with that. But it made her nervous, and the thought of never seeing Dina again was twisting a knife in her chest.<br/>Dina sucked air between her teeth, looking up at the ceiling and worrying her lower lip in thought. Ellie tucked a long strand of hair behind her ear, waiting for the answer that seemed to work Dina up. </p><p>"I... I don't really know. See, our parents were high school friends. So, for them, it was only natural for their kids to be friends too, right ?"  Ellie nodded. "Talia was born years before Jesse was born, so it fell on me to befriend that little shit. " They both smiled playfully at the nickname, like sharing one big humor. "Years ago, our parents started to share the idea of us getting togheter and... I don't know?  It just felt so natural, we literally switched diapers. "Dina chuckled at Ellie What-The-Fuck face. "Being with him just feels... normal."  She finished in a boring tone, brown eyes cast downward, to her naked feet.<br/>"So, are you happy?"  Ellie repeated, a concerned glance toward her. </p><p>Leaning back against the chair,  Dina sighed, bitting on her lip. </p><p>"Yeah." She forced out.<br/>"That's what's important." Ellie said obliviously, heart shattering quietly in her ribcage. </p><p>More laughter came from downstairs, and the storm outside had Ellie worrying for Cat who had to drive from work tonight. She decided to give her a quick text to remind her to be careful. </p><p>"Hey girls, havin' fun?" Came Dina's mom as she shamelessly opened the door, with two big glasses of iced tea in her hands. "Who's down for pizza tonight?"<br/>"I'm down." Dina answered.<br/>"Same, sounds good. Thanks Miss Woodwart."<br/>"Oh please, I told you, just call me Janet. Is all dressed good for you?"<br/>"Yeah, I-I eat anything."<br/>"Marvelous. We'll call you girls when it's ready and Dina, did you tell Jesse about the wood?"<br/>She nodded. "Yeah, he can't. It's his grandma's birthday, but next week is okay."<br/>"I'll tell your father then. That boy of yours, such a gentleman." </p><p>She smiled warmly at them and closed the door. Dina turned to face Ellie with a bored expression.</p><p> </p><p>"What was that about?" Ellie lifted her scarred eyebrow, clutching her drink.<br/>She just shrugged. "My mom wanted me to ask Jesse if he could help my dad with some woodworks for the fireplace. See what I meant? It's like....it's like I barely had a say in this." She snorted frustratingly, eyes boring down on her glass, probably wishing to hurl it at the wall </p><p>Ellie frowned. This was unusual. It was the first time Dina conveyed any feelings of not being okay with Jesse. She leaned in, interest picked. </p><p>"Do you... love Jesse?" <br/>"Of course I do! He's my bestfriend."  She said, still bearing that annoyed air. </p><p>There was a short silence, with Ellie tossing a fleeting thought in her head. </p><p>"You could... break up with him." Ellie offered innocently, refusing to meet her eyes.<br/>Dina's hand shot up to rub at her temple, feeling the start of a headache coming on strong. </p><p>"I don't know, it's not like I don't want him at all. He's great but... everything feels...." she wailed her right hand around, searching for a specific word.<br/>"Forced?" Ellie croaked with difficulty.<br/>Dina flicked her finger at her. "Yeah, that. Anyway, thanks for today Ellie. I didn't feel like staying alone, but I feel like... We haven't been hanging out as much as I want to."  She admitted, sipping on her iced tea. "My other friends... they're great, but they're not you." Dina hid her smile behind her glass, eyes shinning as they fell upon the redhead sitting cross legged on her bed. </p><p>Ellie felt as if her heart was trying to beat its way out of her body. At first she thought she had heard wrong, but the look on Dina's face flushed those thoughts down the toilet. </p><p>"W-wha-what 'bout me?" She blurted out clumsily, looking around the room with a blush on her cheeks. Wishing Dina's mom would call them for dinner right the fuck now. </p><p>Dina had a cocky smile on her face, a grin so undeniably Dina it made the redhead's stomach lurch with anticipation. </p><p>"You're interesting, Ellie." She answered, and Ellie's mouth was now so fucking dry, and the room seemed to close on them as they looked into each other's eyes. </p><p>Ellie didn't know what to say. Anxiety raced down her arms, freezing her body and tensing her nerves. She offered a shy, crooked smile, looked down and shrugged. </p><p>"That's stupid." She told her, shaking her head and meeting her eyes. </p><p>Dina smiled amusedly, looked at her pointedly. "Are you saying I'm stupid, Ellie?" Dina showed a sad face but could hardly supress her grin. </p><p>Ellie, who had been playing with the rim of her glass, froze on spot.<br/>"Hey, wait, no,- I- that's not what I'm saying, I-I-" Ellie stammered, a panicked look on her face. "You're not stupid, I'm stupid-"<br/>"I'm messing with you Ellie." She smirked teasingly. </p><p>Feeling dumb, Ellie sighed and shook her head, defeated. This girl was going to give her an heart attack. </p><p>She felt Dina grab her arm. </p><p>"Come on, mom's calling us."</p><p> </p><p>--------‐-------------------‐------ </p><p>"I gotta say Ellie, this is rare for you to join us for dinner."  Said Dina's father, Robin, as he cut himself a slice of pizza from one of the two boxes from Pizza Hut. You usually run off before we eat or go out with Dina." </p><p>Ellie almost choked at the last part. </p><p>"Y-yeah..."<br/>"How's school going?"  Asked Janet, tossing a soda to her daughter and her friend. </p><p>Ellie cleared her throat, nervous again and she glanced toward Dina with pinced lips. </p><p>"I'm doing great. Lotta friends and good grades...She said, smiling anxiously at the two adults, looking more guilty than truly sincere. </p><p>Dina faced palmed in front of this horrible acting show but fortunately, the parents didn't caught on it, nodding fervously as they emptied the first box of pizza by themselves. </p><p>"Mom, I'm doing great too. Lotta friends and good grades." Dina spoke, smirking at Ellie who discreetly flipped her the bird.<br/>"Dina told us you were great friends with Jesse's cousin." Robin spoke.<br/>"Yeah... great friends." Ellie answered, barely able to choke back a chuckle upon seeing Dina's amused smile. "I spend a lot of times with her. We get along."<br/>"That's nice dear." </p><p>She spoke very little for the rest of her meal, listening to Dina and her parent's conversation with interest. She was reminded again of the death of her own parents and it induced a deep boned ache inside her chest that Joel was desperatly trying to fill. She was basically familyless. They used to have conversations like those too. About school and tv shows, and her dad  told her about his awesome hero job. Her mom was a stay at home wife, so she had no stories to tell, but always beamed at her husband like he was the best man in the whole world, and it was like she was falling in love all over again everytime. </p><p>She smiled upon remembering the look of disaprovement on Joel's features at the look of her tattoo. He had been wanting so badly to tell her off but he knew he held no power over her. That was funny, to hold that kind of statement over him. She could do as she damn well pleased and there wasn't a single thing he could do about it. She could tattoo her whole face for all she cared and she wouldn't deny that the thought had crossed her mind, just to see Joel's face of sheer terror. </p><p>After their pizza, the two girls sauntered back to Dina's room, bellies full of food and a smile stitched on Dina's face. </p><p>"Why does it always look like you wanna hang yourself in front of my parents?" </p><p>Ellie rolled her eyes, definitely not thinking about all the times she thought seriously about it. </p><p>"You're just speaking." She huffed, sitting back in her place in the bed.<br/>"No I swear, you looked miserable." </p><p>Ellie leveled her eyes when Dina's tone changed. Her beaming face had turned sour, watching Ellie with soft, concerned eyes. </p><p>"I can never tell what you're thinking, Ellie." Dina tilted her head, studying every shift of Ellie's body, trying to decipher her. </p><p>Funny how Ellie's mouth liked to go dry when Dina was looking at her like that. </p><p>"I'm not thinking anything." Ellie stared down at her hands, hoping Dina would change the subject. </p><p>"Liar."<br/>"I'm not-"<br/>"I've literally never seen anyone think as much as you do. Your head's up in space aaaaaall the time."<br/>"Why, thank y-"<br/>"Not a compliment, astronaut." Dina jabbed playfully, giving her a small nudge. "Fine, don't tell me. You're probably only thinking about Cat, anyway." </p><p>She padded to her as she said so, taking gentle hold of the tattooed arm peeking out of some rock band's black and white shirt. She let her eyes wander over the ink, thumbs ghosting over the veins of her arm, stronger by the day as she helped Joel with manual labor. </p><p>"Which part did you design?"<br/>"Uh t-the leaf. Leaves. The ferns." She stammered like a kid, heart pounding. </p><p>As soon as she said it, Dina traced the said ferns with the tip of her fingers. Shivers rained on Ellie's body like a storm and she was sure Dina could feel it under her tender touches. </p><p>But she said nothing of it as her eyes followed every curve of the tattoo. </p><p>And she let go of it with a smile. </p><p>"Might be my favorite part then." </p><p>Ellie only scoffed but a sense of pride and giddiness envelopped her heart like a sensible blanket. </p><p>"So, what'cha wanna watch ?"  Dina slurred lazily as she made her way to her selection of movies. "I've got...  all the Jackie Chan movies you can think of. I've got... the first and second Harry Potter. Edward Scissorhands.  Few horror movies, if you'd like-".<br/>"I almost did it, once." Ellie blurted out without thinking. </p><p>Dina interrupted herself and looked questioningly at Ellie from her spot on the floor. </p><p>"Did what?"<br/>"Hang myself." Ellie muttered as quick as she could, throwing out the words as they burned her throat and scarred her heart. </p><p>Dina didn't react at first, face a mix of surprise and shock. She slowly raised to her full height and sat down next to Ellie. She lifted her left hand to squeeze Ellie's shoulder. Grounding them both to this bizarre reality. </p><p>"Want to talk about it?" Her tone was so soft, and so close to her ear, it tugged at her heartstrings.Caring brown eyes studied her face, admiring every shade of emotions that passed on her features like a ghost. </p><p>Ellie wetted her lips, aware that the door she opened was one that couldn't be closed back. She avoided the brown eyes at all cost and she became interested in a loose thread in the deep red blanket of the bed. She didn't know why she had said that. Suicide was something she was deeply ashamed of, and she had never talked to anyone about the dark thoughts that she harbored for a long time. </p><p>"Uh..." </p><p>She didn't know how to start, which words to use to convey her thoughts and lay her memories flat and unprotected. Dina had this pull on her, this power to suckerpunch throught her walls like they're butter. </p><p>"I... I don't want you to think any different of me... "She admitted a bit miserably, allowing a bit of vulnerability to peek out from those high walls. One could be so strong for so long.<br/>"Oh, Ellie.." The hand that rested on the bony shoulder shifted to rest in the back of her neck instead, warm against her cold skin.<br/>"There's nothing you could tell me that'd make me see you any differently." </p><p>Ellie had a faint smile but it didn't make it any easier. She ran her left hand in the mass of hair on her head and looked up at the window, to the storm outside, raging ang angry. She briefly wondered how she was going to get home. No, not home. To Joel's. She didn't have a proper home. </p><p>"Ellie?" Dina insisted. "Are you... are you okay?"<br/>"I am." Ellie sighed, feeling tired. "It's just... I don't..." She frowned. "I don't like talking about... things I feel." </p><p>It was not eloquent, but it was hard enough to get it out of her, foul like bile.<br/>But Dina remained patient, nimble fingers massaging the muscles in the back of her neck. Ellie felt herself relax under her hand and started before she changed her mind. </p><p>"Back when I was living in the street, like, few months after I left... home." She interrupted herself, shifting the word in her mouth as it left a bad taste on her tongue. "I was alone, and-and scared, and hungry and cold and, fuck- there was this old fucking rope hanging around in some garage I found in the middle of nofuckingwhere, and- I thought: I could use it and just fucking end it, you know?" She spoke fast, with an edge of harashness. </p><p>Dina said nothing as the green eyes stayed locked on the window, features hard and almost neutral as she recalled what seemed like another lifetime. When she thought she was beyond help and unworthy of anything. </p><p>"I... I took the rope and looked at it for like the longest time." She mimed holding the rope and looking at it with despair written on her face as she was thrown back into painful memories and emotions. </p><p>Since Dina had yet to say something, she continued, vaguely aware of the hand that moved across her haunched back. </p><p>"I kept looking at it and-and imagining how it would... feel around my throat. I was wondering what would happen afterward, and who was gonna miss me?" </p><p>She paused, moving to look at Dina. How her own tears prickled behind her eyes when she saw tears trailing down Dina's cheeks, like a reminder of her pathetic life. </p><p>"Don't look at me like that." Ellie's voice was broken and soon enough the dam shattered as well. </p><p>She lowered her head as sobs shook her body whole, tensing all the muscles and nerves. Crying wasn't what she had in plan today and she quickly tried to wipe them away, not wanting this momemt with Dina to be about her. </p><p>"I'm sorry if I made you cry." She muttered, rubbing her wet cheeks in a desperate attempt to stop de endless flow. </p><p>Dina shook her head in disbelief and engulfed the taller girl in the most comfortable hug she could give, pouring all the love and care she felt for the runaway teenager she had met months ago. Ellie's body continued to shook in her embrace, trembling from whatever pain still lingered in her heart. </p><p>"I really didn't want to make you cry." Ellie croacked, chin resting on her shoulder, eyes closed shut so her other senses could amplify the feeling of being in her arms. How good she smelled and how soft she felt against her body. How alluring her voice sounded as it hovered over her ears like a melody. </p><p>"Ellie, just... stop, it's okay. Everything's okay now." Dina had never lost control of her voice, but if wavered a bit under the redhead's unfounded apologies.<br/>"But I-I"<br/>"Just breath. With me." As on cue, Dina inhaled deeply, pressuring the body under her to do the same.  They took 3 big breaths togheter, cries and sobs ushered away after every exhalation. </p><p>"I'm sorry." Ellie finally said, feeling calmer and tired. "I didn't want-" <br/>"Ellie, shh. It's fine. We're fine. I'm proud of you. You are the strongest person I've ever met." Her voice was smoothing and dripped of honesty and reassurance.<br/>"I'm not brave." Ellie shook her head, smiling with resignation and self hate.<br/>"Ellie, don't think about yourself like that. You are so strong. You lived throught so much and here you are, still being incredibly amazing. Still smiling and trusting. You are so strong, Ellie Williams." </p><p>Fuck, Ellie loved her so much. It took every bit of self control for the redhead not to jump back in her arms or lean for a kiss. </p><p>Feeling shy, Ellie nodded quietly and Dina smiled, replacing one auburn lock of hair behind her ear. </p><p>"Cat is so lucky to have you. Thanks for telling me today, Ellie. I'm always here if you want to talk. You're not alone anymore and we'll-I'll always be there for you." Ellie wiped her eyes and nodded again, allowing a small smile to take place on her face. </p><p>"But I need to ask, Ellie." Dina said, more seriously. "Do you still want to..." she trailed off, her throat refusing to say the last part.<br/>"God, no. I'm, uh, I'm in a much better place now. Thanks to you guys and, uh, Joel." </p><p>It was Dina's turn to nod and after they agreed to let the past be past, Dina went back for the movie pick. </p><p>"So, any pick?"<br/>"Just choose whatever you want." Ellie mumbled, her unplanned crying session having woken up a deep exhaustion inside her. </p><p>Glancing outside the window, Ellie felt lazier by the minute.<br/>She leaned back until her back touched the wall and let Dina snuggle in next to her. She tried not to blush and die as Dina took hold of her arm to wrap it around her shoulders. Her body was a literal furnace against her own, and she swore fidelity to Cat with all her might. </p><p>The movie started. It was some animation movie she haven't seen yet but it was funny, colorful and light, so it helped take the edge off. </p><p>She didn't remember much of the movie, though. At some point, soon after the night had fallen and the room was thrown in darkness, Ellie's eyelids had felt heavy and she must have passed out, because when she opened her eyes again, the tv was turned off and it was silent in the house. </p><p>She rubbed her eyes with her free hand and turned to the weight laying against her shoulder, soft curls tickling her skin and lips as her fingers closed on the young girl's arm. Ellie didn't even notice she was smiling, like it was easy and natural. Dina had taken her body as her own personal pillow and there wasn't a single thing in the world that would make Ellie not enjoy this moment.<br/>Careful not to wake up the girl, she pulled her phone from her pocket but aside from Joel making sure she was out of the storm and Cat wishing her goodnight, there was nothing. Oh, and Abby sent her a picture of a rolled up joint. Interesting. </p><p>She turned it off and leaned her head back against the wall, closing her eyes once more, Dina's weight acting like a sleeping charm. </p><p>------------------------------- </p><p>"You thought you could escape this, little rabbit?" Snarled David as he held a knife up to her eyebrow, the light from the overhead lamp reflecting on the hard blade in front of her eyes. </p><p>Ellie blinked, fear shaking her body and rendering her as small as a mouse. Behind the tall, skinny man, faceless Seraphites were looking at her with angry red eyes poking out of where their heads should be. But for some reason, she didn't question it. All her attention were focused on the nightmarish glare and the tip of the knife as it slashed her right eyebrow open. Blood drippled quickly from the wound, but she made no move to stop the flow. It tainted her face and sight red and it was much more blood than necessary. </p><p>David reached with one finger, catching a drop in its fall. </p><p>"The blood of the undeserving..."  He muttered to himself. "I can barely believe you and I share the same blood, little niece."<br/>A boot smashed cleanly into her gut, making the young girl choke and fall over. She gasped like a fish, trying to breath in more air, but nothing would come but the stench of blood and semen. God, this fucking smell was tattooed in her mind to never be forgotten. </p><p>His large hand smashed her head against the floor and ripped her shirt open. The big man from the Seraphites, Greg, was ready to join them and began to undo his jeans. </p><p>"Please, please no, stop. Fucking stop!" She pleaded with a cry of despair. </p><p>But try as she might, her arms were cemented on the floor, too heavy to move and protect herself. She looked up teary eyed to see David smiling under his black religious robe. </p><p>"We must kill the tainted."<br/>--------------------------- </p><p>"Ellie? Ellie!!!" </p><p>Ellie opened her eyes in panic, trying and failling to breath. Sweat got into her eyes and mouth, foul in its salty taste. She was in Dina's room, but she still saw David and she still felt his hands on her, tracing a path of burning embers on her sensible skin. She scratched her arms, digging her nails deep int the skin to remove his scent, his touch from her. She needed to erase him! To make him disappear right the fuck now or she was going berserk! </p><p>A small hand went to her cheek to turn her head on her left. Misty reen frantic eyes met dark chocolate ones, ever so caring and soft. </p><p>"Ellie, look at me. Focus on me. Everything's fine. You're safe." </p><p>Her voice was gentle. Soothing. Homely and caring. But Ellie heard it like she was miles away. There was a loud ringing in her head and her heart pounded in the back of her skull, shifting into a tremedous migraine. Her whkle body tensed, still thinking she was pinned underneath David, small and at his complete mercy. </p><p>Ellie touched the scar on her eyebrow, dream so vivid she could almost still feel the pain of the blade cutting it cleanly, painting the floor a dark crimson. It even seemed to pulsate lightly under her finger. </p><p>"Dina?" She croaked when she was able to slow her breathing a bit, clutching her arm a little too forcefully to ground herself into reality.<br/>"It's me, El. I'm here, listen to my voice, okay? You're safe, you're with me." Dina winced a bit from the hold but did nothing to remove it, choosing to massage Ellie's neck instead. "Good, that's good." She said when Ellie began to calm down and breath more normally.<br/>"Oh man." The redhead breathed out, slowly releasing her grip on the arm to flick her hair away from her face. "Oh man." </p><p>This nightmare was horrible. She probably would have gone full panic attack if Dina wasn't here. </p><p>But she was, and she murmured words of reassurance in her ear, easing the beating of her heart and the shaking of her body. Ellie let out a big sigh and decided to give in into Dina's embrace. As bad as she felt, she gave no thought to Cat. There was nothing she wanted more than Dina's arms right now, and forever is she could help it. </p><p>"You good?" The black haired teenager asked after a while, eyes scanning her face for any sign of discomfort.<br/>"Yeah." Her face was still clammy and there was leftover shakiness in her hands, but she felt more relaxed and was finally able to put David"s face in the back of her mind, far away from her consciousness. </p><p>The bedroom's door opened lightly on a silhouette. It was too dark to see but Ellie easily recognized Janet. </p><p>"We heard noises. Is everything all right?" She asked sleepily, finger hovering over the light switch.<br/>"Yes mom, sorry. I had a nightmare." Dina apologized, taking the fault for the distressed teen next to her.<br/>"And you okay?" She asked once again.<br/>" Yeah mom, I'm good. " She made sure to convey assurance in her words. Her mother seemed satisfied. She wished them goodnight and closed the door softly.<br/>"Thank you." Ellie muttered, eyes casted down and a thin veil of sweat coating her forehead.<br/>"It's okay." Dina answered softly, putting her hand on her arm. "Does it happen often?"<br/>She shrugged. "It used to happen every night."<br/>"Do you want to speak about it?"<br/>"Not really. "She sighed, trying to push the negative feelings down.<br/>"I'm sorry for falling asleep during the movie. I should probably go." </p><p>She was about to get up but Dina took her arm, preventing her of doing so. </p><p>"Ellie, it's 2 am. I'm not letting you go anywhere. Beside, you make a good pillow." She added with a smile, pushing Ellie down on the bed to rest on her shoulder. </p><p>Holy mother of god. </p><p>This, right there, was where Ellie wanted to be and wanted to stay. </p><p>Back when the thought of being friends with Dina was just that- a thought - she occupied herself imagining how the girl was like inside. Watching her smile from afar was one thing, but for all she knew she could have been an high school bully. She radiated such a charm, it'd be surprising but  Ellie had seen stranger things. </p><p>But the truth is, Dina was absolutely perfect. She had a kind soul, a little bit touchy maybe but she didn't mind. In fact, there was a lot of places she would like to be touched by Dina, but it wasn't happening anytime soon. The thought, tough, brought an itch, a need between her legs, tucked safely under the blanket. Ellie bit her lip and tried to forget it, but the burning breathing of the black haired girl on her skin was impossible to ignore.<br/>Her mind went to sinful places. Cat and her had been snuggling and kissing, and Ellie knew Cat was refraining herself from venturing too much, especially since her abused past confession. Cat had no idea of what Ellie could be thinking, and it wasn't like Ellie was telling her anything.<br/>Cat wanted sex. She had never said it, but Ellie wasn't stupid; she had seen the hunger and desire in her eyes. How her hands would stop inches from her waist band, or rest on her shoulders instead of her breast. How Cat would straddle the younger woman just to feel close contact, like an painful need. </p><p>And Ellie wanted to touch Cat, and she wanted Cat to touch her. What was stopping her ? Of course she wasn't a virgin, but sex with David ( if we can call it like that) was forced, scary and scarring, both for her body and mind. He robbed her from her self love, dignity and made her fear intimacy. She didn't want Cat's hands to venture to the same places that scumbag did. It felt wrong just thinking about it. But fuck, she wanted it too. What was wrong with her? </p><p>She looked down at the mass of hair under her chin. Was it something straight girls did  ? Sleep on their friend's shoulder?  Touching them ? She wouldn't know the first thing about straightness. Was Dina gay ? Or bi ?  Maybe she was into her ? </p><p>Ellie snorted quietly at that. Yeah, right. </p><p>There was no way. </p><p>Right? </p><p>--------------------------------------- </p><p>A medium sized amount of snow coated the streets when the girls woke up. While Dina was taking a shower, Ellie tried to regain feelings in her left arm, shaking it and massaging it, taking mental note to get more comfortable next time. </p><p>They ate breakfast with Dina's parents and Ellie said her goodbyes. Joel needed her at home today to shovel the snow around the house and Ellie actually couldn't wait for some manual exercice to take her mind off... things she didn't want to think about.<br/>Before she let her go, Dina called her name, making the taller girl stop and turn on the porch. Cold tickled her nose and tainted her cheeks a faint red hue, or it could have been a blush. Dina seemed hesitant at first but she took slow, agonizing steps toward her and raised her head to press her warm lips on the cold cheek and suddenly, it was like a hot shower had rained down on Ellie like a downpour. </p><p>"Take care, hot stuff." Dina said with a smile before closing the door on a very much dead Ellie who brought her hand to her face with a small smile. It was the second time now she kissed her cheeks, and everytime she did it, the peaceful butterflies in her stomach became a mass of bees, tearing at her guts. </p><p>Ellie sighed happily and made her way to Joel's, trying to ignore her the deep chill inside her canvas sneakers as snow and cold slipped throught it. </p><p>When she arrived, she pushed open Joel's door as if she owned the place and she slugged her bag on the floor, not unlike any teenager would do. </p><p>"I'm here old man." She hollered, going to the fridge to grab something to eat.<br/>"Hey kiddo." Came the gruffy voice as his big silhouette appeared from the stairs, nurturing a precious mug of coffee. The one with the owl on it. "Where were you all night?" He asked, trying not to sound too concerned.<br/>"At Dina's." She grabbed an apple and eagerly bit into it. </p><p>Joel eyed her up and down and crossed his arms with a big fatherly grin. </p><p>"You're taking weight."<br/>Ellie snorted. "Seriously man? That's why you're single Joel. " she closed the fridge's door with her hip and leaned against the wall. </p><p>He chortled and ruffled her hair. "Come on kid. Eat your snack and go dress up warm. I, uh, we need to make some repair in the shed and the fence. Then you can have the rest of the day to do whatever y'all teenagers do."<br/>"You mean snorting coke and drinking myself unconscious? Sounds fun." She gave him her biggest amused smile and bit into her apple, moaning slightly at the juicy taste. </p><p>The man shook his head in fake disbelief and finished his coffee. As he passed next to the front door, his lowered his gaze on the row of shoes and boots linning the rug in front of it. He noticed his old cowboy boots, his winter boots, his run down brown leather shoes and Ellie's canvas sneakers. </p><p>"Kiddo, where's your boots? He turned to face her, frowning.<br/>"I don't have any." She shrugged sheepishly, the floor suddenly way more interesting than Joel. </p><p>The man cursed. "Godamnit.  Forgot to buy you some. So you came all this way in your sneakers? Why didn't you call me?"<br/>"I don't know, I just... I didn't think you'd buy me a pair. I've always done fine with them all winter." She admitted with a small voice. </p><p>Pain flashed across the older man face and he stepped closer. For a minute, Ellie thought he was going to hug her and she took a mini step back but he marched next to her to grab his keys on the counter. </p><p>"That's nonsense. I can't let you run off without winter boots. I swear my Ma wouldn't let me live it down if she was still here." </p><p>His voice was harsher than usual, but it was expressed toward himself. He felt guilty for forgetting such an important piece of clothing. The poor thing's feet must be so cold and freezing. </p><p>He made sure she was warm enough with her coat and he even forced a scrarf around her neck despite her childish protests. He muttered something about those foolish teenagers never wanting to dress up correctly for the season. Ellie supposed his daughter used to complaint as well, and that made her smile a little. She wondered if they would have been friends in another life. </p><p>Joel's car was a small run down pick up truck. Its red paint had decayed over the years and it was caked in mud and birds' craps. Ellie had been pestering him to wash his car, not because she cared, but because it was endearing to see him blush and look at his car judgmentally. He always said he'd do it after work but he never did. The guy worked his ass off, but he was so lazy on trivial things like this. </p><p>Ellie sat shotgun, buckled her belt on and looked at the man as he did the same, cozy in his brown leather jacket. "You know, we could wash your car while we're out." She proposed innocently, bitting on the smirk that wanted to spread on her lips.<br/>Joel poutted a bit but nodded. "I reckon it's time." </p><p>They rode off to the nearest Foot Lockers. At this time of day, people were off to places and there was actually a bit of traffic as they crossed the main street. Christmas lights hung from every lamp post, red and blue blinking cheerily as if there was nothing wrong with the world. </p><p>There was a time when Ellie loved Christmas. She would became herratic with excitation and search the whole house everyday for any trace of gifts. She would beg her father to take her on a trip around Boston to watch all the best decorations the state had to offer. He'd get annoyed but eventually give in, bringing his wife Anna along with them. </p><p>Ellie had always wondered if she had been a good daughter before they died. Each year since their deaths, Christmas always brought old feelings of loneliness and depression. Their family was small. She only had an aunt and a grand father alive but they were both living in Florida. She was sure they all forgot about her anyway. </p><p>Ellie let out a long sigh as she watched families going on their merry way, chatting togheter or holding hands to avoid toddlers running off in the middle of the street. </p><p>"You okay kiddo?" He asked, taking the time to turn her face toward her and let go of the steering wheel. They were stuck in traffic anyway. </p><p>She bit her tongue and pondered weither she should talk about what bothered her but finally decided against it. Joel was doing so much for her, he didn't need to be her therapist either. </p><p>"I'm fine, just... the town's beautiful this time of the year." She explained to him, eyes trailing along every shop and restaurant heavily decorated of Christmas knick knacks. </p><p>Joel's tone sounded heavy as he responded. " It sure is. Sarah used to drag me all around the friggin' state to watch ornated houses. We, uh, we'd go to the richest neighborhood and sleep in motels. Man, I miss that." He said wearily, turning back his sight on the road as the line advanced a little. </p><p>Ellie gaped at him. </p><p>"Seriously? You guys did that ?" She asked in disbelief, green eyes growing wider by the second. </p><p>He let out a hearthy guffaw at her reaction and patted the leathery wheel. </p><p>"Now, I know it's a bit weird, but it ain't that strange I swear. It was actually prett- oof." </p><p>Ellie was hitting him on his arm like it had a bug crawling over the surface and she was trying to smash it. "No way, old man ! Dad, mom and I used to do the same thing every year in Boston! Wow, what are the odds, uh? I'm glad we weren't the only weirdos. Man, I miss that too..." She smiled sadly at that time she could never get back. </p><p>The car was silent for a few moments, each assimilating what the other had said.. Joel scratched his beard in thought while Ellie was picking at her nails. </p><p>"Do you think-"<br/>"We could-" </p><p>They stopped at the same time. Ellie smiled awkwardly and stared at her lap. "Maybe you'd like to go sometime?" She was ready to face rejection. Surely, he had better things to do than taking a scrawny orphan all over Wyoming-<br/>"I'd like that." A smile so genuine showed under his unkept beard. His eyes shone with a light that wasn't ther</p>
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